Livin' La Vida Loca
by Nuky
Summary: What happens after DOFD? Sands get picked up by a girl and is losing his control. Meanwhile the girl is having problems on her own and needs to deal with death,shooting and Sands having flashbacks and battles to keep sane, COMPLETED!
1. La Tortura

**Okay, this is my first English story ever. I'm dyslectic ( that's writhing words wrong without knowing it, and well, seeing words wrong) So this is pretty hard for me. But because there aren't many Dutch QUATIM-readers I tought let's give it a shot, so here it goose: **

**Chapter 1) La Tortura.**

Sands could feel it, this was it. He was going to die. He had been sitting here for more than one hour. He was against a wall in the burning sun, his body full of bullet wounds, and yet he couldn't feel it. This moment was like heaven, no pain. But this was by no means good. And his eye, or what was_ left_ of them, were burning and itching like hell.

But Sands didn't have the guts to scratch. He didn't dare touch his face, he was afraid of what he might feel. FUCK, he didn't even dare take his sunglasses off. He couldn't even do it, just sitting here was hard enough.

He took a deep breath. Why couldn't it just end right now? He _knew_ he was going to die. The people who passed by knew it, even the chicle boy _knew_ it. The kid had left him a half hour ago.

'Strange', Sands thought. Why did the kid go? First he kept following me around like my shadow, and than he just disappeared like a ghost. Oh, well cant expect loyalty from a boy who lives on the street…

Again Sands took a deep breath. Would it help if he counted sheep? Or did that only work with sleeping problems? But is dying not the same? Before he could thoroughly think through the question he heard a voice.

"Eso lo es, que él!"

Painfully Sands turned his head, to look at were the voice came from. But the only thing he saw was darkness. Terrifying darkness. The painful reality hit him in the face, for the second time today. He couldn't see anymore. He would never see again. He was FUCKING BLIND! May the fuckmook who did this to him, _burn_ in HELL!

"Eso lo es, QUE ÉL!" There was that voice again. Wait he had heard that voice before, it was the chicle boy.

"Sut, arriba, Julio"!

Sands froze, there was another voice, it was very close now. He really didn't like this. Why did the boy come back? What did he want from him?

Then he felt a hand on his jaw. Instinctively he started to flail his arms in an attempt to fend them off. "Fuck off, don't touch me!" The little brat was probably back to rob him, and he had brought a friend with him. It wouldn't be surprising , you could trust no one.

"Calm down, señor". Sands heard now that this voice was high and light. Probably from a women or a girl. But at the moment Sands didn't give a damn. He just wanted everyone to keep walk and leave him alone. That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

"I'm here to help you, señor." Said the girly voice. What did the voice  
mean by 'help'. A bullet to the head kind of help? Or a being put in the hospital kind of help? If he had a choice he would go for option numbor uno.

He hated hospitals more than anything in the world. For him it was a place were you waited for death. A slow and painful death full of treatments that don't work, needles being shoved into your skin, and numerous useless operations.

"Don't… need…help." Sands muttered. Memo to self. Blood loss does not improve speech. "Yes, señor you need help." The voice was closer now and hasty. "The rebellions are coming closer, and you don't want to be sitting in the middle of it, believe me."

Even Sands had to admit that sitting here with hundreds of screaming and shooting people around him, was not really a good choice. But of course he wouldn't admit that some one else, other than himself, was right.

"Whatever." Slowly he tried to stand up, supporting himself on the wall behind him. This was pretty difficult. He suddenly felt dizzy and he knew he was going to fall against the wall any second now. He started sweating and the hot Mexican sun wasn't the reason

"Señor, support yourself on me." He felt an arm against his shoulder. His right hand got laid on it . "Hang on to my shoulder señor, I'll get you to a safe place."

If Sands hadn't felt this bad he definitely would have laughed right in her face. A SAFE PLACE! In _this_ freaking village? It would be more likely for you to find a cuddly porcupine. But willingly he let the voice walk him through the permanently dark world. Anything is better than sitting against a dirty wall with a_ fucking _rebellion coming right at you.

Slowly they walked through the city. Sands noticed that the shoulder he leaned on was very low. It came to about his waist. She was probably young, maybe twenty or so. Sands didn't really care, as long as she didn't let him walk alone.

After a while the girl stopped. "Señor, were here." She took his hand and placed it on a wooden bench. " If you like you can sit, I have to talk to someone."

Grateful Sands sat on the bench. He could feel that he was in the shadows, probably under a lean-to of a house. He felt around and...yes, behind him was a wall. He sighed relieved. This appeared reasonably safe to him. Carefully he laid his head against the cold wall and it felt really nice. It was, at least, stopping his head  
from exploding.

He heard voices coming out of the house. One was from the girl and one was from a much older lady, and he didn't recognize it.

"¡Es maldito mi cuarto". This voice was clearly from the girl and sounded angry.

"¡Y digo no ninguna manera". This one was from the old lady and she seemed pretty mad also.

"Por qué no!" The girl asked indignantly.

"Porque yo no quiero a hombres extraños en mi casa!" The older lady was furious.

"Pero es mi cuarto, y yo pagan por lo, aún exceso!" The girl sounded sweet and convincing. Sands heard some money roll.

The older lady made a deep sigh. "Santa Maria, your even more trouble than the mafia!"

"Por favor?" The girl's voice was begging now.

"Alright! "The old lady snapped. "But get him inside fast, junkies scare the customers away!"

Sand felt like his pride had just been stabbed with a _very_ large knife. How dared that _bitch_ call _him_ a fucking junkie! If he wasn't blind he would definitely… Fuck there was that word again. BLIND. HE. WAS. BLIND. And not just blind, but BLIND! With absolutely _no_ chance of recovery. Fuck, it was like his brain was creaming: BLIND! BLIND! BLIND!

He smacked his head against the wall. Maybe this would help make the thought go away. But after a couple of seconds he realised that it had not been a good idea. It felt like someone was cutting a piece out of his head.

A line of blood dripped along his cheek. GOOD JOB Sands! Look what you've done this time! LOOK… eyes… BLIND! FUCK! Again his brain was screaming. BLIND,BLIND,BLIND!

"Fuck off, shut up!"

"Señor, are you okay?" The girl's voice was back. Just great, now the kid was pitying him. Talk about a 'bad day'. The dizziness was

coming back. "Yeah, I'm fine…"

He felt a hand on his arm. "Come, señor you have to go inside." _Yeah_, like he didn't know that. But it wasn't as easy as it sounded, was it? He had two bullet wounds in his right leg. One in his left leg, right under his knee. One in his left arm and last but not lease he had lost _alot _of blood and...oh yeah, he was BLIND. B-L-I-N-D!

But he didn't have any strength left to fight the girl off. So he let her walk him in to the house, like a little child. The girl guided him to the second floor. He heard some keys, the cracking sound of a door and before he knew it he was sitting on a couch.

"Do you want something to drink señor?". The girl asked softly. The only thing Sands could do was nod. He was so tired, so _fucking_ tired. Not to mention thirst. 

He heard footsteps walking away from him. They walked to another room. Then he heard water running, and the footsteps came back. His hand got lifted and he was handed a glass of water. Grateful, he started drinking. He had never thought water could taste _so_ good.

"You can go to sleep if you want señor. I'll call a doctor and…"

Sands looked up to the girl, or were he thought the girl might be standing. "No! No doctors!"

"Yes señor, you need a doctor. I don't know anything about bullet wounds!" The girl sounded al little panicked.

Sands didn't care much. " I don't care. No FUCKING doctors, understood! I'm fine, I just need some sleep. I'll be fine… just no doctors!"

For a moment Sands heard nothing. He wondered if the girl had run  
away, which would have been good idea for her. But no, the brat was still in the room." Okay, señor, no doctors. Just go to sleep."

The footsteps walked away again and after several minutes they came back. The girl brought a pillow and a blanked. She made sure he was comfortable and tucked him in like a baby. Sands didn't care anymore. He was just glad he wasn't still against that dirty wall. He defiantly preferred to be on a warm, comfortable sofa. He noticed that the girl had put some painkillers in his water, how sweet. Finally, he felt relaxed enough to fall asleep.

**Translations: **

Eso lo es, que él: That's him, that's him!

Sut arriba, Julio": Sut up, Julio

Chicle: gum.

Señor: sir, mister.

Es maldito mi cuarto: It's my god damm room!

**¡Y digo no ninguna manera! (en ik zeg je er komt niks van in!)**

¿Por qué no? Why not!

¡Porque yo no quiero a hombres extraños en mi casa: Because I don't want strange men in my house!

¡Pero es mi cuarto, y yo pagan por lo, aún exceso: But it's my room, and i will pay extra.

So this was my first crappy English chap. Hope you liked it a little bit. You can't imagine how long it takes for me to write it. So please if you liked it review it, and if you don't, review too so I know what I have to change or do better, 'cause review's are very important for me, if I don't get one I'll just stop writhing

**And ones again, many thanks for my beta reader _fanfiction fanactic!_**


	2. The stray pup with fangs

**Again, may thanks for my beta reader _fanfiction fanactic_ Thanks to you the story looks so mucht better! **

**Disclame: Don't own Sands, good thing for him.**

**Chapter 2) The stray pup with fangs.**

Lizz was sitting in her favourite chair, listening to some crappy old  
Spanish music on her MP3 player, she was really starting to hate it. She stared at the stranger that she had sort of rescued from the street. She was fearing for his life.

The Poor guy looked terribly white because of the blood loss, he defiantly had a fever and in the last half a hour he had started to twist and turn in his sleep, probably getting tortured by nightmares.

But Lizz didn't dare to wake him up. He would probably die instantly if she did. The poor guy must have been to hell and back. And from the looks of him, it happened not so long ago, because the blood on his cheeks and dark sunglasses was still wet, when she found him.

She wanted a doctor to get a good look at him. But she didn't want to leave him alone in this condition. And calling a doctor wasn't such a good plan either. Some one could be tapping her phone...it wouldn't be the first time.

At that moment there was a soft knock on the door, followed by two quick ones. It was Julio, the neighbour kid. He came very often to her place to watch TV or play with her dog. He was good kid, and honest kid who you could trust. To bad he had a snake of grandmother who literally forbid him to come here.

Lizz smiled at the little boy, and thanked god at the same moment because now she didn't have to be alone with the stranger anymore. "Thank god you came Julio." The little boy grinned back at here and stared at the stranger. " Ningún problema, Lizz. Cómo él es." He pointed at the man." Not so good, I'm afraid." Lizz answered.

It was quiet for a couple of minutes in the sunny yellow room. The  
only sound that could be heard was the stressful breathing from the stranger. "Julio, could you do me a favour!" The boy nodded but kept staring at the dark-clad man. "Could you stay here and keep a eye in him, while I get a doctor?"

This time Julio looked up ate here. " Mí!" he ask a little bit worried, but also proud. "Yes, of course you. It's not that hard of a job. If he wakes up, which I highly doubt, you can just give him some water and painkillers. That will keep him down till I get back." The boy nodded again, busy thinking about his big responsibility.

Lizz smiled at the way Julio looked, and walked to the door. "Don't burn the house down while I'm gone!" And with that she opened the door about to leave. But then she heard the clicking sound of a gun. Quickly she turned around and looked at the man she mistaken fore being asleep. He was pointing a gun at here. A Silent Cold MC 96 to be precise, but who cares, a gun is a gun!

"I thought I was very clear about having NO FUCKING DOCTORS!" The man said with a low demanding tone. The man tried to stand up, but horribly failed. So instead he tried sitting. That didn't work as well as he might had planed. But with much support from his right shoulder he managed. "Now, get the _hell_ back in the room, who ever you are!" The man looked very deadly, ready to kill if he had to.

Lizz took a deep breath, closed the door and walked back in the room. She looked at Julio, trying to tell him with her hands and eyes that he just had to stay standing were he was. The boy looked back, a little terrified, but didn't move an inch.

Lizz took another deep breath and looked back at the man. She saw that his shoulder and arm were shaking. Clearly he was very weak and in great amount of pain. If she would play this right he would hopefully give up.

"So you want to shoot me right?" She tried to speak with a voice that didn't _give_ a shit. "Well then, there are a couple of things you should know. One, I know you can't see a dam think, so I could run. Two, you don't know were the hell you are, or even what house I brought you into. Three, just sitting is almost to hard for you so walking away is out of the question. And four, _if_ you shoot me some one will defiantly hear the gunshot, and you will be found in the same room as the body and the gun. That would mean _jailtime_ for you! I just wanted you to know that mister." Lizz sad hoping she sounded convincing enough.

The men sat totally still for a couple of seconds. He didn't even shake. "Fucking, fucking HELL!" he whispered. Slowly he put his gun back in his belt. His shoulder couldn't support him any longer and he dropped back onto the couch. He looked up, at her maybe, she wasn't sure. "Please, NO DOCTORS…"

The look on the man's face broke Lizz's heart. He looked like a sad  
little stray puppy with a broken leg. ( A big bad puppy with big fangs and claws, but still…) "Okay, senor no doctors. But what do you want then? You can's just stay lying around, you will probably bleed to death."

"Well, than I guess you will have to do something about it, niña." The guy said sarcastically and dominant. BAHM, the little puppy was dead and replaced by a big bastard.

"But, senor, I told you before I don't know anything about stitches or injuries. Of course I watch ER but… wait, never mind." Great Lizz, just great. The guy is nearly dead and your talking about you're favourite series.

"Cut the crape, niña, I'm from the Fucking CIA and I know what to do with bullet wounds. And I'd love to do it myself, but at the moment I CAN'T SEE A GODDAM THING!"

Lizz's eyes grew wide. "CIA, señor?" She said trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Yes, yes, the fucking CIA. That's what I said! MY GOD what are you? Stupid, deaf, or just blonde!" The man sounded irritated and bored.

Lizz felt here cheeks getting red. Son of a bitch! How dare _he_ talk to her like that! She saved his _goddamn_ life, for Christ sakes! But still she felt sorry fore the big-mouthed guy and dropped it, for now. " Do you think you can walk. "She asked slowly, trying not the piss the guy off, because he had still a gun.

"Do I LOOK like I can walk!" You sure you aren't blind too!"

Lizz was surprised by the coldness and sarcasm in his voice. How could some one in _his_ condition be so… so careless? Like he had no pain and thought everything was a joke. Maybe he was losing his mind. " I have to get you to the bathroom. "She explained. "I'm not much of a cleaner, and if I disinfected your wounds, I don't want any filth to get back in."

After the word bathroom the face of the stranger went pale, well paler than it already was. You could see him figure out that going to the bathroom ment walking. And walking would be painful for him, _very_ painful. He passed his hand throw his black sticky hair. "Whatever." He said finally and moved a little on the couch.  
Lizz's mouth dropped open when the guy stood up, taking sharp breaths.

Carefully he took a step and then another. "So where is that freaking bathroom." Lizz was still staring at the man and then she shook her head. She didn't get it, how could he be standing? Just a moment ago he was dieing in pain.

She guided him to the bathroom, trying to support him. Which was pretty hard because he was hanging on her with his full weight, his right arm was around her shoulder. It felt like he got heavier by the second. They almost made it to the bathroom but a few step before the door the men stop walking, and pushed here away. Lizz , who get smacked against the wall, let him loose.

The men dropped on the ground, holding his hand against his head,  
whispering the words '_fuck_, fucking, FUCK'.

Lizz looked at Julio, who was still standing in the room quiet and frightened, not knowing what to do now.

**Sorry fore the cliffhanger, but I just wanted to update my story so you know I'm still alive( and because I took me more than six hours to write it, cause of the looking up words and other stuff). I hope I made Sands as sarcastic, dangerous and annoying as in the movie. I also hope my English was good enough and if not, please tell me what I did wrong so I can correct it. And if there are other things I need to know please tell me, and keep  
REVIEWING PLEASE! And I will change the title, cause my inspiration left  
me.**

**LUVZZZ SUE-ANNESPARROW.**

-TBC-

Ningún problema: No problem.

Cómo él es: how is he?

Mí: me.( But you probably know that already.)

Niña: little girl.

Not much Spanish this time, ey!


	3. Freaking dream and alcohol

**Disclame: still don't own a thing. **

**Chapter 3) Freaking dream and alcohol.**

He was laying on a cold metal slab. His vision was blurry and he when he tried to stand up, he realised he couldn't. _He_ was stuck! He looked around for help, he hated to ask. Now he could see three people surrounding him. One was a mummy, one was his bitchy-witchy girlfriend and one was… a dentist?

_Why_ the _fuck _was there a dentist in this shit-hole? But he had no time to ask. Mummy-boy was talking to him. Something about 'seen to much.' In Bad boy terms that meant ' you're dead meat'. A fear filled Agent Sands. He didn't want to die yet and definitely not here with the big bad bitch and Mummy-boy.

Sands mumbled something to Mummy-boy: Mummy-boy had to watch out, because _He_ was from the CIA. But Mummy-boy just smiled at him. Not a _nice_ smile, not _nice_ at all. Again he said something about 'seen to much' and he took a couple steps back. Now the dentist walked towards him. Sands eye widened. The fuck mook had a fucking _drill_ in his hand. Not an ordinary dental drill but a fucking _big_ on! It looked like a hawk's claw with a deadly sharp spinning thing in the middle.

_'Seen to much, seen to much, seen to much, seen to much, SEEN TO MUCH!'_

"O MY FUCKING GOD!" Sands now understood what they wanted to do with him. They wanted to drill his eyes out! He was scared to death right now and he tried to run, tried to scream, he tried everything to stop the drill from getting closer. But the only thing he could do was look at that god damn thing.

Why did I ever trust that bitch, Ajedrez! Why was I so damn stupid? Then Sands thoughts stopped abruptly. Some one held his head and he felt unbearable pain as his head was drilled into. He had to scream, he didn't care if they thought he was pathetic. He just had to scream and scream.

Suddenly everything went dark. That scared him more than the drill.

"Where the _hell_ am I " Sands could hear a radio was on, a fan was spinning close to his left side. And he heard a choking sound, like some one was getting killed.

"Great live entertainment that I CAN'T SEE!" At that moment he realised _he_ had his left arm stretched out, and that _he_ was the one choking someone.

"Let me go you idiot, I can't breathe!" That 'someone' hissed, kicking   
against his arm. Sands cried out in pain. A rasping breath filled the room.

"MY GOD, YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY, I HAVE A MURDERING PSYCHO IN MY HOUSE!" A girly voice screamed.

Sands, in total shock, wanted to pull out his gun. Who ever that was might be one of the cartels, ready to kill him. Then he realised his right hand was tide up and his gun was missing. Shit, _this_ was not good! He felt sick and he started to sweat. It was a good thing that he hadn't ate for a while because he felt like he was going to throw up. He stared to get dizzy and he knew that soon he would faint.

Then a hand touched his left shoulder, the shoulder with the bullet wound.

"Don't fucking _touch_ me!" He wanted to fight, and he tried to hit whoever it was that touched him.

"Jesus, relax I want to help you. Man your tense!" The voice spoke nervously.

That voice. He had heard that voice before. Wait! It was that girl, the one who had helped him earlier. Well, not really helped him, since he had been planning on dying that day. Why did she help him anyway? He didn't have money and you couldn't say he was good-looking, _anymore_.

She was walking around him, he could hear her clearly. What was she doing? Was she really going to help him? Or would she kill him? No that couldn't be. If she wanted him dead she would have stabbed him in the chest while he was asleep ( if you could call that horrible nightmare sleep). Why, in fucks name, would she want to help _him_? Anyone with a brain knew he was a cold blooded killer who only cared about himself.

"Who the hell are you anyway." He asked trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

The footsteps next to him, stopped. It was clear that the girl had stopped walking (Unless she was walking on her toe's, which Sands highly doubted). "Why should you care, just a minute ago you wanted to kill me." Was the snappy answer.

'Great', Sands thought, a girl is almost as irritated as I am. Of course I have a much better reason. She still has her EYES! She can still _see_ stuff. She is probably looking at me right now with a big sadistic smile on her face.

"Then I ask you, why did you bring me here! Everybody in this _shit hole_ knows I am a big bad bastard that will shoot you dead before you can say 'what the fuck'!"

Sands wished he could see the look on her face. She must be terrified right now, or at least scared enough to leave him alone for a while. He would go to sleep again, and he would just sleep and sleep. Then maybe sleep a little more.

Too bad the freaking girl hadn't left. Sands heard a jingling sound coming from a bracelet close by his ear. "You really are a el grande macho, aren't you!"

This was one hell of a comeback and Sands hadn't expected it. She was talking to him like he was a little baby! He wanted to say something smart back, but he was out of sarcastic ideas. So he would hold back...for the moment.

The girl was still near him. Maybe he could kill here. It wouldn't be very hard, she was just a little girl. If he just had some strength left. But right at the moment he couldn't even lift his arm. He was exhausted from the dream. So he layed were he was, staying perfectly still, trying to hear what the girl was doing.

Next to him she placed 'things'. No idea what, sounded like glass and some kind of box. " Yeah, you're asleep!" The girl said, terribly loud.

Sands sighed, "No, I'm afraid I'm living a nightmare, you stupid little…" He grumbled.

"OKAY, I was just checking!" The girl snapped again. "Jesus, mister Grumpy!"

Sands was starting to get _really_ pissed off. And _if_ he was pissed off the whole world had to watch its back.

"Alright, listen up mister. I'm going to try and disinfect you're wounds. And by just looking at them I know this will hurt... a lot. So if you want any painkillers you just have to ask."

If his eyes hadn't been drilled out he would have rolled them right now. Like _he_, thedangerous Agent Sands, couldn't handle a little bit of pain. He'd lived though worse things than wound sterilization. Piece of cake! He moved a little bit so he lay comfortably and he turned his head to the spot were he supposed the  
girl was standing. "Gimme your best shot niña."

He heard a soft sigh." Your choice…" he heard a bottle moving and a wet towel pressed against his left arm. Immediately he bit on his lower lip. Horrible pain shot through his arm._ Don't_ scream, _don't_ scream, _don't _SCREAM! He gasped for air, trying to control his breathing.

"What… _THE FUCK_… did you…put… on me!" Acid would probable be the answer.

"Alcohol." The girl answered softly. "ALCOHOL! What kind of IDIOT puts ALCOHOL on a wound!" Adrenaline rushed through his body and the fainting feeling started to come.

"_Why_ in THE NAME OF GOD didn't you use iodine?"

"I didn't have any. And all the shops are closed." She explained still   
talking softly. "W-what time is it?" Sands mumbled.

"It's three PM, sir." Sands mouth dropped open. "So, how long was I  
asleep?"

It was quiet in the room for a couple of second. "I think a little bit more than two days. You behaved pretty weird in your sleep. Talking, screaming and every time I wanted to wake you up or walk by you tried to hit me." She laughed "So that's the reason you're hand is tied to the bed, you're not a prisoner or anything, it's just for my own protection. I still have bruises from the first time you smacked me against the wall. You're pretty strong, even when you're hurt."

Sands felt his proud grow a mile. He started to relax a bit because he now knew for sure that he was in a safe place. With some one who wanted to help him, however strange that may seem. But off course he didn't let slip his happiness. Stay cool was the motto of the CIA, so he did. He only grinned at the girl.

"This could hurt too, I'm going to remove the bullet. And I'm not sure it's smart to tell you this, but I've never done this before."

The happy feeling was smashed into pieces. Yeah, why not? My luck had hit bottom. I wouldn't be surprised if she told me that she's epileptic." Gimme that bottle." He stretched his 'good' arm. "C'mon gimme the bottle." He felt the cold glass and started to drink like a loony.

Rum, it was rum. His throat was burning like hell. Well, it could be worse, rum was good, rum was _really_ good. After half a bottle, in less than a minutes, he started to feel warm and fuzzy. He gave the bottle back to the girl. He felt like he was flying.

He lost track of time, felt almost nothing when the bullet was getting removed. Yeah, he would sleep soon. What a nice thought!

SMACK!

What the! Someone had slapped him in the face!

"Don't fall asleep smart ass." No he was awake again. Not good! Sleep good, wake bad. He wanted to _sleep_! _Why_ couldn't he sleep!

"WhIcannosleep!" Oh, yeah lots of alcohol wasn't good for speaking.

"Because if you fall asleep you could STAY asleep. You're still weak and you have lost _a lot_ of blood. And with _that_ much alcohol in you're body, well...I hear you could go in shock." Woah, that girl must be able to read minds if she actually knew what he meant. Or read his lips, or was drunk herself. Nah, couldn't be that. Little girl's _don't_ drink. Right? Let's think about that question , Sands.

Again she smacked him in the face. "DON'T. FALL. ASLEEP!" Sands was starting to hate this girl. "I'm gonna stitch your arm now." Sands' head was spinning. "Uhuh…" Wait, what did she say again?

"Shit." He whispered so soft no one would have been able to hear it. One stitch. Two stitch. Three stitch. Funny just like counting sheep, or dead bodies. Stitch, stitch, stitch. _Fuck_ he lost count. No fair! On they other hand the pain was minimum.

"Okay you're arm is done." Should he smile or something? Yeah, why not. A wicked smile filled his face.

"Bottle!" And with that he stretched out his arm again.

He started to drink again. If I can't go sleeping than I will drink till I ca_n't_ think anymore, he thought. He had suffer enough, right? To bad the evil little witch had other plans.

Roughly the bottle got snatched out of his hand. "You've had enough buddy." Why didn't he have his gun! _Fuck_ the world. Thank _god_ the fuzzy feeling had started to come back.

Time flew by, minute after minute. Sometimes he heard the girl swearing, but he had no idea why. He stared counting again but he couldn't remember what number came after five.

Finally the girl was done. "Okay, you can go to sleep now if you want. If something is wrong you just yell, I'll be in the next room so I will be here in a sec." Sands could only nod. He was exhausted and drunk, freaking DRUNK! He heard the girl walk away and he fell asleep, finally.

**Aaahhh… Poor little Sands… I like the drunken Sands! And do you like the girl? I tried to make her shy, but that would kill the fun. Hope you like this chap and don't forget to REVIEW please!**

Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.

-TBC-


	4. Name’s Agent Sands

**Chapter 4) Name's Agent Sands.**

Sands was sleeping. He was sure of it because he was five years old again. He was riding through the Mexican dessert on a big brown horse, wearing silly little cowboy clothes. He was happy. He smiled, as a kid he had always wanted to be a cowboy. A good cowboy like Lucky Luke.

He was Sheriff Sheldon, shooting faster than his shadow. He would kill the bad Indians so his village was safe. Everybody in his village loved him. He was a strong, honest and brave boy with a big heart.

But, there was one evil man didn't like him. That man thought Sherriff Sheldon was a weak, lazy chicken-shit little boy. But nobody could know the things the evil man said. The man would kill him if he told.

But Sherrif Sheldon didn't want to think about that man, not now, not today. He was riding on his big brown horse and he was happy. He was free like a bird, armed with a big silver gun. Today no one could hurt him, not Indians, or robbers, not even the evil man.

Sherrif Sheldon smiled as he looked around the dessert. This must be the most peaceful place in the whole world! There was red-sand everywhere you looked. Giant cactuses where growing around, decorated with bright pink and orange flowers. He saw a green lizards laying on a dark brown rock enjoying the sun. Heaven must look like this.

But then a gigantic shadow fell over him. "SHELDON!" It's scream was drunk and cruel. Sherrif Sheldon's heart stopped for a moment. A cold shivery feeling flew through his young body.

Scared to death he jumped off his safe horse. Sands knew it was a stupid mistake . But Sherrif Sheldon didn't know and he started running, looking for a place to hide from the evil man. But Sands knew Sherrif Sheldon would never find that save place to hide. Not for the next thirteen years.

"COME HERE YOU LAZY,WEAK PIECE OF SHIT!" The evil man's voice shouted! Sherrif Sheldon fell to the ground. He started shaking and crawled behind a big rock. "I WILL FIND YOU WORTHELESS LITTLE BOY!" The voice was close, so _fucking_ close. But Sands didn't dare to look behind him.

"I'M NOT WEAK! I'M NOT LAZY! I'M NOT WORTHELESS! I'M FROM THE FUCKING CIA!"

"Yes, yes you have mention that more than _four_ times. I get it, you're macho!"

Sands gasped and his dessert was gone, replaced with complete darkness. He noticed that he was sitting and every muscle in his body was tense. _Fuck_, why did the nightmare _have_ came back? He thought he had gotten rid of it! He didn't want to remember that part of his life. It was dead, burried and locked up some place in the recesses of his mind. How did it keep coming back, why couldn't it just stay were he had put it?

"Hey..._hello_? Are you okay? You look very pale." Some one said in a worried tone. Huh? _Shit_ where was he? C'mon Sands calm down, _think_! Oh, yeah he was with that girl, somewhere… "I'm fine." He said slowly. God, he had a hangover! His head felt like a ticking time-bomb ready to explode at any given second.

"Are you sure?" She paused. "Julio, obtenga alguna agua!" _Great..._the little chicle boy was here too, lets make it a family show! Watch the blind agent freaking out part II!

Quick footsteps walked into the room. "Eran, Lizz." Lizz smiled at the little boy. He was so sweet. But she didn't want him around right now. By the looks of the man he was very stressed and probably violent. When he was asleep, she tried to wash his face a couple of time, but everytime she got close he would grab her wrist. He was even alert when he was asleep.

"Vaya el reloj alguna televisión Julio." The boy looked at her and nodded. He walked to the door and took one last look at the man.

Lizz made sure he closed the door before she did anything.  
"Here drink this." She said in a calm tone hoping the guy wouldn't know she was terrified of him. The man took the glass from here and started to drink. Again he looked like a puppy. Now she noticed how thin he was. If he wasn't so muscular she would think he was anorexic.

She realised she had to say something. But what _could_ she say to _him_! "Do you want something to eat?" She asked finally, hoping he wouldn't throw things at her head. Remarkably the man stayed still and just nodded. "Okay, I'll get you something." Slowly she walked away, not knowing what to think.

Something to eat! What kind of question was _that_! Sand grinded his teeth. He hadn't eaten a proper meal in more than four days, so _yeah_ he was hungry. He could eat a horse. But since he had to wait a while he laid back and listened to the music on the radio.

_'Yes people it's siesta time! It's sunny and if you look outside you can __see__ a beautiful cloudless sky. It's 102 degrees in the shadow and for those people who don't have a swimming pool and don't want to sleep, here is Ricky Martin with: If You Ever __SAW her__…'  
_  
_'She's got a look in her __EYE__  
That says she knows why  
Just to taste her is never enough  
She gets a thrill outta lovin'  
And WATCHING you SUFFERING,  
She says you can LOOK but you don't touch'  
_  
Sands sat totally still on the bed. His face was total numb and he had an insane smile on his face. _Sure_, why not God! Not like my day wasn't _crappy_ enough! You just have to rub it in my face, don't _you_! Stupid FUCKMOOK! He kicked the radio off the table next to him.

The machine made one last dieing sound and then silence filled the room. I just killed _God_, I'm SOOO good! Pleased with himself Sands sat back and put his 'good' arm behind his neck. He was planning on taking a nap.

Suddenly a fluffy, barking thing jumped on him and started to lick him. Sands nearly had a heart attack, after recovering he grabbed the fluff ball and threw the _thing_ off the bed. The fluff ball growled and started to lick itself.

GREAT, a _dog_! He the Big Bad CIA Agent got scared by a _tiny_ little dog! OH, gross that freaking animal had drooled all over him. His hands, his face even under his sunglasses was sticky with drool.

What was it with people and dogs! What was so _great_ about a FREAKING dog? It eats your shoes, shits in your house, barks when you want to sleep and drools like Niagara Falls. Slowly Sands removed his dark sunglasses in an attempt to trying and wipe the drool off.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That's my dog, Killerbee, she's _very_ sweet and..." The girl started to scream and he heard the smashing sound of glass. What was wrong with that kid! Was he in a mental hospital or something! Then it hit him in the face, hard, like a baseball bat. He was still holding his sunglasses in his hand…

"Santa Maria…" Was the only thing Lizz could say. She stared at the man in front of her. No wonder he grabbed her wrist when she tried to clean his face. THANK GOD HE DID! Her stomach had almost been emptied when she looked at him. She thought he was just blind, but this…He HAD NO EYES! NO FUCKING EYES! She could look right into his blooded sockets, she was afraid if she looked close enough she would be able to see his brains. "Who did _this_ to you?"

He sat totally still, and Lizz got the feeling that she was looking at a big doll. ( Thank god Sands can't read minds…) Slowly he putt the glasses back on. "Just _forget_ that you ever saw _that_…" The man whispered in a demanding yet scared voice, she could hear that part clearly.

"But I don't under…" She felt brain-dead at the moment. Even with his glasses on she could she the empty sockets in her head, over and over again. A billion question came up in her mind. Who did this to him? Why did they do this to him? Is he really from the CIA? How could he, in such bad condition, still be so _god_ damn annoying?

"Just forget everything, savvy!" His voice was now forceful. Her questions would have to wait. He was not going to tell her anything, at least not now. Who knows, maybe he never would. " _Okay_." She looked at the broken glass on the ground. "I'll get you something else to eat." And with that she quickly left the room.

_Great_...Sands, ol'd boy. You did an absolutely GREAT job back there! _Finally_, you found someone who wanted to help you, didn't want to kill you, didn't want money for helping you, and didn't think you were a _nobody_ because you BLIND! AND YOU SCREWED IT UP! You took your _fucking_ glasses off, you FUCKMOOK! You let her _see_ what kind of pathetic _freak_ you really are… And for the seven thousandth time you use the word _see_! Don't say that you idiot, you _can't_ anymore.

He sighed. I wonder what the girl is thinking right now…

"BAD...BAD DOG!" Lizz shouted at Killerbee. "You know you aren't suppose to drool on strangers!" The little French bulldog looked sadly at her and peed on the white, clean, floor. Lizz looked at the sad dog and gave her a cookie. It wasn't her fault, normally everybody loved Killerbee. The dog couldn't have known that the big jerk hated dogs. Lizz was quite upset. Which wasn't really strange consider that just about a minute ago she saw a guy with no eyes, for _Christ's_ sake! A shiver went through her body. " Man, I am going to need a _fucking_ therapist after this."

Wait a second. _He_ needs one more than I do. She remember the blood on his face was still wet when she found him. Whatever horrifying thing had happened to him, it couldn't have happened that long ago. Poor guy, he must have been through alot. Well let's get him some food…

Footsteps came closer. Sands knew it was that girl. Her footsteps were quick and made a clicking sound, which means she is wearing some sort of heels. "I made you soup, can you eat yourself?" Again he wished for a gun. "Do I look like an idiot, who can't eat by himself!" Good one Sands! Nice and sarcastic.

"_Do_ you really _want_ me to answer that!" The girl asked politely, with a hint of a sarcastic undertone just below the surface. _Shit,_ this girl was good! "Gimmy the _damn_ food, brat!" The girl placed a bowl of 'something'. Next to him. "It's soup." She explained.

"What kind of soup!" Sands asked. "I dunno, I can't read Spanish, but there was a picture of a dog on it."

Sands, ready to throw-up, wanted to say something mean and nasty. But the girl was faster. "I'm just kidding, _Jesus_ CIA people don't have any sense of humour, it's chicken noodle soup." She sighted.

Stupid girl, Sands thought angrily. CIA agents have a _great_ sense of humour. Killing cooks for instance! _That_ is funny, but she probably don't get it!

He could hear her sitting next to him on a chair. She started to sing a song really soft. "Wait a minute!" She said. "Were _is_ the music! Were is _my_ radio!" Now Sands started to smile. Of course destroying other peoples property was fun too!

"AAAAHHH!" The girl screamed. Sands smile grew bigger. "_You_ bastard, _you_ broke _my_ radio! Why did you brake _my_ radio!" Sands sadistic smile was in place. "I guess I wasn't in the _mood_ for music."

The girl was quiet for a couple of seconds. Sands knew he had won this time. Thank _god_, he had been afraid he was losing _it_. "Just _shut_ up and eat your soup." Was the only thing the girl said.

"You're not mad at me!" Sands asked feeling his happiness flow away.

"No I'm not. I'll just have to sell your gun and buy a new one. A better one. One with _big_ speakers so that you can hear it through the whole house." Sands smacked himself on the head. _Shit_, he hadn't see that one coming. She was _good_. "You're some evil bitch you know that!"

She giggled "Yes I know, can't help it. You're good two!" Sands picked up his spoon and tried to find the bowl. After three minutes of horrible failure the girl started to get bored and he started to get pissed off, _again_. "Give me the spoon, or else it will take _forever_."

Sands didn't want to give the spoon back. He wanted to eat by _himself_! He wasn't a baby, he was a grown CIA Agent! Stubbornly he kept the spoon in his hand. "Give me the damn spoon, loony. Or I'll drop the bowl on your head!"

Being covered with hot chicken-noodle soup wasn't on Sands to-do list. So he gave her the spoon. "I swear _if_ you start speaking baby-talk to me I _will_ kill you!" He felt around him and found a pen. "With this!"

Lizz bit on her lip trying not to laugh. "Man, I'm scared _shitless_, I really am." The guy 'looked' angrily at her. "You _damn_ well better be!"

She stared to feed him, trying to ignore the urge to say things like, 'Look what a big boy'.

"So what's your name, _mister_ I'm-from-the-CIA?" The guy swallowed his chicken soup.

"You tell me _your_ name first." Lizz rolled here eyes. With this guy there was never an easy answer…

"My full name is Elizabeth Maria Carmen Cecilia… Smith. But everybody calls me Lizz." She felt his hand on her face. What did he want? Slowly his hand moved to her cheek, to her nose, around her eyes and finally he touched her hair.

"Straight hair, probably blond or brown, kind of an oval shaped head, a small nose, and big eyes, blue I think. Your about sixteen and you aren't Mexican, are you?" The guy 'looked' interested to her.

Damn that guy is good! "I'm half Mexican. My dad was Mexican and my _mother_ was a New York _bitch_. But enough about me, what's your name."

A mysterious grinned appeared on the guy's face. "The name's Sands, Agent Sands…"

**MAHAHAHAA, I LIKE this girl! She is fun! And what did you think about the evil song on the radio? Good or not? And his dream? I really think it's good, Because Sands is two people at the same time. Was it to complicated? Or just crap? ( I hope you don't think that…)I thought it was the most ironic song in the whole world! Sorry for the stupid ending I had no idea how I had to end, so sorry**

**Translation:**

Julio, obtenga alguna agua: Julio, get some water.

Eran, Lizz: Here Lizz.

Vaya el reloj alguna televisión Julio: Go watch some t.v Julio.

Not much Spanish this time.

Look at that BIG,BRIGHT,REVIEW BUTTON, and REVIEW!

Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.

--TBC--


	5. Key’s don’t fit

**I'm on a roll people! I just can't stop writing. To bad I had to work   
today. God damn bastard kept me there till 8 P.M! Thank GOD I had a nice view, Johnny Depp! ( Okay it was a poster, but so what!)**

Disclaimer: I HATE this part, I don't wanna say it. ( but I have to) But…IT'S NOT FAIR! Okay here it goes: I don't own anything in OUATIM, not even a rock! But I DO own Lizz and Kilerbee, so keep your claws off of them! And I DO own 3 Johnny Depp Posters, so maybe I own him a little, don't you think?

Chapter 5) Key's don't fit.

_"And she bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby  
When she moves, she moves  
I go crazy"_

The song drilled through the bathroom. Hot water touched her skin.

" 'CAUSE SHE LOOKS LIKE A FLOWER BUT STINGSLIKE A BEE, LIKE EVERY GIRL IN HISTORY!SHE BANGS,SHE BANGS!"Lizz screamed, pretending she was a pop star. She stared to dance under the spray of water. Thank god she had found another radio, it wasn't a good one, but so what! Music is the _best_ thing in the whole world! Taking a shower was second best. And a combination of the two was absolutely wonderful!

"_Talk to me  
Tell me the news  
You wear me out like a pair of shoes  
We'll dance until the band goes home!"_

She stepped out of the bath and stared to comb her hair, still singing with the music. Lizz picked up a soap bottle, holding it like a microphone, and continue singing. She closed her eyes and saw an audience clapping for  
her! She must be really _good!_

Woah...waaaaait a minute! It didn't sound like a audience, not even like a  
group of people. It sounded like _one_ person, and Lizz _knew_ who that person was. She open her eyes and saw Sands, stand against the bathroom door, clapping and smirking evil. Lizz felt here cheeks getting red and screamed, forgetting for the moment that he couldn't see her.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" She quickly wrapped a towel around her body. Sands raised his eyebrows.

"Well, enjoying the show, off course." He smile again.

"GET,OUT! GET OUT, YOU SICK LITTLE MAN!" Lizz pushed him out of the  
door and locket it quickly. "PERVERT!" She shouted through the door. The only answer was loud laugh.

She stared to get dressed. It had been three day since she had found Sands, but each morning she jumped when she saw him sleeping on the couch. ( Yes, the couch, she had kicked him out of _her_ bed!) It had been a long time since she had had a roommate (if you could call _him_ that) or even another person staying with her. She liked it that way, just her and Killerbee.

When she got dressed she unlocked the door and walked into the living room, were Sands was sitting on the couch with a big fat grin on his face. He turned his head in her direction and grinned even more.

"So _finally_ you killed the cat, that _poor_ animal...must have been in a _great_ deal of pain. Why else would it be screaming like that!" Lizz didn't want to give him another chance to insult her, so she just gave him the finger.

"Well, fuck you too, _luv_." He said.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "How did you…?"

"Your so _god_ damn predictable sweetheart, and I heard your _stupid_ bracelet,  
making a tinkling sound, very annoying." He said sarcastically. The first  
thing Lizz wanted to do was killing him, but she doubted that even _that_ wouldn't shut him up! He was like a cockroach, he would never die...and he would never _stop_ talking.

No more than two days ago she was sure he wouldn't make it. He had been lying in bed not moving after the day she fed him. But she was wrong and  
today he was moving around a bit, ordering her around, and shouting at  
her.

"MY bracelet _isn't_ stupid OR annoying! My dad gave it to me when I was  
four!" Tears started to welled up in her eyes.

"_Wh__atever_, niña." He waved her away. "Now, go get me a tequila and lime." Her hands started to shake, this time he had gone to far!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Before he know it the brat had smacked him on the back of his head. "YOU BIG JERK! How dare you order me around! This is my house, this are MY stuff! I _wish_ I had let you die leaning against that freaking wall! JESUS, why do _you_ have to be in control all the time?" He could hear her crying. She ran to the door unlocked it and, BAM, the door was slammed shut. She was gone. Man, he had _fucked_ up this time…

_Flashback._

A crystal vase feel on the ground, a small table broke. And yet he just kept  
kicking and punching. Another vase fell, a chair leg broke, and the TV was  
smashed into pieces. 

"_Baby, __please__, let's talk about it." But Sands didn't  
hear Ajedrez, his rage was to big. He stared to rip the curtains into tiny pieces. _

_"__Please__, Sheldon, it was just a drink. He's just a colleague  
we didn't…" Ajedrez couldn't finish. Sands hit her in the face and pushed   
her to the ground._

"_Don't you EVER, __ever__ call me that again you __fucking__ bitch!"  
Ajedrez looked at him with tears in her eyes and her cheeks an angry red. _

"_You __hit__ me…"She said, like she didn't believe it, like she didn't want to believe it. She looked at the ground and picked up a photo. The photo from there first date. _

"_Why__ do you have to be in control all the time!" Now she was crying.  
The anger flew away. He wanted to say __he__ was sorry, that __he__ loved her more  
than anything in the world, that __he__ was sorry, that __he__ would make it better,  
that __he__ was sorry! But __he__ couldn't say it. A dark voice told him to shut up and leave the damn bitch.. Slowly he picked up his leather coat and walked out. This was the last time his keys would fit._

_End flashback.  
_  
Sands turned on the TV. He didn't want to think about what a _fuckmook_ he was. Hitting a women, his _girlfriend_, that was pathetic, sick _no_ sicker than  
sick. He had hit the only women he had lov…

No loving wasn't the right word. He was incapable of loving or being loved. Nobody had ever loved him, not even his mom, that _bitch_ had left him with his dad, _his_ dad! She must have hated him a lot to have made him live with that guy. And if your _mom_ doesn't love you…

Shut up Sands, _don't_ go back there. That chapter is closed. Go watch TV…_Hear_ TV, shut up and wait till the girl comes back, she will make you dinner if you ask nice, and then you can go to sleep. He kicked his shoes off and tried to listen to the Spanish TV.

**Yes I'm sorry this so sort but I wanted to end this chapter here, cause the  
next one will be all action and shooting ( I hope, not sure, maybe…) I  
really like to think like Sands, all nasty and mean. And I like to write  
the dream-things and flashbacks. There will be more of that, I promise.**

Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.

No Spanish this time! Sorry.

On tiny winy thing about reviewing. I like to hear 'your story is great'  
or things like that (DUUUUH!) But could you also say why you like it! If I  
know what you,my dearest readers, like then I can write more of the thing you like!


	6. Car Crash

**Disclaim: Don't own a damn thing, not even the fucking car!**

**Chapter 6)Car Crash. **

"That _stupid_ ASSHOLE! After what _I_ did for him! I saved his sorry _ass, a_nd yet he still treats me like a...like a..._DOG_! He shouts at me, orders me around and to top it all off he is utterly sarcastic about _EVERYTHING_! Worst of all that _bastard_ made fun of _MY_ bracelet!" Everyone on the street looked at Lizz, but she didn't seem to care or maybe she just didn't notice.

How dare he say something about _that_ bracelet! _My_ dad gave it to me on the day he…That...that... _jerk off_ had no right! And why oh _why_ does he have to be from the CIA! _Christ_, Didn't I have enough problems already! These last three and a half months had already been one huge never ending _hell_. Fortunately _that_ part of her life was over now. It's time to start looking on the brighter side of things.

Lizz smile and looked to the sky. It was light blue and there were no clouds in sight. Now _that_ is a true Mexican sky. She had always liked Mexico. As a kid she had fantasized about this place. Her dad had _loved_ to talk about it. About the people, about the houses, about _everything_. She had wished then, and still did wished now, that she looked more like him. Not only physically but mentally. She didn't like her straight blonde hair or her fair skin and she could have deffinately gone for more courage.

She looked at her reflection in a nearby window. Man, she really looked like crap. Her hair was too _long_, her clothes where too _sort_, and her shoes were _so_ last year!

"Why don't I buy some clothes?" She asked her self, people looked at her agian. Yeah, why not she _had_ the money. _Strange_, she hadn't thought about that before. She laughed, _she_..._had_..._the_...MONEY!

After a few minutes she found a nice shop. _'Prima Dona'_, sure it was an expensive store, but Lizz didn't _care_ about prices..._or_ the strange looks that the salesmen gave her when she walked in.

About half an hour later she left the shop. Now she was 1873.50 pesos lighter, but two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, and a new pair of shoes heavier. At the moment she was wearing a white skirt decorated with silver-colored beads, a light blue sleeveless shirt, and a pair of white sandals. The I-want-to-hurt-someone feeling was gone and it had been replaced with the happy-that-I'm-alive feeling. She had _even_ bought something for Sands. It was a pair of black jeans and a novelty tee saying: _'People hate me'_. That shirt just _screamed_ 'Sands'!

"Let's get me some ice cream." She said, and once again the passer-bys stared at her, confused. It is the absolute best thing to do after shopping. She walked to the ice cream stand and bought a scoop of Vanilla. What should she buy now? Thinking about her next slew of purchases she walked quickly forward.

BHAM! She had bumped into a big man in leather.

Her ice cream now covered said man's back. Some _might_ call it modern art, maybe. "Arrepentido, señor, I'm sorry sir!" Lizz apologized. The man turned angrily around, and looked her in the eyes. Lizz felt cold fear rush through her body. "Ah, SHIT!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands was lying on the sofa listening to a Spanish talk show. His Spanish _obviously_ wasn't that great...unless that guy really did want to marry his donkey. He switch off the TV and tried to fall asleep. He almost had, until some _fuckmook_ started shooting in the street.

Slowly he stood up and walked to the window. He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Option one was to shoot the _fuckmook_ down, but his gun was a little bit _missing_, stupid girl! So on to option two, he closed the window.

By the time he had shut the window he heard running footsteps, a slamming door and the ragged breathing of the girl. Great, she was back, now she could start cooking! But he didn't even get the chance to ask.

"Go to the kitchen, HURRY!" She screamed, slamming the door shut and locking it. Sands could hear people running downstairs and breaking the glass and wood that was on and in the house.

"What the _fuck_…" He whispered. He didn't receive an answer. The girl grasped his arm and pulled him into the kitchen. He heard the dinner table fall and the clicking sound of a gun. He grabbed the girl by the throat pulled her face close to his. "What the _fuck_ is going on!"

"Let me GO!" She pushed him away "Those man are looking for…" At that moment the door was smashed into splinters. The girl all but stopped breathing and placed his gun in his hands. " _Please_, kill them!" She whispered, her voice filled with fear. But Sands wasn't listening, he was just _fucking_ glad that he had his gun back.

"Okay. I'll kill the _fuckmooks_, but _first_ describe them"

"There are four guys in the room, they are big. They look kinda like boxers and they are wearing black clothes and hats, you _know_ like people in gangster movies." The girl whispered. Sands lost his temper.

"No, you _dumb ass_! By describing I _mean_ tell me if they are armed and if they have seen us. _Not_ their attire!" Exactly after his, to loud words, the first 'gangster' opened fire.

"Well, guess what _jack ass_, their armed and thanks to _your_ screaming _they_ know were _we_ are!" She voiced angrily next to Sands.

Alright that _was_ stupid, but he _was_ Agent Sands after all, and he always has a plan B! He grabbed the girl by her hair and pulled her up pressing the gun to her temple.

"Drop your weapons, or the girl _dies_!" He spoke as calmly as he could.

A couple of meter in front of him the man started to laugh.

"IDIOT!" The girl yelled. "You _still_ don't get it! They're not after _you_, they're after _me _!"

Sands mind paused there for a second. He didn't get it, he really _didn't_ get it! Why did the gangster want the girl and _not_ him? He was a killer, a traitor, and a sadistic CIA agent who had crossed a lot of people! While he was thinking this over bullets started to fly around his head like bees. He quickly dropped to the ground bringing the girl with him.

"What the _fuck_ is going on!" He hissed, hoping he was looking the girl in the face.

" _Later_, I'll tell you later, we have _bigger_ problems right now!" He heard the click of a gun next to him . _Shit_, the girl has a _gun_! Why does the _little_ girl have a _fucking_ gun!

"Can you shoot!" He asked, hoping to get a 'yes'.

"_Me _!" Her voice sounded surprised. Sands sighed.

"No, the _god damn_ POPE! Of course you! Do you see anyone else around here willingly to help us!"

"Well, I've never _really_ fired a gun before…" her voice said doubtfully.

"Nevermind, _I'll_ shoot the fuckmooks! Just say were the _fuckers_ are, you can do _that_, right!" Offended she whispered some Mexican curses, but did what he asked.

"One is two meters in front of us, at eleven o'clock." Sands, thanking god that the girl knew some army terms, jumped up and shot. Man he really _had_ missed this, he thought as his enemy groaned and dropped dead on the floor.

"Another one, half past ten o'clock." Sands jumped a meter back, shot, and once again heard the scream of a dieing man. The man was taking to long to die, so Sands decided to help him with this problem.

"That's for _fucking_ with me! You didn't think _I_ could do _that_ right! Cause I'm _blind_, right! Well, _you_ thought wrong!" Sands smirked and pulled the trigger again. This time he hit the man in the head. He spat on the ground, he was good! Really..._good_!

"The other two ran away." The girl explained.

"Good!" Sands said pridefully, he was back in the game! "Now get the _hell_ out of here, they will back soon!" He demanded.

"Yes, _yes_, just a second!" The girl mumbled. Sands turned his head to the girl.

"_Fuck_ 'just a second'! We have to go! NOW!" But her footsteps were already running away. He could hear the fluff-ball barking, the opening and closing of a closet and the quiet noise cause by a zipper.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Okay, we can go now!" Lizz draped her bag over her shoulder, grasped Sands' hand and ran to the balcony. _Shit _! It was worse then she had thought. Ten 'gangsters' were at her door. _Shitty_, Shitty, _Damn_, Fuck! _Fuck_! For a moment she had forgotten Sands' blindness.

"What's happening!" Lizz looked around. "There's _ten_ 'gangsters' trying to kill my front-door, _two_ 'gangsters' running around my house, and _we_ are on my balcony."

"So, in other words, were _fucking_ screwed!" Sands yelled. Lizz thought for a second.

"_No_, not yet!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the railing.

"_Woah_, woah, _woah_! What's the plan ,_luv !__"_ He asked a little bit disturbed.

Lizz ignored him.

"Just trust me _okay_!" She placed his hands on the railing. "Okay listen _very_ carefully. We're on the second floor, under the balcony is a drain pipe. Climb about half way down, and to your right there will be a fence. Climb down that fence and walk 'till you feel a wall. Got it?

"But…"

"DON'T BUT! We don't have time for 'BUT's!" Lizz looked around and saw that the 'gangsters' had almost reached the living room. "Trust me on this one, or we will both get killed!" And ,thank god, after that the CIA Agent started to climb. She had would have pushed him off the balcony if he hadn't. That wouldn't have re-enforced her trust talk effectively.

When Sands reached the wall Lizz started to climb. She jumped down the fence and ran to Sands.

"Okay, we're _still_ alive, let's go!" Again she grabbed his hand and started to run into a dark alley. After a few seconds they reached the end of the alley and immediately bullets were everywhere. Quickly she pushed Sands against the wall and dropped to the ground. "_Great_...what do we do now!" She asked, as they both sat against the cold wall.

Sands tough for a moment "Is there a car anywhere near here" he asked.

Lizz looked around. Yes, there was a car. A silver cabriolet convertible with an open roof and a very happy young man in the drivers seat, it was probably a birthday gift.

"Yeah, I can see a car."

"Great, bring me to the car." Sands said, reloading his gun. They stared to run to the car, trying not to get hit by a bullets as the 'gangsters' continued shooting. By the car Sands aimed. "Am I aiming at the driver!" He whispered, to Lizz direction.

"Yeah, almost." Lizz whispered back, nudging his gun so that it was were it was suppose to be. "_Now_, you're aiming at the driver."

"_Good_!" Sands smiled. "OKAY,LISTEN UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS CAR, AND LEAVE THE KEYS!" And for good measure, he shot in that general arrear to further enforce his point. But strangely enough, he didn't hear a slamming door and a running fool.

"The driver doesn't understand English." The girl explained.

"WHAT! I'M _FUCKING_ SCREAMING AND SHOOTING AT HIM! WHAT ELSE COULD IT MEAN, BESIDES 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR CAR'!"

"_Well_, some people want money, or something…"

"Shut up! Just tell him that He _fucking_ has to get out!" Sands was starting to get pissed off again, and just killing the fucker was beginning to sound very logical. The girl sighed and started to speak fluent Spanish.

"le escucha pedazo de mierda! Obtenga el JODE fuera de coche de youre. Y lieve las llaves en!" The nineteen year old paled, jumped out of the car and ran away. Lizz felt a little sorry for him. It must be terrible to see you car get stolen by a little girl and a blind mental patient.

"Hey, girly! GET IN THE CAR!" Sands pointed at the drivers seat. Lizz's eyes widened. "ME! DRIVING?" Sands kicked the tire.

"YES! of course _you_! Do you think it a good idea to let _me_ drive! C'mon get in the car! Those _fuckmook_ are coming!" Lizz was throwing daggers with her eyes. She took a deep breath and sat down in the car.

Sands jumped in next to her. "Well, go ahead, _drive_! Everyone is waiting!" Lizz did her best to ignore the annoying CIA Agent and carefully pressed gas pedal and started to drive. She heard the sound of a motors and looked around. There where ten 'gangsters' following them on black motorcycles! Sands must have heard it because he stepped on the gas pedal. The car went from 30 to 100. Lizz, who had never driven before, started to scream.

"LET GO OF THE GAS PEDAL!" She screamed. But Sands, stubborn as he was, didn't listen and the car kept speeding up while Lizz tried to avoid people, other cars, balloon stands and kids on bikes. Finally after two terrifying minutes they reached the highway. After Lizz narrowly avoided a terrible car crash, she started kicking Sands. "LET. THE. GAS. GO. YOU. IDIOT!"

"_No, _keep driving, the bikes are still close!" Shouted Sands, giving her a push, just for the kicks. _That_ was not a smart thing to do. Because of the push, Lizz gave a sharp yank on the wheel which turned the car, and before they knew it the car was driving on the wrong side of the road. Then there was a loud explosion. Lizz quickly looked behind her

Three bikers had crashed into each other. She started to laugh and looked back at the road. Immediately her smile diapered. A huge red truck was coming her way. She started to scream and pulled on the wheel.

The car made a half spin to the left and because of its' speed, drove to the right, into the dessert. The car flew a meter off the ground, and Sands, who wasn't wearing his seat belt, also flew up...and landed in the back seat.

"FUCKING HELL! You almost _killed_ me!"

"Oh, don't be such a _baby_! Shoot the bad guys, there are still five after us!" Lizz yelled, enjoying the thought that she had _really_ scared Sands! She pressed on the gas again. As the speed increased Sands was shooting like a madman. After a while Lizz looked in the mirror and saw that all of the motorcyclists were gone. "WHOOO! THAT WAS SO COOL!" She screamed, then looked at Sands who was reloading his gun and smirking insanely.

"You've got that right!" He grinned. Lizz smiled even more.

"WE ARE _SO_ GOOD!" She felt like superman, she was on top of the world.

It was too bad that she had forgotten to drive the car. The car collided with the side of a large rock at 80 miles and hour, and went into a mad spin. Both Sands and Lizz flew out of the car, and into the warm red Mexican dessert.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Surprised Sands stood up. _Strange_, usually when something bad happens he breaks something, gets shot, or looses _his_ _EYES._ But _this_ time he was alright!

So...were was that pain-in-the-ass girl, anyways? Hopefully she was alright! _Not_ that he cared about her or _anything._ She had been nothing but trouble from the beginning. But she _was_ his eyes, and since they were stuck in the middle of nowhere, he needed her.

"HEY,GIRLY, WHERE ARE YOU!" He yelled.

"I'M OVER HERE!" She screamed back. A couple of meters away from him. Carefully, trying not to fall over rocks, Sands stumble to her voice.

"You okay?"

"Of course I'm _not_ OKAY, I just killed the most _beautiful_ car in the world, because _you_ distracted me! I think I have a _freaking_ concussion. And I am sitting _god_ only knows were in Mexico with a...PSYCHOTIC TRIGGER HAPPY CIA AGENT!" After her freak-out a loud BHAM, sounded from the car. It was exploding. She cursed.

Normally if someone had said _that_ about him, he would have blown their brains out. To bad he needed her to get him out of this shit hole.

In the meantime the girl stood up and swung an arm around his shoulder. "_So_, what are we gonna do now?" That was a very good question, Sands thought, already irritation about her arm around his shoulder. What where they going to do? It was around 2 o'clock, and walking back would be like digging their _own_ graves. Especially if you don't have any _eyes_, and you're guide is a _little_ girl. "Let's go sit in the shade, in this heat that is about all we _can_ do."

Lizz nodded, saw Sands waiting for her answer and said: "Yeah, fine." Slowly she guided him and herself to a place full of large rock and dead trees. How stupid of her, how could she forget that he _couldn't_ see. How had he killed all those 'gangsters' anyway, I mean he has no eyes!

She looked at him from the left. He looked so cold, like he didn't care if he live or died. His left cheek was bleeding and he still walked a little bit like a wounded man. She realised that she still didn't know anything about him. The only thing she was sure about was that he was dangerous and had worked for the CIA.

She looked at the sky. I guess we will just have to wait till sun set.

**Well, Well, my first chap with some action in it! Email me or review if you have any suggestions or critiques, or if you just wanna say: WHAT A GREAT CHAP! That's good too even better, for my self esteem. **

**Sorry about the lack of Sands' thoughts, and about smashing the car. Too bad isn't it? Anyways I really hope you liked it!**

**Owh and fanfiction fanatic, I luvvv this line: PSYCHOTIC TRIGGER HAPPY CIA AGENT, you get the credits for that one:D**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**.


	7. Nobody’s home

**No mats reviews sinds the last chap. Thank God Me-Loves-Orli is still here, luvzz ye! Yer the best!**

**Disclaim: I don't own anything of OUATIM, I just borrow stuff. Only Lizz and the fluff-dog ar mine.**

_**She want's to go home, and nobody's home  
that's where she lies, broken inside  
with no place to go, no lace to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside**_

**Chapter 7) Nobody's home. **

So there he sat ,The Big Bad CIA agent Sands, in the shadow, god knows where, with his only company a little girl. And a DOG, don't forget the fucking dog. For some strange reason the girly had packed the dog in her bag, AND even packed a bag. Sands had no idea why. And asking was out of the question , because he just didn't give a damm.

He sighed. It was just to quite here. No cars, no little kids running around, no shooting men ,even the bird where quit. Just four day's ago this would be heaven. But now he was blind, it was horrible. He wanted to know what the girl was doing, were they were, if the car was still smoking. Hell he even wanted to know how HE looked liked.

So finally after several minutes in silent he asked the girl a question. "Hey, girl, what did those 'gangsters' whant frome you anyway?"

The girl was shocked fore a moment. For a couple of second she was quiet. "I gess I can tell you now."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz looked at the ground. She didn't know how to begin her story. Exactly she didn't what to tell her story. She looked at Sands, how looked interested to her direction. CRAPE, no she hade to tell it.

She stroke her hair out of her face and started to tell.

"I was born in New York, lived in a nice family. My dad was a Mexican and my mom was a real New Yorker. Everything went well, 'till my mom started to drink. A LOT. On day , I think I was about five, I found a note on the dinner table. It was from my dad, he left us… me, with my mom, how started to drink, more and more."

"My world was started to fall a part, I didn't get mats attention from my mom, and if she did mostly she was so drunk she couldn't even walk straight. But on day , I was about thirteen, she luckily found some guy, how could handle her and finally my life started to get better."

"To bad, I thought wrong again. After a willed my new stepfather started to like me, a little to mats. I told my mom but she didn't believe me, or didn't want to believe me. She called me a dirty little slut and kicked me out of the house."

"That first night on the street. I had no place to go, I was so fucking lost, I was sure I would kill myself .I had some money left from my work as a waiters, so I could buy some pills. I even bought the fucking pills. But then something hit me in the face. I wouldn't let that bastard win! No way! I was ganna get some revenge."

"I'm very good with computer you know. I mean really good! I already deleted some files from my school, and hacked a polices station for four days. So I hacked my stepfathers computer, broke in his bank accounted an stole some money. And after that I got on the first bus to Mexico, the land of the thief's."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands listed quietly to the girl her story. Disturbed, he question himself why this story didn't surprised him. Somehow it made some kind of sends. He already know that the girl was total nuts. I mean she HELPED ME!ME! So being a computer hacker, owh why not?

"So how many money did you stole?" Sands asked.

The girl swallowed. " Thirteen point eight million dollar"

Sands mouth dropped open. No wonder her step dad send 'gangsters' after her. She stole a fucking fortune! Off coures the girl had all right to steel it, but still, 13.8 million dollar was a LOT OF MONEY!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz looked nervous at the CIA cop, how was total silent now. Who shit, why did she tell him this? She hadn't told this to any one else, so why him! Why, OF AL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, did she tell HIM! He would probably force her to give him the money, or take her back to here stepfather hoping for a BIG reword, or kill her! WHO NOW SHE WAS IN TROUBLE!

But then she looked at him again, and he looked different. His face was wet from sweat, on his left cheek was a cut but somehow he looked not so tense anymore. She smile an saw her reflection in his sunglasses. Strange she looked different two. She wasn't that scared little girl anymore, she was changes.

"Woh". Sands finally said, still in shock. "That's a lot of money sugerbutts."

"I know." Lizz answered. "That bastard picked the wrong girl to mess with." Here voice was calm but bittert on the same time. HE REALLY DID, she thought.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands grinned. This girl WAS different then the rest of the howl feminalgeneration. She helped him instead of leave him, like about everyone in his miserable little life. And she didn't asked anything back. That was weird. Why would you help some one, if you didn't need to? He couldn't remember doing that kind of thing for nothing. IF he helped some one it was because HE needed to. To get information, to get even or fore money offcourse.

But the girl, that little girly girl, didn't needed money, or information. So why did she helped him? He really didn't get it.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Finally the sun when'd down and so did the temperature. Soon it begun to get very cold. Shivering Lizz walked along a sandy road, holding Sands wrist. She looked over her shoulder at him. His face didn't gave away anything but the way he walked said enough. His movement was tense and walking was very hard fore him.

Men, that guy is so stubborn, but somehow she admired him. You must be a strong person to stay walking when your body is tearing apart, just to keep your proud.

After a half mile she almost had to drag with her. She didn't know Sands to well ,but she DID KNOW he would walk to hell before he would admit he wanted a break. She rolled with her eyes, stupid men!

"Let's take a break now okay?" She asked very sweet, hoping Sands wouldn't be his stubborn self.

"What ever." Was his thankfull answer. They both sad down on the Mexican sand.

"So, how long do we stay here?" Sands asked.

"Dunnow" Lizz answerd.

"You, DON'T KNOW! What does that mean!" Sands yelled.

"That I DON'T KNOW how long we stay here! I'm just sixteen years alright! I'm JUST a little girl! I'M NO SMART,GROWN-UP WOMEN WHO KNOW EVERYTHING! So DON'T act like I AM!" Lizz yelled back, very annoyed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands didn't expected that kind of answer. "BITCH!" He shouted back.

"NICE, do you feel better now you sad that!" Lizz asked sarcastically. "Calling a little girl a bitch, Whoo, good for you!"

"You know for suds a little girl, you have a really snappy mouth!" A bullet throw her little head started to sound very nice at the moment, Sands thought

"Well, with a alcoholic mother, a run-away dad and nasty step dad you really have to!" The girl said back. After that Sands didn't know what to say back and stared to ignore her.

Stupid girl. She talked like she is the only kid on the planed with a bad youth. With her 'run-away dad'. Like THAT was so bad. No, having a DAD, that was bad. Thank good he had thank care of that part of his life a long time ago. Thank god he had-

"So how do you think I look like?" The girl asked suddenly, probably because she was bored.

Sands immediately watched his step. He decided to react the way he always did. Dominant and sarcastic. "What kind of fucking question is THAT! I'm blind, REMEMBER! I CAN'T SEE ANYMORE!"

"Alright, relax men, I just aske." She hushed. "And being blind, doesn't mean, you don't have fantasy. C'mon, how do I look!" She asked on a very childish voice.

WAS this kid insane! Or DID she had a DEADWISH! Didn't she GET she was on thin ice? HE WAS FUCKING DANGEROUSE! So why did she ask those annoying questions, she no he didn't COULD answer! Is she wouldn't be the only way out of this desert, she would be laying dead on the ground with a bullet throw her head!

Sands felt in his pocket, he still had a gun… He could kill her. What had he left to life for? No family. No kids, thank god. No girlfriend. No not even a job. Slowly he took his gun out of his pocket.

"LOOK A TRUCK!" The girl screamed. Immediately Sands putted his gun back. He could hear the sounds of a very old truck, with probably a problematic engine.

"THANK GOD! WHERE SAVED!" The girl scream cheerful.

Sands head jerked up. "Don't scream like you're insane! Go hitch-hiking!"

He heard the girl curs softly. But thankfully listed to him and walked to the road.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Ingratamente a pedazos come!" Lizz cursed. It would be nice is that guy said something nice or positive. But NOOO, that was to mats to asked! And a little bit of trust in her would be nice to! Lizz stood on the middle of the road. No way she was letting here only chance of surviving pass!

Briefly she look over here shoulder at Sands, how was getting paler by the minute.

How valuably could some one's proud be? The first time she looked at him she was scared. But now, the way he looked she felt so mats sorry fore him. He played a great character, being mister-deadly-killing-and-sarcastic. The way he talked about his blindness. Like he didn't give a damm. He was a great layer, so good she almost believe him. But throw al his sarcasm, there was pain. She wasn't stupid, she could heard is some one was laying. She had lied pretty mats her whole life herself.

The truck stopped in front of her. Lizz was sure the guy would drive over her. Who would stop for them? Sands looked like a serial killer with a toothache and she, well she looked like crap herself.

"Quiere usted a una chica del paseo?" The driver asked, with a friendly I'm-smoking-since-I-was-twelve-voice.

He looked like a nice guy. He was around fifth, had a little bit of overweight and hade black-grey hare.

"Si,SI!" Lizz answered quickly, afraid the guy would drive away if she didn't said something.

"Quién es eso?" The driver asked, frowning when he looked at Sands.

"Eso es mi novio." Immediately she regret what she said. Like anyone would believe that a little girl like herself had a boyfriend from that age. Like she would pick him!

But the drive seems to buy it. He looked a little bit confused dough, but nodded. "Ahora, delantero pero, el salto pero en la espalda".

Lizz smile. Thank god, this meant they didn't have to die in the dessert. "Hace donde usted va?" She asked to be sure.

"A mi hogar, si usted quiere que usted pueda permanecer ther hasta mañana". The driver pointed to north.

"Sí, por favor, si usted no tener inconveniente en!" Lizz smiled even more. Maybe thing would turn right this time. Ones again she thanked the driver and hurry back to Sands.

"I fixed us a rid." She screamed, still very happy and proud of herself. The agent looked at her. "I'm BLIND remember! NOT DEAF! Stubit lill…" Carefully he tryd to get op.

"You're alright?" Lizz asked watching him very closly.

Sands was standing. "YEAH, I'm great. Just take me to that frinking truck!"

Lizz expected a reaction like this and didn't even bother to answer, that would be meaningless. And she was scared that IF the driver would see Sands screaming like a madmen, treating to kill her or something, the man would drive away. What was very logical. She would do exactly the same.

Quickly she graphed Sands wrist and pulled him to the backsides of the car. She almost had to drag him inside and she discovered he wasn't so light as she hoped.

Lizz noticed it was a sheep truck. Threehunderd lazy looking eyes stared at her. Luckily I'm not allergic for wool, she thought.

"FUCKING BASTARD!" Screamed Sands next to her. "Ther is some one with us in the truck!" Sands was pointing his gun at a supid looking sheep before him. Lizz grinned. "Relax, it's just a sheep."

"A WHAT!"

"A SHEEP! You know? White animal, fluffy and cuddly?" Lizz answered.

Sands putted his gun back in his pocked. "Yes I KNOW what a sheep is. I'm not stubit you know? I was just surprised that you found suds a lousy rid! A fucking sheeptruck, C'mon couldn't you find something with more class? I'm a CIA agent remember?"

Ones again sounded killing him so good. To bad Lizz had a conscience. But even a conscience wasn't enough to shut her mouth. "You're right, Sands, I better had waited for a garbage vehicle or so. That's more your class. Now shut up and sit down!"

Sands didn't move a ins. " Don't tell me what I should do. Do that again and I'll shout you!" Lizz just stared at him and sat down. The truck started driving and Sands lost his balance and fell on a sheep.

Lizz started to laugh and Sands tried to get up. When he finally succeeded he looked in her direction. "That's not the way to treed you're boyfriend you know!" Lizz mouth dropped and her cheeks started to get red. Sands grinned mean. "C'mon don't be embarrassed, it's not so strange that you can't resist me. Not many girls can."

Lizz cursed herself fore being so stupid to forget Sands could understand Spanish. "Don't fancy yourself so mats mister. If I didn't said that you would still be sitting in the middle of nowhere, freezing your head of."

Sands gave her a sharp look. "And who says where not going to the middle of nowhere? Are you really so naïve to trust the first Mexican driver you see!"

Lizz started to shiver and looked out of the truck window. Shit, WAS the driver really suds a nice guy?"

**Yes a terrible ending and a terrible chap. I know but don't hate me I tried the best I could. English is just so mats harden then I thought. But anyway if you two think it that bad, please revieuw an TRY to tell it in a nice way. **

**And if you think it's any good you can tell me two. **

**Quiere usted a una chica del paseo: Whould you like a rid little girl?**

**Quién es eso: And who is that? **

**eso es mi novio: That's my boyfriend**

**Ahora, delantero pero, el salto pero en la espalda: Well, alright. Jump in the truck than. **

**Hace donde usted va: Wher ar you going?**

**A mi hogar, si usted quiere que usted pueda permanecer ther hasta mañana".Home, if you like you can stay 'till tomorrow. **

**Sí, por favor, si usted no tener inconveniente en: Yes, i love to, if you don't mind. **

**_A want to thanks Avril Lavine for writhing the song: Nobody's Home. I was listening it when I was writhing Lizz her life story. I wanted to putt pieces of the song somewhere in this chap but I didn't really fit. _**


	8. Never doubted that

**Manny thanks for ****boydsmagic421****. You're the best. Thanks to you I WILL continue this story. **

**Chapter 8) Never doubted that. **

Every second Lizz got more nervous. What would happened to her? Maybe the drive was some kind of serial killer, or some fucked up guy who was hired by her stehpdad. Why had Sands have to say that to her? Now she was scared to death. She sighted and try to look outside the truck. When that didn't workout she started to observe Sands.

He seemed to look shittyer by the minute. Blood was dripping for the cut on his cheek and he was still to pale. And-

Her thought were cut off by Sands angry voice. "Could you please STOP looking at me. I'm finn, so FUCK OFF!"

Lizz looked fast away to a sheep. Who did he do that? Who could he know I was looking at him? Could he be psychic? Nop, that isn't possible, right?

Before she could think of a more realistic explanation the truck stopped driving and the doors flew open. A little bit shaking she jumped out of the truck and looked around.

In front of her that stood a sweet little Mexican farm. The one how stands on postcard. With a small courtyard and a shed for the animals. Lizz sighted in relieve. This couldn't be bad. She smile at the now really nice looking driver.

"So where are we!" It sounded out of the truck, so uninterested as possible.

"It's alright Sherlock Holmes. Were on a sweet little frame. Not a killer to bee seen."

"You're sure? I don't want my ass kicked like before! And I swear IF that happened again it will be you're fault, and you will pay!" Sands said, not so friendly.

"Yes,yes, I know you will kill me, men you starting to get lame." She grabbed Sands wrist. "Now c'mon I don't want to stand here whole night because you are to scared to get out of this truck."

Sands mumbled something, probably the way he would kill her, but let himself willingly get helped out of the truck.

"Sígame, yo le mostraré mi casa" The driver said. He walked up to the farm and opened the front door. Lizz followed with Sands and walked into a small kitchen with yellow walls and white tile. At the diner table sat a old lady how smiled friendly to Lizz.

"Where are we now?" Sands asked anxious, leaning against the wall and breathing heavily. Lizz didn't noticed and looked fascinated at the room.

"Where in a small kitchen, with a nice looking lady and-"

Again he cut her off. "Yes, yes spare me the details. Just get us out of her, I want to sit and relax a little and I don't want two foolish farmers around me!" He voice sounded nervous, surprisingly to Lizz.

"Whatever." She whispered back. She wasn't in to mood to fight with Sands, and the two farmers would kicked them out of there house for sure if they did fight. "Deberá acostarse bien? Nosotros nos somos cansados muy " Lizz asked polite.

The driver frowned. "Sí, pero usted no quiere comer primero?"

Lizz wanted to say yes. But Sands was faster. "No, nosotros ya comimos." He say fast, still standing against the wall.

Lizz gave him a mean look, knowing it was pointless. Why did he suddenly do the talking? She was starving! She wanted to eat something. But it was to late for that. The driver already stood up and pointed at there room.

Lizz nodded, thanked again an pulled Sands to the door of there room. " Well thank you very mats, I'm starving! Why did you said we already ate! Do you think its funny to let me starve! Or do you just lie to every person you meet!"

Sands pointed his good arm up. "Shut up, open the god dam door, and then fuck off, I'm not in the mood of you're whining."

Lizz gave him a mad look and opened the door. They walked in a nice cosy room. It was reasonable large and hade even a own toilet and shower. Something that in Mexico was considered as a luxury. It had light yellow walls and a dark wooden floor. There was just on problem: A two-person bed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands was standing next to the girl. He had truly NO IDEA where he was. But he didn't want to look helpless, that could be dangerous. Never show you're weakness. NEVER. That was the CIA's first rule. Rule number two was never trust anyone. He broke rule number two ONE time, and after what happed he would NEVER break this rule again.

So right now he was in control. He didn't look weak, maybe hurt but NOT weak. He was calm, and he didn't trust the girl. He was safe right now. "So where the fuck are we!" He asked uninterested and annoyed.

"We are in a bedroom. Pretty big. Nice colours, a own bathroom and ehh… a two-personbed." The girl said a couple of centimetres aside.

"I don't have any problems with that." He smirked. Very careful he walked into the room, hoping the bed was close. Fuck, he field bad. Like he was hit by a train ore something. His legs felt like they could fall of and second. His left arm just hurting, no big deal, this pain wasn't to bad, nothing he never lived throw before.

But his eyes, or what was left of them. That was on HELL of a other story. It field like his head were on fire, and his sockets where itching and, OWH FUCK it just hurt like hell.

"Whatever. "The girl sad. "I'm going to take a shower." Footsteps walked away and a door opened an closed.

Finally! He was alone! He breathe uneasy. Carefully he walked further into the room, hoping to find the bed. After a couple of steps his right hand thoughts the edge of the bed. Without taking is shoes of he lie down on the bed. Everything started to spin. And was it so cold in this room, or was it just him?

Slowly he moved his sunglasses. He took a deep breathe and felt below it. He felt scars who would never go way. After that there was emptiness. Just emptiness, the place where ones his eye had bin.

Fuck, he wanted to cry that moment.

It hit him, hard. He couldn't do that anymore. CRY. He couldn't, anymore. Who ironic actually. A option he never had use in his whole life. As hard as his had bin, he couldn't think of one moment he had cried. Even as a kid he couldn't remember any whining. Not when is dad beat the crap out of him, not when is mom left him, not when he got shoot for the first time, not when is first girlfriend broke up.

He never felt the urges to cry. He felt always to proud do something so girly. Until now. Now one of his most important senses where ripped out, in lesser then three minutes. The three most painful minutes of his life.

Why his eye's? Why not break his legs? Or cut his tong out? Or why couldn't they just blow his head of! That would make everything so mats easier.

"Yeah, you're alright?" A girly voice asked.

Apparently he had bin so sunken in his thought the girl had finished showering and came back in the room, and he didn't heard it. He almost dropped his sunglasses. Fast he putted his sunglass back on, hoping the girl hadn't noticed anything.

"Yeah, hello? Are you okay?" Footsteps came closer. Owh, FUCK, didn't wanted this at all. He wanted to be left alone. "I'm finn." He answered fast, hoping the girl would take the hint and go away.

"No, you're not. Don't lie to me. I'm not stupid and I don't like it when people lie to me." Again her footsteps came closer. "Let me see."

Sands felt a hand on his jaw. Immediately he back off. "What the fuck is wrong with you! I tolt you I was finn!"

"Stop being a baby for five minutes!" It's sounded sharp out of the darkness. "Trust me for ones, en let me see!"

Two voices started to argue in his head. One kind voice told him to trust the girl. One other loud, mean voice told him to shoot the girl and burn the house down. He didn't like the second voice, it was to pushing and forcing.

He was tired, he wanted to be alone and sleep and dream, what mend seeing stuff. So if that meant to scare the shit out the girl by putting his glasses of, that would be fin with him.

Slowly he removed his sunglass off. Any second now there would be a big 'AAAAH, FREAK! I'M GOING TO THROW UP' sound and the girl would run away. She would be right tow. He was a freak, always bin, now just easier to recognize.

Only there didn't came a scream, or a vomiting sound. He felt her weight moving close to him and body heat. SHIT, why was she still here? And WHY so fucking close! He didn't want to admit it to himself, but right now he was scared.

"You're sockets are very inflame and swollen." She whispered.

He felt a soft touch just above his cheek.

"Do you feel this!" She asked softly.

Quick Sands turned his head. It felt like she was sticking a knife in his skull. "Yes." He answered numb.

"Okay, wait where, I'm back in a sec." Footsteps hurried away.

Sands relaxed and took a relieved breathe. This wasn't so bad. She didn't treat him like a freak, ore screamed when she saw his face.

After a few second the girl was back and stood next to him. "Lie down and relax, this will sting a little but will help against the swelling and infections." Sands lied down and tried not to scream when she touched him. His hand turned into fist. If this would take mats longer he would-

Slowly the pain flew away. Sands field relieved and eased. The itching around his sockets where minimum. He grinned. "So that was al! I thought you said something about sting. This didn't hurt a bit!"

"Good." The girl said. "Cause I have to do that again."

Sands' smile disappeared. "Thanks for telling me, I feel so relieved right now…" He turned his head to the other side and hope the girl would go now he was 'better'.

But she had some other plans. She was still close to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. " Did you recently bumped into something? Because you got one big bump above you're right eyebrow."

Sands remember the first five minutes after the 'operation'. He had found the little boy, let him guide him and smacked his head against some low balcony. Right then he forced his body to walk further, but now the girl mention it, it hurt bad. He nodded.

"Then you might have a light brain-concussion. Do you feel dizzy ore something?" She asked.

"Uhuh." Was the only thing Sands could said. Was it so hard to understand that he wanted to be alone? And NOT getting torture by dozens of questions!

"I think the best thing we can do is to drive to a hospital tomorrow morning. You are in a bad condition and there isn't mats I can do."

After the word 'hospital' Sands immediately sit up. "I NOT going to any hospital! I'm not sick, maybe a little hurt, but NOT sick!"

The girl pushed him back on the bed. "Tjeez, relax, it's just a suggestion! What's you're problems with hospitals anyway!"

_Flashback_

_White walls, White floors, White men everywhere. Slowly he walked down a hall not knowing what to expect. Who had happened to her? Why was she here? She wasn't sick, and this place was only for sick people. People who would die soon. He didn't like it here, he wanted to go back home, back to his safe room, play with his toys and let her make chocolate milk for him, like she always did if he was a good boy. _

"_Sheldon Sands!" A voice spook to him. Quickly he turned around to see a white man behind him. "Y-yes?" He answered not knowing what to expect. _

"_Sheldon, I have some bad news fore you…"_

_End Flashback._

"Hello? Am I talking to my dog or something! Could you please act like you're still alive? It's scary if you just lie still like that!"

Slowly he shook his head. "Stupid flashback." He whispered.

"What did you say?" The girl asked curios.

He rubbed his head. Shit, did he say that out loud? "Nothing, just, never mind." He picked his sunglass up and wanted to put it back on. But the girl stopped him.

"You can better sleep without that thing to night. You might damage something… more. Wait for a moment." For a moment the only sound he could heard was the sound of ripping clothes.

"I'll tie this around you're head, and don't worry it isn't pink or fluffy. It's black I swear on pain of death." Carefully she bounded the soft material around his head. "So, that should do the trick."

"Uhu." Was the only thing he could say. He felt ashamed. He was never the type that need help. He was always the guy how would take care of things. He liked it that way, being in control. Having the power, with meant being safe.

Slowly he pushed the girl away.

"What wrong? Did I hurt you ore something?" She asked quick.

"No, it's just…"He didn't know what to answer. "I'm finn."

"Alrighty then." She jumped of the bed and walked away.

Confused Sands tried to get up. "Where are you going?"

It was silent for a couple of seconds. "I'm… going to feed Killerbee."

He took enough with the answered and footsteps hurried away. He kicked his shoes out, pulled out his t-shirt and carefully removed his half ripped pants. With only his boxer on he laid back on the bed. He felt so mats better. Not only because his sockets stopped itching, but also because the girl didn't react like he was a freak. He wondered if he still looked hot with his sunglasses on.

Familiar footsteps came near. Strangely that you could recognize someone 's steps. He never know that. Off course that wasn't so strange. What lunatic would listen to footstep if you could turn around and look them in the face. FUCKING BLINDNESS!

Suddenly she stopped walking right in front of the bed. "You're ganna sleep like that!" She asked disturbed.

He looked up. "Well, yeah, actually. Sleeping when you're wearing leather pants when its one hundred and thirteen degrees isn't suds a good idea if I may say so." He grinded. "Or do you have a problem with this!"

"Well, sarcastic bastard, if you're stepfather like you to mats sins you where fourteen, it isn't so tempting to lie next to a half naked guy, capise!" Her voice sounded angry, but with a scared undertone. Odd you didn't need eye's to know exactly what somebody was thinking.

"Owh ,right." Was his 'brilliant' answer. He grabbed his T-shirt from next to the bed and pulled it back on. "Better?"

"I'll gess." She answered coldly. Sands felt weight movement on the bed and he know the girl was lying on the edge of the bed. "If you try to do something." Her voice try to sound threading but was nervous. " I'm mean anything… I have a gun right next to me… and… I swear, I know how to use it!"

Sands only nodded. He didn't blame the girl, she had absolutely no rezone to trust him. He turned so he was lie with his back to the girl. At the same time he heard breathing relax. He turned a little back to look in her direction.

She was with no dough the craziest chick alive. Sleeping in lesser the a minute next to some fucked up killer. He sight. He wonder if she trusted him a little. If she did she had to cut that out. He would kill her as soon as he was safe back in a city.

But what would he do next? Go back to the U.S? To the CIA? If he did, they would probably lock him up in a mental institution for the rest of his life. He could see himself sitting in a straightjacket, drugged with medication mumbling about talking to Santa Claus.

Quick he shook the horribly thought away. Maybe the best thing he could do was stick with the girl, until he had a plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Lizz woke up in the middle of a dream. She had dream she got wings and flew higher and higher. Until she felt save. She looked over the Mexican country. Everything looked so calm and peaceful. Suddenly some one was shouting at her. She tried to fly away but realized her wings disappeared. She started to fall down. The world came closer and closer.

BHAM

She woke up next to the bed. She rubbed her head and stud up. It took a few seconds to get used to the dark. To her surprise Sands' side of the bed was empty. Without further thinking she picked up her gun and checked the ammo.

Silently she walked further into the room. Still no Sands. Where was he up to? IF he was trying to scare her, it was working. SHIT! Where was he? A blind tortured man can't just walk away, can he? Maybe he did. If he could kill men without vision he probably could do this to.

Suddenly she felt cold are in he neck. She turned around and saw him sitting in the window-frame. "What on earth are you doing!" She whispered.

It took him a moment to respond. He turned a little so he looked at her. "Couldn't sleep, needed fresh air."

"Couldn't sleep two." She explained. He grinned a little and turned back. Somehow seemed he looked to the stars.

Lizz walked a little bit closer to him. "How did you know there was a window?"

His right hand turned into a fist. "Christ! If some one is blind I doesn't naturally means his stupid."

"I didn't say you were stupid, I just asked how you did find the window." She said, knowing she had to watch her step.

He relaxed a little. "I followed the wind. I figure this was a old farm, so the windows wouldn't close good anymore. I CAN take care of myself you know!"

She nodded. "I know, never doubted that."

**Crappy ending again. But I wanted to finish this chp before going to school. I'm sure some words or lines will be wrong. Spare me for that please. **

**sígame, yo le mostraré mi casa: follow me, I will show you my house**

**Deberá acostarse bien? Nosotros nos somos cansados muy: Is it alright to go to bed? We are very tired**

**Sí, pero usted no quiere comer primero: Yes, but wouldn't you like to eat something first?**

**Anyway thanks for reading and PLEASE do review. Every time I'm posting a chap of this story and think it sucks. So if it really, I mean REALLY sucks please try to tell me, in a nice way.**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	9. Daydreaming

**Dunno if I have to warn for this but it isn't going to be a happy-chap. Pretty dark. Little flashback for Sands yought, not much but enough.**

**Chapter 7)Daydreaming. **

Waking up was the worsted moment of the day. It was the moment his dream, the images disappeared and got replaced for eternal darkness. Every morning it scared the living shit out of him to see the people, the places just… disappeared. Not that his dream were very fun. Reliving the three minutes of unbearable pain EVERY GODDAMME NIGHT, getting tortured by his past. Not very comforting…

But sometimes he dreamed pleasant things. Things he always had taken fore granted. Going to a bar, looking at a good-looking niña. Or walking over the local market, looking at the goods, at the houses. He missend that the most. And every morning he realised that again.

This morning was just like that. Slowly he woke up, his mind screaming _something wrong, no sight, NO SIGHT!. _His body sore, covered of bruises, cuts and bullet-wounds. Disappointed he try to sense where he was.

A warm Mexican breeze stoke over hise face. Owh, fuck he fallen asleep in the window-frame. Very smart. IF some one wanted to kill him he has open target. Again finked the thought in he head: _Would dyeing be a bad thing? _Quick he hushed the thought and stepped back in the room. But the toughed wasn't finished yet. _Sheldon, think, would dyeing be a bad idea? What have he left to live fore sick little piece of…_

"SHUT UP!" Sands screamed, holding his head with his hands. CHRIST was it so much to let him be? He stood in this position for a minute, after that he listed hard. It was gone. He sighted in relieve. Good thing the girl didn't see this.

Cursing himself for using the word SEE again he walked to the bed. Never mind her, she wasn't imported to worry about. He wippend the sweat of his forehead. How could she sleep in here? Even with the window whole night open it was a sauna in here.

He reached the bed looking fore his pants, or what was left of them. His hand explored the floor, feeling his T-shirt, his shoes and finally his pant. HE.WAS.GOOD. Even without his eye's he could find his own clothes. A little step forward to independency!

Filled with joy he putted his pants on. The leather material made him feel like the REAL CIA cop he had bin.

WAS! He still was!

And don't let anyone say the deferens! He was still very dangerous. even without vision he killed ten men, no wait, twelve!

Maybe he had a little help from the girl, but HE DID IT! She was only his eye's nothing more. And she helped him escape from her house, and drove the car, and fixed them a rid, and tended his wounds.

Now he was thinking about it, he hadn't done a god dame think. Yes, shooting like madmen, but nothing more. His smirk disappeared. Where was she anyway?

He sat silent on the bed and tried to focus. It remained silent in the room. Not a single sound, only his own breathing. I didn't make any sense. He couldn't remember a moment when she left him without telling where she went. Well, on time she did when he made he cry.

So where was she? And where was the fucking fluff-dog? He didn't heard the dog either.

He stood up and walked across the room to the bathroom. He opened the door and yelled her name a couple of times. But no answer. Sands started to get annoyed. WHERE WAS SHE! Maybe she run away when he as asleep.

No, that wasn't a very smart move. 'Gansters' where hunting her, and he was the only on how could kill them. She wasn't that stupid to run away from the only guy how could protect her.

He closed the bathroom-door again and asked himself what was the most logical explanation for her disappears.

Then he heard a soft ticking sound. What the fuck was that? He listend again. It sounded like it came for the wall. Slowly he touched the wall. He took a few steps and fled a door-handle. There was another room! She didn't tell him that…

Without thinking he opened the door and walked inside. "HEY, GIRLY YOU'RE HERE!"

The ticking sound stopped. "Y-yeah, im here."

Something was wrong with here voice. Something was VERY WRONG, but he couldn't tell WHAT was wrong.

"What the fuck is going on! Why didn't you tell me there was another room here! Why didn't you answered me when I called you! And WHAT THE HELL are you doing!" Sands screamed furious.

"N-nothing important, just typing some stuff on my laptop. C-checking my email. N-nothing else!" Here breathing accelerated when she spook as if something frightened here. And her voice sounded WAY to shivery. Something was defiantly wrong, but what!

Carefully he took another step into the room.

"No, don't!" She said quick. "DON'T walk any furter!"

Immediately he stopped walking.

"Don't" She said again. "Sands, could you please get me something from my bag? I mean a cd disk. It's VERY important, and I REALLY need it now. Please, GET IT!"

Sands nodded. Every idiot could tell she didn't needed a disk. He stood total silence. He focused on the sounds in the room, but couldn't hear anything else expect from his breathing, and the girl's. "Sure, I'll get you you're disk. No problem."

Slowly he walked back to the door. Every step he had the feeling someone would stab him in his back. When he reached the door he listened again. Still nothing.

He walked to here side of the bed and sat down on his knees. He felt around the bed found clothes, half-eaten snickers, small screws, a walled and finally a bag. He reached into the bag and felt could metal. No doubt, a gun. So there WAS some-one else in the room…

"Fuck ,fuck ,fuck" He whispered. Very silently he stood up, putting the gun in his belt on the right side.

Again, only this time very alert, he walked to the door. He stay standing in the doorway. "Eyh, girly, what time is it?" Praying she would GET the hint.

He heard her sight. "I-it's exactly two o'clock!"

He smirked. "Thanks sweetheart." Fast he pulled his gun and shoot.

"SHIT!" a frightened men voice shouted.

Sands smirk grow bigger and looked at his direction. " Men, you are a stupid one!" Immediately he pulled the trigger again, and again.

The guy was screaming and tried to pull his gun too, but failed. The girl was screaming, bullets flew everywhere, glass form the laptop smashed into pieces. But Sands didn't care. He kept shooting untill his gun was emty.

Not knowing what he would do next he stood in the middle of the mess he made. Everything got silent except for the sobbing girl and his own heavily breathing. The guy COULD be dead. But the bastard also could remain very silent. The fucker knew he as blind.

"Hey, girl, is that guy dead! He spook trying to make his voice stop trembling. His legs started to shake and his head hurt like hell. Memo to myself: Pain and stress not a good mix.

After a few second there was still no answer, except for the sobbing. He started to get VERY pissed off. Was it so FUCKING HARD to just answer a question! He was risking his sorry life for her! So answering was the least she could do!

"I asked you a question, ANSWER GODDAMME IT!" He scream frustrated.

She started t cry. "YES, HE'S DEAD ALRIGHT! Now go away and leave me ALONE! You men are all the same! Always hurting ,screaming , beating and killing!" She tried to get her breathing under control. "That bastard killed Killerbee! She was just a little puppy…"

Sands threw if gun on the floor. He stroke through his hair. He didn't know how the react. _Sheldon, leave that slut alone. Walk away, find a loaded a gun and shoot her. __She nothing. YOU HEAR ME! NOTHING! She will leave you anyway… _It was the sarcastic demanding voice he hated, but was always there.

But there was still another voice. A voice he tried to gag. He was ashamed of that voice. It was to caring and sweet. _Don't stand there like that, go help that poor girl. Did you forget how you felt, being there alone? With no one to talk to, with no one how would care for you? Did you forget what it was when he-_

He held his head with his hands. "Please, don't!" He whispered.

The other voice came back. This time louder, colder. _Don't be so dam pityfull, she just a girl! A stupid girl! And what did I tell you about girls! THERE. ALL. BAD! THEY. WILL.ALL. LEAVE.YOU! Just like you're mommy and all the girl's you dated. Sooner ore later everyone leaves you. And you know why? Because you're WEAK, Sheldon, WEAK! _ He could almost feel the punch in his face. _YOU'RE SO WEAK…_

NEVER SHOW YOU'RE WEAKNESS.

But Sands didn't feel weak, not anymore. Not since the day he killed his first men, his daddy-o. The big fuckmook himself. The bad evil man how had made him feel his whole goddame life.

Who had hurt him. Until he turned eighteen until he bought a pair of black leather glows. Until he pulled the trigger with a sarcastic smile on his face, looking at his dead father knowing that he wouldn't be the last guy he would kill.

And the strangest thing was he hadn't felt ANY regret or guild. He had felt relieved and some sick kind of happiness. Form that moment he known he could take care of himself. He had to. And he WOULD. He would never feel weak again. NEVER!

Slowly Sands came back to earth. "Those flashback's. Those fucking flashbacks…"

**I'm dieing to know what people think of this Sands. I Don't know If you get the flashback. ( if you can call it that…) If you don't review me, I WILL work on it. And if you do get is, PLEASE review too!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	10. The power of the past

**Many many thanks for the people who have reviewed. **

**Disclame: Yes ever chap I forget to do this. Well, the real rezone is I HATE to say this. But before Disney sows me here it goose: I don't any thing from OUATIM not Sands, no nothing. **

**Note) This chap has very many POV changes. I don't know if it's clear who's who. If not tell me.**

**Warning) theirs a little flashback frome Sands past. It's not a very nice one, so if you don't like it, stop reading it. **

**And yes, the title is lame, I know…**

**Chapter 10) The power of the past.**

Lizz stopped sobbing. Frightened she looked from her dead dog to the dead man how is still bleeding. The guy looked back at her with hollow eyes. Her stomach started to come up. quickly she looked away, at Sands.

"I hated you!" She manages to say.

He didn't move but started smirking. "Like I care."

She bit her lip, again tears filled here eye's. "This is al YOU'RE fault! I wish I'd never found you!"

He took a package of cigarettes from pocket, lighted on and started smoking. "That make two of us." And he walked away.

Furious Lizz run after him. " YOU BASTARD, BECAUSE OF YOU I LOST MY HOUSE,MY SAFTY AND MY DOG! YOU FUCKING…" She stopped screaming and looked at the living room door. It was half open and covert with blood. "O my god…"

"What? What wrong!" She got Sands attention. He pulled his gun. "Say something!"

Lizz couldn't answer, only look. Slowly she walked to the door. She didn't want to see what was behind it, but she had to. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she opened the door.

Blood covert the carpet, the chair and pieces of the wall. On the ground lied the old women wearing a white dress, now red. Shoot three times. In the back, the coward. Against the wall was the man, on hand on his heart one on a pistol, trying to defend his wife and himself. Shot in his temple. Blood was dripping out of his mouth.

Lizz stood there, holding herself to the door. She was in total shook. It wasn't like she never seen a dead body, but this, this was to…to, she couldn't find words to describe this.

Her legs failed her and she dropped on her knees, tears run down her face. "My god…" A sick feeling filled her stomach. "Owh, fuck… this is my fault, all my fault…"

A strong hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. "What's going on!" Sands asked forcing holding a gun in his other hand. "What the fuck is going on! SAY SOMETHING!" His grip went more powerful.

Lizz looked at Sands for a moment. Again the whole sad puppy from last night was gone. The big bad was back, now pointing a gun at her. Most people would shitting there pant right now, but Lizz wasn't one of those people. She felt to guilty and lost right now.

"There dead, and it's my fault." She started to cry incapable of stopping. She didn't care Sands would make fun of her. "It's my fault, they helped me and because of me there DEAD!" She held her hands for her face. "My fault…"

"Yes,yes, you're a very bad girl." Sands said sounding annoyed. He pointed the gun at her head. "Now, find the car keys."

Lizz didn't even mind looking at the gun, here eye's only looked at his dark sunglasses. "Who can you be so cold and cruel! These people helped us! If it wasn't for them we would died!"

Sands grinded. "Honey, do I LOOK like I care!"

That was enough! Who dared he be so careless about those people! She pulled loose from his grip gave him a push so the gun wasn't aiming at her and slapped him in the face. Sands dropped his gun and took a step back.

Sands was just as surprise of her action as Lizz herself. Sands turned to her. "Owh, luv, you are ganna regret this!"

Fast he bend down feeling around for his gun. Lizz came out of her shook and jump at the gun. But before she hit the ground Sands hands found the gun. Everything went very quick after that.

Sands pointed the gun against her temple. He smiled devilish. "Girly,girly, you should know by now NEVER mess with me!" With his left hand he grabbed her jaw. "UP!" And without waiting for a answer he dragged her up her feet.

"No, be so kind and look for the carkeys." Sands asked very sweet. Lizz didn't feel very much to search the entire house but looking at the alternative…

"S-so, where should I look?" Lizz asked frightened by the look on Sands face.

"Most, people have there carkeys in there pocket, so think where should the hillbilly farmer keep his key's!" It wasn't a question to her but a order. He dragger her to the dead farmer. Lizz started to scream. Only the taught touching the man made here sick.

"No freaking way, I'm touched THAT guy!" She tried to slip out of Sands grip.

"Honey, you don't have a choice. If you don't do what I say, I'll shoot you." He pointed the gun harder against her head.

Lizz rolled her eyes. "Try me! If you shoot me now, you're here alone, what means you won't get out of this house, with means you'll have to wait fore my dear stepdaddy, or the cops. THINK five dead body's around you, you're fingerprints on the gun, and well, whole Mexico knows you like killing." Lizz laugh. "Even I wouldn't be so stupid!"

Sands hissed something under his breath, probably something mean and nasty. Lizz couldn't help to look at Sands with a smile, this time she won!

Then Sands face lighted. " Listen ,luv, if I killed you, you would be relieved." The evil smile returned.

"Where are you up to!" Lizz asked frowning.

Within a second Sands turned her arm behind her back. He bend his head to her ear. "I'm trained by the CIA, I can make people do anything if I want…" He whispered.

Lizz turned her head a little to look him in the face. SHIT, he mend it. A terrifying feeling filled her stomach. She tried to kicked him an pulled here arm loose, but he started laugh and twisted her arm even more.

"Honey, c'mon, you can't win from me. So be a nice girly and get the key's. Or else I might have to break you're arm, and we won't want that right!" Again, this wasn't a question but a order.

This time Lizz decided to listen to the now very scary looking CIA cop. Slowly she reached out to the dead men's pocket. Owh, my god this is so totally gross! Quick she felt in the left pocket. Nothing. Owh, shit now I have to look in the other one to. Lizz reached further over the man and still looked away.

"What's thanking so long!" Sands spook sounding very impatient.

She ignored him and felt in the other pocket. A key. Thank god! She pulled the key out of the pocket. Sands heard the jingling sound. "Good girl." He dragged her back up her feet. "Walk to the door, where going out."

Lizz didn't move a ins. No way she was going, she wanted to call the police. Yeah, that would be a good idea. She would explain everything, probably have to live in a institute for young criminals but at least she would be safe.

Sands ,to bad, hade other plans. "Where are you waiting for, MOVE!" He pushed her forwards. "C'mon walk!" Again he twisted her arm a little more and ticked the gun against her head.

Lizz sighted. Well, so much for being a gentleman. Very ,very slowly she walked to the door and opened it. "So, where to go now?"

"What do you think? The car of course! Christ from all the people in the world I'll get dropped with you!" Angrily he pushed her further.

"Yeah, that because I was the ONLY one who cared to help you!" Lizz snapped back, not letting him win.

"I didn't asked for that. You could have left me you knew. Would have made things a lot better for us both!" He answered back sounding very angrily.

"Finn, next time I SEE some one needing help I'll leave him to die okay!" She smiled when his face paled after the word SEE.

"Finn, no move!" He pushed her hard. Lizz desperately wanted to kick him but restrained herself. Pissing him off even more would become dangerous. No, after the word SEE she had to leave it fore a bit.

She reached the car. It was a old dark blue jeep covert with dirt and sheepshit.She rolled her eyes, just the dream car she wanted. "Where here." She explained after seeing his interrogative look.

"Good, get in. And don't even think about running away. I'll shoot you if you try." He felt around and opened the door. "You drive."

No really? She taught. She also opened the door and started the car. Sands stepped in and aimed the gun at her. "Drive!"

Lizz rolled her eyes. Jesus, will this guy ever stop! She putted the car in its reverse drove a little bit back, until the road. "So where are we going?" She asked very carefully.

"Don't care, somewhere very far from here, I need to think."

Lizz glared at him. Wonderful he didn't even HAD a plan. Let's get the things straight. I'm sitting here, in a stolen car, with a guy who is blind, pissed off and loves to kill people. Could this be worst? She thought fore a moment. Owh, yes, the guy is still pointing a gun at my head, so I'm a hostage to. And the two of us are completely silent. In movies that mostly means that one of the two is plotting a murder, and because I'm the only other person in this fucking desert, I'll be dead if I don't say something soon.

"Can I turn the radio on?" Lizz asked polite. It wasn't a very brilliant thing to asked but heh, what would you ask Sands?

"No, you just shut up, don't ask stupid questions and drive." With on hand he scratched his neck and with the other one he pointed the gun at back at her direction.

Lizz didn't look at the gun but focused on the road. This was going to be a boring rid, she almost hoped the 'gangsters' would find them. Not even music and nothing to see except for sand, rocks and… well that was it really.

She start tapping on the wheel with her fingers on the music of

_Un, dos tris Maria_from Ricky Martin.

"CUT THAT OUT!" Sands jelled after the first chorus.

"Screw you!" Lizz jelled back.

Sands eyebrows frond, mostly that mend run now you still can. "Sut the fuck up, sugerbutts, or I'll-"

"-Yes,yes, shoot me. I knew, it's hard to forget when you remind me EVERY FUCKING MINUT!" Lizz gave a pull on the wheel till they reached the sand. "Now you listen to ME! You stop calling me suggerbuts ,luv, girly ore any other stupid nickname! My name is LIZZ. And stop treating me with horrible deaths. So put that FUCKING GUN AWAY or get out of the car!"

She clutched her fingers around the wheel and closed her eyes. He was SO going to shoot her now. She heard the clicking of a gun and looked up. Owh shit,shit,shit,shit.

But to her big surprise he didn't blow her head of, just stared at her. If you can call that staring…

"Finn, LIZZ." He finally said, trying to let 'Lizz' sound so annoyed as possible. He putted his gun back between his belt. " You drive, no music, no ticking, no talking, no rolling with you're eye's, no nothing. I want to heard what's happening. Understood!"

Lizz could throw a party right now. "Yes, understood."

"Great within a second you broke rule number three." He looked angry at her.

Lizz sighted. This was going to be a long, LONG ride…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Finally after two and a half hour in total silent Lizz saw a gas station compiled with a small restaurant. She pulled over and immediately Sands was alert. "What's going on? Where ware we? Why did you stop! Did I tell you to stop! No didn't think so, DRIVE!"

"Where almost out of gas, and I'm starving 'cause SOMEBODY told the nice farmer we already ate. So you can stay sitting here, playing the game I-HATE-LIFE, but I'm going to eat something." She opened the car door and stepped out.

Strangely, but true Sands did the same, only looking a lot crankier. She reached for his hand to guide him, but he pulled back. "I can walk myself, you just tell me where we are."

Lizz raised a eyebrow but didn't say anything. She took a few steps and looked over her shoulder. Sands stood still and listened to her steps. She smiled and walked to the restaurant, Sands followed without falling, shouting ore yelling.

"What does the restaurant look like?" Sands asked before Lizz could open the door.

She looked inside. " Cheap, crappy, old, small, four people eating, two serving and in the back is one cooking. The table stand in a straight line, so you can't bump into anything."

Sands slowly nodded. " 'Kay lets go."

They went in and Lizz looked for the least fitly table. "You can sit down, you right in front of the table. He nodded again and sat down.

A waitress walked to them with a menu. Lizz thank her polite and Sands mumbled something. After a few minutes the waitress returned. Sands handed her his menu. "puerco bible." He ordered.

Yes, of course order the most expensive meal on the menu. "trepe el huevo, please." The waitress wrote it down, thanked and walked to the kitchen.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands started to get pissed off. It was fucking hot in the restaurant and he had the feeling some one was watching him. And that started to get on his nerves. Maybe it would be fun to shoot some one, just to see… heard there reaction. But than some one would probable call the cops. No, shooting had to wait.

FINALY dinner arrived. He mumbled something nasty at the waitress knowing she didn't understood him or could hear him.

"Don't be so rude." The girl, or 'Lizz' as she preferred, hissed to him. He turned to her. " Shut up." He answered. She was so god damn annoying, to bad she had so much money, so he couldn't let her go.

_Sure Sheldon, THAT'S the rezone you stick around with her… _He could almost hear him smirk. Shut up, what other rezone do I have to stay with her? _Well, you don't have anywhere to go to, anything to live fore so you stay with her. You scared to think of that, aren't you? Scared to be helpless and alone… _Sands clenched his fist. FUCK YOU! I'm not helpless and I don't need you're fucking opinion, OR you're fucked up comments OR even you're voice. Go bug some one else.

_Tsk,tsk, Sheldon that's not nice to say. But I understand… the truth can be a bitch. _"Shut up." He whispered. "I'll swear on more word and I'll cut you out of me."

_Sure take the cowards way out of this. It's not my fault you can't handle the truth…_

"SHUT UP!" He jumped up, knowing the who restaurant was looking at him. But right now he didn't fucking care. "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He smacked himself against the head. When he did that dragged along his dinner plate.

A smashing sound filled the are around him. Time seemed to freeze for a moment. A shiver went throw is entire body. "O god I'm sorry…" He was standing in the middle of the restaurant and people were staring at him, whispering over him.

But he didn't care. He broke a plate…

Some one was talking to him, touching him. Old memories came back, memory's he wised never to remember.

_Flashback. _

_He tried not to make a sound, not to make a unexpected move. Not to be noticed. He tried to breath so silently as possible. It was hard to breathe and it hurt very ,very bad._

_But he wouldn't complain or even talk about it. That would be suicide. Hopefully it would go away itself. But what IF one of his ribs where broken?_

_Don't think Sheldon! He forced himself. Just do de dishes, and be careful! Slowly he reached into the sink. Hot water connected with his still half frozen fingers. He bit his bottom lip. One tear rolled over his cheek. This hurt so much!_

_Carefully he pulled a plate out of the hot burning water. His hand tremble a little. Why did he had to be so uncareful? Asking about Christmas, what was he thinking! _

_He had bin tied-up against the tree in the back-yard for the rest of the day. When he stood there in the cold snow, looking at the dark night full of stars, he wondered why Santa always forgot his presents. _

_Was he really a bad chicken-shit boy like the bad evil man always told him? But what, is he was, did he do so wrong? He never hurt some one, always cleaned his room and always did his homework. _

_Well, sometimes he didn't, but only if his hand hurt to much. _

_Again tears filled his eight year old eyes. Quickly he wiped them away. If the bad evil man saw him standing like this he would be furious. The bad evil man HATED it if he acted so girley. So Sheldon didn't cried anymore, on the outside._

_He looked at his fingertips. They were still a little bit blue, but he would be okay. He smiled. Yes, he would be okay. He would do the dishes like a good boy and go to bed. Tomorrow school would started again. So he could be safe for at leased six hours, seven if he walked back trough the park. His smile grow bigger. Yes, he would walk back trough the park and-_

_His hand tremble again and the plate slip throw his fingers. He tried to grape it again, really he tried, but the plate was quicker_

_The plate landed on the kitchen floor, smashing in to hundred pieces. Horrified he looked at the broke plate. _

_In the living room the TV switched off and a chair shoved loudly over the floor. Before he knew it two big strong hands where around his shoulders pushing him against the wall. _

"_WHAT DID I TELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" A fist hit his belly. He tried not to scream, that would make everything even worse. " ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS THE DISHES, IS THAT SO GOD DAMN HARD!" Another fist hit his belly. He collapsed, but the fist weren't finished jet. "YOU'RE WORTHELESS, YOU KNOW THAT! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK! I THINK YOU DO THIS ALL ON PURPOSE! TO PISS ME OFF!" A hand smacked against his face. His nose stated to bleed and he cried out in pain. "SHUT THE FUCK UP CRY BABY!" He tried to protect his face, or else he couldn't go to school tomorrow, and he wanted so desperately to get out of here. But nothing seemed to help… _

_Finally after almost passing out, it was over. The bad evil man left him lying on the floor, grabbed a beer and walked back in to the living room to watch football. _

_Only after he hear to TV turned on he dared to sob. He tried to get up. He HAD to go away, he HAD to get to his room. If the bad evil man would find him heard ,when he walked back fore another beer, it would all started over again. _

_Slowly he stood up holding himself against the wall. Everything started spinning. He felt like throwing up. He walked silently throw the hall and reached his room. Slowly ,heavily supporting against the wall, he opened the door and walked in. _

_After closing the door he stumbled to his bed and curled up like a ball. Holding the tears back was hopeless. Why did he break that plate? Why didn't he bin more careful? And WHY did the bad evil man hate him so much, was he that bad!_

_End flashback._

Lizz stared at the pale agent. She shook him a little. "Hello? Could you please say something?" She whispered. "Really, it's no big deal I'll pay the plate. But could you PLEASE act like you're sane? You scaring me and the whole restaurant is staring at us." She touched his shoulder. "HELLO!"

He shook his head and it looked like he finally notes her. Fast he grabbed her arm. "DON'T touched me!"

Lizz tried to pull her arm loos, but the CIA agent held her to firm.

"DON'T touched me!" He spook again with a low dangerous tone.

Her mind warned her to take him serious this time. His voice, it sounded like a animal trapped in a corner. "Finn, I 'don't touch you' and you let me go, sounds like a good deal to me, right!" She tried to sounds as calm as possible, and thank god, his grip on her arm eased.

"Is there something wrong!" Lizz nearly got a heard attack when the manger form the restaurant stood next to her from out off nowhere.

She smiled a enormous fake smile. "No, no problemos senõre."

The manger looked from her to Sands and frowned. "I'm sorry but you two have to leave this restaurant.

Lizz, being glade the man didn't call the cops nodded quick. But Sands wasn't in the mood to listen. " What did you say fuckmook!" He pulled his gun and aimed at the man's head. "I pay to sit here, and now you telling me to get out! What lousy serves is THAT!"

"Sands, let the guy go." Lizz asked, like she was talked to a little kid and not to a clearly insane CIA agent with a desire of killing people. " C'mon let's go, we still have to think of a plan, and this food sucks anyhow."

Sands stood there still aiming his gun, still looking dreadful dangerous. After what seemed forever he putted his gun back. "Mister, you don't know how lucky you are…" He looked at Lizz. "Let's go."

Lizz sighted relieved. He holed his arm and walked to the door.

To bad, the manger wasn't a smart person. "Wait señor, you didn't pay yet!"

Sands stopped walking, and turned around. Lizz let his arm go, knowing this was going to be bad.

"What did you say, fuckmook! I didn't pay!" he slapped himself against the head. "Owh, sorry that right, how could I forget!" Fast he pulled his gun, pulled the trigger and shoot the guy right in the face. "And don't forget the tip." He started to shoot around him.

The poor people in the restaurant ducked under the tables and the waitresses started to scream. Bottle smashed into pieces, chairs broke and flow around.

After his gun went empty he grinned evil. "Adios amigos!"

Lizz looked with wide eyes at the mess, cursing the dead manger for being so enormous stupid.

"Let's go Lizzy-O." He started to laugh insane. "We've a lot to think about!"

**I'm very very very sorry for not posting so long. It took me a wiled to writhe this chap and I wanted to be good. It's my longest chap I believe and I hope you like it. I hope the flashback wasn't to lame, 'caus Sands is a sad little kid and all. I wanted to show that Sands wasn't a big bastard his whole live but is made to be a bastard. ( I myself don't believe 'bad' persons be born bad, I think 'bad' persons are made bad by in this case parents).**

**But I made it up by the whole shooting the manger think, I hope. **

**Please revieuw, 'cause the writhing goose a lot faster that way.**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**

**-TBC- **


	11. Arriving in Colorado

**Many thanks for my first beta reader. ****_fanfiction fanatic_****Thanks to her this chaps looks twenty times better! **

**Disclame: Don't own anything. **

**Chapter 11) Arriving in Colorado.  
**

Lizz was back in the car. Sands was sitting next to her, still smiling   
insane, still being very, very happy. And _that_ was what scared her the most.

He had really liked what he just did. Alright, that manager had been a total jerk, but killing him, nah, the thought would have never came up in her head.

Then she started thinking of what Sands was capable of. He had killed many people, laughed over the dead farmer and his wife, and almost broke her arm. To Think about it, this guy was capable of everything.

"What do you think of Rio De Janeiro? It's full of gamblers, drug dealers and the mafia. There's so many problems, no-one well even notice us." If Sands had eyes, there would have been a far away look in them. "I can see it already, Sands' Casino!" He smirked making a grand gesture with his hands." And every fuckmook who  
tries to cheat will get his hands shot off."

Seeming pleased with his idea he turned his attention to Lizz. "So what do you think? Sounds good right!"

Lizz quickly looked away, knowing he couldn't see her. "Yeah, about the money…"

His smile disappeared and slowly he turned his head to her. "WHAT do you mean by that!"

Lizz praying that he hadn't reloaded his gun yet started to stammer. "W-well, I don't r-really have the m-money yet.."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPOSSE TO MEAN!"

"Well, it's complicated. With a virus I deleted his bank account files, so he didn't have access to his money. But because I was in a hurry I didn't download the files to my computer. So technically the money is drifting some where online. And because you blew up my laptop and dragged me to the car...I can't get to the money." Lizz answered.

Sands looked stunned. "FUCK!" He smacked his forehead.   
"FUCK,FUCK,FUCK!"

"Hey, it's not as bad as it sounds." Lizz said, feeling bad for the, now  
almost ready to hang himself, CIA agent.

"NOT SO BAD! I JUST LOST A FORTUNE!" Sands screamed.

"No, that's not what I said. If I get the right tools I can get the money. I still have the right files on my MP3 player." Lizz said pointlessly pointing at her MP3 player.

Sands stopped beating himself. "So what do you need?"

"A computer with 138 GB, a downloading program called Ares, a hard drive and a lot of coffee 'cause it can take a day or two."

"Oh, that's just great, now I'm really stuck in this god forsaken country!" He yelled furious.

"So, where are we going now?" Lizz asked.

"How much money do you have?"

Lizz reached to her back pocket and pulled here wallet out. "About 400 pesos."

"Oh, that's just fucking great!" Sands slammed his hands against the dashboard. "Fuck,fuck,FUCK!" He looked back at her direction. "Why didn't you tell me before that you didn't have the money! Then I could have walked away! Now I'm fucking stuck with you!"

"Well, sorry for interrupting your EXTRMELY busy life!" Lizz snapped back. "It wasn't like you had something important to do, except for, I don't know maybe,_ dying_!" Jesus, now he was acting like this was all her fault.

"Oh, shut up and drive to a motel. I need to think."

"Whatever!"

"Shut up!"

"No, I'm a free girl, I can do what I want!"

"No, I'm holding you hostage. Also I'm armed, and pretty _pissed_ off.

So you still have to do what I say!"

"Bugger off freak, or else I'll drop you right here, in the middle of the desert."

That comment hurt him more than he wanted admit. The 'freak' thing was indeed very true, and the fact that she knew it made it even worse. And she had power over him. In fact she could do anything she wanted, she knew he was helpless without her. And that really _stings_!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After what felt like forever the girl stopped the car. "Where here."

"And where is 'here', can you be more precise, I can't see a fucking thing remember!" He replied failing to sound calm.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." She said, sounding a little embarrassed. " We're in front of a motel called Colorado. Doesn't look fancy, _at all_, so it will be affordable."

He didn't bother to answer, he was still trying to figure out what was the best thing to do. He had to plan something, plot something, set some-one up. And he had to find a ally , some-one other than that weird girly. But who? Well, first off it had to be some-one who owed him big time.

"Yeah, are you coming? Or do you wanna sleep in the car?" The door on her side slammed shut.

_Why bother Sheldon? Do what the girl says, or stay here and freeze to death. Doesn't that sounds like a splendid idea?_

"Fuck you!" He replied opening the car door. Shit, now he stood here in the open. With no idea where he was, no idea who was around him, almost out of ammo and… alone. Now _that _scared him.

Then he started to wonder why he was so fucking stupid enough to trust Anjedrez.

_It was because you loved her Shelly, because you're weak…  
_  
I didn't love her, she was just a link, just some-one I thought I could use. Okay, maybe I trusted her a little. I let her in and she betrayed me. That's what you wanted to hear isn't it? I screwed up! Happy now?

_Nope, not really Sheldon, you should have listened to me! I told you she was a evil slut, didn't I? But you didn't listen! And now you're __blind__! BLIND BLIND BLIND! You fucked up…big time  
_  
Fuck you! It's because of _you_ that my life is so fucked up! You are the reason I am who I am! I never wanted this!

_Sure, Sheldon, keep telling yourself that shit. You where always a rotten apple. Always...even as a kid. You snuck around, stole food, lied to every god damn person you met! Do I have to continue?_

I did those things because _you_ made me! I didn't have a choice! Did you want me to tell my teacher what you did to me! That you-

"Hey, are you coming? It's getting cold, and I'm tired." For a second Sands didn't know who spoke to him. Until he felt a warm hand around his wrist. Jesus was that girl still around? Oh, yeah she needed his protection…

Silent he let her walk him to the motel, _or_ to prison, _or_ the CIA _or_ maybe the Cartels. Who knows, maybe she had lied to him the whole time. Maybe she was from the Cartels herself, it wouldn't surprise him at all, she spook Mexican, had gun and well…he himself wasn't very good at picking the women.

A door opened and he follow her inside.

"Hola, señor hay todavía espacios dejaron?" She asked standing close to him.

"Buenas noches, el señor, y la señora." A young man spook. After that the guy turned some pages. "Sí, hay todavía a espacios. Un dos persas dormitorio, eso es 125 pesos. Y un cuarto con una serie, que uno es 489 pesos"

"Daré gracias el dos dormitorio de personas" The girl said, still standig very close.

"Gracias señora, me sigue" The young man said, he probably looked disturbed.  
He was probably asking himself what a guy like me is doing with a little girl like her. Good thing I don't give a shit.

The girl probably nodded, 'cause we were moving again, and she was still clutching my arm. I am really, _really _starting to hate it too. Do I LOOK like a cuddly person? _No _! I didin't think so!

_Right Sheldon, right…_

Oh fuck you! Name _one_ moment in my life I was a cuddly , _one_!  
_  
Sheldon, you don't want to here the answer to that question, believe me…_

C'mon, you think I can't handle it? You're crazy, I've gotten my fucking eye's drilled out, I got shoot three times, and don't get me started on how many bruises and cuts I have gotten. _Not_ to mention blood loss. You fuckmook!

_ I was referring to mental pain, idiot!_

Like that can be considered pain, I've been through enough to not get hurt like that anymore, believe me.

_Allright, you're the man… The question was: Where you ever a cuddly person? The answer: Yes, you where in fact! Not for a long time though. Or did you forget your_ _dear__, dear mommy. The __slut__ who left you, the __bitch__ who you care for so much?_

Sands stopped walking. Again he was surrounded by the _white_ walls, _white_ floors and the _white_ man. Shit, it just kept coming back.

He sighed and started to walk again, he didn't want the girl asking him what was wrong. Not now, _not_ ever. Just ignore it, normally the flashbacks went away.  
_  
Since when is there a 'normally' with you, fucker?_

"Go away!" He hissed silently.

"Yeah, where here. Room number 103." Lizz told Sands, this time not forgetting to give him some information. She didn't feel like getting snapped at again. But he didn't seemed to hear her. What was up with him? One moment he was mister-I'll-shoot-before-you-can-see-me and the next moment he was mister-I'm-very-very-insane. Both weren't very great to hang out with. Maybe he was scitzo.

Slowly she opened the door, and thanked the young man. The moment she looked inside she knew one thing: This was the cheapest room in the motel.

The bedsheet where once pink, but now they were some weird kind of white. The floor was covert with dust and in some places it was mouldy . And last but not least there was a big hole where a window was suppose to be.

"This SUCKS!" She mumbled, guiding Sands inside the room.

This time he seemed to hear her. "Is it just me or does this room smelllike vomit and handsoap?"

"No...the room smells like vomit and hand soap." Lizz answered, walking to the bathroom and opening the door. Within a second she closed it again. " I'll give you some good advice. _Don't_ use the bathroom!"

"Is there a phone somewhere?" Sands asked, looking around. Lizz gave him the strangest look, not only for the 'looking around part' but also for the phone. Who would he want to call? He wasn't a very social guy… "Yes, I believe there was a phone in the hallway. Do you want me to bring you to the-" "Nope, I can walk myself." He smiled, loaded his gun and walked to the doorway,  
then he stopped. " Don't worry, I won't be long." He started laughing and  
closed the door.

Lizz looked at the closed door. " He's starting to get freaky…"

**Thanks for reading, please _do _revieuw!**

**-TBC-**


	12. Secret revealed

**Chapter 12) Secret revealed.**

"This can't be that hard, right!" Sands question himself while walking down the hallway. I just have to walk straight. That's all. And count the steps, and try not to bump into some one. Maybe this was going to be allot harder then he thought it would be. But he had to do this. If he failed now, he would be helpless forever. And there was _no fucking_ way he would let that happen to him!

Just keep walking, just keep walking. He told himself. Nothing can go wrong.

_No...__nothing__ can wrong if you're around,__ fucker__… The voice said sarcastically. _

Could you please leave! I have had it with you! Don't you have anything better to do!_  
_  
_No not really, and watching __you__ screw up it pretty fun…_

Oh, go _fuck_ yourself! I'm in the middle of something important. Okay!

_Oh, I'm __so __sorry. How could I forget how__ hard__ it is to baby-sit a girl and find a telephone! On the other hand, without eyes it could get__ fucking__ funny.  
_  
Sands decided to ignore him. He must be around the counter. "Hello?" He asked trying to hear if some one was around.

"Buenos, señor, you're American?" A man said, probably the guy who rent them the room. Sands cursed himself for speaking in English. The less the guy knew about him, the better.

"Yes, I'm American." He answered briefly. "Is there a phone I could use?"

"Of course, señor, you can use that phone." The guy said, probably pointing to a phone.

Sands tensed. _SHIT!_ Where should he walk to? Frome what way did he come from? Was that guy still looking at him? Where was he!

_Look who's messing up now…_

SHUT UP!

"Señor? Is there something wrong? Do you still want to us the phone?"

That's_ it_...I'm gonna freak out! He thought.

"No, he still want's to us the phone, he just didn't see the phone." A  
familiar girly voice sad, right behind hem. "It's right there." She grabbed his arm and dragged him to a small table. "Here's the phone." She placed his hand on it.

"_What_ the fuck are you doing here!" Sands whispered angrily.

"Saving_ your_ ass and looking for a _descent_ toilet, WITH NO DEAD RATS ON THE FLOOR!" She yelled to the manger. "Anyways, you go do your calling thingy and I'm going to pee. You remember where our room is?"

On day I'm going to hit her, Sands promised himself. But not right now. "Yeah, I know where our room is."

"Good, then I'm going, have_ fun_ calling." She patted on his shoulder and walked away.

_Saved by a toddler, __again_,_ look who's the CIA agent now…_

"Fuck you." He sad, dyling a number. Which is a lot harder when you  
can't see the numbers.

He grinned when he heard a hurried 'hello'. "Hello, Daily, and how are you…"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz found out that when you smacked the TV three times on the left side it would change channel. She was lying on the least mouldy bed and watching _Friends_, one of the few American series that was also in Mexico. After half a hour she was starting to think about Sands. What was he doing? Only girls talk this long! She tried to picture Sands in a mini skirt, high heels and lipstick. She started smirking, good thing he couldn't see what she was thinking right now.

Lizz was almost falling asleep when the door opened. Lazy Lizz opened her eyes and saw Sands, standing in the doorway. "Do you know what time it is?" She asked.

"No I _don't_, I can't _see_, is that so hard to remember!" He sighed. "Stupid little brat…" After that he mumbles several other words. Lizz rolled her eyes.

"So when you're done calling me names like a little kid, can you   
_please_ be so kind as to tell me what took you so freaking long!"

He frowned. "Can you _fucking_ stop playing mom? Don't forget you're the _l__ittle_ kid here, and _I'm_ the killer!"

Lizz made a face. "Whatever, so who did you call?"

He walked through the room feeling around for the other bed and sat down. "I called an old colleague of mine. He owed me big time, so I, well let's just say that I _convinced_ him to help me." He sad with a evil grin on his face.

"Let me guess, you didn't ask him politely."

"No, not quite." Sands pulled out his gun and reloaded it. " Let's just say I found out some stuff about his personal life when I was working with him. Some things that could screw up his whole career. But I kept my mouth shut, the good person that I am."

"Yeah, you should get a medal." Lizz snored. " So when is he coming?"

"Are you that stupid!" Sands snapped. "He's not coming  
this way! We're going his way. Didn't you learn anything? It's all about   
control, Lizzy-o. If he knows where we are he has the power. So we're going to a public place. We're going to a local bar, so dress slutty, or else you won't get in because you look to young."

Her mouth dropped. "You're kidding right! I didn't run away so other guys can drool over me! I'm not going!"

Sands clicked his gun shut. "Luv, I don't think you understand. _You_ don't have a choice…"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"You have no_ idea_ how much I hate you right now!" Lizz hissed looking  
away, keeping her attention on driving the car. " No I don't just hate you I despise you! I can't believe I'm sitting here driving to some fucked up hookerbar."

Sands laugh, pointing his gun in her direction ( like she didn't know that trick). "Just fucking drive Lizzy-o."

"Yeah,yeah,yeah." She rolled her eye's and looked in the car mirror. _God_, she looked like a freaking clown! To much red lipstick, to much black mascara...and her clothes! Her dress was ripped and now very short. When she sat down she felt like the _whole_ world could see her butt. And her shirt... it was so translucent that you could see her bra.

"So, where should I turn right again?" She asked.

"Christ, I told you three times! The second on the right, then a mile  
straight and then a left! _Is_ it so fucking hard to remember that!" He yelled.

"Jesus, RELAX!" She slammed on the wheel, honking the horn. " If you keep _yelling_ I can't focus and we'll crash. Of course YOU might like that, you're so full of self pity that you don't _care _if you _die_. But I want to _live_!" She smiled that would show him!

"Fuck you." He smirked, moved his gun in her direction and shot. The bullet narrowly missed her. She screamed and pulled the car over to the side of the road. "IDIOT! You almost hit me!" She looked at the hole on the window. "And you_ damaged_ the car! Bastard!"

"I_ told _you to shut the fuck up and drive." He sad with a I-told-you-so tone and smiled.

Lizz cursed herself for ever thinking she was a good person and moreover for helping him. She looked around and saw a small building with many lights and loud music coming from it. She parked the car and stept out. " Well, this is it then…"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sands walked into the bar. The air around him was full of smoke, alcohol and people. This felt good,_ very_ good. It was like he was back again, back and _normal_. He pushed his sunglasses firm against his head. This was going to be great!

Lizz however, was not happy with this situation. She walked  
very close to Sands, while looking disgustedly around the bar. Every person was drinking or very drunk, there were people gambling, and people fighting. She snorted when a very cheap looking lady bumped against her. " Excuse me. _I'm_ walking here!" And she gave her a push.

The, now provoked, bitch gave here an entertained look. "What's _you're _problem? Can't you see I'm working" She grabbed Lizz by the jaw. "You're not _old_ enough to be here! This is no place for babies, so beat it, girly!" And she started to push Lizz to the door.

"Wait a minute, sugerbutt, she's with _me_." Sands grinned and pulled Lizz back away from the door.

The Bitch gave him a frown. "_She_ is with _you_?" She started to laugh. "You've got to be kidding me, don't tell me you like that little_ brat_ more than, let's say, some one like _me_…" She gave him a seductive smile and laid her hand on his stomach. "So what do you think, honey?" She whispered in his ear.

Sands chuckled and nodded. "Sounds good to me." He placed his arm around her waist. "Lead the way sugerbutt." The , now promoted to queen of bitches, smiled, gave Lizz a mean I'm-so-much-better-then-you-smile and walked away with Sands, who looked _very_ pleased with himself.

"_No_, of course you don't have to wait for me, go ahead walk away with that _skank_, it's not like we have _better _thinks to do!" She rolled here eye's. "I need a drink…" Slowly, trying not to fall over beer cans, and not bump against some one she walked to the bar and order a cola. The bartender gave her a strange look because of the clothing, make up and all that. 

"I _know_ I look to young for this slutty place, and I _know _I look like a  
clown, but give me my freaking drink and I'm out of here."

The bartender gave here an even stranger look, but gave her the drink anyways. "Good boy." She smiled and paid for the drink. She sat down at the bar and counted her money. "_Shit_, this isn't even enough for a breakfast at McDonalds!" She sighed. " I _hate_ my life!"

She turned around while drinking her cola and saw Sands sitting, extremely happy, on a red sofa, drinking, smoking and all this with that _bitch_ on his lap.

"That guy is _unbelievable_!" Lizz told herself. " I just hope that this old colleague guy comes soon, I don't think I'm strong enough to watch this the entire night…." And with that thought, she mimed puking. 

Suddenly the bitch got very interested in Sands sunglasses. "Oh, come on, take them off." She giggled. "I wanna _see_ you're eyes." Lizz looked from the bitch to Sands. He looked stressed, not knowing what to do. Lizz started to like the view. " _Payback_, Sands." She help her glass up. "Cheers!"

Then the bitch started to reach for his sunglasses. Sands felt her hand on his cheek and tensed. His right hand brushed over his gun. The bitch, clearly didn't know what kind of dangerous position she was in, continued her whining. "I bet you have _beautiful_ eyes!" Sands tried to push her away, but she ignored it.

"This won't go well." Lizz sighed and drank the last bit of her cola.  
She jump off her chair and walked over to Sands and the Bitch. She tapped her shoulder. " Excuse me, but _what_ the fuck are you doing with MY boyfriend!"

The Bitch gave her an annoyed look. "Move it brat, can't you see we're _busy_!" Lizz stuck out her tongue, then she began to ignore her and looked at Sands. "And YOU! How can you do _this_ to me! I thought _we_ had something! But no, you just go around _flirting_ with the first Barbie who jumps on you're lap!" She slapped Sands ,who looked stunned from her acting talent, in the face. She tried not to chuckle, this was so funny to watch.

She looked back at the bitch. "So if you don't mind, go hump some _other_ guy, he's mine!" And to her big surprise the bitch took off, which made her feel even better.

"You have _no_ idea how lucky you are!" Sands hissed. "If you weren't the key to big money, you would be _dead_ right now!" He grasped her by the neck. "If you ever, _ever_ slap me again, I'll break you're _fucking_ arm. BOTH OF THEM!"

Lizz pulled herself loose from his grip. "Save it, mister, I just saved  
you're life and dignity. So you _better_ thank me" The last part, wasn't a very good thing to say. He moved towards in an attempt to grab her again, but she was faster than him.

"Fucking stay still!" He shouted.

"Yeah, right, do I _look_ stupid!" She said, smiling.

"You're _dead_, you hear me, _dead_!" He screamed. "I'll shoot _you_ in the head and-"

"Like I haven't heared _that_ one before." She rolled her eyes. "C'mon if you want to threaten me with horrible deaths. Please try to be original !" She looked at the bar. "I'm going to have another drink, _you_ stay here. Wait for that guy and think of more ways to threaten people, _okay_?" And before he could answer her she walked to the bar.

She sat down and ordered another cola. While sipping her drink she looked around the bar. Where was that CIA colleague guy? He better show up! She looked at the people dancing and talking around her. Maybe this was all a lie to get her to drive him to this shit place. So he could get attention from that girl, wouldn't surprise her if that was the reason. 

"Hey, señorita, looking good!" A man, can from out nowhere, put his arm around her shoulder pulling her close. "My,my, you look _very _good!"

Lizz looked at the man, she didn't like him. "Bugger off, go _annoy_ some one else."

The man started to laugh. "Aren't you a _feisty_ one?" He pulled her even closer. Lizz started to panic. She knew where this was going. "Let _me_ go, you fucking _bastard_, I'm going to get my boyfriend if you don't let me go!" She yelled trying to act tough.

The man eye's narrowed. He grabbed her by her chin. "You don't _want_ to be doing that. You just do whatever _I_ say, and if you don't-" He didn't get the chance to finish his line. Someone had punched him in the face. And that someone was Sands.

The man, who's nose was bleeding looked at Sands. "You know when a girl say's _no_, it means _no_. So don't _ever_ touch her again, fuckmook!" Sands said cold and threatening. The man looked a bit shocked at Sands.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are you can't order me around?"

"I'm the fucker who will shoot your _balls_ off, if you don't listen to  
what I just said!" He replied, now looking deadly.

"Is that so?" The man grinned. He jumped at Sands and hit him in the face. Because of the blow Sands flew backwards and landing under a  
table.

Lizz, gave a very girly scream and ran to Sands. She saw him lying under the table with his hand in front of his face, while blood was running from his forehead to his chin. "My _sunglasses_, their _broken_…" he said horrified.

"And I lost my gun." His hand, still on his face, was shaking. He looked terrified in her direction. "Please, _do_ something, I don't want people to see me like this!" The puppy was back.

Lizz wanted to help him, but what could she do? Before she could think of something a hand dragged Sands out from under the table. Sands squirmed trying to get away, but the man was much stronger. "Thought you could _hide_ like a sissy, eh? Thought you could-" The man stopped and gasped. "Holy _mother_ of god, what _are_ you!" The man was discusted at Sands face. "You make me sick!"

Other people started to notice something was going on. Some people gasped in horror, others pointed at Sands.

"You're a _freak_!" The man continued, still holding Sands by his shoulders, looking in his hollow eye sockets. "Why didn't you're mother _drown_ you when you were born!"

Lizz couldn't stand to look at Sands. He looked so tiny compared to this man, so vulnerable and so scared. She saw his gun lying on the ground under a chair. A easy choice to make.

She picked the weapon up, looked at the man, aimed and shot. She hit the man in his right leg. He started to scream, people stopped looking at Sands, and started to look at her.

Lizz made use of the moment and started to shoot in the air.

Confusion and fear filled the bar and people stared to run for the door. Lizz shot one last time and ran to Sands, who was sitting in the middle of the bar with his hands on his face.

The first thing she wanted to ask was: 'are you okay'. But she knew the answer already, he wasn't. So she asked. "Did I hit you?" By hearing her voice Sands tensed and shook his head.

"Good, let's _go_ and leave this shit hole forever!" He nodded slowly and stood up, still holding his hands in front of his face.

Lizz looked around and picked up a pair of green cheap looking sunglasses. "Here this will do the trick." Gently she pushed his hand away and put the green glasses on. He didn't say a word and let her lead him the way.

When Lizz pushed the door opened she saw the Bitch and her friends standing against the wall, smoking, discussing 'the _freak_ issue'. The bitch noticed her and smiled evilly. "Oh god, I can't _believe_ I was talking to that no-eyed freak! What _was_ I thinking!" She said very loud.

Sands froze for a moment and looked at the ground.

Lizz wished she had some ammo left. What was everybody's problem! So he didn't look like Mr. World? So what! He still looked better then most guy's, only a _little_ different.

"Where, at the car." Lizz said. Sands nodded and stepped in. Lizz did the same and started the car. "Sands, _listen_, you're not a-"

"_Don't_." He looked away. "_Don't_ say that word, just drive us back to that hotel."  
**  
Ah! I feel so sorry for Sands! His biggest fear, people knowing what he really looked like and feeling scared. Aren't I an evil person?**

Well, that was it for this time, don't forget to review!

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	13. Nothing left, for me to stay

**There is a song that inspired this chap. It's from Linken Park and is called My December. This line was something that Sands may feel or think:**

**I just wish that I didn't feel,  
like there was something I missed,  
and I,  
give it all away,  
just to have somewhere to go to,  
give it all away,  
to have someone to come home to**

**And many thanks to: fanfiction fanatic, for beta reading. You're the best, this chapter looks a thousand times better! **

**And thanks to: ****Sands-agent****Elvish dreams**** and smof, it's nice to know other people then myself like this story. **

Chapter 13) Nothing left, for me to stay.

_Sheldon, this time you've done it. You've lost __everything__. You have lost you're eye's. You're name, you're job, all you're money and finally you're dignity. Pretty __pathetic__, if you ask me…_

Sands didn't bother to answer. What was left to say? He had said the truth. He'd lost every _god_ _damn_ thing he had ever work for. He felt so worthless.

"Hey, where back at the hotel." The girl said softly. He nodded and stepped out of the car. The girl held him very close and guided him into the hotel. She stopped walking. "Listen Sands, don't listen to that guy in the bar, he's talking _shit_ you're not-"

"_Don't_, just _don't_. Go to you're room, and leave me alone." He whispered.

Lizz looked at him, scared. "You will come soon right?"

Sands looked at the ground. "For _once_, do what I say, go! Just _leave_ me alone." He heard her walk away. He sighed, walked to a sofa and sat down. Every one in the motel was already sleeping so he was entirely alone.

_Again, my question Shel, what __are__ you going to do with you're life? You don't have family left, or friends, not __even_ _a colleague or kids left. Good thing to, you would make a __lousy__ dad. I bet you would kill your kid if you had the chance._

Please..._shut up_…

_What? Isn't it truth? You're a killer Shel, you killed your poor mommy and daddy. So why not kill your own kids?_

I DIDN'T kill my mom! That's what _he_ told me when he beat me. But it's NOT the truth! I couldn't help it, she was sick!

_Yeah sick of you!_

Shut up, bastard! She _loved_ me! That's what she told me! She _loved_ me more than anything, that's what she _always_ told me!

_And how many women have cheated you, or lied to you! C'mon no women could live with you! You're a very bad person you know. No-one can love __YOU__, and __YOU__ can't love some one. You're incapable of love._

Sands was silent for a moment. I _didn't_ kill her. You hear me, I DIDN'T!

_You still killed your daddy. And what kind of __sick__ person would kill his  
own father!_

You can't call that monster a dad. _Why_ do you make me remember the things he did to me? Do you remember when he called me a faggot and beat me so bad that I couldn't walk for a week. All because I asked a pair of proper shoes because it was snowing? Or the time that I dropped a milk bottle. When he held me underwater for five minutes. I was _fucking_ blue by the time he let me up and then he asked me if I had learned my lesson. Since that day I'm have been afraid of swimming. He _destroyed_ me. I was so scared of him, I never _dared_ to think of running away, I was to afraid of what would happen if he found me.

_And….you didn't run away 'cause you didn't have a place to go. Because no one ,other than your __daddy__, would care for you. He __saved__ you, Shel, and you killed him…_

You can't kill some one who's already dead inside, he had no heart. I did the right thing!

_Killing is never a right thing, you said it you're self. Remember, Sheriff Sheldon, he was a good kid, wouldn't hurt a fly. Where did it all go wrong._

Sands was now holding his head. Can you _please_, go away! I don't want to think of those things. I don't _want_ to think of the man who dared to call himself my dad. And my mom...I _can't_ fix those things, I can't even fix my own life…

_That was where I was going, you __can't__ fix anything, your weak Sheldon, you're a weak shitty little boy, with __nothing__ to live for. You always have been, but you were to scared to see it. But since you can't see anymore, I'll just have to remind you. Oh, wait didn't that guy in the bar do __that__ already. What did he say again? "__Freak__, why didn't your mother drown you at birth." That guy had a good point. Why __are__ you still here? I mean what's the point? Why don't you just end it all?_

Sand bit his lower lip. He didn't want it to end this way. He always thought he would die in a fight, shooting till he died in a blaze of glory. He had planned on dieing with dignity, looking at the guy who shot him and telling him 'to go fuck himself'. That was the way he had seen it.

But what was the point of that? After he died he would _disappear_. No one would remember him. No one would go to his funeral. Everything he had _ever_ worked for seemed so meaningless. That realization had plagued him since he had lost his eyes.

_Give him a round of applause people! He __finally__ gets it! Your a __joke__ Shel, remember what that women said when she saw your real face. Let me refresh your memory. She said: "I can't believe I talked to that no-eyed freak!" You're a waist of time Sands.  
_  
Sands sighed and pulled a hand through his sticky hair. Maybe the voice was right. What was his big picture now? Keeping the balance. For what? The _CIA_, why would he do something for someone else? For _himself_? What was the point, he had lost that _so_ many times, _to_ many times. Slowly he pulled his gun out of the holster. The cold metal felt safe.

He felt the inside of his pocket. There was only one bullet left. Why wait anymore, his life was gone. Why spend his _every_ waking, and sleeping for that matter, minute thinking and dealing with how bad _he_ fucked up _his_ life?  
_  
That's the spirit, Shel, go do your thing, go with a __bang!__  
_  
"I don't think I can do _this_." He muttered.

_Why not? You've killed people before, and you __know__ how a gun works. So...use it!_

He nodded and loaded _his_ gun with _his_ last bullet. This is it. The big  
ending. Should he think of something good to saying ? No, that has never been his thing, he had never been good at saying the right things at the right time. Except when he was using his words to manipulate others, but that's different.

He placed his gun against his temple. His hands were shaking and he was starting to sweat. "C'mon Sands, don't be so weak, you can do this." He took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with". He whispered. He almost pulled the trigger, but then there was a voice.

"_Please_, don't do that!" It begged, the voice seemed so far away.

He started to laugh. "_Yes_, 'course, another voice, _just_ what I needed!" But the strangest thing was, this voice smacked his gun out of his hand. That wasn't good. He needed that gun. He wanted it back!

"_Why_ did you do… that!" Sands tensed. The voice was very close and he knew whose voice it was. That fucking little girl. Why couldn't she do, just _one_ fucking time, what he asked her to do? Why didn't she go away and forget about him!

"Why do you want to kill yourself? Is it because of that guy! Hell, he was talking _shit_!" She was silent for a moment. "Say something!"

"Why do _you_ care!" Sands said. "You don't _know_ me, you don't _know_ anything about me!"

"Well, _maybe_ that's because you don't trust me, and you have never told me _anything_ about yourself! And that doesn't make any sense! I told you my _fucked_ up life story, and I _have_ never shot you or lied to you, but _still_ you don't trust me!" She snapped.

Sands clenched his fists. "You _want_ my life story, fine, here _it_ is! I was born, fucked up _everything_ I had, and hopefully I will _die_ soon. THAT'S my life!" His voice was cold and careless.

"You are _really_ good with the details, ya know!" Lizz said. "And if you don't _want_ to tell me, then don't, but _don't_ blow your head off. I still need you."

Sands looked away. "Yeah, for protection. A blind _half-dead_ man for  
protection, don't you get it? You can find _lots_ of good gunfighters to help you, this one is _broken_, out of order. So hop away, find a _nice_ gunfighter, get your fortune, and live _happily_ ever after."

"I don't _want_ another fucked up shooter. I _want_ you!" This surprised Sands more than anything. "You're the first guy, _ever_, who didn't treat me like shit, _and_ you saved my life. You've done some _stupid_ things, but hey, you're human."

Sands didn't like where this was going. She sounded like she  
cared. That was the danger line, she had to back up, go away. And apparently she wasn't planning to go anywhere herself, so he had to help her a little bit. "Stupid things are _far_ from what I did, little girl. If you _knew_ the things I have done, _you_ would blow my brains out."

Lizz didn't like Sands' tone. Slowly she picked his gun up, but kept looking at him. "Couldn't be _that_ bad."

Sands remand still. The way he looked at her disturbed her. "Believe me on this one, it _can_ be that bad."

"So, why don't you tell me? It's not like we have something important to do." She said.

Sands frowned. There was that '_we_' thing again. Didn't she understand that there was no '_we_'? Was it _that_ fucking hard for her to understand that he didn't _give a shit_ about her? He had to make her go away. He wouldn't _shoot_ her, it wasn't because he cared, he owed it to her. But she had to go.

"Fine, you wanna know some of the things I _have_ done? Do you know about the torture techniques that the CIA use to make people talk? I was one of the people who _invented_ them and _used_ them. I even _liked_ using them. I'm one of those people who would kill  
and betray _ever fucking_ person on the planet to get what I want. And  
believe me, I _did_ kill and I _did_ betray many, _many_ people. I'm a guy _no one_ wants to be around." Sands grinned at the girl" I'm the guy, you _shouldn't_ be around."

It was silent for a moment.

"Dude, and _I_ thought _I_ had low self-esteem." The girl replied.

Sands looked furiously at her...well the in her general direction at least. "Did you understand _anything_ of what I just said! Jesus _Fucking_ Christ! _Normal_ people would turn around and walk away. _Smart_ people would aim the _damn_ gun and shoot me! So what's _so_ fucked up about you! Why _don't_ you get that _I'm_ the bad guy, not the I-should-help-him guy!" He yelled, very pissed off.

"Because your talking shit about yourself." She answered. " _Why_ would you do those things you just said? _No one_ would do something like that, not without a good reason."

He gave her a wicked smile. "Luv, I don't _need_ a good reason. It's who I am, and what I _always_ will be. So fuck off!"

"No, I _won't_ ' fuck off ', I still need you, I _need_ you to be around. I'm sure your gonna laugh at this, but your cool company. With the sarcastic comments and all. And…I feel safe with you around." She explained.

_Clearly_ the girl had lost her mind. Feeling _safe_, with _him_. This shit has to end, now! Slowly he stood up, and walked in her direction. He stopped when he felt her bodyheat. "You've been stupid girl, now you have to pay the price." Quickly he wrapped his hand around her wrist and with his other hand he grabbed his gun out of her hands. He smiled when he felt the cold metal in his firm grip.

He pushed the girl against the wall. "Now listen good. "He switch the safety off. "I'll give you two options, something I _never_ do, so listen _very_ closely. Option one, you turn around, walk away and live _happily_ ever after. Option two, I shoot you, _right_ here, _right_ now."

The girl froze. "You can't shoot me! I _helped_ you!"

Sands smirked and tapped his gun against his shin. "Corrupt CIA agent, _savvy_?"

"But, that's not fair!" She yelled.

"Life, is _never_ fair, girly, _you_ should know that by now… But your right shooting you is _very_ low, only because I _owe_ you. So I'll let you go, your the first, _congratulations_!" He pushed her away. "Ciao!"

He heard her walk away, was she sobbing? He didn't care. Pleased with himself because he had solved his _annoying_ problem, he sat down on the sofa. Then he heard screams and someone running.

"SANDS! HE FOUND ME!" He heard the girl scream. He jump up, a little bit shocked, not knowing exactly what she meant. He pulled his gun and then ...someone knocked him out.  
**  
What an ASS! I wanted Sands to open up a little in this chap. Do you have ANY idea how fucking hard that is! I swear there is just no talking to that guy! sighs What an ass! **

And sorry for the lame POTC quote.

**Luvzzz, Sue-AnneSparrow**

**-TBC-**


	14. Hell couldn’t be worse

**Thanks to Sands-Agent for reviewing and to fanfiction-fanatic for reviewing AND beta-reading.**

**Chapter 14) Hell couldn't be worse.**

Everything happened very quickly. Sands remembered being dragged out of the hotel and into the night. The man, probably the one who had knock him out, held him in a solid grip and started to shout to another man.

"Marcus, did you get her!" The man said with a voice common among heavy smokers.

"YEAH!" The other man replied, he sounded younger and had a Mexican accent. "I got the little chica ratta!"

The man who had hold of Sands started to laugh. "GOOD!" He pushed Sand forwards. "I also found this guy, no idea who he is, but she knows him. What should I do with him?"

Guy number two, otherwise known as Marcus, came closer. He looked at Sands for a moment. "Should we take him with us?"

"Or…shoot him here. It's not like this _gringo_ has any value to us."

Sands cursed under his breathe. Where was his gun when he needed it! He tried to kick the guy who was holding him, but his head hurt to much to focus.

Marcus grabbed Sands chin and lifted his head up, so that he could look Sands in the face. "You, what's you're name, gringo, who are you?"

Like always Sands stayed very subtle. "I'm the _fucker_ who will kill you, if you don't let me go this instant!" He raised both eyebrows. "Get it!"

The man was shocked for a second and started to chuckle. "You're not in the position to threaten _us_, amigo." He punched Sands in the face. Sand cursed under his breath. He tasted blood and he spit it onto the ground. Why did they always go for the face? Slowly he turned his head back, so he looked at the man. "Is that all you've got, _fucker_!" He spit in the man's face, or hoped he did anyways.

For that he had earned a blow in his stomach. He gasped for air, but forced himself to stand still, only to get another kick against his ribs.

"Throw him in the truck!" The man ordered. " I think we can have a little _fun_ with our new, amigo." The men who held him started to laugh. "You're a very stupid man, spitting at Marcus, that was a very, _very_ bad decision!" The man dragged him to a car. "Have a nice drive."

Something very heavy and extremely painful hit the back of his head and after that everything went numb.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Where am I!" Sands mumbled softly.

"You're here on a bed, in a small dirty cell, that is in _god_ knows where." Someone answered.

"Who are you!" Sands asked trying to focus on the voice.

"Who do _you_ think! Whose unlucky enough to be around _you_, in a small dirty cell, that is located god only knows where!" The voice snapped.

Sands growled. "_Fuck_, girly, I'm stuck _here_ with _you_!"

"NO, _I'm_ stuck here with _you_! The worlds biggest bastard that _ever_ lived!" She replied.

Sand rubbed the back of his head. He had been bleeding, brilliant, just brilliant. "Fuck off, girly, or I'll-"

"Kill me, _right_! With what, may I ask. Your bare hands? Oh, now  
I'm shaking _my_ ass off! They took your gun, you know." She sighed.  
"Face it Sands, killing, _won't_ help this time. Where stuck, till my stepdad makes me get his money back."

Sand razed a eyebrow. "And after that?"

"We probably die." She answered. "But _first_ we get the silent treatment, so it could be awhile."

"And that would be…"

Lizz sighted. "And _you_ say _you_ are from the CIA-I-use-to-torture-people! It means he leaves us here a couple of days, maybe weeks, so we that we become afraid of what is going to happen. And being here with _you, locked up all day,_ won't make that to hard. And after those days or weeks, _hell_, I dunno what he will do."

"Well, I can't imaging what can be worse then being locked up with _you_, so whatever it is, it can't be _that_ bad."

"Oh, just die _already_ you self-pitying jerk! If you weren't such an _ass_ in the first place, you could have shot those guys, Carlos and Marcus, and we wouldn't even be here!" She snapped back.

"And if you, hadn't helped me to _start_ with, I wouldn't be here!" Sands yelled.

"Well, _sorry_ for caring someone other than myself! If you had cared for once or twice in you're life, maybe you wouldn't have turned out to be the uncaring, ignorant, and sarcastic _bastard_ that you are now!" She screamed.

"I _LIKE_ being an uncaring, ignorant, and sarcastic bastard!" Sands screamed at the top of his lungs. "Better than being a _naïve_, fucked up _hippie_ girl like you!"

"At leased no one calls _me_ a freak…" She whispered.

Sand clenched his jaw. That one was below the belt. And the worst part was that she was right and she knew it.

They both went quiet, silently cursing the other. Lizz looked around. She hadn't lied when she had said the cell was small and dirty. The walls where once white but now they were some sort of grey. There was a door made of heavy iron with a small window, covered with dust. There where two small bed also made of the same iron as the door. There were no blankets or pillows, probably the genius idea of her stepdad.

Slowly she looked at Sands, who looked cranky and stressed. She rolled her eyes. This was going to be hell. Being around him, all day long, in a room of maybe seven by four, what could be worse than that!

And as if god had heard her, the light switched off. She jump up and started to panic. "Put the lights back on!"

"What's wrong!" Sands asked, sounding a little stressed, because of her panicked voice.

"The _lights_, they turned the _lights_ off!" She started to sob.

"That's _it_! You're panicking because it's a little bit dark!" He said with a sarcastic tone.

"For _your_ information, it's not a little bit dark, it's totally dark! I   
can't see a _damn_ thing!"

"Welcome to my world, luv." He whispered.

Lizz stopped walking around and looked at the direction of Sands voice. Somehow she had forgotten that this was all he saw, all day long. Suddenly she felt very sorry for the CIA agent. She couldn't imagine how it must feel, to be surrounded by darkness, every second of your life. The more she thought about it, the more sadness she felt for Sands. She cursed herself for reminding him of the freak-issue.

Sands sat on a bed and rested his head against the cold wall. He still felt a little bit dizzy from the smack on his head, but he'll live.

_Ain't, __that__ the problem, Shel? You're STILL alive…_

He didn't want to respond to the voice. He didn't want to think of what it was saying. But since there wasn't much else to do in the small cell…

_Good, seeing that I got your attention… I wanted to talk about this whole being-still-around-problem. What is it with __you__You__ should be dead right now!_

If I die, smartass, I'll probably go to hell.

_At least, in hell you could see things. And the place where you are now, isn't it hell already?_

You've got a point…

_Good! I knew you would listen! Now, go do what I told you before!_

But they took my gun! What can I do if I don't have a fucking gun! "Shit!" He hissed. Now that he thought about it… He had lost _his_ gun. _His_ gun! He had that piece of metal for over a decade. It was the only thing in his life he could count on to be there if he needed it. It was the one thing that could protect him against his enemies. He felt as if he had his lost his best friend.

"RAT!" The girl started to scream so suddenly that Sands jumped out of his thoughts. "Can you _please_, shut up!" He yelled. She didn't stop screaming, as if she ever did what he told her to do. But that wasn't the worst part…

Before Sands knew what was happening, two arms were around his neck and she was practically sitting on his lap. "I HATE RATS!" She screamed in his ear.

The whole thing nearly gave Sands a heart attack. For a guy who didn't like to be around other people this was to sudden and to...cuddly.

_Wish I could make a picture from this moment, wouldn't that make a niceChristmas card…_

Shut up!

He tried to push the girl away, but she wouldn't let go, it was like she was glued around his neck. Sands started to panic because the girl was extremely close, and then there was the not-having-his-gun problem. Fortunaly he found his old self again.

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ! What is _your_ fucking problem!" Again he tried to pull her off. "LET.ME.GO!"

But she didn't give in. "NO.I.WON'T!" And her grip tightened.

"WHY NOT?" He yelled, now very stressed and very pissed off.

"_Because_, there is a rat on the floor, and _your_ the highest object in the room. And you smell very, _very_ bad, so that thing will attack you first." She explained like it was the most logical thing in the world.

"I _don't_ fucking care! And LET.ME.GO!" This time he grabbed her arm and twisted it, until she FINALLY let go.

"AUW!" She screamed, pulling her arms back. This gave Sands time to push her off, and he heard her land on the floor next to the bed. "And I _don't_ smell!" He added.

"Yes, _you_ do! You smell like blood, gunpowder and sweat. _Believe_ me, it hard to miss in this small cell."

Sands gritted his teeth. "I don't smell, so fuck off and shut up. Or I'll hurt you."

"Like, _you_ could get me." Her tone sounded challenging and childish.

"Like _you_ could run away." He replied.

She sighted. "Fine, have it _your_ way." She went quiet.

Sands grinned victoriously. He beat her and he didn't even have to threaten her, much. Now that was an accomplishment! He was starting to feel a lot better. It is strange how such small things can make you feel so much better.

To bad the rat was still around. He heard a squeaking sound, a loud scream and within a second the girl was back around his neck. "I swear that evil _beast_ trying to kill me!"

"I _wish_ that animal would hurry up! _Christ_, keep your claws off of me!" He pushed her away. "You can sit here, but that's it! But don't _touch_ me!" Somehow he knew she rolled her eye's.

"Fine, I _won't_ 'touch you, jeez, since when have _you_ been so prudish!" She moved up a little. "With that _bitch_ in that bar you where _alot_ friendlier."

Sands started to get major urge to throw things at her head. Heavy,  
pointy things... very painful things… The problem was that there weren't any of those things around. " That's because-" He took a second to think. "Let's put it this way, your a very annoying, icky, talk-to-much little girl. And I'm very pissed off already. Also I am _not_ in the mood to anyone, especially some little immature girl. Finally, I _want_ to be left alone! So that means you have to shut up, stay where you are and _fuck_ off, understand!"

"Okay, _great_ answer." She said offended. And thank _god_, she went  
silent.

Sands, ready to throw a party, leaned back against the wall and relaxed. All he wanted to do now was sleep and forget everything that had ever happened to him.

"Sands?"

_Fucking_ Christ! What was it with this kid! Maybe ignoring her would help, since screaming, threatening and shooting didn't work.

"Sands?... Sands?" Her voice started to sound inpatient. "SANDS!"

Clearly ignoring her wasn't the answered. "WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT NOW!"

"I'm cold, can I have your jacket?"

"No _fucking_ way."

"But I'm _still_ wearing the outfit from the bar! I'm cold!"

"Your problem, not mine."

"Don't be a jerk! _You_ made me wear this outfit and it's _your_ fault we're here, so gimmy _your_ jacket." She wined. "I'll keep on screaming if you don't!"

"You know what, here, _have_ my fucking jacket. Why not take _everything_ I have left on me! I _don't_ care anymore! Hopefully I'll freeze to death! Because that was the thing I was planning to do since the _fucking_ moment everything went wrong, fell out off balance and those fuckmooks _took_ my eyes!" He pulled off his jacket and threw it in her direction. "Hope your _fucking_ happy, goodnight!" He jump up, walked to the other bed and collapsed on it.

He was so tired of his life and all the _shit_ that was part of it.

**Okay, it's impossible for Sands to open up. Every time I try he get's all sarcastic, irritated and dangerous. And I think that he will fall out of character if suddenly he starts crying ( if he could) and starts confessing his feelings( And maybe it's hard because Lizz is getting on his nerves )**

Please review

Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.

-TBC-


	15. Confessions

**Warning: This chapter may be R. There will be violence, flashbacks, attempted suicide, child abuse and other nasty stuff. So if you don't like it don't read it.**

**Many thanks to Fanfiction-fanatic for Beta reading. God bless you:D**

**And thanks to: Linkin Park: A place in my head, Crawling, From the inside, runaway. And Evanescence, Tourniquet, Going under and going under. And last but not leased Intwine, Cruel man.This where the song I was listening, when I wroth this chapter. Mucis rules. **

Chapter 15) Confessions.

_He got pushed under water by strong hands. His eyes shot opened, __water__, everywhere he looked, only __water__. He tried to escape the hands that held him under. But every movement he made, the hands held him stronger. _

"_You_ _can't escape your punishment this time you weak little __shit__! This time __you__ will pay!" The bad evil man yelled furious. _

He tried to scream for help. He couldn't take it any longer, his lungs where screaming for air. Everywhere around him black spots started to appear .

Then finally he got dragged up again. He gagged fell on the bathroom floor and tried to breath without feeling the burning in his lungs. Everything around him was blurry like he was going to faint.

The bad evil man kicked him in the ribs so he rolled over and looked him in the face. Dark and drunk eyes looked menacingly into his. "Did you learn your lesson Sheldon!"

He started to cry. "Yes, daddy, I will never spill milk again, please don't do that again, I'll be good I swear, please don't do that again daddy!"

The bad evil man chuckled. "Not convincing enough Sheldon!"

"_No__ daddy PLEASE!_

"NO!" Sand panted. He held his head. "_Please_, NO!" His whole body hurt like he was feeling it all over again. "_No_ please, _don't_ please!" He sobbed.

Slowly Lizz woke up from the sounds. Lazy she opened one eye, only to look in the dirty cell. But this time it was not so dark because blue light was shining threw the small window. She moaned. "Oh, yeah, _still_ in the cell, _still_ in the dark, _still_ with big jerk." She sat up and wondered were the noise was coming from. That couldn't be Sands, could it?

"Sands?" She called.

"Go away, leave me alone!"

A surprising answered, she thought sarcastic. "Sands?" She stood up. "Hey, listen, if you're still mad that I took you're jacket, you can have it back, no problem." Slowly she walk in his direction. "Sands?"

"Please, I'll be good, not the belt, _please_!" His voice was trembling.

What the hell was he talking about, Lizz wondered. "Sands, c'mon don't play games." Carefully she touched his shoulder to know where he sat.

Immediately he backed up against the wall as far as he could. "_Please_ don't hurt me, I'll be good, _please_ don't hurt me again daddy!" He begged.

Lizz's eyes grew wide. He sounded terrified. Why didn't he act annoyed or bored, like he always did. "Sands, it's Lizz. You know that girl you always yell at?" She sat next to him. "C'mon whatever you're doing snap out of it, please." Again she touched his shoulder. She felt him tense and he breath very fast. "It's okay, I wont hurt you." She whispered gentle.

Her words didn't help a bit. He started to tremble and held his head with both hands. "_Please_, make him go away, I don't want to see that anymore! That's over, I _can't_ help it, I _can't_ make it go away. I'm really sorry, _so_ sorry!"

Lizz pushed his hands away and wished she could look into his eyes. "Sands, listen to me. There is no one here _except_ me and you."

"_No_, that's not true." He whispered. "_He's_ here." Slowly he pointed at his head. "Again. And…" He rubbed his forehead. "And, I _can't_ make him go away."

Lizz's eyes narrowed. She didn't like this a bit. From the first moment she met Sands she understood that he was a little mentally unstable. But this scared her. He was truly terrified of something or someone. And she didn't know what she should do or how to react.

"OH GOD!" he screamed. With both of his hands were slammed against his forehead. "I won't _let_ you take the best of me, _go_ away!" He shook his head. "_No_, no...NO! that's _not_ true and you know it!" He turned around. "No I'm not! You can say I am, but I'm _not_, so leave me alone!" He sighed. " Shut up! SHUT UP! Go away! FUCK YOU! Shut up! Go away!" He started to beat himself in the face.

Lizz looked at Sands, she was terrified. She knew she had to do something fast, or he was going to kill himself. Without further thinking she grabbed both fist. Because of her sudden touch Sands yelped, and tried to pull loose. "Let me go! Let _me_ go! Don't touch me!"

For a man that was wounded and losing his mind he was still very strong. Lizz had to use all her strength to not let him loose. "Sands! _Listen_ to me!" But he didn't seemed to hear her, he just continued struggling. She had to do something fast before this got out of hand.

"_Listen_. You're Sheldon Jeffery Sands. You've worked for the Central Intelligence Agency." Quickly she tried to think of what else she knew about him and found at that, _that_, was pretty much it. But she had gotten his attention. He stopped struggling and seemed to listen to what she was saying. She continued. "My full name is Elizabeth Maria Carmen Cecilia, but people call me Lizz. And you call me, well everything except that."

Sands fists unclenched. He shook his head slowly and looked down. 'You're Lizzy-o, you talk to much and you're scared of rats, _right_?"

"Yes, and thanks for remembering all my bad qualities." She let his hands go. "You scared the shit out of me. _What_ happened?"

Sands pulled a hand through his greasy hair. "Can't remember."

"Can't remember, or don't _want_ to remember?" Lizz asked looking straight at Sands. He looked the other way and remained silent.

A couple minutes past, before Lizz dared to continue. "Sands, tell me what happened. You begged me not to hurt you. You screamed that someone other than me was in this room. And whoever _that_ is, ain't going away."

She couldn't be sure but she though she saw a shiver run through his body. "_Why_ should I tell _you_ anything! What makes you think that I would tell you something about… about _this_." He pointed at his head.

"Because, I think, you've held _it_ in long enough, and _it's_ tearing you apart." She answered.

Sands bit his lower lip. She was right, she was so very right. But he  
couldn't tell her. He once tried to tell his teacher when _he_ broke his arm for the third time in a half year. But he couldn't tell. Somehow the words didn't fit right. And even thinking about it made him feel exposed. And that was all before he turned eighteen and… Suddenly he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Listen, Sands, we're trapped between four walls of cold steel. And in a couple of days we're _probably_ dead. So let it out. I _won't_ tell  
anyone." She reassured. "And." She pushed his chin up so she was looking in his face. "I _won't_ think any less of you."

Somehow he felt a little bit touched by what she had just said. He slowly nodded and took a deep breath.

"When I was about four my mom die. I never found out exactly what she died from, but one day she had to go to the hospital. She told me everything was all fine and she would be back soon." Sands smiled. "She even told me she would buy the big red fire truck I wanted so badly, when she came back. But she _never_ came back. A week after she left a doctor called and asked me and my dad to come to the hospital. My dad _wasn't_… able to go, so I took the bus. I remember that it was snowing that day. When I got to the hospital, they told me that… they told me that my mom had _died_."

_Flashback _

White walls, white floors, and men in white everywhere. Slowly he walked down a hall not knowing what to expect. What had happened to her? Why was she here? She wasn't sick, and this place is for sick people. For people who would soon die . That was what the bad evil man always said. He didn't like it here. He wanted to go home, back to his safe room, so he could play with his toys and let her make chocolate milk for him. Like she always did if he was a good boy.

"Sheldon J. Sands? A voice spook to him. Quickly he turned around to see a man in white looking at him. 'Y-yes." He answered, not knowing what to expect.

"Sheldon, I have some very bad news for you." The man in white said. He saw pity in the man's eyes. He didn't like it, didn't like it at all. Where was his mommy? Why did that man look so strange?

"Sheldon, I'm so _sorry__ to tell you this, __but__ your mom… She died a couple of hours ago."  
_  
_His world was smashed into pieces. "No, that's __not__ true!" He started to cry. "Where is she! She can't leave me here! I want her back! I __want__ my mommy back!" He looked furiously at the man and kicked his shin. "You made her go away, I HATE you! I HATE this place !I never want to be here AGAIN!" _

End Flashback.

He tried to keep his voice under control. "I was four, and they told me my mommy would _never_ come back." Sands shook his head trying not to think of the white walls again. "But _that_ wasn't the worsted part. You see, my dad, he _wasn't_ a very good man. I've never understood why my mom married that _bastard_. He drank very often, and got fired from every job he got. And he took it out on mom. Sometimes he tried to take it out on me, but mom, she always defended me. But then, she was _gone_ and I had no other place to go." He stopped and tried to push the images away.

"He…. Did so _many_ nasty things to me back then." He whispered. His hands turned into fist again. "_Very_ nasty things. At first he only yelled at me and told me that mom die because I was such a lousy kid. After a while he started to punish me for small things that I _couldn't_ help. For being coming home from school. I was _four_ and I had to walk to school, it wasn't my fault."

He took a moment to breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking. "I was _six_ when he broke two of my ribs. It was because I asked why Santa didn't bring me any presents. He got mad, told me I was a _worthless_ and a _weak_ brat. I wasn't _good_ enough to get any presents. It went from bad to worse though. I still have scars on my back from _his_ belt, and I'm scared of water because he nearly _drowned_ me. To top it all off, I'm also an emotional wreck."

Sands started to laugh. "And the strangest thing is, _every_ time he did something to me, _I_ thought _I_ deserved it. I thought that I really was that nasty, _weak_ kid, he told me I was. Because, you have got to be a _bad_ person for your _own_ dad to did things like that to you. So I never told anyone, never complained about anything, and I _never_ ran away. Because he was the only one who would care for me, the shitty, _horrible_ little boy."

_Flashback  
He tried not to breath, not to move. His head was spinning. But that was nothing compared to his back. With every movement he made, ever breath that he took, it felt like his back was being sliced open. Tears rolled down his cheek. Why did the bad evil man always hurt him so much. Maybe he was a nasty boy like the bad evil man always told him he was. Maybe that was why mom had die, because he did something so wrong she had to pay for it. _

_But what did he do so very wrong? And why did she go away? Why didn't he go away. Why didn't he just vanish, so no one would have to suffer for the things he did. And...so he didn't have to suffer for the things the bad evil man did._

_End Flashback._

He took a deep breath. "That fucker made me feel so fucking low, so numb. I was nothing, a nobody, not good enough to be treated like a human being. But I beat the fucker, eventually. When I turned eighteen I bought a gun and drove home. There I waited for him to come home from the bar and then...I shot him. Back then, I wasn't a very good shot, so the first time I only hit him in the knee." He paused for a moment as if he was remembering.

Then he grinned. "_He_ told me _he_ was going to kill me for real this time. To bad..._I_ had the gun, _I_ was in control this time. You have no idea how powerful I felt at that moment. I had beat him, he _knew_ it...I _knew_ it. I shot him three times in the chest. As he was dying, I walked over to him and kicked him in the ribs while looking the _fucker_ in the eyes. 'Did you learn your lesson, _fuckmook_!' I asked. He looked back at me and I saw that he _was_ scared. Wait _skip_ that, he _was_ shitting his pants. _He_ was terrified. I remember what he said. He said: ' Please, _don't_ kill me, Shel, _please_ don't'. He _begged_ me not to shoot him. That felt so _fucking_ good. ' Not convincing enough', I told him. Then I shoot right through his head. The bad evil man, who had made me feel like shit, was _dead_."

_Flashback.  
He wiped the blood off of his hands. "So that's __it__, you __fuckmook__I__ did it! __I_ _won, I beat you, I shot you, I murdered you. You're dead and I'm still standing." He hissed looking at his dead father. He kicked the body in the ribs. _

_"And you know what, I don't feel a damn thing. No regret, no guilt, no  
anything." He smirked and then his eyes darked. " This must be sick, but I feel very, no, extremely happy. I wish I had done this a long time ago." _

_He lighted a cigarette and inhaled. " I won, fuckmook."_

_End flashback._

Sands thought back at that moment. That was the most freeing moment of his life. "After that I put the gun safely between my belt, I grabbed a bottle of tequila, and I just walked to the car and drove away. It was night and I had know idea where I was going. I just drank, drove and listened to the radio. I also didn't have a fucking idea what I should do. If the cops found me I would go the jail for the rest of my life and I had nowhere to go. But with the radio on and a bottle tequila in my hand, I didn't gave a fuck about what  
would happen. I also didn't gave a fuck about the speedlimit and drinking and driving at the same time. And that was the stupidest mistake I have ever made, even stupider than the whole eye thing. That night I crashed into another car. I had nothing but a few cuts and bruzes but the other car… There was a little boy in that car with his mom. It could have been me and my mom. I had killed them. It was then that I realised that I was as bad as my dad."

_Flashback.  
Shocked he looked at the two dead bodies. One was that of a little boy, the other, the boys mother. "__Jesus Christ__, what have I done…" _

Slowly he stepped out of his car. His eyes focused on the little boy, he walked over to the other car. "Jesus, _fucking__, Christ. I __killed__ them. I __killed__ a little boy and his mom." _

He collapsed on the asphalt. He slammed his fists into the ground until his hands where bleeding. "I _can't__ live with that." Then, slowly he picked up a piece of broke glass. _

End Flashback.

"After a couple minutes the police found me, sitting against a tree, cutting my _own_ wrists. I got locked up in a mental institution for _three_years. The first few days nearly killed me. I heard voices, I saw my dad everywhere. I got very bad headaches and I didn't know what was real and what was not. The doctors told me I was schizophrenic, that I needed _therapy_ and _medications_ for the rest of my life. _Bullshit_, I'm not sick, I just _need_ to stay incontrol. I _need_ to have the upper hand in every situation. And I _need_ to be calm, that's all. Then the voices and headaches started to go away and everything was fine."

_Flashback _

_"Sheldon, why did you do that? Why did you kill that little boy and his mom! I didn't raise you like that! I thought you where better than your dad!" _

_"MOM!" He looked around, but all he saw where white walls. He noticed his arms where tied. He looked better and saw he was in a jacket. All his muscles tightened. Pain shot throw his body, and his head felt like it was going to explode. "God, make it stop!" He slammed his head against the pillow wall behind him. "God, someone, please make it stop!" He sobbed. _

_"That's for killing me, you filthy piece of shit. Did you really think you could get away with this! Did you think I wouldn't find you and make you pay! I swear Sheldon, I'll make you pay!" _

_"No, god, no! Please go away! All of you!" He screamed trying to banish the voices. _

_End flashback._

He nodded. "After a couple of weeks I started to see reality again. I remembered what I had done, and I knew that it would haunt me forever. I also knew I had to get the fuck out of that institution. So quickly I learned what the dear olddoctors wanted me to say. I acted like I felt very guilty about killing my dad and I told them that I had seen the light. Those idiots believed everything and within a year I was out of the institution. Again I had no idea what I should do with my life, but I knew one thing for sure. I needed a job that would take over my life, a job that would give me a chance to show myself what I was capable of. I wanted a job that would make me be in control. So I joined the fucking CIA, pissed them off  
more than once, and finally got sent to Mexico. And that my dear Lizzy-O, is MY fucked up life story."

**Thank god, he opened up! Now that wasn't so hard, now was it! ... Okay, so maybe it was, but I wanted to gave him a good reason to be the man he is today. The untrusting, uncaring, bastard he is. I mean he felt like he had killed himself and his mother ( car accident), That he was as evil as his dad had been. **

I could talk about this for sixty pages, but I'll keep it short, because I  
have to go to school in a half hour.

So please review, 'cause I'm not finished with Sand yet.

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow **

-TBC-


	16. Jingle Bells

**Many, many, MANY thanks to my beta-reader fanfiction fanatic! ( I love the name of the chapter !) **

**And thanks to ****Rogue-Pirate**** and ****Elvish dreams**

**Chapter 16) Jingle Bells.**

Lizz was shocked. She had thought Sands had been a spoiled brat, with rich parents. One who had dropped out of high school, not knowing what to do with his boring life, and on a whim decided to join the CIA thinking he could get rich quick, manipulate others and have fun killing people. But _this_… _this_ didn't sound like Sands, the bastard, the ass, the jerk with the cocky attitude. It seemed so surreal that he, the guy who couldn't care less, once had known fear, hurt, pain, loss and guilt.

He had once been a little boy, crying for his gone mom, _begging_ for his dad not to hurt him. But his dad _had_ hurt him, more than he would _ever_ admit. His dad had taken his innocence, his trust, and broken them piece by piece. Lizz thought of her own dad. She had loved him. It had divested her when he had left. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if he had beat her or treated her the way his father had.

She looked at him. He was sitting next to her, looking down, trying to breath in a relaxed manner. His hand where still shaking a little and were still balled into fist. He was waiting for her respond, she noticed. But she had no idea how to react, or what to say. What could she say: Gosh I'm so sorry for you? He would kill her for real is she said that. He _didn't_ want pity, but the big question was, what _did_ he want?

She got kicked out of her thoughts when suddenly Sands tilted his head up and screamed. "FUCKING CHRIST, IT HURTS!" He gasped. He hit himself in the face. "No, _no_, NO! FUCK YOU!" Again he held his head and stopped breathing. A shiver went through him. "Oh, GOD! PLEASE make _it_ STOP!" He started to sob, like he was crying. He dug his nails into his face so that it started to bleed. Lizz's eyes grew wide and finally she managed to stand up. She pulled his hands away from his face.

"Sands, stop it! Knock it off!" But he wasn't listening. He tried to kick her and started to scream again. This ain't going to work, Lizz thought. She raised her hand and hit him on the cheek. Immediately he stopped kicking and made himself as small as possible. He looked deathly afraid of her.

"Please, daddy, don't hurt me. I'm _sorry_, I'm _sorry_! I'll be good." She looked at him in silents, cursing herself for being such an idiot.

"Sands, It's Lizz, that little girl. _Not_ your dad, calm down." Slowly he nodded. "Okay, Sands, listen, has this… _thing_ happened before? What do you normally do to stop it?" He rubbed over his face.

"With… medicines, very _strong_ medicines. Anti… antipsychotic."

"Okay, but I don't have a first aid kit or anything, is there something else?" He looked away and shook his head.

"Nope, nothing I can think of. Normally I keep cool, stay sharp and that's it. It's been over six years since I have taken any medications." Lizz bit her lower lip.

"C'mon there _must_ be something else. What did the doctors say?"

He grinned.

"You really think I would listen to the doctors? Man, your _fucked_ up, girly!" His grin disappeared and his jaws clenched. "_Fuck_! Fucking headaches!" He sighed. "_Christ_, why can't I end right now? Is that to _fucking_ much to ask!"

"_Don't_ talk like that." Lizz whispered.

"Why not? Give me _one_ good reason to live this fucked up life." He glared at her.

"Your pride..._You_ always have to win, and death means _you_ lose." She answered.

He shrugged. "Like I give a fuck. My pride is gone. I _am_ blind, I _am_ a freak, there is _nothing_ to be proud of anymore." She looked at him and took a moment gather courage for what she was going to say.

"Then… your _dad_ wins." Slowly he looked up at her.

"_What_ did you say!" His voice was low and full of pain.

"He will have finally beat you. He wanted to make you feel _weak_. And now you are _acting_ weak." She replied. He pointed as her.

"YOU!" He stopped and thought about what she had said. He thought back to all the times he had _let_ the bad evil man beat him, had _let_ him win. But in the end _he_ had won, and his 'dad' would _never_ win again. He didn't say that out loud of course. He didn't want that damn little girl to go loco because she was right and he was wrong. The only thing he did was lowering his accusing finger. "Fine have it you're way."

"_Finally_ some cooperation!" He knew she was smiling. Times like this made him want to shoot her. How _dare_ she act so cavalier about what he had just told her. Still, it's better than pity. She better _not_ pity him, or at least not make it obvious.

"_Sheldon, why did you do that? Why did you __kill__ that little boy and his mom! I didn't raise you like that! I thought you where better than your dad!" _

"_Did you learn your __lesson__ Sheldon!" _

"_Sheldon, I have some __very__ bad news for you…" _

"_Not convincing __enough__ Sheldon!"_

Unbearable pain shot through his brain. "SHIT!" He hissed. He'd never had this bad of a headache before. On the other hand he didn't normally have this kind of attack or psychosis, as the good doctors called it. They told him that if he took a red pill and two green pills every morning and evening, _everything_ would be alright. But...of course he _didn't_ listen to the doctors .

He wanted to be in control of _every_ last detail in his 'new' life. No pills for Sheldon Jeffery Sands. It took him half a year to stop with the pills and control his mind. The first few weeks had been hell. He saw many terrifying things, like his dead father, people with chain saws, and pink fluffy bunny's with _fangs_ the size of his underarm. And don't forget the voices, oh no he _couldn't_ forget the voices. The ones that told him _horrible_ things, told him to hang himself. But he had made it. He had banished all of the wicked things out of his mind and won, again

And now, when he was permanently in the dark, the voices had come back. All three of them, _his_ dad, _his_ mom and _his_ conscience or at least that's what he though it was. And he _knew_ why. He had let his control slip away.

"_You fucked up, Shel, you __really__ fucked up!" _

"_I'd wanted to kill you myself, Sheldon, but I __see__ that someone else will do that dirty job for me…" _

"_Like I said, Shel, you __so__ fucked it up!" _

"_They __will__ hurt you, Sheldon! Worse then I ever did! And __you__ can't do a thing about it! __You__ know you can't! __You__ will die as a blind, broken man, Sheldon, I...have __won__!" _

"_My __god__ your pathetic!" _

"SANDS!" He jumped up because of the sudden scream. He heard the girl smirk.

"WHAT!"

"If your not to busy _talking_ to yourself, I _may_ find it possible to tell you that I heard something."

"_Great_, you're hearing voices too? Welcome to the club." He said sarcastically.

"Very funny, Sands, _really_…" She stood up and walked away, probably to the door. "_Listen_, there it is again." Sands stood up and focused his hearing. He heard the girl's breathing, and another sound...jingling.

"What the _fuck_ is that?"

"Beat's me. But I don't like it." She stood closer to him. "I think someone is coming." He felt her hand around his wrist. She was shaking. "I _don't_ want _him_ to get me. I _don't_." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Not like he cared of course, but soon he would be dead, so it would be a good idea to act like he cared. To pay her back. Yeah, that's it, nothing more.

The jingling sound came closer. Sands frowned. That sound… he had heard that before, but where? He listened, deep in thought. Yes, he had defiantly heard that sound before. All at once the headache came back, even worse than before.

"_Fuck_, not now!" His knees buckled due to the pain. Before he knew it he was on the floor. The jingling stopped in front of the door. A key turned in the lock and the door was slammed open. The girl behind him yelled and her breath quickened. As the footsteps grew closer the jingling got louder.

"Sands?" A low voice with a Mexican accent asked. Sands' jaw dropped, but he recovered fast. "Long time no _see_ El."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

El's eyes grew wider when he saw the young woman crying in the corner. But his own jaw dropped when he saw Sands. He was on the floor and his skin was extremely pale, but he still had his trade mark sarcasm plastered on his face. He frowned.

"_What_ are YOU doing here!" Slowly the CIA agent looked up.

"That's just what _I_ wanted to ask you." El didn't bother to answer.

"You two _know_ each other?" El just like Sands looked up at the girl.

"Knowing, _isn't_ the right word, luv." Sands glared over at El. "We did some _business_ together. But HE!" He pointed at El. "Fucked _everything_ up! _I_" He then pointed at himself. "_I_ had to do all the work and _I_ didn't get one lousy pesos! Unlike _him... he _walked away with twenty million pesos!"

The girl looked up at him with big eyes.

"Wow, how did you manage to do _that_!" El immediately wanted to say that he _hadn't_ stolen the money, (well alright maybe he _had_, a small part...but he had given it to charity.) but Sands interrupted him.

"Can we _please_ start working on a way to get out of here!" He snapped at the girl, sounding tired and pissed off. Instinctive El brushed over his gun. With Sands you never know.

"_Sure_, take it out on me. Does it make you _feel_ powerful...does it make you _feel_ in control? She rolled her eyes.

"DON'T talk to me like that!" he sounded very dangerous.

'Whatever', she mimed and stuck out her tongue. El looked questioningly at Sands. Why didn't he do something? If the rumours where true, and they probably where, Sands had killed a guy, not so long ago, for asking him why he was wearing a fake moustache. So why did he let the girl talk to him like that?

"So..._who_ are you?" The girl asked.

"El." He answered shortly.

"El , _what_?"

"_Just_ El."

"Oh, c'mon El, just tell her your the _godforsaken_ El Mariachi. Or else she's gonna ask about it till you blow your _own_ brain out." Sands voice was dripping with irritation. The girl gave him an angry look. Then she looked at El with surprised eyes .

"Are you _really THE _ El Mariachi?" He simply nodded.

"Si." Her eyes grew even wider. "Woah! You're a _legend_! Did you _really_ kill all those Cartels? Or is that _just_ a rumour? If not, then you killed almost a city as large as Los Angeles. But that _can't_ be right? Because it's just to many people. And you're not as _big_ as I thougt and-"

"-Can you _please_, SHUT UP...your annoying shrill voice is-" He sighed in frustration." I _swear_, one day I'll-" Sands hissed.

"-_Yes_ I GET THE POINT, I'll shut up!" She interrupted him looking offended.

He glared at her.

"So, almighty El, what brings _you_ here?" El's frown deepened.

"You're not in the position to ask questions." Sands went a little bit paler.

"And what, _exactly _,is that suppose to mean?" El cracked his knuckles.

"Don't play stupid. They told me what _you_ did!" He walked to Sands and gruffly pulled him up. Because Sands was a bit smaller then El he was hanging in the air. Sand yelped and tried to pull loose, with no affect El was much stronger. El looked pleased as he watched the struggling CIA agent.

He hadn't liked the guy since the first time he had spoken to him. He was cocky and he was more arrogant and self serving than any other being he had ever met. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head a little and saw the girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but exactly _what_ did Sands do?" She looked up at Sands. "Because other than being a pain in the _ass_ and killing bad guys he hasn't done anything wrong." She giggled softly. "Okay... maybe he _did_ do a couple of things." El was surprised.

"You _know_ him?" He asked with a gesture towards Sands. She nodded.

"Kinda." He analyzed the girl. Her face was covered with smudge of lipstick and her mascara had formed dark circles around her eyes. She looked scared but also very interested. She had blonde unkept hair, it looked like she hadn't gotten a decent hair cut in over a year. Even with make up on she still looked young, around sixteen he guessed.

"_So_ can you let him go?" She pleaded. "He didn't do anything, _that_ wrong."

El gritted his teeth.

"He _killed_ two innocent farmers, _murdered_ ten men, shot his gun empty in a full bar and _stole_ 1.8 million from the man who hired me. And that's just al he had don since the coup." The girl defiantly crossed her arms.

"Were _you_ there when that happened?" She asked. He wondered where this was going.

"No." He answers curtly.

"Did _you_ talk to any witnesses."

"No."

"Then how can _you_ be so sure that _he_ did those things?" She replied. El was silent for a second.

"Because it sounds just like the things _he_ would do." He looked at the CIA agent. "I _know_ he would. He's will do _anything_ to get what he wants."

"You bet I would." Sands almost spit in his face. "I would kill every _fucker_ in the world if I waned what they had." Rage stirred in El. He pushed the agent against the wall and his grip became stronger.

"People like _you_ are the ones who have corrupted Mexico!"

"Well, that's what's keeping the balance is _all_ about El. _Christ_ where have you been?" He smirked.

"Malo gringo!" El hissed. He then raised his fist. "_You_ are _not_ going to get away with the things _you_ have done.." But before he could hit Sands, he started to scream. El, shocked, let Sands go and the man fell on the ground.

"Oh _fuck_, fucked up _fucking_ FUCK!" He yelled, as he started to shake as he held his head. El stared at the man withering on the floor. What the? He turned to the girl, she too looked shocked.

"What's wrong with him!" The girl stopped staring at Sands. Her cheeks turned red.

"He is… they gave him some horrible drug to keep him calm." She walked over to Sands and kneeled. She shook his shoulders. "Sands, _please..._try to breath." She helped him sit up. "It will be okay, _please_...try to calm down." The man's shaking increased as he lifted his head.

"_He's_ here, _he's_ going to get me, _get_ me back!" He gasped.

"_No_, he's not." She told him, holding his shoulders. She looked over at El. "Can _you_ help him? _Please!"_

**This was it again. I was a little nervous with putting El in the story, but Sands and El, those two are just a perfect couple. And I wanted a third point of view for the story. **

**Anyway, I'm going to writh again, revieuws, are ALWAYS welcome!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	17. Fate's a funny thing

**Thanks to: ****Elvish dreams****( I like that you like my story) and ****Rogue-Pirate**** ( I hope you will make that sequel/additional!) **

**AND of course many,many,many thanks to my beta-reader fanfiction fanatic!**

**Chapter 17) Fate's a funny thing.**

El curiously looked at the girl. She was trying to help the CIA agent, but why? The man was bad, no _evil_. Ever since the first time he had looked in Sands cold eyes El had _known_ he was a murder. She had told him that she 'kinda' knows him, so why if she only 'kinda' knows him, is she trying to help him?

"Hey, are you going to just _stand_ there like a statue, or are you going to help!" El blinked. Then he looked into the girls eyes.

"_Why_ are you so adamant on trying to help him?" He asked pointing at Sands.

"Because _he_ saved me. And I will _not_ leave him behind." There was a determined gleam in her eyes. "And you have to help me, _please_?" She pleaded. "I'll pay you, I swear!"

Somehow she reminded him of his daughter. His innocent daughter, who had never had a chance to explore the world and grow up. He remembered the day when she had brought a sick bird home. 'El papá, usted lo puede ayudar?', she had asked him desperately.

And they had fixed the bird. They kept him in a box and fed him , and after a couple weeks they set him free. 'Hace él mosca a su familia, papá ?', she had asked cheerfully while the bird flew into the blue sky. 'Sí, él hace,' he smiled.

Maybe fate had brought him here.

"Alright, I'll help. _But_ if he-" He gestured to Sands. "-Tries _anything_, I'll make him pay." She smiled.

"Thanks!" She placed a hand on her heart. "I _swear_ he won't try anything!"

"Good." He picked up Sands, who looked to be unconscious. He twitched a little and mumbled something, but he did not make a fuss.

"Follow me." He told the girl. "And be quiet." She simply nodded.

What the _hell_ am I doing? El questioned himself. He was getting paid to convince these two 'traitors' to cooperated with his boss. And now was he was _helping_ Sands to escape! _Sands_, for crying out loud! But your not doing it for him, he reminded himself. You're helping an innocent girl, a girl like your daughter. If he helped her he could always make Sands pay , or restore the balance as Sands so wonderfully puts it, later.

He opened the door and looked into the large hallway. There wouldn't be people coming for more then a hour. 'So he could do what he wanted with the traitors', Marcus had said, with an evil grin on his lips. He hated the man. El, himself, didn't like to hurt other people, even people who deserve it. He had never liked it, and the same goes for killing, it just isn't right.

But that man, Marcus, he loved it, El could tell just by looking in his eyes. At that moment he wondered whether what he was going to do is right.

"Where _are_ we going!" The girl asked suspiciously, looking around her and only seeing cold metal walls. El didn't answer, the truth was that he wasn't exactly sure on that aspect of their escape. He growled and repositioned Sands again. For a men who looked so skinny he weighted a ton.

"C'mon...where are we going?" She asked again, this time louder and a little more forcefully.

"You know..." He said. "Sands' right, you _do_ talk to much." The girl sighed in defeat and followed him. About ten meters was a iron door that was half open.

"Wait a second." The girl stood stock still. "How can I be sure your not lying to me and walking us _straight_ to our deaths! You said it yourself, you _hate_ Sands."

He frowned. Why did she have to say that? He was a noble man. He fortunately had a sense of honour. He wasn't , and never would be like the man he was carrying.

"Hey, what are _you_ doing!" Another voice asked in a surprised yet angry voice. Both he and the girl turned to the right to look at Marcus. The girl gave a scream that made Marcus take out his gun. El saw it and in flash yelled to the girl.

"You DUCK!" He dropped Sands, jumped at the frozen girl and dragged her to the floor. He had been just barely quick enough for Marcus had aimed and pulled the trigger. A bullet flew right over his head. Again she gave a loud scream and shakily looked at the bullet-hole right behind her.

El pulled his gun, only a bit to late. Marcus had already aimed at his forehead and was smirking devilishly.

"You have made a very bad choice, amigo." His gun made a clicking sound. "Your just as stupid as that other guy." He pointed with his free hand at Sands, still lying unconscious. "So like him, and _her_, you...have to pay the price!" he laughed.

BAM!

Marcus tensed and looked down at his chest, where a big bloody hole had appeared. With trembling fingers he touched his chest, looked at the blood then fell dead on the floor. Both El and Lizz looked shocked and stared at the dead man. Slowly they turned around to see Sands, struggling to stay sitting, holding El's gun.

"No one _fucking c_ompares _me_ to that Neanderthal." He said coldly.

"That..." The girl's eyes started to twinkle. "Was _totally_ awesome!" She started to laugh. "You just… shot that guy! That's so cool man!" She clapped her hands. "If we get out of here, will you teach me to do that!"

"You have been around me _way_ to long." Sands smirked, switching El's gun back to safety. El watched it. He didn't like the idea of Sands having a gun. Unnoticed he reached out and picked up Marcus's gun. He stood up.

"Let's go, someone must have heard that shot." The girl nodded quickly and helped Sands up. Immediately he pushed her away. "I _can_ walk by myself!" He snapped at her. She just shrugged and walked next to him. El glared at Sands. He sped up his pace so that he was a couple of meters from the two. He reached the door and looked carefully around it.

Behind the door there was a large room with tables and chairs. This was the main cafeteria, luckily it was empty. He looked back at the girl and Sands. Again she was holding him up, trying to keep him on his feet. She looked up, tired but smiling, at El.

"I didn't know it was so hard to keep the balance." She said smiling.

El raised an eyebrow. "Let's go." He walked in.

Lizz pulled a sulking face and stuck out her tongue. "Jeez, some people have _no_ sense of humour." She grumbled as she pushed Sands gently forwards.

"Come on we have to go." He protested a little by mumbling and trying to pull loose. "_Please_ Sands." She whispered. " I wanna get out of here." He whispered something to himself but nodded and walked. As they walked in, El opened a small door in the back of the room.

"This way, it leads to the garages." He said.

"This place has _everything_ doesn't it?" She answered walking through the rows of tables. Suddenly she heard running footsteps.

"YOU! Get down!" El yelled at her. Like I didn't know that, she thought. She turned the table over for cover. She peeked over the edge of the table. Six men had ran into the cafeteria. All of them looked at El, who jumped behind a wall. The men didn't even wait to ask El what was going on. They immediately opened fire. El duck further behind the wall and loaded his gun.

Lizz looked at the men. All of them had automatic machine guns and they were spread around the room, like her, they were taking cover behind tables. She looked back at El who had managed to kill one of the men, but then she noticed that he was almost out of ammo.

"Oh, _shit_ this is going bad…" Then something hit her. Sands still had a gun.

Quickly she turned around, seeing that Sands was holding the gun and didn't look in the mood to share. But trying wouldn't hurt...hopefully.

"Sands." She asked sweetly. "Can I have that gun?"

Clearly the man had no idea that someone was talking to him. He just lay still, mumbling to himself.

_Fine_, have it you're way, she thought. As fast as she could she grabbed the gun. This time Sands tensed, kicked her and pulled the gun back.

"Don't _fucking_ touch me!"

"Then do _something_! There trying to kill El!" She spat at him. He grinned.

"I know."

Lizz's eyes grew wide. "What!" For a moment she was speechless, but not for long. "You evil piece of-" Sands aimed the gun at her forehead.

"Don't mention it sugerbutt." His grin disappeared. "Now you keep quite so I can enjoy the show-" His hands started to shake. It worsened until he could no longer hold his gun. "FUCK! Why does stuff like this always happen at the most inopportune moment!"

Lizz didn't feel sorry for the agent this time. She picked the gun up, hearing Sands shout at her. She focused her gaze over the table.

"Oh, _shit_." She whispered. "Now I have to shoot someone." She flicked the gun's safety off. "The only problem is I cant even hit an _elephant_ if it was right in front of me, and those guys aren't right in front of me...and they are moving around a _heck_ of alot." At that she saw a man coming closer. She swallowed. "Mine as well give it a shot." She nervously laughed at the pun and with trembling hands she aimed at the man who was closest to her. Then she pulled the trigger.

BHWAM!

Pieces of plaster started to fall down and it started to rain.

She had killed a sprinkler…

Eight men, El, the six gangsters and Sands, turned to her.

"_Don't_ tell me..." Sands said. " I don't want to know." Suddenly he jumped at her and grabbed the gun out of her hand. He pulled her towards him. "Tell me where the men are?" A bullet flew between them. Lizz screamed and ducked.

Sands sighed in annoyance. "You're _not_ helping." He said in a sing song

voice as he checked his ammo. The gun was almost full. He grinned. Without missing a beat he jumped up and started to shoot around. He heard men yell in surprise and people falling down. Wood splintered and finally he heard a man scream in agony.

"Usted pagará por eso!"A very familiar heavy smoker said, standing extremely close to him. Sands jumped and pointed his gun at the voice. But he was to late.

A loud 'BANG' sounded as the pair passed beside him. And before he know it, pains shot through his right shoulder. He feel on his ass, dropping his gun. He groaned in pain.

"Yo le mataré, bastardo!" The voices spit. Sands tensed and felt around, trying to find his gun. The voice laugh. "Idiota!" The voice kicked against his wounded arm. "Algo listo decir antes que usted muere?"

"Yeah! Look behind you!" Lizz screamed. The man jump and turned around, just in time to get smacked against his head with a table-leg. The man yelled and fell backwards letting his own gun fall to the ground. "That's _one_ point for Lizz, and _zero_ for the bad guy's!" She said, leaning on the table-leg.

She looked around and saw that El had killed the other four men. She waved smiling at El. "Look what I did!" She yelled, as if she had gotten an 'A' on a test. But her smile quickly disappeared. She saw Sands, laying on the floor, holding his shoulder. His face was deathly pale and set in a grimace.

"SHIT!" She knelt next to Sands and touched his shoulder gently. He pulled back and hissed.

"Don't _fucking_ touch me!" He tried to get up. Blood started to seep through the space between his fingers and he let out a humourless laugh. "THAT, can't be _good_." He fainted.

**That was it again. I wanted to make the chapter longer but… It didn't really fit. And this way it looks more dramatic. **

**Sorry for the El fans, he wasn't much a POV in this chapter. But I swear next chapter he will be more in the picture. And I think I'll make the next chapter again a little dark. **

**But then again, I still don't know what the big picture is. I now how it will end. But the piece in the middle is still a little grey. I still got some idea's, but is someone else knows something good, please mail it. Only one thing, this won't become a slash or anything. **

**SO REVIEUWWWW**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**

**Translation: **

**Papá, usted lo puede ayudar: Dad can you help him.**

**Hace él mosca a su familia, papá : He will fly back to his family, right daddy?**

'**Sí, él hace: Yes, he does**

**Usted pagará por eso: You will pay for that!"**

**Yo le mataré, bastardo: I will kill you, bastard!"**

**Algo listo decir antes que usted muere: Something smart to say before you die?**


	18. New direction

**Disclaim: Don't own a thing, blabla, you know the drill. **

**OWh! And a enormous THANKS to my beta, _fanfiction fanatic_! I so luvvv what you have done with it! The thoughts from Sands about Lizz, very sweet, and still it's Sands! You're brilliant! **

**Chapter 18)** **New direction.**

El stared straight down the highway, steering a large army truck. A painful silence had been strangling the occupants of the car since the moment they drove away, twenty minutes ago.

Twenty minutes back he had been running, supporting Sands by his good arm, trying to get to the truck as he continually looked of his should. He had to make sure they weren't being followed. He threw Sands in the backseat, slamming the door while running to the driver side and yanking the front door open and starting the car.

The girl gave a loud scream, afraid that he might drive away without her, as she dove over the hood of the car, landed on her butt, yanked open the door and sat down next to El, more than a little out of breath. El leaned over her and shut the door then he quickly backed up hit the gas and went straight through the iron fence.

The girl, in the meantime made herself useful. She leaned over her seat and preceded to grab an old piece of fabric. She put the fabric over the wound in Sands' shoulder as she pulled his pot leaf belt loose, wrapping it around his shoulder in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

People outside started yelling and shooting at them. The back windshield shattered. Lizz cursed as she pulled out her gun and shot three times. Two went through the roof, but the third managed to hit one of the shooters in the foot. The man fell over and grabbed his foot. The girl screamed victoriously.

"I HIT ONE!" And that was the last thing that had been said for twenty minutes.

El looked into the rear-view mirror at Sands. He seemed to be unconscious. Time to collect some information. He coughed a little and looked at the girl.

"So what's your name?" She didn't look up, but El saw her looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Lizz." She answer. It was very clear she didn't want to tell him anything. And _that_, was one thing El couldn't understand. He had _saved_ her and she was amazed that he was El Mariachi, but _she_ miraculous trusted Sands. _Not _him. He wasn't planning on giving up so easily.

"So, Lizz, how old _are_ you?" He asked in a very friendly voice.

"Sixteen." She answered briefly. El nodded, he had thought right.

"So...why where _you_ in prison with_ Sands_?" She didn't look up and started playing with her hair. El frowned. "Did _he_ force you to cooperate with him? Did _he_ pay you money? He_ threatened _you, didn't he?" She still kept silent. He smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, you can tell _me_." This time she looked up. Her eyes where wide with fury. She quickly pushed his hand away.

"_Why_ do you keep saying those things! I already told you _he_ didn't _do_ anything bad to me!" She hissed. "The only thing _he_ did was help me with the shit _your_ ,so called _boss_, put me through!" She looked at Sands. "He's not as bad as _you _think he is."

If the girl hadn't looked so serious he would have laughed right in her face. Sands _not _a bad man..._right_, and pigs could fly.

They both went silent again and El concentrated on the road. After a few minutes he looked quickly at the girl. She was almost asleep against the window. He wondered what Sands had done to earn her trust. He had probably used his infamous powers of persuasion and manipulation. He _had_ to give it to the agent, he _was_ without a doubt smart, and knew how to work people. Sands had done it to him, bringing up some terrible memories. He had pushed his buttons very well. Suddenly the girl jumped up.

"STOP! STOP THE CAR!" El jumped and immediately pressed his foot to the brake.

"WHAT!"

The girl pointed at a drugstore. " I uhhh… get carsick _really_ easily. I swear you _don't_ want me to puke _all _over the car, do you?" Before El could protest she jumped out of the car. Lizz heard the Mariachi curse at her as she hurried to the other side of the road.

It was around three p.m and the shop was closed. "_Shit_!" She whispered. Cautiously she walked around the pharmacy. In the back there where trashcans.  
Above them there was a small window. A very thin window. Lizz sighed.

She had _stolen_ a large amount of money, _helped_ a corrupt CIA agent, and _shot_ at people..."I think burglary will fit in _quiet_ well among that list." She whispered as she picked up a large rock and threw it at the window.

Of course she missed.

"Oh _fuck_!" She hissed in frustration as she climbed up the trash cans, and using a bigger rock this time, smashed the window. She quickly got the left over pieces out of the frame and climbed through the small window. Which was harder than she had first thought it would be.

With a loud _smack_ she landed on the pharmacy floor face down. Cursing she rubbed her aching head. "There _has_ to be a simpler way to break in…" She wiped off her skirt. "When Sands gets better I'll ask him. I can bet my soul on him having done it _more_ than once." Then she remembered what she had really come for. She walked slowly through the store.

"What _did_ Sands say he used when he got attacks?" She asked herself, picking up little boxes and jars with _god_ only knows what in them. " It was an...Anti...Antispy...Antipsychotic? Yeah! That's it. Antipsychotic, now I just have to _find _one! Man am _I_ smart!"

Again she started to pick up jars and boxes, this time she didn't bother to put them back. After all compared to burglary, vandalism wasn't _that _bad. Then it hit her. Sands had said, _"With medicines, very strong medicines."_ Those medicines _wouldn't _just be on the shelves. You need a prescription for them. She ran back to where she had begun her search. Again she found boxes, but nothing stronger than Tylenol was on the shelves. While scanning the room her eyes rell on a large locked closet. She smiled. That _had_ to be it.

Only problem was she had _no_ idea how to get the _damn_ thing open. She quickly started looking for a key. She searched the counter, drawers, tables and the floor, but she only found a few pieces of lint and a pen. No key. She looked around the room again. _Aha_! A rifle, she had missed it on her first sweep of the room. It was probably there in case there was a robbery. She grabbed the gun and aimed it at the lock. She pulled the trigger and...nearly got hit with the bullet. It had bounced of the cabinet.

"Strong metal..." She sighed and in a spurt of anger and frustration kicked the closet. Probably not her best idea ever. Immense pain shot through her foot.

"AH!" She yelped. "STUPID USELESS PIECE OF OLD IRON!" She ran at the closet and pushed it. Surprisingly it fell sideways with a loud _bang_, landing on the floor. The right had door cracked open. Lizz laughed and jumped up and down in celebration.

"YEAH! I DID IT!" With a little bit of difficulty she managed to get the other door open. She looked inside and saw all kinds of needles

"JESUS!" She jumped back, tripped over her own feet and landed on her _ass_, again! Rubbing her sore butt she walked over to it. Curious, she looked into the closet.

There where _hundreds_ of needles laying throughout the closet, but luckily she also saw some jars. Trying not to get pricked by the needles, she carefully reached into the closed and picked up a couple jars with names as confusing as _hell_ itself. She had found it, 'Quetiapine'! On the bottle it said it was an antipsychotic!

After rendering her mission complete, she walked back to were the normal medicines were kept and grabbed a box of car sickness pills. She then grabbed a paper bag and tossed the medicines in. She succeeded in climbing out the window _without_ giving herself a concussion and ran back to the truck. El had his elbows on the wheel and his head resting on his hands. He _didn't_ look very happy, Lizz wished she had brought something back for him too.

" Where _have_ you been!" He asked immediately, not even waiting for her to get into the car. " You were in there for over half an hour! It can't possibly take that long to _steal_ some pills!" He continued slightly annoyed.

'You have no idea how wrong you are' Lizz thought. " I'm sorry but my Spanish isn't very good, it took me a while to find what I was looking for." She explained proving her point by showing him the box of pills as she shook one out of the box and popped it in her mouth. El only growled, and Lizz had a feeling that he didn't believe her at all.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After a half hour of driving, seeing the girl fall asleep and thinking of what she _really_ had done in the drugstore, El stopped the car. The girl slowly opened her eyes. She blinked and looked around.

"Where are we?" She asked, still sounding sleepy.

"At my house." El answered in short order. He didn't want to waste time with talking. It was important to get her and Sands inside, quick. It was late and there were _always_ people connected to the cartels about.

He stepped out, scanning the area around his house. He didn't see anything suspicious, so he slowly closed his door and walked to the backseat, opening the door. Sands had barely moved and it was _quiet_ clear how much pain he was in. El rolled his eyes. " I can't _believe_ I am doing this!" In a way that was _anything _but gently, he dragged Sands out of the car and onto his feet. Sands' body tensed but he didn't make a sound.

'He's a very strong man.' El admitted when he felt the man's blood soak t-shirt. 'Or a very _stubborn_ one.'

"_You_, Lizz, open the door." He threw her his house keys with his free hand.

"There aren't any booby-traps,_ right_?" She looked questioning. "Because I saw this movie where a blonde girl got killed by a_ huge_ spike, just because she opened a door. And it looked pretty _gross_, I don't think I am up for that and-"

"Just opened the _damn_ door!" El snared.

"Okay, OKAY!" Lizz yelled back.

"And _don't_ yell so much! It's dangerous!" El snapped. Lizz rolled her eye's.

"Some people are _way_ to serious." She whispered as she walked to the door, put the key in the lock and turned it. Holding her breath and awaiting death by giant spike, she opened the door. To her relief she wasn't impaled against the wall, so she walked in. It wasn't what she had thought a legendary gunfighters residence would look like.

The walls were light red and slightly cracked. The room she was currently in was small and dusty even compared to her tiny apartment. There was a large pea green sofa in the corner accompanied by an extremely old chair that was also the same revolting shade of green.

There wasn't much else in the room besides a tv a small table covered with leftover food surrounded by three rickety wooden chairs. Lizz noticed a small but clean kitchen to her left. She walked into to it and saw a door leading to a sandy garden. " Guess the great El Mariachi isn't much of a gardener." She muttered to herself as she walked back into the living room where she found El and a still unconscious Sands. "So, uhh...What _do_ we do now?" Lizz asked.

"Going to sleep, sounds like a good idea to me." El answered swiping his hand across his sweaty forehead.

" I _meant_ with him." She pointed at Sands.

"Oh yeah, _him_." He replied a hint of anger in his voice. " I don't think there_ is_ much we can _do_. He has lost a great amount of blood and he didn't even flinch when I dropped him on accident."

He looked at the girl's shocked eyes then cursed himself for being so negative in front of her. "But of course we _can_ always try." He carried Sands into a tiny room that may have once been used as a study. He placed Sands on a thin mattress and put a blanket over him. " Stay here." He told Lizz. "I'm going to get some clean water and a first aid kit. You wait here and _don't_ do anything _stupid_." He walked away while Lizz stuck her tongue out at his back.

_Why_ do guys always think she is going to do something stupid! Maybe there is a handbook full of rules that guys follow :_Rule number One: Don't trust a young Blonde girl who is trying to save your ass. Rule number two: If you do not need your ass saved but see a young blonde girl with a corrupt CIA agent remember she is stupid and can't do anything right._

She looked at Sands and sat down beside him. Slowly she brushed her fingers over his cheek.

"Hey? Can you hear me? _Hello_?" She waited a moment. " Are you still alive?" He slowly turned his head in her general direction.

"_No_ I think I am in _Hell_...at least that's what it feels like." He answered before he had to stifle back a groan after accidentally jostling his shoulder.

"Is it that bad?" Lizz asked, sounding a bit more than a little worried. Her voice was trembling slightly. Sands only grinned, like he always did when he didn't want to admit how much pain he was in. Then, not thinking, he shrugged. _Bad_ idea. He immediately grabbed his shoulder and had to bite his lip to avoid letting out a scream.

"It's _okay_." The girl hushed beside him. It surprised him that she was still here. He hadn't expected that. He thought she would leave after El had gotten them out of there. After all El was the _great_ El Mariachi, a man _stupid_ as _hell_ but a great gun fighter, he figured she would leave him with El and get out of this mess. Suddenly he heard the girl start talking again.

"In a minute El will be back. He will stitch you back together and-"

"There is _no way_ in _hell_ that, that _Neanderthal_ is going to touch me!" He spat. "I am _not_ going to give him the chance to even _think_ he is in control here! If he _even dares_ to put a finger on me, I'll blow his _fucking_ brains out! You hear me!"

"It was _hard_ not to Sands, even a _deaf_ guy _three _blocks from here could have heard that." She answered and Sands had a feeling she was smirking, and he would have done the same if his shoulder wasn't burning like hell itself. The voices were getting _so_ loud that the only place they would have fit in was an episode of Jerry Springer. It felt like someone was drilling a _hole_ in his head none to quickly.

"_If El finds out your dirty little secrets he's going to laugh at you and throw you out of his house. And the funny thing is, Shel, you deserve it!"_

"_Sheldon! You piece of shit! Where are YOU!"_

"_I'm sorry Sheldon for leaving you, but what you did was wrong! Everything you do is wrong!"_

"_Did I already mention, you're pathetic? If not, just so you remember: pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, PATHETIC!"_

"_Fuck_ off, _go_ away!" He whispered. Why can't you three leave me alone! You're _not_ real, so _fuck_ off! I don't _want_ to hear you! He shook his head. JUST FUCKING FUCK OFF!

_"There is no way I'll go away, Sheldon, not after what you did to me! I'll make you pay, and don't you dare think I can't hurt you anymore!"_

Tremendous pain shot through his head. He bit his lip so hard it started to bleed.

"_See, horrible little boy, see what I can do to you?"_

"_Jeez, Shel, VERY WEAK!"_

Someone shook him. "Sands, he's coming." The first person Sands thought it was, was his dad. He immediately tensed up and tried to get up off the thin mattress, but then he realized that it couldn't be his dad. Where the _hell _was he again! He searched his mind and remembered that he was in a _house_..._El's_ house...El Mariachi...a man who _hated_ him..._not _good! El could do _anything_ to him right now. He was _blind_, _shot_ up, and in a great deal of_ pain_. He _couldn't_ let the man near him. Not _now_! He tried to sit up.

"_Don't_ let that guy in here." He demanded. " I _don't_ want him around." He was surprised by the calm tone of his voice.

"But _he's_ a legendary gunfighter, don't ya think _he_ would be better at stitching bullet wounds than I would be."

" I don't give a _damn_. _Don't_ let that guy in! I hate that _motherfucker_!" He hissed

"Okay, _alright_, but if you have a _horrible_ scar don't blame _me_. I _warned_ you!" Lizz said as she stood up and opened the door in time to see El about to turn the handle. He was carrying a bowl filled with water, a couple of towels, and a first aid kit. She quickly grabbed everything out of his hands. "I'll do it, he doesn't like you very much and I _don't_ think it would be a very good idea for you to go in right now." El frowned, but left the topic be. He didn't want to be in the same _room_, let alone the same _house_ as Sands anyways. He gave her a needle and wire.

"Do you need anything else?" Lizz turned around and looked at Sands. He was laying as still as death and he didn't seem to be breathing. She was slightly worried especially as she began to take in his appearance. His t-shirt was soaked through and his leather paints were practically torn to pieces.

"Some clothes would be nice." She told El. The Mariachi nodded and walked away. Lizz closed the door and turned on the lights. Immediately Sands started to breath again. "_Jesus, _man, you almost gave me a heart attack, you looked so_ dead_." She muttered. Sands started to smirk.

"I _knew_ you would be _impressed_ by my acting talents."

"Nice. Now shut up." She places the bowl of water next to Sands and opened the first aid kit. "Can you get your t-shirt off?"

"Luv, I can't even _move_ my arm." He grinned once again, but the pain was visible on his face.

"Then I will have to cut your shirt open." she picked up the scissors from the kit.

"_No_ way, this is the _only_ shirt I have left, I won't _let_ you _kill _it." He said defiantly. Lizz sighed why couldn't he, for once, agree with her? Just _one_ time!

"You can borrow a shirt from El. Now _stop_ complaining." She knelt besides  
him. "Can you sit up?" He glared at her. She placed her arm around his shoulder and pulled him up. When he was sitting he sighed in relief. "Now that wasn't _so_ bad, was it?" She said, being rewarding with another glare. "I'm going to cut your shirt off, so don't make any sudden movements." He smiled.

"Okay, _strip_ me." Lizz rolled her eyes. This guy was just unbelievable. Carefully she cut the shirt and pulled it off. She looked at the large hole in his shoulder.

"_Shit_!" She whispered.

"_What_? Aren't I _good_ looking anymore!" He joked. Lizz started to laugh.

"Yes, you _still_ are, that hole in your shoulder really _finishes_ your look. I'm _sure_ it will become a trend."

"Yeah, me and my fashion statements…"

Lizz giggled again.

"Okay let's get serious." She picked up a towel and dipped in the water. " I'm going to clean the wound now, just so you know."

"You're _too_ kind." Sands said sarcastically. Lizz chose to ignore his smart comment and started to wipe off the blood. A couple of times he suddenly tensed and cursed her but within ten minutes the wound was clean and the water in the bowl had turned pink.

"I think I did a good job, considering this is only my second time doing this." She said proudly looking at her handy work.

"Just get the _fucking_ bullet _out _and shut up." He responded.

She stuck out her tongue and searched in the kit for a tweezers. She found them and checked to make sure they were clean. Again she looked at the wound.

"Okay this is going to hurt, _alot_, 'cause the bullet is in deep. Should I ask El for a drink?"

"_No_, I am already pretty _fucked_ up, and I need to be alert with that guy around." He said. Again she rolled her eyes. My _god_, give it a _break_ man! But she didn't argue and decided to once more look at the bullet wound. It really didn't look very _pleasant_. On E.R it always looked so simple…

But it went surprisingly good, _thank god_! Within a couple seconds the bullet was out and she hadn't damaged anything. Sands hadn't even yelled at her. She wiped off the small amount of blood seeping from the wound.

"I'm going to stitch it now." She said. Sands nodded. During the first two stitches he was a little tense but soon they were to the last one and everything had gone fine.

"Can you turn a little bit for the last stitch?" Lizz asked.

"Sure." He answered and he turned a little bit , his back to her. She made the last stitch. "That's all, you're done. All cleaned and stitched in less than fifteen minutes."

"Aren't I a _lucky_ guy?" He said sarcastically. She smartly ignored his sarcastic comments and put the needle down. She frowned and looked at Sands' shoulder blade. There where white discolorored burn scars on it.

"How did you get _those_?" She asked touching his shoulder blade carefully.

A shiver went throw his body and he paled."Dad was _pissed_ because I misplaced his ashtray. I was five." He sighed and fell into his thoughts, back to the a time when he was still an innocent little kid. He stopped. _No_, not this time. That _bastard _wouldn't beat _him_. And he wouldn't tell the girl anymore of his past than he already had. He turned around, his back against the wall. "I want a new T-shirt, I'm cold." He grunted blankly.

"Sure." She said softly, not quiet whispering, maybe she was upset about what he had said. Or maybe she was just shocked. He heard her get up and open the door. The door slowly closed and he was left alone, with only his thoughts and the voices.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz sighed as she closed the door. That's something you just _don't _like to hear. Those scars on his shoulder blade where defiantly third degree burns. She remember a time she had gotten burned while holding a candle. That had hurt like Hell, but she didn't even get a scar. Her hand closed into a fist. She hoped that he had let that _bastard _suffer before he _killed_ him.

She remembered what she was looking for, and walked into the other room. There she saw El sitting on the sofa watching tv. When he noticed her, he stood up.

"So, how is he?" He asked.

"Okay, I think." Lizz answered softly, as she thought about how _fucked_ up he really was. El nodded and walked to the table. He picked up a black shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans.

"Here, these are for Sands." She thankfully took the clothes. There were _way_ to big for Sands, but he was in _no_ position to complain.

"Do you maybe have some clothes for me?" She asked nicely. The Mariachi thought for a moment.

"I don't think I have anything _that_ small."

"It doesn't matter." She replied. "_Anything_ is better than what I'm wearing right now." She gestured to her ripped miniskirt and dirty shirt. El nodded.

"I see what you mean." He turned around and walked to a door. "Follow me."

Lizz sighed in relief and ran after the Mariachi. She walked into the bedroom. In the room there was only a bed and a small closet. The walls where yellow and above the bed was filled with bullet holes. Lizz chuckled.

"I _love_ your decorations, El."

El looked up from the closet. "Yeah, that was from the last owner. The man didn't pay his rent." He explained.

"Here in Mexico they have so many _creative_ ways to solve their problems." She mimed shooting. El didn't reply and continued searching in the closet. Lizz shrugged and sat down on the bed. Just then she noticed blood on the pillow. She quickly jumped up and stared at the blood. "Exactly, how _long_ has it been since the last owner 'left' ?" El didn't look up.

"About two days, why?"

"Just wondering." Lizz said, trying not to look at the blood again.

Finally El pulled out a long white shirt.

"This okay?"

Lizz took it and held it to her. No blood, went over her knees, not dirty, no need to complain. Grateful she smiled.

"Thank you."

"You can changes in the bathroom." He pointed to a door. Again she smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'll be in the living room." He walked out.

_Finally_, Lizz thought as she walked into the bathroom, a guy who knows how to act like a gentleman and doesn't scream, yell or curse like the devil _himself_. She placed the borrowed shirt on the towel rack. Then she nearly had a heart attack when she looked in the mirror.

"Holy _Christ_, I look like _freaking_ Marilyn Manson!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"_Now you're alone again, Shel, I told you she would leave you? Didn't I tell you that?"_

"_He's right Sheldon, now your alone, no one can stop me from hurting you…"_

"_No_! go away!" He whispered. "You are _not_ real!"

"_Oh, but I am, dear Shel, I am you! I'm the part you that you have tried to ignore for too long. And because of that you lost. You lost everything, Shel, every last thing in your so called life. You fucked up!"_

"_Shut up_!"

"_Sheldon, you have shut me out for too long, and now I'm back! And I will make you pay for being the evil, worthless, insane kid you were and still are!"_

"I'm not _worthless_...or insane...or _evil_!" he struggled to find the right words. "_You_ made me into this! I _never_ chose this, I _never_ wanted it! I _couldn't_ and _can't_ help it!"

"_You could have!"_ This time it was the voice of his mom. _"You could have made a choice! No one forced you to kill your father! He was an evil man, yes, but you pulled the trigger! You could have turned around and walked away. But you didn't, you lowered yourself to his level. You killed him, and a young boy and mother! You killed us!"_

"_No_.. no.. _no_.. I _didn't_.. I didn't _want_ that to happen.." He sobbed. " I only _wanted_ to stop him, just once.. I didn't.. I _didn't _mean to.."

"_But you did! You killed him! And you didn't stop. You've murdered so many people! You've killed hundreds of fathers and mothers! And Sheldon Jeffery Sands, I will never forgive you for that! You are even worse than your dad."_

"_NO_! Please, _don't_ say that mom! _Please_!" He held his head and made himself  
as small as possible. "Please _don't_ say that…"

"_You deserve this, Sheldon..."_

"_You fucked up, Shel, you so fucking deserve this."_

"_You shitty little brat! You deserve this!"_

Pain shot through his head. "No,_ no_, no, _please_!" After a couple of second the pain slowly drifted away. His body relax and slowly he started breathing again. When was this _shit_ going to stop? He heard the door open and he tensed again, not knowing who to expect. He tried to act like he was unconscious.

"Sands, you asleep?" Lizz's voice whispered. He heard her walk away a couple of steps. "In that case I'm going." Immediately Sands head shot and looked in her direction. If she went away he would be _alone_ again, in the dark. And the voices would come back. And he didn't want that..._ever_ again.

"I'm awake." He said with a soft, almost silent voice. He heard the door creak followed by her walking back in the room.

"Thought so." She sat besides him. "I got you new cloths." She pushed a pair of jeans in his arms. "That's the pants, and this is a shirt. I'll help you put it on."

Without waiting for his approval she put the shirt one, trying not to touch the wound and buttoned it. "The jeans you can do yourself." She said. "Oh, and I got something for you. While you where unconscious, I broke into a drugstore and got you your anti.. anti-somethings." She paused for a moment." Antipsychotics, _right_, that's it, anyways. I got you some I have a bottle of pills. They are something called Quetiapine."

Sands was a little shocked by her actions, but he went brain dead when she used the word '_pills'_. He recovered quickly. "I'm _not_ gonna take those_ fucking_ pills! I'm _not_ a _fucking_ junky!" Alright, at the moment he was _desperate_ for a solution, but he still had _some_ of his pride and independence intacted, death wasn't _too_ far away, so...why not hurry it up a little.

"I thought you would say something like that. But lucky for you, I _already_ thought about it." He heard her open up the jar. "Think of it this way. In the room next door is a man who _hates_ you and wouldn't mind _shoving_ this pill down your throat. So I think the _best_ thing you can do, is to take the pills yourself." His mouth dropped.

"You little _bitch_! Your black mailing me!"

"I learned from the master." She replied. She pushed four pills into the palm of his hand. " I'm not sure if I got the right doses, but It'll do, I _hope_."

Doesn't _that _sounds great, he thought sarcastically. But there wasn't really an

alternative…He took the pills and swallowed them.

"_Happy_?" he sneered.

"No, stick out your tongue." She ordered in a bossy manner . Sand clenched his  
jaw.

"Fine." He stuck out his tongue. "Now, can you please _stop_ nursing me! It's _fucking_ annoying!"

"Okay, _okay_, I'm going, jeez." She stood up, picked up the pills and walked at the door. Within a second Sands realized that he would be alone again. Alone in the dark with his thought, his fears and the voices that would make it all worse. He tried to sit up.

"No, _don't_ go!" Was it just him, or did he sound really desperate...not to mention pathetic? The girl stopped walking.

"What is it _now_? I want to go to sleep, it's almost five a.m. and I'm _dead_ tired."

"Because…" _Shit_,now he had to come with something good, or else she  
would laugh at him or walk away, both would be bad. "_Because_…"His thoughts were going a mile a minute. "Because…" _Shit_, what was the problem! He was _trained_ to come up with this kind of bullshit to keep the enemy talking, why couldn't he now?

Then he realized this _wasn't_ an enemy. This was a _weird_ girl, that had saved his _ass_ and who was trying to act like she _cared_ for him. And she did a great job, she could have a _hell_ of an acting career. He was enjoying it, he didn't care that it was all fake.

He liked the idea that someone was there, _someone_ who was nice to him, _someone_ who came back even after he got pissed off at them and said some pretty bad shitto them. _Someone_ who didn't pity him because of his past or his fucked up life. She didn't pity him over his blindness, and she didn't ask stupid questions or ones without answers. Like what he thought the meaning of life was...someone had actually asked him that before. 'How the _fuck_ should I know!' had been his response, of course he shot them later...She wasn't like that, she just_ listened_. She _listened_ and oddly enough she didn't judge him. That meant the world to him.

"If you don't have anything _important_ to say, I'm going." Again she started to walk out the door.

"WAIT!" He almost jumped up. Okay, Sands, this time you sounded overly pathetic. "Can you please _stay _a little bit longer?" He said, trying to sounds as normal as possible.

"Why?" She asked, probably frowning. _Christ_, she truly wanted him to say it, didn't she! Oh, hell why not! He sighed.

"Because I don't _want _to be alone right now, It's _quite_ busy in here." He tapped his temple ,trying to make it sound funny and not terrifying like it was. "And since you are the only _real _person, excluding me, in this room, it makes you _perfectly _qualified for the position." He gave her a humorless smile. And thank god, _hallelujah_ she came back. He heard her footsteps and she sat down where she was before.

"So what now? Do I just sit here or _what_?" She asked. Sands felt like smacking her, but decided against it .

"_No_…just, I dunno. Tell me something about yourself...or something. "She was probably shocked, him showing interest in her. _Hell_, good thing she didn't know better. He only wanted someone to talk, so the voices wouldn't be so _god damn_ loud.

"So what should I talk about?" She said.

"How _should_ I know! You talk all day, and _never_ shut up, so _don't_ tell me that you don't have anything to talk about!" Again he started to get annoyed, the often present want to shoot her sprang up.

"All right, _chill_." She sighed and went silent for a moment. " Oh, I got something! Did _you _know the last owner of this house, got killed because he didn't pay his rent? I'm not totally sure, but _pretty_ sure. I saw blood on El's bed, and it looked _really_ gross! So I asked El when the last owner left, cause El has only lived here for two days or something." And so she went on and on about the house and her old high school that she had hated. She told him about her favourite tv series, movie stars, music and everything else teenage girls talk about. During her talking Sands sometimes nodded, or mumbled something.

He felt as if he was in some kind of trance. The drugs where kicking in, and since the headache was almost gone he suddenly felt how tired he was. The strange thing was he felt...kinda good. The voice noticed.

"_This is never going to work Shel, you can't make me shut up! Not again! I am you, remember that!"_

"_You think a fucked up girl can make me stop hurting you, Sheldon? You're even stupider than I thought you where. And a fucking coward! Little chicken shit!"_

"_Why don't you leave the girl alone, Sheldon? She's not safe if you're around. You will kill her, I can see it already. Let her go! This won't work!"_

He shook his head. I think it _will_ work, and you know why? Because I _don't_ have a headache, it's gone. And I _won't_ listen to that _fucking shit_ you three tell me anymore! You know why? Because you are all _fake_! Three _fucked_ up fakers!

He made a choice that moment. He _wouldn't_ let them win. The girl, _no_, Lizz was right. He _had_ been beaten since the day of the dead. He _had_ lost a lot, almost everything. He _had_ been laughed at, humiliated. He _had_ been made into a joke. But guess what, he _is_ Sheldon Jeffery Sands. And he always comes back, to keep the balance and kill all the _fuckers_ who had messed with him. And this time, he _might _have someone to help him. But that was still iffy. Right now he _didn't_ give a shit, he only wanted to listen to her voice and sleep.

**Hallelujah I'm done! ( for this chapter, don't get me wrong) It took me  
three and a half day to write this chapter. I tried to get a little bit of humour in this chap, and along with some angst and a dash of hate and bitterness.( That , I think, would be El)I also hope Sands/El weren't going to far OOC is, because he did get a little soft at the ending. **

**Only a little right? RIGHT!**

**AGAIN MERRY XMAS!**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	19. A fucked up choice

**Disclaim: for people how think I might be the owner of OUATIM. I have to disappoint you, AND MYSELF! I don't own anything. I really, really, really DON'T! I wish I did, but I don't, and you know it! So why do I have to write it over and over again!**

**Chapter 19) A fucked up choice.**

Lizz awoke the next day around 12 PM. With lazy eyes she scanned the room she was lying in. Light red walls surrounded her. Slowly she sat up from the sofa and stretched her arms. "Why am I _still_ so sleepy?" She rubbed her head, it still hurt from the fall. Slowly she stood up and walked to Sands room.

Quietly she opened the door and because there was no window in the room, switched the light on. She looked at the man that she thought was sleeping, and smiled at his peaceful state. For the next couple of hours he wouldn't bother her.

She closed the door and walked into the kitchen. She opened a couple of drawers, looking for food but didn't find any thing. She frowned. "Great. '_The_' doesn't even have food."

"Well, '_The_' was a little bit busy saving you and that _gringo_." Lizz quickly turned around and saw El standing in the doorway. She felt hercheeks starting to flush and she smiled apologetically. El didn't reply. He opened a drawer and picked up a box of crackers.

"Here this is all there is. I don't do much shopping." He looked outside. "I'm _never_ in one place long enough." Lizz didn't bother to reply, she grabbed the box of crackers from his hand and started to eat. After a few crackers she walked up to the table and sat down. El smiled amused and sat down on a chair facing her.

"So, when was the last time you ate?" He asked. The girl stopped focusing on the food and looked up at him. She swallowed a cracker and thought for a moment.

"I guess about two days...maybe three." After that she started to eat again.El rolled his eyes. Why was she still acting so tense? What did _he_ do tomake her feel so reticent? Good thing he wasn't the kind of guy that gave up easily. And, _seriously_, how hard could it be to win her trust? She was still a little girl.

"And why where _you_ with Sands in that cell? Did you do anything wrong?" She gave him an annoyed look.

"Listen if you think I did something wrong, just call the cops okay? The only thing I ever did was get even with your boss! And can you please stop questioning me it's _fucking_ annoying and tedious!" She pouted and started to eat.

Again a painful silence filled the room. El could have kicked his own butt right now. Very subtle El,_ brilliant_, now she's never going to talk again. Hesighed and watch the girl finish the last cracker.

"So, what is it like to be a legend?" The girl suddenly asked. El's eyesgrew wide at her sudden question.

"_What_?"

"I said, what is it like to be a legend? Is it like a movie star? Or morelike a secret agent?" She asked, interested.

El smiled picturing himself as a movie star. "It's not a big deal, actually.Basically it is just other people make a big fuss about me. And all the rumours _aren't_ helping ." The girl started to play with her sleeve.

"I once heard that you have a guitar case full of guns. Is that true?"

El nodded. "Yes, I have a case like that. But I don't use it anymore."

"To many memories?" She asked immediately. He didn't feel like lying to the girl, so he nodded again.

"Yes, that and I have been trying to live a _peaceful_ life. I'm sick of fighting. I don't see the point anymore."

She nodded quickly. "Fighting _never_ solves anything. You win one battle, only to be pulled into another one all to quickly. And most of the time the _good_ people die."

"So, why _are_ you with Sands then? You said you knew him, so you must have heard about his reputation. If you're so against fighting, why do you help him? He plays with the good people and causes them to kill each other." She was quiet for a second.

"He doesn't do that anymore."

"Then why are you here? He somehow dragged you into this and you don't even _know_ it." He glared at the small room. "And that's why he is so dangerous, he plays with you and you don't realize it 'till it's too late."

She started to laugh. "Yeah right. For your information, I dragged _him_ into this. And he really isn't that bad once you get to know him"

This girl is crazy, El decided. Again he started to get pissed at Sands. How could he drag an _innocent _girl into his game? Because that was all it was for him. A _game_. And he played to win, no matter what.

"Then what did _you _do to get into this mess?" He continued. She smiled and bit her lip.

"I don't think I can say that." She gestured at the small room. "He will get pissed if I tell."

Great, still not getting anywhere. El's temper rose. All because of that _ignorant _gringo! He sighed. He couldn't show her how much he despised Sands, she could do very stupid things and he didn't want an innocent girl dead because of _him_. To many people had already died for_ him_. 'I have to let it go, for now.' He told himself.

"I going into the town to buy some food. You stay here. Stay inside the house and _don't_ open the door for anyone." He pointed at his room. "And you stay out of _my_ room, if you need something you will have to wait 'till I get home. Do you understand?"

"Aye Captine!" And to prove her point she place a hand on her heart. "Iwon't touch anything, open the door, _or_ go to your room 'till you get home."

El nodded and mumbled something. Smiling she stood in the doorway waving as El walked to the car. When she saw him drive away she closed the door. Immediately her innocent smile disappeared and she looked at the door to El's room.

"Now where _is_ that legendary guitar case?"  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Old nightmares tortured him in his sleep. He knew he was asleep because he could see. And for the first time he wished that the images would _disappear_ and be replaced by the normal darkness. Why couldn't he wake up? He _wanted_ to wake up! RIGHT NOW!

_Flashback _

He was sitting against the big tree in the back yard. It was the summer ofhis tenth birthday and it was the warmest summer he could remember. With a sigh he wiped the sweat off his face. He looked at his house with the corner of his eye.

Well, he _couldn't__ call it 'his house'. Long ago it was 'his house', but __now__ it was the house of the bad evil man. It was the place where he had to struggle just to survive every single day. _

Every day he had to sneak through the hallways, watching every step he took while he tried not to wake the bad evil man.

His gaze shifted from the house to the tree. Maybe he could make a tree house. Then he could live in there be safe and the bad evil man couldn't hurt him anymore.

And that was the only thing he _ever__ wanted. To make the bad evil man stop. _

"SHELDON!" A low, drunk voices yelled from the house. He immediately jumped up onto his feet, feeling the common fear race through him.

"SHELDON!" A glass was smashed to pieces. "Where are you, you _lousy__ piece of __shit__!" Scared to death he started looking for someone to help him. He saw his neighbour looking at him through her kitchen window, her eyes full of pity. _

'_Please__ Miss Thompson, stop him. __Please__ don't make me go in that house!' She gave him a last pitiful look and closed the curtains. Tears started to swell in his eyes and a soft but strong voice told him he was __alone__, all  
alone. _

End flashback

"_No_, no, _fuck off_! I don't want to think of that _bitch_ who had lived next to mefor _seventeen_ years and never cared enough to help me." He mumble softly. He remembered that day all too well. It was one of the first day he heard the voice and the first time his dad had locked him up in the basement.

During his first night in the basement he got so scared that he peed his pants. He had screamed and slammed his body against the door, trying to get his dad to let him out He remembered, so clearly, how scared he was that first night in the basement, being surrounded by darkness and fear.

_"And __now__, how ironic, your back to the same place Shel, you're that lil' kidagain. Still __scared__ in the dark. Good job!" _The voice screamed cheerfully.

"Oh, go _fuck_ yourself." Sands mumbled trying to remember where he was. Shaking slightly, he stretched his good arm out and touched the wall rightbehind him. He felt a couple of bullets-holes and some paint that was in very poor condition. It had crumbled away slightly as he touched it. He frowned and started to feel sick. "Where the _hell_ am I." Suddenly he realised his gun was missing. "Fuck!" He whispered. Now he was helpless against El...

"_El_!" His heart skipped a beat. _Shit_, he remembered now. El was _here_... in the same house as he was. And El would hurt him because he had fucked up Mexico. And there was _nothing_ he could do about it. His breathing sped up. He was wounded and blind. El could do _anything_ to him, anything until he begged him to stop.

_"Yup, Shel, he can torture you to dead and there won't be __anyone__ or __anything__ that will stop him! I'm curious as to how hard you will scream."_

Sands didn't want to give in to the voice but that thought scared him to death. Painfully, he tried to crawl to the far corner of the room. He yelped when his wounded shoulder hit the wall, but he didn't stop.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour, he was leaning against the wall panting.

_"Shel, let me tell you something. El, __isn't __blind, if he switches the light on he will see you. So...why __did__ you crawl to the corner?"  
_  
"Cause I wanna disappear." He muttered.

_"Okay…I don't follow you, Shel. How does crawling into the corner make you disappear?"_

"How the_ fuck_ should I know! I'm insane, r_emember_. It seemed like a good idea a moment ago. That is before you started to insult me about it!"

_"Well, fuck you too! If you think you're __so__ fucking smart, I'm out. But __don't__ cry for me if El comes! You're on your own!"_

And there it was, loneliness. He was alone,again. _No one_ to comfort him when El was done with him, _no one_ to ague with. Not even some one to ask what the god _damn_ time was.

"_Fuck_ this! I don't _need _anybody!" He shook his head. "You can't trust anyone except yourself. Everyone else is always expecting something in return. They always act like the care at first, but when they're done with you they stab you in the back." He sighed. "I _don't_ need anybody!" He let his head rest against the wall. "I don't need _anybody_."

The door slowly opened and everything changed. His heart started to pound and his breathing became uncontrollable. He tried his hardest to look dead, or even asleep. _Anything_ was better than letting him know he was awake. As the quickly approaching footsteps moved closer he started to feel sick. '_Please_ let this be quick', he pleaded. He felt so helpless, like he had felt when his dad had done things to him. A hand touched his shoulder and he stopped breathing, waiting for the pain to come.

"Hello?" A high soft voice said. "Are you awake?" LIZZ! It was that little girl! His body relaxed and he couldn't help it as he sighed in relief. Right now he could have kiss the girl _just_ for being there.

"Yeah, I'm up, if you can call it that." He heard her sit next to him.

"Good. 'Cause it's medication time." And right then he could have hit her in the face.

"And what the fuck do you mean by _that_!" He growled, pissed.

"What do ya think? You need your pills, I don't want to see you that fucked  
up again."

And what was _that _suppose to mean? What did she mean with 'again'? Did it mean she was hanging around for a while? Would she do that, even when she knew what he was and had done?

"Did you have any strange dreams, or feel sick or anything?" She asked, opening the jar with pills.

"Not more than usual, why?" He answered.

"Because I'm guessing with the dosage." She rattled the jar. "Here it says '_every person reacts differently to the medication , handle with care. Not for use without a doctors permission'_ and there is more but my Mexican isn't very good."

"You sound like you're surprised I'm still alive."

"Well, I am a little. Yesterday you where deathly pale and El didn't give you even a day, so yeah, I'm _surprised_."

At the word 'El' Sands jerked up. "Speaking of El, where _is_ he?" He asked  
trying to stay calm.

"He's in town, buying food and other things, nothing important, I think."

"Did he say anything worth knowing?" Sands was starting to feel sick again.

"No, not really. He kept asking me about you, and how I got involved with  
you and things like that."

Sands started to panic. "What did you say!" '_Christ_, try not to sound so desperate', he snapped at himself.

"Nothing of course, _jeez_, why do you guys keep thinking I'm stupid! Istole a _fortune_ remember." She huffed. "I said, I wouldn't answer those questions. 'Cause, you know, I didn't think it was wise to trust him since he worked for my step dad. And that's all I said."

"Oh." He said. That was good news. But still he needed to know _one_ more thing. "And…" he hated to asked it. "And… does he know I'm…" _No_, he was not going to say the B word. Instead of saying it he pointed to his glasses. Then he lowered his head, not wanting to show her his face if the answer was 'yes'.

"No, your sunglasses were one the whole time, and I didn't tell him youwere blind, 'cause the less he knows about you and me, the better." She paused. "He may be El Mariachi, but I'm not as _naïve_ as I use to be."

"Well _hallelujah_ for that." He mumbled, feeling a million times better.

"So, what are we going to do now?" She asked. "We don't have any money, we're on the run, we don't have passports or clothing, and I'm pretty sure El took your gun."

'She said it like I was clueless, I knew our situation!' He bit his lip. What where they going to do? A very good question. He had now idea what they..._wait_...What he was going to do. For her it was simple. She had found El Mariachi, he would help her. He could lead her to the money, split it and then they would be living la vida loca. But he..._That_ was an entirely different story. He was trapped between Mexico and the US. Struggling between the past and his blindness.

"Maybe we should stay with El for a while." She said, interrupting his thoughts. His head shot in her direction.

"Stay...with _El_! Are you _fucking_ out off your mind! That fuckmook will kill me if he gets the chance!"

"Shut it for a sec, wouldya?" Slightly pissed, he closed his mouth.

"Listen, Sands, I know you don't like El but-"

"Not like him! I f_ucking_ wish he would get _castrated_ with a rusty screw!" He yelled in frustration. Lizz rolled her eye's.

Lizz rolled her eyes. "That's very stylish, _but_ let me finish. We should stay with El, 'cause he's good with a gun and he can protect us. We wait until you are healed, mentally _and_ physically, then we hit the road again. We'll just have to wait and see what the future brings us after that." That was the most ridicules plan he had ever heard.

"Luv, see it through my eyes,_ figuratively_ of course...El _hates_ me, and I _hate _him. Right now he's the strongest, so he's in control. I'm not, that's something that pisses me off. That, and the fact that El can hit me in the face and I won't even see it coming. So no deal, I'm out!"

Lizz shut her eye's for a second. 'Stay calm, try not to yell at him, that won't work.' She thought. "Okay, listen. El won't do anything to you, because he isn't the jerk that you think he is. He's an _honest_ man with strong beliefs, not a sneaky manipulator like you. So give him a chance. _I'm_ staying and so are _you_!" Her voice sounded determined.

Sands knew there was no way out of this. It was either El or the gutter, and in this state he would die in a _very_ humiliating way if left to his own devices. Even under these circumstances he would _not_ give up his pride.

So, god _save_ him, El was his only choice.

**Poor Sands, he has a sleep-over with his great enemy. Isn't that interesting? Very interesting? Right now I don't have a clew what's going to happen, BUT, just thinking of the pain El and Sands have to go throw because of living with each other makes me wanna writhe!**

**So next chap will be posted soon I think XD**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	20. Up against the wall

**Can I have you're attention please? Yes thank you! I'm proud to say that this is my longest story so fare. I never touch I would writhe so much English, get so many reviews and stay writhing for so long. So everyone that reviewed this story, THANK YOU! You have no idea how much it means to me to get so many ( POSITIVE) reviews! **

**And again, thanks _fanfiction fanatic_, you're the best BETA, without you the story wouldn't even been half as good! And thanks for the name of the chapter :P! **

**Disclaim: I don't own, I only play with them. But I do own the trilogy 'Desperado', so maybe I own a little…**

**Chapter 20) Up against the wall**

El was driving back to his house. He had bought some food and checked around for people who knew about what happened last night. Luckily he hadn't heard any mention of Sands' escape. Even so he still didn't feel comfortable about helping Sands and the girl. Something was wrong. And he was going to find out what it was, preferably the easy way, but knowing Sands...it was most likely going to be the hard way.

About thirty meters before his house he parked the car. 'Let's see what's going on', he thought. Slowly he stepped out of his car and closed the door silently. Without getting the food he started the walk to his house. About four meters before his house he stopped for a moment, listening for something that he hadn't heard yet. After a minute he started walking to the house again.

'This is absurd, I'm sneaking around my own house', he thought. But still… He wanted to know what was going on while he wasn't around. He ducked a little and looked through the kitchen window. He frowned, the girl wasn't in the kitchen or the living room.

'That's strange, where did she go?' El frowned and walked back to the frontdoor. When he was about to put his key in the look he heard a voice.

"I'm not going!" It's said in a determined tone. El stopped breathing and putted his keys back into his pocket. He knew it was Sands, and he didn't sound very happy. Without thinking he snuck back to the kitchen window, pulled his gun and looked up. He still couldn't see anyone but the window was a slightly open so he could hear Sands better.

" Fuck you, I'm fine, and I'm_ not_ going!" The CIA agent yelled furiously.

"Yes _you_ are, you smell like shit and that wound will get infected if you don't take a shower soon." This time it was the girl, clearly out of patience.

"Still, I'm not going!" Sands said, very certain.

"WHY NOT!" The girl screamed.

"Because."

"That's not an answer, and not even _close_ to a good excuse."

"Like I give a _shit_." The girl cursed.

"Can you please, for the love of _god_, stop being such a stubborn asshole! For once please _stop_ arguing!"

"No, and I like being a stubborn asshole."

The girl sighed. "Okay, then tell me why you won't take a shower? It's totally normal to take showers, so please act like a _normal_ person and take one!"

"No, I won't!"

"Why not!"

" 'Cause I don't know if El, or any other _fuckmook_ that wants me dead, is around. And I don't feel like going up against someone like that without a gun, _savvy_?"

El's anger grew. So he was thinking of killing him. He clenched his fist. He _wouldn't_ give Sands the chance, he had stolen his gun and if that man made one wrong move he _would_ kill _him_.

"I checked the place _five_ times! There is no one in this house except you and me. And now you're going, or else I'll wait 'till El comes home, then _he_ can walk you to the bathroom." Even El could hear the threatening tone in her voice.

"Fine." Sands spat. "_I'll_ take a shower, and afterwards _I'll _kill you." El's eyes narrowed as he checked his ammo. His gun was almost full, if Sands tried anything he would be ready.

"Great, thanks for your _wonderful_ cooperation." The girl cheered. The door opened and she walked out, her hair was in a pony tail with a few of the strands and fallen into her eyes. She had her arm around Sands' good shoulder as they walked. El watched the girl and noticed that she didn't look scared or fearful at all.

Then he looked at Sands and frowned. The man was pale and his steps where shaky. Every few seconds he turned his head and El could see that he was stressed, no not stressed, frightened. El moved a little higher up so he could get a better view. It was strange to see Sands like that. He couldn't remember a time when Sands didn't look cocky and dangerous. He started to wonder what was wrong. Sands stopped walking.

"How can I be so sure you won't let me walk into a wall?" He said worriedly.

" 'Cause I have _never_ done that before and if I do it now, you will start screaming and yelling and probably destroy some of El's stuff. And there is no way I could get you into the bathroom after that, so I won't let you run into a wall." She softly pushed him forward. But Sands still didn't look relieved.

El rose an eyebrow. What was up with Sands? Why did he look so frightened? He stood in the middle of the room and could _see_ that no one was there, so why was he so worried? Without thinking, El kicked a small stone in frustration.

"What was that!"

"S_hit." _El cursed silently,Sands had heard him. He had to get out of there, it would be way too suspicious if they found him out there, without the car and food. As quickly and silently as he could, he hurried back to his car. Angry with himself, he yanked the door open and sat down in the driver's seat. He wasn't in a hurry to get back to his house so he turned the radio on and grabbed a lukewarm bottle of cola out of the grocery bag.

"This is going to be a _long_ day." He muttered.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Why did that little bitch have to bother him? Fucking little brat! First she was speaking to him like a child in an attempt to make him get up, which was extremely annoying. And when he did get up she kept nagging him about taking a shower. Wasn't it obvious that he wasn't exactly worried about his personal hygiene right now. He just wanted to lay down and sleep.

But no, she couldn't let him sleep! She had to get him and make him walk around in a room that he was totally lost in. He had no idea where anything was. Then she has the nerve to use El as a fucking _threat_, he should have killer her. A couple of weeks ago he wouldn't have put up with some one threatening him, not even a little girl...but this wasn't a couple of weeks ago.

"Hello! Are you even listening!" Snapped a voice next to him sounding angry.

"_What_!" He snapped back.

"I, was telling you where everything was. So you better pay attention or else you will end up using bleck instead of shampoo. And I'm sure that wouldn't look that 'great'." It was impossible to miss her sarcasm.

"Hold your smart ass comments, girl. You're in no position to talk like that!" He said in a cold voice, it was barely above a growl.

"Like _you _are." Lizz scoffed rolling her eyes. "Face it, Sands, where on the same level, _no one's_ in control this time." She looked back at the bathroom. "Like I said the-" She didn't got the chance to finish her sentence before Sands grabbed her by the neck and pushed her against the nearest wall.

"_What _did you say?" He said his voice alarmingly calm. Lizz balanced on the tips of her toes, shocked by his actions. Then her eyes narrowed. She forcefully grabbed his hands and tried to pull them off of her throat.

"What the_ fuck_ are you doing! Let me go!"

"Don't thinks so, _luv_, first answer the question." He replied coldly. He pushed her a little bit higher. Lizz gasped for air and looked down, trying to find a spot to place her feet.

"Let me go, idiot, your going to kill me!" She yelled frightened.

"Now, now, don't be rude. And choking you would take to long, I prefer fast and easy." With his free hand he stroked over the back of her neck. "Breaking your neck for instance." He looked up, so she looked right into his dark sunglasses. "So, I ask you again, who's in control?" Lizz swallowed loudly, utterly terrified as she looked into his dark sunglasses.

"You are."

Sands smiled. "Good, I'm glad that we talked that out…" He suddenly let her go and she landed on her butt. She cursed and rubbed her neck.

"_Bastard_!"

"Sticks and stones. Now tell me again, where's the shower."

Furious, she looked up. "Find it yourself, you fucking _idiot_, you almost killed me!" She stood up and ran to the door. "I hope you drown!" And with a loud _bang_ she slammed the door shut.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After an hour of being in the showing, hoping to _god_ that he had used the shampoo, and almost breaking his back after stepping out of the shower, Sands was dressed and pretty happy with himself. Not only did he feel ten times better, but he had also discovered that he could shower without assistance. To many that didn't sound like much, but to _him_ that sounded like he had taken one step closer to being independent.

Humming he opened the bath room door and stepped into the living room. It hit him. He had no idea where he was, or where he came from. 'Great, there goes the happy feeling. I feel like a fucking ecstasy _addict_ with all these ups and downs.'

"Lizz?" He said, questioning from his place in the doorway. Silent ._Fuck. _Where did the little brat go? "Lizz?" He said again, this time a little bit louder. 'Is she playing games with me?' He wondered. "Lizz, for _fucks_ sake, answer!"

"Lizz, _isn't_ here." She said from the other side of the room. "Leave a message after the beep." Sands smirked.

"You're still mad aren't ya? It's your own fault, you know." He laughed and walked further into the room. After a few steps his foot bumped against something and he fell forwards. Just in time he raised his good arm to stop himself from falling on his face. To his annoyance the girl started to laugh, very loudly.

"Look, the dangerous Sheldon Jeffery Sands fell on his ass! Who's in control _now_, bastard." Again she started to laugh. Incredibly pissed off, Sands tried to get up.

"Oh, don't move to far to the left, there is some broken glass." She announced. Sands wasn't wearing any shoes so he sat down on his knees.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing!" His voice was full of rage. "Do you think this is fucking funny!"

"A little." She giggled. "But it's more about revenge, and since you already made it clear that you are stronger than me, I had to cheat a little. See it like _creative_ sportsmanship." Lizz smiled viciously, looking proudly at the very mad agent.

"How dare you use _this_." He pointed to his glasses. "Against me! That's pretty _fucking_ low!"

"Oh, and forcing me against the wall wasn't! Especially when I told you my life story, maybe not the details, but I thought you were smart enough to figure it out. Why do you think I left?" She didn't wait for his response. "Because _he_ tried to rape me. If it wasn't for some guy that just happened to walk in, I would have kissed my virginity good bye...and what you did made me think about what happened in the bath room. How would you feel if some fucked up guy pushes you against the wall, threatens you and ask how's in control!" She looked at Sands and watched his mouth drop open.

"Yeah, You didn't think about that, huh? Stupid _fuck_, stupid, _stupid _idiot.You're so fucking egocentric, you don't even care if you hurt me with you're _fucked up_ games! El was _right,_ it's a all a _game_ to you! I'm nothing more then a freaking _TOY_!" She heard her voice jump a few pitches. "Good thing I'm not that naïve anymore! Next time you touch me like that I _will _be carrying a gun, just so you know."

She stood up from the sofa and walked carefully around the pieces of broken glass, the small table she had placed in the middle of the room, and the pieces of rope she had tied from one side of the wall to the other as she walked to the front door and stopped.

"You think you're so god damn smart? Then save your _own_ ass! I'm _out_, you're on your_ own_!" She said coldly as she opened the door and walked out. She kicked the door shut and sat down on the veranda. She sighed and raked her hand through her hair. "Let's see who's in control _now_." She thought looking at the door. "Fucking _bastard_…"

**Great job Sands, within three chapters you mangiest to fuck everything up again. I think that's must be a personal record. **

**Sorry by the way that this chap is so short, but my school and homework are trying to kill me. ( fucker up bastard…) But the good thing is I'm hocked to continue this story AND I (FINALY) have a idea what's going to happen! ( applause people!) **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow  
**


	21. The hardest thing to say

**Major thanks to my Beta! She again made the chap so much better! And I luv Sands his lines:D**

**Disclaim: I don't own the characters from OUATIM. Just play with them. **

**Chapter 21) The hardest thing to say **

Tiered and sweaty El drove back to his house. It was around five PM, but he still didn't feel like going back. He wasn't worried about the CIA agent, no...no he _wasn't_ worried about him, but for some reason he felt like the fifth wheel. A stranger in his own house.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and concentrated on the road. There wasn't much to see. Just a peaceful little village with friendly civilians. But, looks can be deceiving, El had learned that from many years of experience. El _knew_ there was always more to something than you could see. He still clearly remembered the village where he had met Carolina for the first time. It had been, and probably still was, a very friendly looking village, on the outside at least. But after further inspection you could see kids selling drugs on the street corners and the Cartel hanging about. On more than one occasion they had tried to kill him during his stay there. Luckily he had made it out alive and with his belongings...well _belonging_, at that time all he had was his guitar case...and Carolina.

"Carolina…" He sighed.

Every day he missed her more than the day before, it felt like it had been an eternity since her death, but he could still see her at times, holding their daughter's hand. She looked so real, sometimes he would suddenly be able to smell her, she had always smelled like strawberries and roses. But these apparitions never lasted and each time she left he was miserable again. Each time she came and left again was another time he couldn't save them.

"But this time I _won't_ fail!" He whispered to himself. "This time I _will _save her." He looked up at his house and to his surprise he saw the girl sitting on the veranda "What the...?" He parked the car and stepped out, forgetting the groceries. "Didn't I _specifically_ tell you to stay inside!" He spat at her angry. Slowly the girl looked up. Her eyes where red and there was wet trails running down her face. She had been crying.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed sadly. El's gaze softened at the sight of the girl. He walked towards her and sat down next to her.

"What's wrong, why aren't you inside?" She looked up at him, still a little bit frightened.

"Nothing's wrong, I just don't want to stay in the same room as that _hypocritical_ piece of _shit_." She looked at the front door. " I _never_ want tosee that bastard again!" She spat as El raised both eyebrows. Last time he had seen her she had almost seemed to like Sands, so why didn't she now?

"What did he do to you?" He asked as he watched tears start to well up in her eyes. Her bottom lip began to tremble and she made an attempt to speak.

"He.. he.." She began to cry and started to talk so fast that it was impossible to understand what she was talking about. "He.. got.. mad.. I.. told.. take.. a.. shower.. He.. got.. pissed.. about.. control.. grabbed... throat... pushed.. against… wall…" Her crying got worse. " I.. got scared.. cause.. ago.. tried to… rape me.." And she stared to sob again.

"HE TRIED TO _WHAT_!" El jumped to his feet, filled with much more than hate as he kicked open the door, cracking the wood as he did so.

"No, no, _he_ didn't-" He girl yelled, but El was to furious to listen to what she said. He ran into the house looked around and saw Sands sitting on thefloor in the middle of the living room.

"YOU!" El screamed. Sands didn't even get the changes to turn his head before El dragged him up by his wounded arm and slammed him against the wall. Sands yelled in pain.

"Motherfucker! Keep your _fucking _claws off of me!" Sands reflexively tried to kick El in the legs...it wasn't very effective, except maybe in fuelling El's rage.El pushed Sands high up the wall, holding him by the neck.

"How do_ you_ like it, _bastardo_!" He spit in Sands face. The man in his arm was frozen. El's eyes narrowed, and channelling his rage, he punched the man the stomach. Sands collapsed and moaned, fighting for air. El didn't feel a shred of pity.

"Why did you do it? To feel _superior_? Or was it so that you would be in control, like you _always_ claim you are!" He hit Sands again then pulled the man away from the wall and closer to his face so that Sands was only being held up by El. "Guess what, _I_ _am _this time!" And with that slammed Sands back against the wall, the sheer force of the action cause Sands head to snap backwards and slam into the wall.

Sands head dropped slightly forward as he tried to clear his foggy brain. As he did this his sunglasses slowly slid down his nose, coming almost completely off. Totally unaware, he raised his head up again and 'looked' at El.

El's watched as the man before him slowly raised his head, and El could see behind Sands sunglasses. What he saw made him gasp in terror. He quickly released Sands and stepped backwards as the man fell to the floor, his sunglasses separating from his face.

"Estimado dios!" His mouth dropped. "El no tiene ojo!" Sands cocked his head.

"What? Why did you stop hitting me? I'm not dead yet, and I'm not even _close_ to screaming for mercy." He smiled coldly using his good hand to swipe his hair away from his face. He momentarily froze. Quickly he touched the upper area of his face.

"Fuck!" He 'looked' in El's direction and paled. "_Fuck_!" Sands scrambled towards the wall in an attempt to get up, smashing his sunglasses in the process. "Fuck no! You can't! You _can't_ know!" And without any warning Sands fell forward, passing out.

"Jerk! Look what you've done!"

El turned around just in time to...get smacked in the face. He took a step backwards, rubbing his stinging cheek. He looked down into the furious eyes of Lizz.

"Idiot!" She kicked him. "How _could_ you!" She tried to hit him again, but Elwas faster and caught her fist.

"What's your problem. That man tried to _rape_ you." El said, catching her other fist.

"No, idiot! _He_ didn't! _He_ only threatened me like _he _does every fucking day,only this time he reminded me of my step dad, and _that's_ what I was so upset about!" She started to sob again. "I already got even with him earlier, I just didn't _want_ to talk to him, I _wanted_ to be mad for a while, that's all! And when I get upset I can't speak proper English, and I stammer...a lot." She pulled her arms loose and stepped back. "Now look what you did to him!" Tears rolled over her cheek. "You almost_ killed_ him!"

El turned to Sands. Okay, so that wasn't the best decision he had ever made. The girl walked past him and knelt down next to Sands.

"He's bleeding again." She told him. El sighed and walked towards Sands. He looked at the unmoving man and knelt next to him and Lizz. Slowly he turned the man on his back and quickly looked away when he saw the hollow eye sockets.

"How'd...that...happen? He asked a little more than a bit disturbed.

"He never told me in details, but I _think_ the Cartels drilled his eyes out right before the coup started. He never told me why, he doesn't like to talk about it. He…" She took a moment to find the right words. "He doesn't _want _to talk about it, he's afraid of what people will think of him." She noticed El'ssurprised look and continued after a short pause.

"Ow yes, he's scared." She nodded. "He's afraid of rejection, I think that's why he keeps his distance, so that he doesn't have to worry about being rejected." She looked back at Sands. "I think that's _why_ he tries to hurt me sometimes, so I'll go away. He has a right to think everyone is going to leave him, ya know, 'Cause that's what's happened his _whole_ life, _everyone_ he cared about either left or betrayed him." She bit her lip. "It's pretty sad because I think that is what is _really_ hurting him...not knowing what to expect of people. He doesn't know what other people will do if he drops his guard, or what he should do if they stay."

El listened breathlessly to the little girl. That _couldn't_ be it. Sands _wasn't_ like that. He was just an ignorant killer that thought about only one thing..._himself_. He did have a bit of pity for the man, though, even Sands didn't deserve to have his eyes drilled out. He was also a _little_ guilty about beating a blind man half to death.

"Let's carry him to the sofa." The girl nodded slowly, not looking away from Sands. They carried Sands to the sofa and laid him on it. His face was set in a grimace, he was as pale as death and he didn't seem to know what was going on.

"I'll get some warm water." El said, standing up. "His head is bleeding."Lizz only nodded and didn't look up.

"And…" El cursed himself for saying it but he had to. ".. I'm sorry I beat Sands, it was a stupid thing to do without knowing what had happened." 'Of course it was about time that Sands got paid back for some of the things he's done.' He thought, but saying it out loud was probably not a good idea.

Lizz shook her head.

"Don't tell me that, tell him when he wakes up." She said looking back at Sands.

El glared at the man's inert form. 'No way am I telling tell him I'm sorry'. "Fine." He said without enthusiasm, but Lizz wasn't paying much attention to El.

"_Jesus_…" She whispered when she saw a line of blood roll over the left side of his face. "I'm sorry Sands, I didn't want this to happened to you." She tried to hold back her tears. "I'm _so_ sorry this happened. I was just upset about what you had done. I didn't want El to… I'm so _sorry_…"

"Well, 'can't blame ya." Lizz eyes grew wide.

"Sands! You're awake?" A painful grin appeared on his face.

"I can't see a fucking thing." He shook his head. "I feel like River Dance is being held in my head, and I can't feel my arm." His grin got bigger. "Yeah, I'd say I'm awake."

"So I guess...you_ did_ hear what I said then." Lizz shut her eyes, not wanting to know the answer.

"It was pretty fucking _hard _to miss girl, you where _practically_ on top of me."

"Fuck it, the _one_ time I do say I'm sorry when you get hurt, you're awake. _Great_." She rolled her eyes. He laughed.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I must say it was a _lovely_ speech. " He joked sounding like his old self.

"You're _never_ going to let me forget this, are ya?" Lizz asked looking like she was in an immense amount of pain. Sands laughed.

"No. _FUCKING_. Way. I wish I had gotten it on tape!"

"I could ask El to knock you out again, then I could tape it for you. It might not be as convincing as the first time though" She replied. At the name 'El' Sands tensed, he tried to hide it.

"Speaking of _almighty _El, where is he?" His brain stopped for a moment. El _knew_! El _fucking_ knew he was blind. A blind _eyeless_ freak. And he had _let_ El take control. No, he had let him _beat_ him. Beat the shit out of him. Sands stopped breathing. He knew from experience what happened when someone knew they were stronger than you. He had learned from the master.

"Listen, _don't_ tell El I woke up. Just tell him to fuck off, _don't_ let him close to me. I… I can't..." He stopped. "Don't let him close." Lizz nodded.

"Okay, I won't."

"Good." He sighed. He still had one more thing to say. The only problem was the one thing had always been a difficult thing for him to say. In fact it was one of the most difficult. It was up there with 'I love you.' and 'I forgive you.". He would have preferred to be standing in front of a firing squad instead of attempting to say it. 'But I have to', he thought, 'No I won't...But I _have_ to.' He gritted his teeth. 'Okay, _fuck_ it, I'll say it now, before I can think clear again. "Lizz.." He started.

"Yeah?" She said surprised, probably because he was actually using her name, and not some randomly devised nickname.

"_Okay_, I'm only going to say this _once_, so listen good." He paused. "This is just my concussion talking, don't get any ideas..._okay_..."

"Okay…" Her voice sounded ten times more surprised and curious. '_Shit_, now I have to say it.' He struggled to find the right words, the ones that would fit. But, oddly enough he could think of anything...anything _good_ at least.

"Okay, listen, I didn't mean to make you upset or..._fuck_...I mean, mad or anything and I especially didn't want you to start sobbing and shit... and…uhh that stuff you yelled about how I was acting..." His hands turned into fist. '_Fuck,_ I'm rambling like a imbecile'. "But anyway… I'm…" He coughed. "Sorry."

A silence like no other before it filled the room. 'Was it that bad?' He began to wonder. Well..._Fuck_ her! I'm not saying something like that ever again! It was a one time deal. Hell, I'm not even_ thinking_ about saying something like that again! Then she started to sob and he nearly jumped. "WHAT!" He growled in frustration.

"Nothing…" She laugh. "Just scared to death! Normally you shout, scream or yell threats at me.It is just so _shocking_. She chuckled. "Where's a camera when you need one."

"Don't get any ideas, Lizzy-O. First, last, and _only_ time, I fucking _swear_." Stiffly he held up his good arm. "I _swear_." Then strangely enough he fell asleep.

**Okay, if Sands gets OOC, right now, TELL ME! Man, you have no idea how long it took me to come up with something decent to let Sands say at the 'sorry part'. **

El's Spanish lines, I think smart to know what he said:

**Estimado dios Dear god.  
El no tiene ojo he has no eye's! **

Luvzzz /Sue-AnneSparrow.


	22. Never underestimate your enemy

**Again, thanks to my wonderful beta Fanfiction fanatic! HAIL TO YOU:P**

**Chapter 22) Never underestimate your enemy**

The Next morning El woke up, stretched his arms and got up. Stiffly, he stumbled into the bath room. There he washed his face and put his hair into a ponytail. As he looked into the mirror he noticed the dark circles around his eyes. Lack of sleep, and of course, living with your enemy, normally doesn't cause a person to feel all that great.

It was pretty pathetic really. For more than half the night he had been tossing and turning. He couldn't stop thinking about what the girl had told him about Sands, and everytime he thought he was about to drift into sleep Sands' eyeless face shook him into wakefulness. He felt bad for Sands, being shot was one thing, but having your eyes drilled out...honestly he was surprised that Sands' was still alive. No man could possibly deserve a fate like that, not even a cold blooded killer.

After thinking it over he came to a decision. All he felt for Sands was pity, nothing more. Finally, he managed to fall asleep for a brief few hours.

El walked into the living room and glared at the still form of Sands that was residing on the sofa. Last night the girl had disinfected his head wound and tied a piece of old shirt around his eyes ,or what was left of them anyways. El walked a few steps closer. 'Maybe he died', he thought. Slowly he reached out his hand to touch the man's shoulder.

"WAIT!"

El jumped and pulled his hand back, turning around. It was Lizz, holding two glasses of water.

"_What_?" He asked, irritated.

"Let him sleep." She said. "He needs it, _and _he can't bother you if he is sleeping.."

"Good point." El walked to the kitchen table and sat down. Lizz followed and plopped down in the chair next to him.

"Why two glasses of water?" El asked while pointing at the glasses.

"Oh uhh… got thirsty." She started to turn red.

'She's _not_ telling something, he thought. I can hear it in her voice. " Did  
he wake up yet?" He asked in a gentle tone.

"No." She answered curtly.

'He did'. His eyes narrowed. "_Lizz_ look me in the eyes." The girl looked up with wide eyes.

"Did he, or did he _not_, wake up?" He asked again, this time with more force.

"No...he didn't." Immediately after she said it she looked at the floor. El didn't push the issue, he knew enough. The only thing he didn't quite understand was, _why_ she was lying. He stood up and picked up the car keys from the table.

"Come, where going into town."

"_Why_?" She looked up again and didn't look thrilled to be leaving.

"Because everything I bought yesterday was out all day in the sun, and by now I doubt it is edible. And I figured you would like to get some_ normal_ clothes." He gestured to the large shirt she was wearing. El smiled when he saw the look on her face, but she was still wary about leaving.

"And what about Sands?" She asked as she glanced at the man on the sofa. El cursed under his breath.

"He'll be fine. Like you said, he's asleep. And we will be back before he wakes up." He said quietly so as not to wake the man sleeping on the sofa.

"But what if your boss shows up, or some other _bastard_ who wants him  
dead comes here." El rolled his eyes.

"Listen that man _doesn't_ know where I live, I've only met him once. And if there are any Cartels around they'll follow us, I'm worth more to them than Sands is." At his explanation, Lizz sighed, she wasn't getting out of this one.

"Alright, alright, I'll go." She voiced while stepping into her shoes. 'This sucks', she thought. She _knew_ that Sands wasn't actually sleeping because only a few minutes earlier he had asked, well actually he had _ordered_ her, to get him something to drink. Stupid El! She was just glad that she had been in time to stop El from touching Sands. Many unpleasant things could have happened if he had.

"Are you coming or what?" El yelled from outside.

"Yes, chill, I'll be there in a sec!" She yelled back as she looked at Sands. She knew it sounded stupid, but it still stung when she left him alone like this. 'Not like I have a choice though.' She reminded herself. 'Nothing I can do about it now.' She thought as she closed the door and walked towards the car. Then her mind switched gears and started to think of other things. Like the new clothes she was going to be getting _very_ soon.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"So, now can you explain what's going on. I _especially_ want to know why you are with Sands." El began after a few miles of road was behind them.

"No, I can't." She answered without looking up. El growled, and he had thought Sands was a pain in the ass.

"Need I remind you that _I_ saved your life and that _I_ am currently letting you stay in my house?

"No, I know that." This time she did look up. "But I _also _know that you did business with my step dad, and he is one of the biggest ass's in the world." She revealed, causing El to frown.

"So...he's your step dad." After hearing this she slapped her forehead in frustration.

"Oh, shit! I'm so _fucking_ stupid!" She sighed. "Well, since I just gave that away, and since I _know_ you aren't going to let up, I mine as well tell you the rest of the story. _But_, you can't tell Sands that I told. He would definitely shoot me."

"I swear I won't tell him."

"Well here goes nothing." She sighed as she started to tell El her story, The story of here dad who had left, and of her mom. Of how hopeless she had felt when her step dad tried to rape her. How she felt when she kicked out of the house by her own mom, because she didn't believe her. She told him about the money she had stolen, and about her escape to Mexico, where she had found Sands. Then she went on to tell him about their escape from the house and of how she had them been stuck with him.

"At first I hated him." She told. "But after a while, I stopped letting him scare me with the threats and the guns. After I stopped letting his threats bothering me, it turned out he was an okay guy. I mean, I know he isn't the _nicest_ guy out there..._Hell_, I even know about everything he has done. I _know_ about all of the people he has killed, and about the people he set up only to watch as they fell, taking the money as he went. But he's also the first guy to _ever_ stand up for me." She said slowly as she thought back to the bar where Sands had broken that man's nose for touching her. "And _that_...means alot to me." She finished watching as El raised an eyebrow.

"That sounds very heroic, but did he know about the money?"

"Yeah, I told him."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but couldn't he have just been in it for the money? I mean...yeah he's blind, but he _is_ still Sands, and to him you would be an easy way to cash in.

"_Fine_, if you wanna think of it that way, I _don't_ really care." She answered as she made a disgruntle face. "But has it _ever _accured to you that you don't exactly have the best record either-"

"That's different." He interrupted.

"In _what_ way." With an angry glare she stared into his eyes. "_You_ have probably killed more people than Sands. But _you_ won't own up to it, at least Sands'is man enough to admits he is a killer. _You_ blame everyone else by saying they are 'bad'. Have you ever thought for a second about all of the husbands, dads, sons and brothers that you are killing? I _know_ Sands' excuse, what's yours?"

El Slammed his hand on the dashboard as she finished speaking. "It's _not_ the same! Don't you _ever_ compare me to that sick bastard. He is _not _brave. The only thing he is , is a rat. He makes people do his dirty jobs for him, kills them, and then finds the next idiot he can use to make money! I _never_ wanted this, I _never_ wanted to kill people. All I wanted to do was be a musician and to live in peace. I just wanted to be happy with my Carolina and daughter, _but_ because of people like Sands they both died. And like _you_, I took my revenge!" His fingers were digging into the leather of the wheel.

" I never knew that." She whispered.

"Well, now you do." He snapped.

"Can I ask something?" She asked softly.

"Yes, but I may not answer." He replied. She was quiet for a moment before she started to speak.

"How did you get involved with my step dad? I mean you're the 'good guy'"

"I needed money. It's hard for a mariachi to make a living these days... One night a man walked up to me and said that he had a job for me to do. He said that his boss had captured two traitors, and that they wanted me to 'convince' them to cooperate. He then told me that one of the prisoners was Sands, obviously they knew I had worked for him. I guess they thought he would talk sooner if he knew I was the 'bad cop'. They probably thought Sands knew where the money was."

"So you didn't know that you would have to hurt a girl for the money?"

"No, of course I didn't know that. Do you _honestly_ think I like to hurt people? I'm not like that. All I want is to stop Mexico from falling to pieces." He answered and watched as her eyes softened.

"I totally figured you wrong." She replied and saw El's eyes soften as he pulled the car over.

"We're here."  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz was really disappointed when she found out that El was only giving her a half an hour to find clothes. Meanwhile he was going to be getting food. Moodily, Lizz walked through the small shop, looking at the clothes.

"This _really_ sucks..." She mumbled after seeing the hideous apparel the store sold. After ten minutes of fruitless searching, she walked out of the shop that she had promised to stay in. "El won't mind. I'll be back before he even knows I am gone."

She sped up as she walked into a crowd of tourists. She grinned as she saw all of the burned red faces that were dressed in cheap shorts and tacky shirts.

"Lets see...I have around 500 pesos. That's not much, but who am_ I_ to complain, I have had to work with less. I'll just have to use my _amazing_ shopping expertise."

She walked into the first clothing store she saw. She bought a couple of t-shirt, a baggy pair of jeans, a jacket, underwear and one pair sneakers.She also thought of Sands, and bought some stuff for him. Guessing with the sizes she bought two black t-shirts, a pair of dark blue jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. She also found a belt that he could put his holster on and a cheap black cowboy hat.

"Now for a pair of sunglasses." She smiled to herself. Suddenly she stopped walking as her eyes focuses on a pair of dark sunglasses. "My god!" She whispered as she looked into the window.

The sunglasses in question where mirrored and quiet dark, definitely better than Sands' last pair. She gazed at her self in the glasses and said, " I have got to get those." Then she noticed the price. "_Fuck_, I don't even have enough for the screws..." She cursed, but her mind was already working out the problem. "I could just take them, they're_ just_ a pair of sunglasses." She whispered and smiled again. "Yeah it isn't that bad, and they're not even for me anyways..."

As silently as possible, she snuck into the shop. Behind the counter she saw a large man who looked to be in his forties, listening to his diskman and reading a magazine.

'Perfect.' She thought as she tip toed to the sunglass's display. The label said that they were reinforced and practically indestructible. 'We'll see about that.' She thought as she slipped the glasses into her pocket as quickly as possible.

"Oye, qué usted hace!" A loud voice yelled.

Lizz turned around and saw that the man had stopped reading his magazine.

"Qué tiene usted en usted es el bolsillo!" The man stood up from the  
counter.

"_Fuck_!" Lizz's eyes grew wide. She made a run for it and jumped out of the mans reach before slamming into the door. The shrill alarm went off as she ran into the street.

"Obténgala!" The man yelled in frustration. People turned around and looked at Lizz as she ran by them. She looked around.

"Shit!" She whispered when she looked behind her and saw that the man from the store was getting closer. She kept running and periodically she ran into people, out of no where a hand grabbed her. She screamed in surprised and desperation as she pulled loose and walked right into an old lady's fruit and vegetable cart. Lizz spun around and landed in the center of the stand.

"Santa Maria!" The old lady screamed when she saw all her goods broken. She started to yell and curse as she tried to hit Lizz with a stick. Luckily Lizz was fast enough to avoid the stick, she took off running like she was being chased by the devil himself.

"This really _isn't_ my day!" she panted as she looked around and saw that she still had quiet a big lead on the man. "Or maybe it is-" She had spoken too soon because right after she said that she tripped on a loose brick and fell into someone. She stumbled backwards and fell butt first into a mud puddle.

"On second thought, _no_...this isn't my day." She mumbled, looking at her new, now brown, pants.

"Obtuvole!" She got dragged to her feet and when she looked up she saw the red face of the man. He started to shake her as he yelled about the sunglasses. As he was about to hit her, she was dragged away. She looked up and to her surprise she saw...El.

"What did you do _now_!" He said in a very low, very mad, voice.

"Nothing." She said looking as innocent as she could. It might have worked if the sunglasses guy had stopped yelling about the stolen merchandise. El looked at the man and silently pushed her behind him. Still holding her shoulder.

"I'll pay for the glasses, si?" He opened his wallet and gave some bills to the still furious man. The man counted the money and nodded slowly. Then he looked back at Lizz and once again started to cuse and yell.

Lizz made a face at the man and stuck out her tongue. That made the man even more furious. He pointed at Lizz and started to whine about the glasses. Lizz looked bored as the man continued to spit all kinds of curses in her face.

Finally after El gave him a dangerous look the man walked away, holding the money like it was his baby. Lizz rolled her eyes, some people…

Before she could think of a good excuse, El turned her around which almost made her fall..._again_.

"_What_ do you think you where doing!" He screamed furiously. "I told you to stay in _that_ shop! I told you _twice_, not to do anything stupid! Is that so hard to understand!" He didn't wait for an answer. "You stole a pair of sunglasses! Are you out of your mind! The _whole_ town saw you running! Did you _ever_ stop to think about what would happen if the police had come!" He yelled, surprising Lizz, who took a step back.

"I didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean, _what_! Didn't mean to steal a stupid pair of glasses, run through the entire town, break an old lady's stuff, make me worry...Stop me when I come up with what you were going to say!" He pointed at her. "If you do something _stupid_ like that again, you're _out_! Think about that! You and Sands are OUT!" He glared at her and saw her eyes grow wide as she noticeably paled.

"I understand." She whispered, looking at her feet.

"_Good_, now let's go!" He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the car.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

During the ride back, neither of them said a word. After El stopped the car, Lizz quickly grabbed her stuff and jumped out. El soon followed carrying the food he had bought.

Sands 'looked' up as he heard El walk in the room, he was already wearing his new glasses.

"Look, it's the _almighty_ El...he can't even baby sit a little girl.." He mocked.

"Shut up." He snapped, putting the food in the refrigerator. He heard Sands'sarcastic laugh coming from the living room.

"Pretty pathetic, El, I mean even_ I_ could handle her and I didn't have a daughter to practice with…"

'He's trying to get to you, El, _don't_ let him win'. He cracked his knuckles and took a deep breath. ' I don't care if he is trying to get to me, one more word about my daughter and I _will_ kill him!'

Sands smiled smugly, he _knew_ he had pushed the right button. He would show El! If he couldn't beat him in a physical fight, he would beat him in a verbal one. He would irritate him to death! He had been planning this the whole morning, ever since they had left. He knew El cared about the girl, and _she_ had told El not to hurt him again. Now he had some control over El...and that was _very _interesting…He smirked devilish.

"I mean what's so hard about being a dad? I _can't_ figure that out. You just have to watch them, smack them if they're annoying..." He lowered his voices a little. "And don't get them shot."

"_Sands, _give it a break, wouldya." Said a frustrated voice a couple of steps  
away.

"What?" He asked innocently as he turned his attention to Lizz.

"_Quit_ fucking around, I_ don't_ want to get kicked out of El's house. So keep your mouth shut. Now, scotch over, I wanna watch tv."

Sands did move a little. 'I'm not letting her order me around or anything, but this is thanks for getting me those sunglasses...and pissing off El.' He heard her switch the tv on. She moved a little and he looked in her direction.

"So, what _exactly_ happened in town? Did you get caught?"

She sighed. "Yeah...I did. It was _so_ stupid, I finally got a headstart and then I bumped into someone. I landed in a puddle of mud and before I knew it the guy from the shop was right next to me. It _really_ sucked, I thought I had made it." She explained glancing over at the smirking form of Sands.

"Told you, you always have to watch where you're going. Or carry a gun, _that _,also works very well."

"Yes, but I don't _have_ a gun remember. And I probably would have shot the wrong guy or-" She stopped talking and kicked him softly in the leg.

Sands tensed and heard heavy footsteps walk into the room. 'Oh _fucking_ wonderfull, 'The' has entered the room. Everybody run...'

"_Don't_ teach her things like that." El snapped at Sands. Sands glared at him.

"Or what? You'll _sing_ me to death?" His trademark grin slid onto his face.

"Shut up, _gringo_, or I'll make you regret it." The man said in a low threatening tone.

"_What_?" Sands asked innocently, still grinning. "I'm just saying you can't _make_ me do anything, or _stop_ me from doing anything."

"You're walking a very, _very_ thin line Sands..." El growled as Sands sat up a little.

"Oh no, don't hurt me oh _great_ El Mariachi. I am _so_ scared, you are _so_ much stronger than me...I think I am going to piss my pants." He turned his head in El's direction and lowered his voice. "Don't _even_ think about threatening me again fuckmook, or it will be the last thing you do."

Lizz looked from El to Sands. They both looked like they were ready to kill the other. And if that wasn't bad enough, she was right in the middle of it.

"What could you do about it." El continued. "You don't have a gun."

"I don't _need_ one." Sands cracked his knuckles. El started to laugh.

"You want to hit me? How? You're blind."

"Oh… _Shit_." Lizz whispered. Within a second Sands was on his feet. He pushed his glasses firmly against his head then stood stock still."_What_ did you say?" He hissed.

Unimpressed, El looked at the CIA agent. "You're blind, you _can't_ see me."

Before he knew it Sands had jumped forward, hitting him directly in the jaw. Sands then pulled the gun out of the other man's belt. El groaned and landed on the floor, the sheer force of the punch had made him dizzy. He gently touched his jaw, grimacing at the throbbing pain originating from it. He slowly opened his eyes and was staring right into a pair of dark sunglasses.

"You were saying?" Sands raised both eye brows and pointed the gun in El's direction. He then purposely missed El's head, but only by few ins.

"Never underestimate your enemy El… _never_." Slowly Sands placed the gun in his own belt. "I'll keep this beauty with me, just in case you forget what I said." He turned his head and 'looked' at Lizz. "I need a smoke, did you get any cigarettes?"

**Owh, I love to piss Sands off. Really I do. It's so much fun to let him get mad and let him do the thing he's good at. ( Threatening, shooting, hurting, you name it).**

**Thanks for reading again. Next chap can take a wiled, I'm little bit out of ideas. **


	23. Que Quieres En La Vida

**Disclaim: Don't own, El, Sands and any other OUATIM quotes, all from the talented Robert Rodriquez.**

**Chapter 23) Que Quieres En La Vida.**

He was in a deep sleep, a very deep wonderful sleep. He had his back against the couch's cushions, and for the first time in weeks he was sleeping peacefully.

He wasn't really dreaming, in a sense he was reliving. He was able to watch himself as he stood up from the couch and jump at El. He smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he saw himself punch El. He smile grew as he watched the other Sands snatch El's gun. The look on El's face was priceless, it was one of pure shock. He wished he could go up to the shocked musician and kick him, no reason really, it might be fun...but he knew from experience that this was one of those dreams where you could only watch. All you could do is watch even if you saw yourself on an iron table getting your eyes drilled out...

But he didn't complain, he was content at being able to see himself in control didn't matter that it was just for a moment. The only problem with the dream was that he couldn't picture the girl. He had a general idea of what she looked like. He knew the basic things, like her hair and eye colour and her height, but he couldn't imagine her. Which makes sense since he had never seen her and there is alot more to a person than hair, eyes, and height, but it was still a bit strange. Anyway, back to the dream.

His grin turned slightly more sinister as he watched himself almost shoot El in the head. It had been closer than he had thought, a little closer and the mariachi would have had one hell of a headache. Not that it would have mattered much, the girly would have freaked, but she'd get over it. Pulling out of his thoughts he looked back into the room, or his take on the room because he really had no idea what it looked like. There he saw himself sitting down as he smoked a cigarette.

"Sands?"

'What the…. ?' Slowly the images started to blur.

"Sands."

_'No_, fuck!' He thought as everything went slowly from coloured to grey and finally to black. _Shit_ he was awake again! Which fucker had woken him up!

"Sands!" It sounded very loudly from beside him. He growled and scratched his bare chest.

"Fuck, I wanna sleep." He mumbled, still half asleep.

"Sands! _Wake_ up!" The voice continued as he cocked his head in the direction of the voice.

"_What_! What the _fuck_ do you want this time, girly! I was _asleep_! I dreamed, for the first time in _weeks_ about something good! About hurting El, so fuck off and let me sleep!" He listened for a response, and all he heard was a frustrated sigh. 'If anyone has a right to be frustrated...it's me!" He thought angrily.

"Listen, I didn't mean to upset you, but you have to get up, I have to look at you're eyes."

"Very funny." He snapped. "Ha.Ha ! Let's make fun of the eyeless gunfighter, how _hilarious_!" He looked away. "Fucking brat, _don't_ say that again, remember, I have my gun back!"

"No, no I didn't mean it like that!" She said quickly. " I need to check if there is any infection or bleeding."

"And _why_ do you think _I_ would let _you_ do that!" Pissed he sat up and tried to look as threatening as he could.

"I didn't think you would let me." She paused. "_But _it has to be done...and if you wait to long there could be more damage." At that comment Sands raised an eyebrow.

"_More_ damage? Are you sure you still have _your _eyes?"

"C'mon Sands, you _know_ what I mean, don't act so…so...much like yourself and let me see."

"_No_ I don't want you to!" He pulled the blanket over his bare chest. " I don't want you to start treating me like a child either. Don't think I won't shoot you, I have the gun! Fuck. Off." ' Why _won't_ she go away? Why is she so god damn close? And _why_ doesn't she understand that I _don't_ want people to see me like this!'

"Sands it has to be done. If I don't do it now, it could get infected and then you will have to go to a doctor and more people will see you."

He didn't like the idea of a whole hospital seeing what was behind the  
glasses, but still...

"What if El walks in." He whispered. It sounded pathetic...but he was _really _worried about that.

"It's about six a.m., I don't think El will wake up for at least the next four hours." She yawned. "How stupid do you think I am?"

'Pretty stupid...your still around.' He laid down slowly. He held his breath and took off the glasses. All the control seemed to slip away. There he was, lying down, half naked, and _completely_ vulnerable. He had to look _so_ fucking disgusting, _so_ fucking sick. Something or someone in his head started to laugh. Sweat started to run over his forehead as he turned his head away. '_Shit_ it's coming back', he was losing control again.

"Sands are you okay?" She asked slightly worried.

"Uh huh." He muttered back trying to shut the voice out. "Hurry up, get it done."

"Okay." She sat down besides him. He could just barely stop himself from recoiling. Very gently she touched his chin and pushed it a little to the right. Her fingers slide over his jaw up to his cheekbone.

"Does it hurt?"

"No...I can't feel anything." He voice started to get weak. "That _can't_ be good, can it?"

"It's okay, that's normal with scars. Sometimes there very sensitive or numb. Sometimes, the weather can effect it. Or well, at least that's what they said on ER." She finished a bit embarrassed, and he smiled a little bit.

"You shouldn't watch so much tv yaknow. It's so fucking full of bullshit. With the nice happy endings and romantic shit, it's so  
fucking fake. In real life there is _never_ a happily ever after." He said and was a bit perplexed as she started to giggle.

"Yeah, it's full of fake shit. But that doesn't mean that everything is." She replied.

He glared at her slightly." Do you really believe that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. I believe in finding true love." Her voice went up with the words 'true love'. "I think that one day I'll find someone that really, _really_ loves me and he will ask me to marry him. And of course I will say yes and then we will get a big house, with two cars, a dog, and two kids."

His eyebrows rose at this confession. "Are you trying to make me hurl? If so, you doing a hell of a job." Again she started to giggle, like only girls can do.

"_What_! Is it so bad that I have future plans!"

"No, but they are so... so… freaking girly." He really didn't know how to put it. " I mean, do you _really_ think a guy thinks like that when he sees a girl?" He sat u and started to smirk. "The first things a guy thinks of are, does she look nice, does she wanna have sex and will she nag about you not calling her back afterwards. That's how guys think. Most guys don't even have the word commitment in their vocabulary." He explained and then was playfully pushed by her.

"Not all guy's think like that!" That made him grin.

"What? I'm a guy!_ I_ think like that! So I think that my opinion is more accurate!"

"Okay… maybe there _are_ guys like you. But I'm a good girl. I don't hang out at the places that have those kind of guys around." She replied watching him bring a hand through his sticky hair.

"No offense, luv, but you're _living_ with one."

"That's different." She said moodily. "But, if you think _my_ plans are so lame mister 'I'll-make-fun-of-her-dreams', what's _your_ plan. If it isn't love, luck and family, what is it?"

"What do _you_ think? Keep the balance, get rich quick, kill the bastards who thought they could stop me and then continue livin' la vida loca."

"Right…" it sounded sarcastic. "What a _great _plan…" She voiced, shoving a knife into Sands ego.

"Like your plan was any better. Marrying Ken and living in a pink house contaminated by hordes of fluffy bunnies. Sounds great really, but I think I will pass."

"I didn't say that! Now, hush I need to put some salve around your eye sockets and I need to focus."

"Whatever." He kept his mouth. He tensed waiting for her touch. He heard the clinking of jars and other item.

"This will feel cold and it will burn little, but that's all."

Coldness touched his skin while he tried not to move. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath. It was strange having someone touch him there. Even _he_ was afraid to feel what was there...or _wasn't_ for that matter. But it was more frightening trusting someone else to touch it.

It made him think, _did_ he trust the girl? He knew he trusted her fear and he knew his own ability to manipulate her, okay maybe not manipulate, order her around.

But did he trust her? It may sound stupid to someone normal. Someone normal would have trusted her long before now. She had never hurt him or lied to him, anyone _normal_ would trust her.

But still… it wasn't enough. He had walked this path so _many_ times and in the end they always left him, hurt him, or betrayed him. He'd had enough of that shit. He would _never_ let anyone make him feel that weak again.

So maybe he liked her, a bit. But he _wouldn't_ trust her completely. She just knew to much. There was always the chance that she would turn on him. _Everyone_ has their price, and if he let his guard down someone would find hers.

"That's it, all done." She cheered. "You can put your glasses back on." She informed watching him nod slowly as he picked up his glasses. But before he put them on he stopped.

"Can I asked you something?" He asked softly, still holding the  
glasses.

"Sure."

"Does…" He paused and felt his cheeks started to turn red. 'What the_ fuck_ is this! I'm Sheldon Jeffery Sands, the notorious smooth talker. Don't act so fucking weak!' "Does… it look bad?" He pointed at his lack of eyes. He heard her come closer.

"No. I doesn't look bad. There isn't any blood and it didn't scar that much. Only a little on the sides." She continued. "I wasn't lying when I told you that the guy and the _bitch_ in the bar were talking shit. You _don't_ look like a freak, just _different_."

He nodded and putted the glasses on. Good thing she didn't know how good those words had made him feel. He listened closely, the voice was gone again. Good, great, _fucking_ brilliant! He heard her stand up and walk to the kitchen, if he thought clear.

"Want something to eat?" She asked.

"Sure why not." He replied, and he heard her smile.

"What, no 'thank you for making me dinner'?"

"Well, you don't cook very good…"

"WHAT!" She yelled from the kitchen. "How dare you insult my culinary abilities!" She continued as a grin slid onto his face.

"What? It's the truth! You _can't _cook." He heard her mumble some curses.

"Like you can!" She finally snapped back.

"Of _course_ I can cook." He replied. "Cooking is like fucking, you have to do it the rest of your life so you better know how."

"That all great and dandy, but I'm still not impressed. Show me." She challenged watching him sit up.

"What? The cooking or the fucking?" He smiled.

"Ha. _Ha_, you're killing me." She walked up to him and took hold of his got loose.

"Are you stupid? I _can't_, anymore. I can't even see if I am using pepper or salt. I _can't_ cook anymore!" He glared at her. "Think something through for once!" He growled and she once again sighed...that was _really_ starting to bug him.

"So? That doesn't means you can't help me." Again she tried to pull him up. "C'mon, I need your help. Unless you want to eat my terrible food again."

"Well when you put it _that_ way...I'm in." And he quickly stood up, what almost made her fall over. He heard her curse and grinned. "Oh, Lizzy-O you still have _so_ much to learn."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

'GUNSHOTS!'

El immediately jumped up and grabbed his gun from under the pillow. He listened. Three shoots where fired. He tensed, they sounded like they were close by. Probably in the back of the house. He jumped out of bed and as silently as he could he ran into the living room. Quickly he scanned the room. The kitchen was a mess, plates where broken, food was everywhere and the water was still running.

El turned around and looked at the sofa. Sands was gone. And where was the girl? Again a gun fired from outside. This time he heard a high scream. No doubt, from Lizz. He ran into the kitchen, kicked open the door and aimed his gun.

Two people turned at him. Surprised El lowered his gun and frowned. He saw Lizz standing next to Sands who was holding a smoking gun. This made El bring up his gun again.

"What are you doing!" He spat at Sands.

"What do you think_ fuckmook_, I'm shooting!" The man snapped back.

"_Why_, there is no one around." El said, looking around again, just to be sure.Sands started to curse and lit a cigarette.

"You tell the idiot." He said, after he inhaled, to Lizz. "I don't want to lower myself to that imbeciles comprehension level." Sands spat receiving a glare from El. El looked to Lizz, who bit her lip.

"He's teaching me how to shoot." She pointed at the bottles on the fence of the veranda.

"And tell him you still suck at it." Sands mumbled, after switching the gun to safety. The girl rolled with here eyes and stuck out her tongue.

"Why is the kitchen a mess?" El asked, putting his gun in his belt after seeing Sands do the same.

"Well, we _were_ cooking.." She started.

"WE!" El asked surprised.

"Yes, _we_." She looked at Sands. "Well, he was telling me what to do, but I dropped a couple-" She got interrupted by Sands.

"A couple of things? You dropped half of it!"

"Hey!" She screamed mad. "_I'm_ telling the story!"

"Then tell it right."

"_Fine_!" She gave Sands a frustrated look and looked back at El. "Like _he_ said. I dropped half of the stuff, and he got mad. He started to scream like it was all _my_ fault."

"It was all _your_ fault!" Sands corrected.

"Whatever!" She sighed deeply. "Then he grabbed everything out of my hands, but because the floor was full of broken eggs, he slipped and broke the plates."

"Not my fault." Sands pointed at Lizz. "Hers."

"Anyway... He got pissed, pulled out his gun and started to scream about shooting the house to pieces. Then I remembered that I still needed to learn how to shoot. So I asked him...after he cooled down." She finished and looked at El. He was frowning at her slightly, and then when his gaze shifted to Sands the frown intensified.

"You're teaching a young girl how to _shoot_?" El asked, Sands nodded.

"Yup."

"Are you _crazy_? What kind of _bastard _teaches and innocent girl how to kill someone. And how can you teach her to shoot anyways, you're blind." El replied raising his voice an octave. Sands only shook his head.

"Tut, Tut...Well 'The', first of all, I am _not_ teaching her to kill someone. I am teacher her how to use a gun. How to aim for instance." He glared at her. "Second," He pulled out his gun and fired one shot almost hitting El's foot, causing the mariachi to jump into the air. "I may be _blind_, but I'm _not_ brain dead. I can still shoot a gun." He grinned. "Like I said, _never _underestimate your enemy." He finished in a low tone.

After he finished Lizz frowned and kicked him lightly in the shin.

"Don't act so mean! Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not nice to threaten people?"

"What do you care! And don't _fucking_ kick me!" Sands snapped back. El rolled his eyes.

"I'm going back in, try not to kill each other."

Slowly, looking over his shoulder, he walked back into the house. He closed the door and watched from inside. Sands was pointing the weapon at an empty bottle. He started to make hand gestures concerning the gun as he talked to the girl who was nodding slowly and watching as he switched off the safety, then giving it to her.

El's eyes narrowed "It's wrong." He said to himself. "It's not right to teach a _child_ how to handle a weapon." He turned around and walked to his room. He opened his closet and pushed some clothes aside, picking up his guitar.

"Amigo Viejo." He whispered softly. It was one of the few things he had left in his life. His guitar and his music. The guitar always brought up so many memories. So many happy thoughts. He carelessly stroked the neck of his guitar and closed the closet door.

El walked into the living room and sat down on the window seat so he had a good view of what was happening outside. He saw Sands standing behind the girl, holding her hands in front of her. She was holding the gun and trying to focus on the bottle. Sands said something to her and she rolled with her eyes. Finally she shot and missed the bottle, she wasn't even close. Sands let her hands go and started to curse. Then he made some wild gestures at the bottle and shouted some more. El looked back at the girl. She was smiling and mimicking Sands' wild gestures and expressions.

El chuckled as he watched the girl giggle at Sands' pissed off face. Sands snapped at her and pointed at the bottles. Looking moody, she focused on the bottles, shot, and surprisingly enough, hit one. Her eyes grew wide with happiness as she dropped the gun and started to jump up and down.

She turned around and started to scream as she pointed at the bottles. 'I hit one! I hit one!' El could make out after reading her lips. To his surprise she then hugged Sands. El frowned and watched the CIA agent, who clearly didn't know how to react. He smiled slightly and pushed her slowly away. The girl was still very happy and started to point at the bottles again.

El smiled and looked back at his guitar. She could be _very_ annoying, but could also be very sweet, he had to give her that. You could see by the way she noticed and enjoyed the small things that she loved life, and _that_ was a nice thing to see.

He thought back to Carolina. '_Que Quieres En La Vida_' She had asked him one night.

'_Libertad_'', he had answered. _Freedom_, one of the most important things in life. Maybe the most important one, after love.

He started to play a couple notes on his guitar. Then he played a simple song. It had been a long time since he had picked up his guitar. Which was strange considering it was one of the few things that he enjoyed doing. Well, he had been a little bit busy lately, and of course living with Sands was not the ideal atmosphere for participating in leisurely activities.

**I thought it would be a nice thing to give the three a couple of day's some rest. A small vacation. A little time out of shooting and killing**. **Then I thought, they would rather have to kill a whole army of Cartels then to live with each other, what made the vacation idea even better…**

**Please do, for the love of god, review! Doesn't that sounds nice and pathetic:P **

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	24. Going into town

**It must be a curse, again, a horrible title! (Smacks herself in the face) **

**And sorry it took some time to writhe this, but I started a new Dutch story and I got a little writher's block in this chap. That and my beta got sick. Hope you feel little better!**

**Many thanks for the beta Me-Loves-Orli and Sands Agent. **

**Chapter 24) Going into town. **

Lizz sat bored on the sofa switching channels while eating chips. It was around 8 PM and the tension was high in the house. There had been a slight miscommunication about who owned the house and the car. It started with a small discussion when Sands claimed that someone had moved the chair, after almost falling over it. Of course he blamed El right after that.

'That wasn't a _very_ smart move', Lizz thought. El was still mad about him teaching a child to shoot. El started to yell it was his house and of course Sands couldn't keep his snappy mouth shut. After a few minutes the car got dragged into it. And wasn't it for Lizz one had shoot the other.

'Yes, a very _healthy_ environment for a girl,' she thought, eating another hand full of chips. She switched a couple of channels and found a nice and cosy talk show about a couple how wanted to get a divorce. 'That's more like it', she smirked when the wife slapped the man in the face for cheating on her. "You go girl! Show that sneaky rat what the word girl-power means!"

"Owh, look the feminist is talking." Sands walked in. He didn't look that chatty, muttered something probably about El and sat down on the sofa. Lizz pulled her feet up just in time.

"_Hey_!" She yelled. "Watch where you park your ass! You almost crushed my feet!"

"Fuck you." Was the simple answer.

Lizz made a face at him. "Jeez! Don't get mad on me 'cause you had a fight with El! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Fuck you, Lizzy-O." He replied. "Now gimmy the remote."

"NO! I'm watching this!" In reflex Lizz snatched the remote, holding it like her life depended on it.

"I don't care!" Sands said. He grabbed her by the arm and tried to claim the remote. But Lizz fought back. She hadn't watched TV since forever and there was no way she would let some psychopathic jerk take that holy thing away.

"Little bitch." Sands cursed when she pulled loose. She started to laugh and pushed the volume button.

Sands pointed at her. "_Don't_ mock me, girly. Now, give the fucking thing!"

"Make me!" She baited, sounding very immature.

Sands' eyebrows went up. "That was a stupid thing to say." Before she knew it, he ducked at her and they both were lying on the floor. Lizz screamed in surprise and amusement. "Get off of me, idiot!" She giggled.

"Not before you give me the remote!" He said, trying to sound threatening.

"NO! I will never give you the remote! He's mine!" She tried to push him off but he was much stronger.

"Don't make a fuss girly, just hand me the remote and no-one gets hurt." Sand said, smirking.

She started to struggle. "No, he's mine! My precious, I won't hand him to you, mean man!" She giggled and threw the remote in the air. Immediately Sands catch the thing out of the air. "You're as lousy with throwing as shooting, Lizzy-O." He stood up and sat down on the sofa. Lizz followed only a lot sulkier. She looked at Sands, who was very pleased with himself.

"Don't look so happy, you're just lucky." She snapped.

He glared at her. "_Lucky_? Sweetheart I was totally aware of your actions." He pointed at himself. "CIA agent, remember? We get trained for things like that."

"Things like what?" She immediately asked.

He smirked. "I'm afraid I have to kill you if I tell you that."

"You like the whole threatening part a little _too_ much." She rolled with her eyes. "I'm out." She stood up intestinally kicking Sands' knee. The agent didn't replied and a little disappointed Lizz walked to the kitchen where El sat playing guitar. Lizz looked interested and sat down in front of him. "Wow, I didn't know you could play."

El glared at her. "My name is El _Mariachi,_ what did you expect?"

'Why are all the guys in this house twenty-four hours a day pissed or incredibly moody?' She thought wile watching El play the guitar. He was really good, the best Mariachi she had heard. Of course that wasn't much because he was the first she ever heard but let's not spoil the moment.

"Who taught you that?" She asked after he finished a song.

"My dad, he was a mariachi too, just like his father." He said playing another song.

"He must have been very good." She said soft.

"Yes, he was." El replied.

"Excuse me for ruining this touchy moment." Sands said sarcastic, walking in. "But where is the beer."

Lizz glared at him. "There isn't any."

Sands stopped walking, letting his hands slide over the wall. "In that case, where is the tequila or whisky, or any other drink I'm not picky."

"Like I _said_," Lizz said after a frustrated sigh. "There isn't any, so go back to your Baywatch."

His mouth dropped. "I was watching Baywatch!" He sat down, after finding the kitchen table. "_Fuck_, I thought there was some terrible bloodbath with a surfer and a shark." He pulled out his cigarettes. "This sucks. No alcohol, nothing good on TV." He lighted a cigarette.

"Don't smoke in here." El immediately snapped.

"Or _what_?" Sands asked, blowing the smoke in El's face. Lizz saw how hard it was for El not to strangle him right this second. And she couldn't blame him.

"Sands, knock it of wouldya?" She pleated. "Please try to act like a normal person for once."

He grinned. "If you say so." And with a huge smirk he pressed the cigarette out on the middle of the kitchen table. Then he threw the cigarette into a corner and looked back at El. "To bad there isn't any _wife_ around to clean up the mess."

El's eyes shot full of rage. With one hand he grabbed Sands blouse and dragged him over the table.

"_What _did you say!" He spat in the agent face. Not impressed the man looked back.

"What, do I stutter?" Sands voice was challenging. "I said, 'to bad there isn't a _wife_ around to clean up the mess'." His voice went low, almost unhearing. "You know, the one you lost-"

El's eyes shot fire. Before he knew it, he hit Sands right on the jaw. Sands' head snapped to the other side and he hissed in pain.

"This time you went too far!" He grabbed Sands firm by the neck and dragged him to the kitchen door and opened. "Never even _dare_ to talk about my Carolina, you _blind_ rat!" He whispered dangerously. "Never!" Then he threw the man out.

Sands landed on the ground, spit out some blood and looked back. "Or _what_? You think you can hurt me? You thing that beating me _hurts_!" He pointed at the glasses. "You don't even _know_ what pain is, fucker."

El looked disgusted at the dark glasses, knowing what was behind them.

Lizz looked from man to man. One on the ground, one standing tall. Both looked silent at the other. Both full of hatred. She was almost scared to breathe, the tension in the room was so high. After a few second she bravely stood up. "I think it's a nice idea for Sands and me to go out for a couple of hours." She managed to say without stuttering or skipping a tone.

El looked at her, his eyes softened and he looked a bit worried. "I don't think that's a good idea. You will be unarmed and very vulnerable."

"I'll be fine." She reassured. "And if someone shows up, Sands can blow there heads off."

Sands stood up. "Sounds good to me and I'm almost out of cigarettes"

El glared at him. "Still I think it's a bad idea."

"Owh, come on!" Lizz begged. "Think about it, a couple of hours Sands-less, doesn't that sound tempting?"

That idea seemed to have effect on El. He thought for a moment. "Okay, you can go. But be back before sunset and if you even think you're being followed or someone is spying on you, come back immediately."

"Of course, of course!" She ensured El.

"Good," he sighted. "And tell him." Pointing at Sands. "That if he ever even mentions my wife or daughter I'll make another hole in his head."

Lizz nodded quickly and walked to the car. Sands was there already, smoking.

"Stupid _ass_!" She screamed. "Why did you do that! Talking about his wife!"

He looked up, "_What_? I never said anything about his dear wife." Smirking he continued. "I just said it would be nice to have a wife around to clean up the mess."

Lizz stood right before him and was furious. "You know _exactly_ what I mean! Don't think I didn't hear you! How dare you use the grief for his wife against him! You mean… manipulating bastard!"

"Owh, hush girly." Sands opened the car door and sat down.

Lizz follow his sample and sat down behind the wheel. "_No_, I won't hush! How would you feel if El started to mock your mother!" She saw him tens a little and knew she had hit the right spot. "Think about that, Sands."

He looked throw the window, like he tried to see what was out here. "Fuck you, that's not the same."

"Why not? You loved your mom and El loved Carolina. See the resembles?"

He gave her a long cold look. "You don't have a _fucking_ clue what you're talking about." His face darkened. "His life got fucked up when he was a grown man. My life got fucked up before it even started. And he didn't need his wife to protect him from an evil bastard."

A shiver went throw her body as she thought back of what Sands had told her about his dad. She nodded needles. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Well, that makes everything dandy, doesn't it?" He sneered. "Who cares about their eyes being ripped out, their fucked up life, being a fucking roomy with there number one enemy as long as you're sorry!"

He inhaled for the last time and threw the cigarette out of the window.

It was just then, that Lizz realised how bad the whole situation must be for Sands. He had to spend his day with the man who partly was the rezone he lost his eyes. And that man had beat him, like his dad used to do. In his way he tried to make El go away by threatening him and hurting him mentally because he knew he couldn't beat El in a fight. And on top of that she started to whine about it, bringing up memories of his mom.

'Memo, for yourself, you're an idiot.' Lizz didn't know what to say. Therefore she started the car, turned it and drove to the road.

"So is there anyplace you want to go?" Lizz asked after a couple of minutes in horrible silence.

Sands sat next to her, feet on the dashboard looking extremely bored. "I don't give a shit." He said, placing his armed behind his head and leaning backwards.

'Nice he always knows how to pick up a conversation,' she thought sarcastic. 'Well, if he doesn't want to talk, that's fine with me.' She glared at him. 'Stupid ass…'

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Finally, after half an hour Lizz pulled over and parked the car. Sands had seemed to be asleep, but was fully awake now.

"Where are we?" He said a little hasty, looking, or rather trying to hear what was going on.

"We're in the centre of the city, if you can call it that." She turned the car keys and places them in her pocket. "It's not much, couple of shops, bars and stands. Owh, and a big statue of some rich old prick in the middle surrounded by fountains."

"I didn't _ask_ for the grant tour, girly." He spat, looking pretty angry. "What the _fuck_ were you thinking! You drove me to the middle of some fucked up city! Do I _look_ like I want an excursion! I'm not a fucking tourist!"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be a baby, I asked you where you wanted to go and you didn't have any place particular in mind, so I picked a place to go to." She jumped out of the car and a couple of people gave her an odd look. It wasn't usual that little girls like her drove big army trucks.

Lizz heard Sands mutter something not so pleasant but he also stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut to make clear how much he was _enjoying_ the trip.

Lizz didn't say anything but stuck out her tong at him. "C'mon, Mr. Sunshine, let's go!" She grabbed his hand.

He immediately torn loose, like he got bitten by a snake. "Don't _fucking _hold my hand. It fucking looks like we're_ dating_!"

"Owh, you prefer to smack your head against a wall?" She asked, watching him closely.

"Yes, in fact, I do. Everything is better then people thinking I _might_ even _consider_ dating a naïve, stupid, talk-to-much, little brat!" He spat at her.

"Always so nice to hear those beautiful complements of you." Without getting pissed by his insults, she grabbed his wrist. "Come let's go!"

Sands glared at her, but didn't argue about the whole holding-thing anymore. A very smart idea of him, Lizz thought, she would defiantly have kicked him if he started to nag about it.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

They walked through the streets, the girly talking about the beautiful houses, the fat tourist and the cheap clothes they sold in the shops. The girl really didn't _get_ that he wasn't interested in any of those things. But he didn't want to make her upset because… she still was his eyes, nothing more, but he needed her. So he nodded sometimes or mumbled something so the girl would think he was listening to her endless talking.

Suddenly she stopped walking. He tensed and tried to hear what was going on. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just have to buy… some stuff."

"What stuff?" He asked directly.

"Girl stuff." She answered.

"I ask you again, what stuff?" He said this time a little annoyed.

She sighted. "_Fine_, if you want to know it that badly... Maybe you remember this from biology. Once a month a girl starts to eat very much chocolate, listen to crappie music, gets very pissed of about the smallest things and cries all the time. Or at leased that's my example. Around that time she needs to go to the store to buy tampo-"

"_Alright_ I get it!" He jerked his wrist loose. "Get your fucking stuff."

"What? you're staying here?" She asked surprised.

"What do you _think_! That I let you lead me through a story, holding me like a fucking dog, while buying your freaking girl stuff. No, I stay here, sugarbutt." He felt around and found a wall. "I'll stay right here, you hurry, buy your stuff."

"Whatever." She said, right after that he heard her walk into the store. There he stood, right in the middle of some city, right in the big open. If anyone was spying on them they could kill him right now, and he wouldn't even see it coming.

"Isn't this just _peachy_?" He told himself. A very soft laugh echoed through his head. "Stay away, fuckmook, don't come back!" He whispered.

"_Owh, look it's talking back again!" _The voice sneered.

"Go away! NOW! I do not need you around, I never did!"

"_That's to bad, Shelly, 'cause I'm not going. And don't think you can drug me away. I'll never leave you, Shel, I am you, just like the other two voices are. They both will be back soon, Shel, and if that time comes, I'll be sitting on the front row, laugh my ass off!" _

"No, no! You can't do that!" Panic started to get to him. "They can't come back!" He suddenly felt very cold and a shiver went through his body. His breath started too quicken, he let his head rest against the wall. "_Please_, don't let them come back."

Again a laugh echoed through his head, but this time it was much lower and way more terrifying. "NO! Not you!" He whispered, though gritted teeth. Slowly he let himself slid down the wall. "No, you can't!" He buried his head in his knees.

"_See, dear Shelly, your daddy is looking for you. Soon he will find you again, just like the old days, Shelly. You and me both in the dark, you scared to death and me making funny comment…" _

He felt his hands shake. Where were the pills? Where was Lizz? She had to come back! Now, right _now_! He heard the hollow laugh again, this time louder. Pain shot through his head, he jerked his head back and slammed against the wall. He cried out after another shot of pain.

People started to notice him and stopped to look what was going on. He heard them mumble about his behaviour. Someone made a joke, but he was to far gone in his mind to snap at the man, or even hear it. He bit his lower lip so hard it started to bleed, but it was nothing compared to the sharp pain, slicing through his head.

'This is _too much_!' He breathed heavily and shook his head, trying to make the pain disappear. He listened closely and started to come aware of the people staring at him. People who were making jokes about him, feeling pity for him. Maybe even thinking about hurting him. He had to make them leave, make them go away, to restore the balance in his head.

With a shaking hand he brushed over his gun, his safety. Suddenly he pulled back. He hearted a jingling sound. The bracelet, he knew immediate from who it was. "Lizz?" He whispered. The jingling sounds came closer. "Lizzy? Come here! Lizzy-O?"

"Move it, ass, I'm trying to get through!" He heard her snap at a guy. Her quick footsteps hurried closer.

"Sands? What happened?" Her voice was frustrated. "Is it so _fucking_ hard to wait a few minutes?" She stopped breathing for a moment. "Sands, what's wrong, why is you're lip bleeding?' All the frustration in her voice was gone and replaced by worry.

She touched his shoulder. "Sands, you're shaking, please tell me what's wrong!" Christ, now she sounded like she was about to cry. Slowly he looked up.

"It came back, Lizzy, he's coming back and he tries… he's hurting me." Again, he felt so vulnerable and naked. But right now he didn't care. "Please, make it go away, Lizzy."

Suddenly he felt her arms around his neck. Her head rested on his shoulder. "It's okay Sands, I'll make it go away." She whispered in his ear.

Slowly she let him go and stood up. She turned around to face the people who where staring at her and Sands. Her eyes narrowed. "Move it, show's over! Everybody fuck off! Go back to your boring lives!" She made a gesture and slowly the people started to move and walk away.

She rolled her eyes. "Some people…" She whispered sighing.

**Yes mission completed! I let her hug Sands twice and he didn't kill her yet! (starts to do a very lame dance). **

**Pleas please pleas, review! **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	25. Lost something?

**Chapter 25) Lost something? **

The girl amazingly got him up and supported him to a bench in the shadow. He moaned when his head made contact with the rail and the whole world around him was spinning. 'Very strange', he thought, 'I can't even _see_ it spinning.' He rubbed his head. 'But it fucking hell is!'

"_Shelly's getting psycho…" _It sounded cheerful and happy in his head.

"Shut your fucking mouth." He snapped furious. "I swear, _one word_ and I'll shoot you!"

"_Owh, sure, and how exactly were you planning on doing that!" _It said scornful.

"That's it you little piece of shit!" He sat up and pulled his gun out. "I'm fucking gonna kill you!" He switched his gun from safety and pushed it against his temple. "Any last requests, fucker?"

"_Owh, Shel, big bluff!" _ It started to laugh. "_There is now way you're going to shoot me!" _

"Watch me!" He spat. His index finger touched the trigger, ready to shoot.

"SANDS!" Someone yelled furious.

"WHAT!" He yelled back. His gun got snatched out of his hand. He gritted his teeth and tried to hit the one who stole it. In reward he got a kick against his knee.

"Cut that out, idiot!" A sigh. "You're just unbelievably, I leave you alone for _one _freaking minute to get some water and you're trying to kill yourself again!"

It took him a second to figure out who was talking to him. Then he heard the jingling sound of a bracelet. 'Fuck, that girly again. Why is she always mothering me!' He felt her sit down next to him.

"Here, water." She pushed a bottle in his hand. "And the pills." She places three pills in his other hand.

"_Looky, looky there is the drug again, junky!" _

"Shut up!" He whispered. Trying to hold his temper down.

"_Hey_, are ye gonna take the pills, or what?" She nagged from next to him.

He cursed under his breath. Didn't she get it! If he would take the pills now, he would take them the next time, and the next time until he couldn't live without them anymore. And he didn't want that. He didn't want to end up like the bad evil man, drinking every second he was awake and going nuts if he couldn't.

"_Good boy Shel! Don't take the pills. Don't take them! Don't end up like your daddy! Don't listen to the girly!"_

"Sands?" She said worried. "_Please_ take the pills."

Slowly he shook his head. "No, I _won't_."

"Why not, Sands?" She asked soft.

"Because I _don't_ need them. I'm stronger than this shit." He pointed at his head. "I'm not a weak junky, I don't _need_ drugs to keep the balance."

It was silent for a moment. "Well, a minute ago you almost blow your head off." She swallowed. "So maybe it's a good idea you take the pills."

"No, I won't." he whispered. "Don't you see it? If I take them now, I lose. And I always play to win. I'm not weak!"

"That's true." She agreed. "But think about it this way. You're still hurt, physical and mental. You need to get better to fight again. I think it's smart to take the pills now, so you can get better and win.

It sounded very logical, he had to agree. Slowly he nodded and opened the bottle of water. He took the pills and drunk some of the water. "Now give me my gun back. I don't think this town is ready to see you shoot."

She giggled and handed him his gun back. He felt relieve when the cold metal was back between his belt, he smirked. "So, where we going now?"

"Let's go to a bar or something, it's still early, around three."

"That's fine by me." He stood up a little shaky, but tried to look as strong as possible.

She grabbed his wrist. "C'mon macho let's get something to drink."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They had only walked through a couple of streets, when Sands started to feel dizzy again. He stopped for a moment and supported against a wall. He took a deep breath. "How _fucking_ far is that bar!" He snapped.

"Just one street. You're okay?"

"Fucking great." He said, wiping the sweat of his forehead. He pushed himself up again. "Walk." He demanded. She thank god didn't argue about him being so mean and dragged him forward.

After a few minutes of horrible pain and suffering she stopped walking again. "We're here. In front of a bar called, _Chiquita_, it's small, with a couple of little tables, it's not busy and it's cool inside.

Sands simple nodded. "Walk to a table in the corner."

"Okay." She walked him to a table, placed his hand on a chair and he sat down. He sighed in relieve and relaxed a bit. He heard her sit down across him. He pulled out his cigarettes and lighted one. "Did you get my cigarettes?" he asked after inhaling deeply.

"Jup. I also got bubblegum, a very nice pair of earrings, mascara, lip-gloss and other girl stuff." She cheered, handing him the pack of cigarettes.

He smiled putting the cigarettes in his pocket. Then he frowned. "Wait a second, how did you buy that stuff? You are almost out of money."

"Who said anything about _buying_?" She smiled. "I stole the stuff!" She said proudly. "It wasn't even that hard. I just had to wait 'till nobody was around and slide it in my pockets."

Sands cursed himself. 'Very sweet, turning a little girl into a kleptomaniac…' "Listen luv…" O _god_, don't let me sound like a fucking dad. "It isn't very smart to steal so much, savvy?"

"Why not? You told me yourself, you did it all the time and never got caught."

'Skip kleptomaniac, she's started to act like _me_! That's just swell...' He inhaled again. 'Okay, how the fuck am I gonna teach her this?' "Listen, it ain't good to steal. Especially if you're a little girl. And you can get in very big trouble."

"So? Then you can threat and shoot a little and everything is okay again."

Owh Christ, why does she have to be so fucking innocent! Why did she kept on thinking he was her shining knight in armour? Why did she think he _would _save her? And why did he felt guilty, because he _couldn't_ do that. "Listen, girly. I won't be around for ever, you know? So you better stop fucking around and start acting like a normal person."

"Why would you go away?" She asked sad. "Don't you like me anymore? Did I do something wrong?"

Fuck, why couldn't she just be some fucked up ass he needed to manipulate? Why did she had to be a little girl whom pictured him as a hero! Why was she so crazy to think he was a good person! He had an incredibly urge to shoot her, so he wouldn't have to think about those things again.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong and…" _Fuck_, what about the 'liking' part? He didn't like her... much. Fucking Christ… He didn't hate her, of course she did some stuff he would have shot her for, but than again he also did some nasty stuff to her… But liking her… Wait a fucking sec! She said, 'don't you like me anymore.' So she thought he _had_ liked her. Why would she think something like that! He never gave her any sign he liked her. What the fuck was her problem! Well, let's skip the 'liking problem'.

"I mean, I'm not gonna hang around for ever. I have tons of things to do with the CIA and so many people to kill." He smirked, yeah that came out right.

"_Shell, cut the crap out! You know as good as I do the CIA left you to die and people killing won't be in the picture either. You can't even see the person." _The voice started to laugh. _"Your future will be a stick and a K9, Shelly!" _

Sands cursed at the voice. So yeah, it was one big lie, but he had to tell the girly something! He couldn't stay with her forever, she would get killed by some fucker who wanted him dead. Or in the worst case he would get so crazy he would shoot her himself.

"When are you going to leave then!" Fuck, now she sounded upset.

"Dunno." He said cold.

"And what the _hell_ is that suppose to mean?" She yelled mad. "You're really mean you know! First you teach me how to steal, now you tell me I can't do that anymore! And then you tell me you don't want to hang around with me anymore! Jerk!" After her beautiful speech she started to sob.

Sands could hear people turning around and mumble about him and the girly.

"_It's surprisingly Shel, how you always know what to say in every situation." _The voice said sarcastic.

He ignored the voice. He looked in her direction. 'Owh fuck, fucking fucked up fuck! What am I going to say now?' He took a second to think. He had to come up with an excuse.

"Girly, listen." He started. " It's not you, it's me."

"_Shel, that's the lamest excuse in the world!" _

'Indeed, very true,' he thought. 'But half of the time it works.' "Look, I'm that bad guy, remember? It's not good for a girl to hang around with guys like me. So after everything has turned out fine, I'll go. You stay with El, get your money and be very happy."

Lizz bit her lip. If she would start to argue now he would only get pissed off. And if he was pissed… well talking to a wall had more effect. "Okay… I'll get something to drink."

Sands nodded and heard her walk away. He spit on the floor. 'Well, I pretty much fucked that 'dad talk'.

"_Excuse me, but DUH! I mean, what kind of example did you had for a dad!"_

He had to agree with the voice. But still he had thought, no, hoped he would score a little bit better on the 'dad-thing' than his own daddy-O.

"_Why even bother Shel? It's not like you ever will be a dad… Well maybe you are, you screwed around enough in the good old days, but I don't think that you're kiddies want to know what kind of guy their daddy is." _

'Hey, if you have to be around, can you _at least_ shut up about my personal life!'

"_What, can't handle the truth Shelly?" _The voice started to sound very childish. _"Or are you just upset, about hurting the poor girly her feelings?" _ Now the voice was just very annoying.

'Fuck you, I don't _care_ about her, or her feelings! She means _nothing_ to me, only a _thing_ that sees for me.'

"_Sure…" _

Sands gritted his teeth. '_What_! When did I _ever_ give you the slightest idea I liked her!

"_Shelly likes the girl…" _The voice baited.

With a bang he slammed his fist on the table. "Shut up!" He hissed. "As soon as she comes back, I'll show you I don't like her! She's nothing to me, I _hate_ her. She's fucking annoying, way to naïve and even stupider than El!"

Before he knew it something liquid and very cold splashed over his face. He yelped in surprise and jumped up. His chair fell backwards and he pulled out his gun.

"Don't you even _think_ about it, jerk!" A very familiar, high, loud and furious voice yelled. A glass smashed to piece, not very far from his foot.

"Put that fucking gun out of my face stupid ass!" She continued, still very loud. "How can you say that! Stupid mean… JERK!" She took a pause to get some air. "If you hate me that's _fine_! But don't rub it in my face like that!" Her voice started to get shaky. "We're going home. You stay here, I got to say bye to someone."

Before he could say a thing she walked away again. His shoulders dropped and he put his gun back in his belt. He didn't even care about what the people in the bar would think of him. Slowly he picked up the chair and he sat down. He wiped the tequila out of his face and felt the liquid ran along his neck.

'Great, I have to look like an idiot right now,' he thought angry. 'Stupid kid, I wasn't even talking to her. I can't help it she overheard my talk.' He sighed.

"_Well, Shel, think of it this way. At least you convinced me that you don't give a shit about her. And because I am you, you also convinced yourself! Good job, Shelly!" _

"Fuck you!" He snapped. He licked his lips, tasting tequila. Damn, if he hadn't talked so loud he would have a glass of the tasty good. Maybe that was a good thing. This way he would be fully prepared for El, if that fuckmook would try anything. He tensed when he thought of El. The idea of getting back to that man made him shiver. He didn't like it, but he had to admit he was afraid of the man, now he couldn't see him and he was still weak.

"_Yeah, Shelly you're weak! You took the pills! Idiot!"_

True, he was weak. Weak that he let her talk him into taking the pills. Technically it was her fault, not his. He smiled. Yeah, that was it, she did it. Speaking of the little brat, where did she go?

He sat still and tried to pick up sounds from the room. He heard two people walk around, probably waitresses. He heard one guy talking by the bar and heard Lizz talking too by the bar with some other guy. He couldn't hear there conversation very clear because he sat on the other side of the room, but he heard enough.

"You really have to go? Can't you stay a _little_ bit longer?" The guy next to her begged. Sands made a face. 'Fucking Christ, can you sound more pathetic!'

"No, sorry, I really have to go." She said back. "I promised to be back before sunset."

"To bad, I'm going to miss you." Romeo continued. "At lease finish your drink, Elizabeth."

The girl started to giggle and Sands bit his lip, for stopping a very snappy remark.

"Don't call me that, I sound like you're talking to an old granny." She said.

"It sounds royal, I think. You really can't stay any longer?"

'Fucking Christ, that guy is too pathetic to be real, this has got to stop!' Sands slammed on the table. "No, fuckmook she has to go! And if you wonna keep your goods, you fuck off and come up with some decent pick up lines!" The whole bar went silent.

"You're with _him_!" The guy asked his voice half filled with unbelief half with fear.

"To my misery, I am." She sighed. "I'm the unlucky girl who gets stuck with creatures like him."

"Cut the annoying comments, girly." Pissed Sands stood up and kicked his chair aside. He walked up to the spot he figured the guy stood. "_YOU_!" He waited for some kind of sign to tell him where exactly the guy was. Thank god the idiot stood up from the bar and gave him time to focus on his exact position. "_You_," He continued, now pointing at the guy. "If you don't get the_ fuck_ out of here right now, I'll shoot your sick little pussy ass from under you, can you dig it?"

It took exactly two seconds for the guy to get the subtitle hint and run out of the bar. Sands smirked, he still had that threatening attitude. Good! Still his old self! Very proud he turned around, to get rewarded by a slap in the face.

"Fucking kid!" He yelled. Quick he swung around and grabbed her arm. Fast he pulled her close to him.

"Don't touch me!" She started to struggle. "Get your hands of off me!" She twisted her arm and started to scream. That made Sands let go. She fell backwards and landed on the dusty floor. With eyes full of rage she looked up, and saw Sands standing a little unease, probably embarrassed by her scream. Good that would show him!

"How dare you cut of my conversation like that!" She spit from the ground. "And how dare you scare Jorge away!"

"Owh, now _it_ has a name!" He made some wild gestures and mumbled something to himself. "That's fucking great! Why don't you take the fuckmook home!"

Quickly and not very elegant she stood up. "You know what I think! You're just _jealous_! 'Cause a very good-looking guy sees me, talks to me and buys me a drink."

His mouth dropped, but he recovered fast. "You think that guy likes you! Girl, you have so much to learn! Be glad I came between you and fuckwit, or he would screw you before you can say abortion."

Tears started to well up in her eyes. "Go to hell, Sands!"

"Already there, luv." He replied fast.

She bit her lip and forced herself to keep her mouth shut. On everything she said he would make a snappy come back.

He smirked at her. "That's it? No smart ass remark? I'm _very _disappointed in you."

She clenched her fist. "You know what, I've had it with you! I'm out!" She picked up her stuff and her jacket. And with one last glare she walked out the bar.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

'Bastard, stupid ignorant piece of _shit_!' She thought very mad. "_Finally_ I find a nice guy who talks to me, buys me a drink, throws a couple of compliment and _idiot_ ruins it all!" Very pissed she walked through the streets. After a couple of minutes she found the car. She smiled. "Good almost home."

She walked to the car and opened the door. Then she stopped. She rolled her eyes. "C'mon Lizz, don't even _think_ about feeling guilty for leaving big ass at the bar."

With one foot she stepped in the car then stopped. "Jeez! Lizz don't be so sweet!" She told herself. "Every time you go back for that guy he hurts you." She stepped in the car. "Good girl, see that wasn't too hard?"

She sighed and looked into the mirror. "I wonder what he's doing right now." She bit her lip. "Maybe he got himself killed in that bar… But that's his own fault, not mine!"

She putted the radio on, immediately a Mexican reporter started to talk about the weather. 'Or maybe he's walking through the city, alone, in the dark, with the voices in his head… and a gun in his belt.' Lizz swallowed. "That can't go well." Immediately she picked up her jacket and started to look for the car keys. She frowned. "Where the hell are the keys?" She pulled out everything and placed it on the dashboard. Gum, snickers, lip-gloss and mascara started to fill the car, but there were no keys.

She cursed and felt in her other pockets, but again no keys. Suddenly she stopped. "Wait a second…" She looked around. "He wouldn't have?" Her eyes narrowed. "Guess his 'don't-steal-talk' was one big fake."

Very mad she opened the door and slammed it shut. "Great, I can see that cocky smile already…"

**Yeah, another long chap! I still don't know exactly where this story goes, but I at least know what next chap will bring! You wonna know what? Then review, it makes the writhing easier!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	26. Doped up

**Warning: Yeah, a warning again, nothing very shocking. Just lill' bit of drugs, that's all. Yeah, and we are talking about Sands, so cursing also implied, dhu…**

**Thanks to: Me-Loves-Orli for the fast beta, Luv ya, BLESS ya, hail to you! And course thanks to Sands-agent for the review!**

**Chapter 26) Doped up.**

Sands sat on the sidewalk, right in front of the bar. Very pleased with himself he smoked another cigarette and with his right hand he was playing with the cardkeys. He wondered how long it would take for her to find out he had the keys. He smirked. It would probably take her a day or two, _at least_.

He took another whiff of the cigarette. From fare away he heard the jingling of a bracelet and the quick steppes from the girly. He turned his head to her and waved at her with the car keys. "Look what I found."

She snatched the keys out of his hand as he chuckled. "Don't look so happy with yourself." She spat at him. Then he heard her walk away again.

He frowned. "Hey! Where are you going!"

"What do you think smartass! I'm going _home_!" She yelled back, still walking away.

Sands stood up in a hurry and almost tripped. "Wait a fucking second, you're forgetting me!"

"So? You were the one who wanted to leave. So go, be free little bird."

"Now _wait_ a sec here, girly!" He yelled at her. "You can't just leave me here in the middle of Mexico! Get your ass back here!"

Lizz turned around and saw the shocked look on his face. She smiled. 'Good, let him be shocked.' She placed her arms in her side. "And why can't I? You said you hated me. Why would I help _you_?"

"Because if you don't I'll shoot you, _right now_!" His voice was low and sounded dangerous.

Lizz rolled her eyes. "I know that one already Sands, please!" Without another word she continued walking. She heard him curse and she hid around the corner. Carefully she looked around the wall and grinned.

Sands stood in the middle of the footpath, with his gun in his hand and a very horrified gaze on his face. He clearly had no idea what he had to do with the situation. He reminded her again of the sad little puppy. She noticed how vulnerably he looked.

"Lizz?" He said soft. "Get the fuck over here, this isn't funny!" He turned his head from side to side, trying to pick up a sound of her. "Fucking little bitch!" He mumbled.

Normally she would have snapped at him, but this time she kept silent. She wanted to know what he was going to do now. He looked up and smacked himself in the face. "Shut the fuck up, annoying little piece of shit!" Lizz bit her lip. She had hoped the medication would have silent the voices by now. Or that he had stopped talking to them at least. She didn't like it, this wasn't good. She bit her lip again and continued her observation.

Slowly she saw him walk a bit, feeling around, trying not to bump against something. After a couple of steps he touched the wall. Wildly he shook his head. "No, _no_! You think you know things better, but you _don't_ fuckmook!" He stopped breathing for a second and sighted. "Good boy." He looked up and turned his head from side to side. Suddenly he looked up, right in her face and smiling he said: "Since when are you playing spy?"

Lizz's mouth dropped. "How did you know...? I was totally still!"

He smirked and took a couple of steps in her direction. "You are standing against the wind, girly."

She made a sulky face. "You mean I _stink_!"

"No, I wouldn't say it like that." Again he took a couple steps, still a little shaky. "You smell like that cheap vanilla shampoo of El's, very hard to miss."

"_Damn_!" She muttered. "And I finally thought I found a way to spy on you, thanks for ripping my moment."

He chuckled. "Well, keep trying. Not like you will ever succeed. But it will keep you busy and out of problems, little kleptomaniac."

She giggled. "Thanks for being so supportive, Sands." She grabbed his wrist. "C'mon let's try to find the car."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want out _dear_ caring El to worry his ass off or get a freaking heart attack from stress…"

Again she giggled and started walking. He followed and didn't even mind her guiding him like he was a little kid.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

After a couple of minutes they reached the car. Lizz smiled and picked the keys out of her pocket. She walked to the other side and places Sands hands on the car door. "We're at the car, you can step in."

"I'm not an _infant_, you know?" He spat at her. She rolled her eyes and made a shooting gesture at his head. She walked back to the driver's door and opened it. Suddenly she stopped, grabbed the car door and shook her head.

"What's the matter girly?" Sands asked when he noticed she hadn't stepped in yet.

"Nothing," She blinked her eyes and rubbed her head. "Just a little headache, must be the heat."

"Hurry up then." He said, putting his feet on the dashboard. "It's like a fucking sauna in here. Why didn't you park the car in the shadow, smartass?" After that he muttered something and Lizz wasn't sure it was to her or the voice.

But right now she didn't care, she didn't feel that well, she wanted to go home, lay down and sleep for a decade. She smacked the door shut and started the car. A small light spot started to appear in her sight. She blinked, took a breath and drove away into the dessert of Mexico.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

'Fucking great, I'm driving back to Idiotcity to have a sleepover with the mayor.' He gritted his teeth. 'No, fuck that, I get driven by a girly 'cause a fuckmook drilled my eyes out! Fucking peachy…' He sighed and lighted up a cigarette. To his surprise and little disappointment the girl didn't go loco and started a fuss about her getting lung cancer because of his smoking. He glared at her, took a deep whiff and blew the smoke at her direction.

To his happiness he felt the car slow down a bit. He smirked and inhaled again. 'C'mon girly, start the fight'.

"Sands…" She started.

"Yes…" He answered sounding a bit childish.

"I don't feel so good..."

He glared at her. "_What_! I just wonna smoke _one_ fucking cigarette and you immediately start to fuss about your health. Grow up brat." 'I'm an ass', he decided, 'but I'm just loving to piss her off'.

"No, that's not what I mean… I just, really don't feel good." She gasped and the car made a twist to the right. Sands, who off course wasn't wearing his seatbelt, got his head thrust against the door.

"_Christ_! What's the matter with you!" He yelled, rubbing his head and looking angrily in her direction. But she didn't seem to hear or even notice him. Suddenly the car stopped completely and she moaned.

There was something seriously going on. He stopped cursing about his head and tried to get a hint of what was going on.

"Hey, Lizzy, what's wrong?" He asked after a few second.

"I dunno…" She started to sob and Sands jerked backwards. "Everything is spinning, changing colours and the headache is getting worse." Now it was clear she was crying. "I'm gonna die!"

Sands swallowed after hearing her panic like that. She'd never sounded so scared before. He didn't like it, she wasn't supposed to freak out, that was his territory.

"C'mon luv, you're not going to die, don't talk shit." He hushed, trying to calm her down.

"Of course I am!" Her crying started to get more dramatic. "I can't see straight and I can't move my arms! I don't want to die!" Again she sobbed. "I'm gonna die!"

"No you're not, move over!" He snapped.

"What! You're gonna drive! I knew it, I'm gonna _die_, a slow painful _death_!"

Sands growled. "Thanks for the support, honey." He opened the car and stepped out. He reached in and dragged her to the OV seat. She didn't struggle and didn't say a thing. And that worried him, normally she would have slapped him or at leased spit some curses.

"You're okay?" He asked soft.

It took her some time to answer the question. "No… don't think so… you're starting to get pink…" She sighted. "It's not your colour."

He glared at her and checked her pulse. There was nothing wrong with her heartbeat. He frowned, what was wrong with her? He felt her forehead, no fever, but why was she trembling? "Wait a sec…" he shook her. "Lizz? You're still with me!"

"Half." She whispered.

"Good. Listen very good, that fuckwit, he bought you a drink, right?"

"Yes, we've been over this already Sands, can you please focus on the dying part!"

He gritted his teeth, the fuckmook, that piece of shit! "Lizz, did you leave your glass behind, with that ass?"

"Yes, when I was bringing you your drink, I left it at the bar, but I don't see your point Sands."

He did! The motherfucker! He clutched his fist. 'I knew there was something fucked up with that guy!' "Doesn't matter, girly." He closed the car door and walked, sliding his hand over the car to the other side. There he opened the door and sat down. It felt very strange to be back behind the wheel, defiantly now he couldn't see it. A little uneased he felt around for the keys. He found them and started the car. 'Okay, how in the name of god am I going to do this?'

He grabbed Lizz by her shoulder and shook her gently. "Lizzy?"

"Whatzz!" She mumbled back.

'Good she's still awake.' "Lizz, I need you to listen very carefully. _Don't _fall asleep! Stay awake! You understand?"

"Uhuh, guess." She said with a soft voice.

"Good girl. Here is the hard part. You have to help me drive the car. You have to tell me what way I have to go. Understand?"

"Uhuh." She answered again. "But I can't see clear."

"Doesn't matter, try to focus, we have to get to El's house."

'_God Shel, can you sound more pathetic!' _

'Not now, fucker, I'm in the middle of something important!' He pushed the gas panel and the car was driving. "Owh fuck, Lizz what way!"

"Little to the left, you're riding on the wrong side of the road." She whispered. He turned a little to the left. "Okay, good girl, now stay awake!" Nervously he pushed the gas a little more. "Am I going straight?" He heard his voice panic.

"How am I supposed to know, the whole way is spinning." She snapped. "A little to the right I guess. And slow down a bit, I can't focus."

He followed her first order but didn't slowdown. He knew that within half an hour she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes open anymore.

And he was right, the riding part when well. But after twenty minutes she stopped guiding him. He stopped the car, hoping it wasn't standing in the middle of the road. He looked at her direction and lifted her shin up. "Lizz, are you still with me? Lizzy-O?"

She shook her head a little. "Huh?"

'Shit, she was falling into sleep.' He frowned, 'now what!' "Lizz." Again he shook her head. "Can you see El's house? C'mon _focus_ girly."

She lifted her chin and looked around. "Yeah I can see his house. It's right there."

He cursed soft. "Girly, remember I can't _see._ Be a_ little_ more precisely."

" 'Bout hundred meters from here… Got to walk a little to the left…" Then her body relaxed.

"_Fuck_! Talking about deep shit!" His nails dig into the leather of the wheel. How am I supposed to get to the house? I can't see! I don't know if there are people with guns, fuck, I don't even know the time! He slammed on the wheel. "But I got to do something, she can't stay here in the car, she needs water, warmth and aspirins for the headache."

"_C'mon Shel, you hate her! Why do you care if she dies!" _

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off!" He yelled. He slammed the car door open and walked around. He opened her door and gently dragged her out. He placed his right arm under her knees and his left arm under her shoulders and lifted her up.

"This so fucking sucks!" He muttered. "Where the hell is the house!" He took a couple of steppes and fear already started to get to him. "I can't do this, if I get lost, I'm dead." He turned around, facing the car but didn't walk back. "But then she dies. Can't let that happened, she's my eyes."

He turned back. "C'mon Sands you can do this, you're CIA!" After taking a deep breath he started walking again. This whole scenario remembered him at the basement, the dark terrifying basement. The place where he was lost every single moment. Where he peed in his pants and got hurt by the bad evil man. The place where he was all alone, except for the voice that made fun of his weak cries for help. The place with no light, only darkness and pain.

His breathing was rasping and deep. He started to sweat of panic and shiver from the cold. But he kept walking and didn't look back.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Something very heavy smacked against the front door and made El jump up from his chair. Quick he placed his guitar next to him against the chair, pulled his gun out and hurried to the door. His eyes narrowed, switch his gun from safety and counted to three.

Then he kicked against the door and jumped onto the veranda. There his eyes grew wide. Before him stood Sands, panting and leaning heavily against the wall. The agent was also holding the girl and she had clearly passed out.

"What did you do to her, bastard!" He spat, pointing the gun at Sands.

"Christ! 'The' can you _shut up_, I'm fucking dying in pain here!" Sands muttered, still heavily panting. "Here, hold her, before I collapse." He pushed the girl in El's arms.

"God, that kid weights a ton!" Sands dropped on his knees. "Fucking hell." Then he rubbed his forehead. " Do you have any_ idea_ how _painful _it is to walk right into a fucking door!"

El looked from the slowly breathing girl to the panting agent. "What happened? Where is the car? And do you know what time it is!"

Sands gave him a nasty look. "No, almighty El, I _don't_, 'cause blind people can't _see_! And did you know how hard it is to tell the time if you can't _see_ your watch! And do you now how fucking difficult it is to drive a car when you can't _see _the road! And it's also pretty hard to find a house, when you can't _see_ a fucking thing!"

El frowned but didn't reply. "I'll get her inside." He said. He turned around and walked into the house. Gently he placed Lizz on the sofa and laid a blanket over her. She was still deep asleep and El wondered what happened to her. That made him walk back to the veranda and saw that Sands was still sitting on the floor, panting like a dog and ready to collapse any second.

"Get up." El said.

"What?" It was as if Sands had just woken up.

"I said, _get up_, you can't stay sitting here, if anyone sees you-"

"Yeah, I get it!" Sands interrupted him pissed. "Give me a moment." He crawled to the wall and tried to get up by supporting on it, but he horribly failed and didn't get further up then his knees.

El rolled his eyes. "Hurry up."

"Just a fucking minute, fuckmook." The man snapped.

"I don't have a minute." Before Sands could argue he was dragged in by his shoulder. The man yelled out and El wasn't sure it was from pain of anger. Wasn't like he cared. "_Move_." He demanded.

Sands didn't followed his order and was about to say something. But El didn't feel like a conversation right now. He pushed the man fort and Sands was forced to walk. To his surprise Sands started to walk, but bit his lip.

Inside he pushed Sands into the chair next to the sofa. "Now, tell me what happened to her." He demanded, sitting down across Sands.

Sands took a minute to find his voice back. "She got drugged by a fuckwit in the bar. I dunno the name of the drug exactly, but I know what it does to a person. Saw it happen couple of times. Guy can't get a girl, guy gets loco, guy buys drug finds a nice looking girl, gives her the drug and have his way with her. Afterwards she can't remember a damn thing, thinks it was the alcohol, because of the major headache." He sighted and wanted a smoke more then anything right now, well a nice bed would be pleasant to, his legs felt like they where falling off. "What she needs now is much water, sleep, warmth and darkness when she wakes up, 'cause she will have a hell of a headache."

El's eyes narrowed and he absorbed the man before him. "You know a little _too much_ about this drug thing."

Sands snapped out of his sleeping and smoking dream and raised an eyebrow. "What is that suppose to mean! For what kind of sick fucker do you take me?" He pointed at El. "I'm not that _low_. I don't need to drug a girl to fuck her. You may think of me as a murderous psycho, I don't give a fuck about that, but don't mark me a rapist. I'd never hurt a girl like that."

"But you _did_ hurt her." El said back. To his surprise Sands looked confused and shocked. But that disappeared quickly and got replaced by anger.

"And how could you know that, fuckmook!" He snapped, but still clearly confused.

"I'm not blind like you Sands, I saw her crying when I came back from shopping. And I'm sure you did other stuff to hurt her feelings." He took a moment to think. "I still don't get why she wants to be around you, I really _don't_"

Sands tensed and bowed his head. His hair fell in front of his face. "Well, she's stupid. A stupid little kid, to naïve to get that I'm fucked up." His head cocked up and he smiled evil. "I'm an uncaring bastard. I'm the scum of the earth, El, can you dig it?"

**Not a great ending, folks, but I have to see POTC tonight, or else I die! **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	27. El, meet the real Sands

**Thanks to: Sands-Agent for the beta and Me-Loves-Orli for the pep talk! **

**Chapter 27) El, meet the real Sands.**

Both man sat silently cross from each other. They both looked coldly at each other. They both were dead tired but they didn't want to go to sleep, knowing the other had a gun and wasn't afraid to use it. 

El blinked but didn't stop observing the man across him. Finally after almost a half hour he decided he needed a black cup of coffee. He was ready to stand up, then suddenly Sands' head snapped up. A little worried and surprised El remand sitting, didn't stop looking at Sands. He saw the man rub his face and heard him sigh. The agent was clearly exhausted and again El had to give him credit for his stubbornness.

Sands pulled out his packages of cigarettes, then stopped and glared at him. Slowly he pushed the packages back in his pocket and started to play with his lighter.

El rolled his eyes and stretched his arms. Again he blinked and fought the urge to sleep. He looked at the girl. She was still in a deep sleep and didn't move. Her breathing was slow but even. He wished he could go to sleep like that, not have to worry a psycho would kill him if he closed his eyes and not afraid of horrible nightmares from his past. It also would be nice if he didn't dream of his Carolina lying on the dusty ground, slowly bleeding to death.

"So El, what does she look like?"

El flicked his eyes open and got out his trance. Slowly he saw Sands, looking questioningly at him. "_What_?" He stumbled.

Sands snored. "Christ El, at least _try_ to act like you're not a _complete_ imbecile." The agent growled something in frustration. " I asked you what _she_ looks like." He pointed at the sofa. "You remember Lizzy-O right? Annoying little kid, talks a lot, that's her." He pointed directly at Lizz.

El cracked his knuckles and tried to fight the urges to throw Sands out again. Then something else popped up in his head. "You mean, never saw her?"

Sands face turned to a tortured grimace. "_No_, never saw her." He turned his head away . "I only know the basic things. She got blonde, straight hair, big blue eyes." He started to count on his fingers.

"She's sixteen, around 5foot 6, she wears a bracelet, fucking thing jingles even more that you're jacket and pants. That's all I know and that's pretty _fucked up_, I can't picture her." He paused and El saw he had a hard time to admit to himself he couldn't see. But that face cleared up very fast and got replaced by his old sarcastic grin. "And that's why _I_ asked _you_ what she looked like, are you still with me, or do I talk to fast?" 

Again the urges to throw the man out was very hard to resist, but El managed to stay calm. Slowly he felt the anger leave and took a deep breath. He watched the sleeping girl. "She's got straight ash-blonde hair, looks a bid shaggy, not been cut for a long time. Normally she wears it in a ponytail with some loose strands hanging in her face. A pity because she has a nice face, very friendly and cheerful. Full but modest lips, that smile most of the day. She got big blue-green eyes, sparking when she's having fun. You can see she's enjoying live by it. " El paused for a moment. "She still looks very girlish and tries to cover that with mascara and eyeliner. A shame really, she doesn't need that, she's still an innocent girl."

"Wouldn't say that so loud if I where you, El grande poet." Sands said "She knows as good as I know how _fucked up_ the world is, take that from me."

"How can you know that!" El snapped a bit angry at Sands for his sneering comment.

"Well, first of all, she ended up with _me_, Agent Sands psychopath first class." He smirked at El." And second, she_ told_ me what happened to her." He fell silent for a moment, then continued. "And believe me it wasn't pretty."

"What _did_ happen to her then?" El questioned.

"None of your fucking business," He got for answer.

"I think it _is_, she's living here right now and I want to know what happened to her!" He started to get angry again, why was it so difficult for Sands to just tell him what he knew!

"Well, El Dad in action, I'm not gonna tell you that."

El glared at the man across from him. "Why not!"

Sands placed his hands behind his hands and smiled cocky. "Because, it's none of_ fucking_ your business and now I got something you want to know, that makes me in control and I like that, _a lot_." 

El stood up and stamped towards Sands. He stopped in front of the agent, only a couple inches from the other mans face. "You think you are in control!" His voices was low and threatening. Immediately after his words he saw the agent pale. "Yeah, I am,_ I'm_ in control fuckmook."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, bastard." He spat, still using his low tone.

Sands eyebrows went up and he pushed himself against the chair, trying to get as far from El as possible. "_No_!" The agent whispered. "_No,_ not now, please _don't_!"

El frowned. What was he doing? "Sands, don't play games with me!" He grabbed the agent by his shirt and shook him a little. Sands let out a soft cry, drew himself free and made himself as small as possible, burying his head into the chair. "Please _don't_!" His voice was nothing more than a soft moan, almost not recognizable as Sands'.

A little shocked El watches as the agent started to whisper to himself. "Sands?" He asked frowning.

The agents slowly looked at him, clearly being dead frightened. "No, daddy _please_!" His body jolt and he fell backwards out of his chair. El in reflex tried to grab him, but was too late.

'What is he doing?' El shoved the chair away. "Sands!" He saw the man lying on his back, whole body tensed. Slowly he bowed over the man's trembling body. "_Sands_!" He whispered.

Suddenly the agent moaned and with both hands grabbed his head. "Gimmy the pills, get the fucking pills!" He clawed his nails in his face and looked to the right, away from El. "_No_, I'm not a fucking junky! Keep you're shitty comment to _yourself_ fucker!" 

"_Sands_?" El started to feel very uncomfortable. He didn't know what the think of Sands behaviour. "How are you talking to?"

The man didn't seem to hear him. "Fuck you! I'm not gonna listen to you're shit!" He smacked himself in the face. "If you won't shut your fucking mouth _right now_, I'll shoot you!" He pulled out his gun. "Don't think I'm kidding, mister, I swear I'll do it this time, no girly can stop me this time!" His hand turned into a fist and flew around in the air. "I'm not a _sissy_!" 

El saw Sands pushing the gun against his head. His eye's wide, knowing what the man would do next. He quickly jumped forward and slammed Sands right on his jaw. The blow was harder then he thought. Sands' head snapped to the left side, the gun flew into a corner and Sands glasses dropped on the ground.

El massaged his painful hand and gasped when his eyes bored right into the hollow eye sockets. He stared in horror at the other man. Suddenly he noticed the other man was 'looking' back at him.

"I _hate_ you." Sands hissed at him. "I _hate_ you so fucking _much_!" He spit out some blood and slowly, shaking badly stood up. "But I _killed _you, remember that, I _won_! I beat you fucker, you're _weak_ not me!" He took a couple steps back until he felt a wall behind him.

Then he slowly let his back rest against it. "You _can't_ make me feel this way anymore, that's over! You're _dead_, I _killed_ you, you're a fucking corps rotting 9 feet under the ground." He shook his head and slammed his fist against the wall. _"NO_! I'm in control!" Then he slowly started to laugh and slowly gestured at him. "You're _El_, not him. _You're_ El Mariachi, not the bad evil man."

El frowned. "Sands, what the_ hell_ are you doing!" Somehow this how scene got more on his nerves then when he played his sarcastic, ready to shoot-self.

Again Sands started to laugh, very quietly, little bit childlike. "_I'm_ not doing anything, _he_ is. _He_ came out to play." He turned his face away and bit his lip. "And that's not good, _nuhuh,_ not good _at all_. Lill' Sheriff Sheldon would be pissing his paints right now. Poor lill' kid…" Slowly the man sank on his knees and felt around. El immediate knew what the man was doing. El's eyes quickly scanned the room then finally fell on the gun that lay a few feet from Sands.

He ducked and kicked it away just in time. He grabbed the gun and pointed it at Sands, how was still a little unaware of what was happening around him. But when he heard the clicking of his own gun his almost dreaming attitude disappeared and his face darkened. "What are you doing… _El_?"

El pulled the safety off from the gun. "Tell me what's wrong Sands, why are you acting so crazy!"

"I _AM_ crazy, fuckmook! _Christ_, where have you been the whole time!" El knew that if Sands had his eyes he would roll them. "Crazy, crazy, _crazy_ lill' old Shelly." He pointed at El. "But be careful, crazy Shelly is also_ very_ dangerous. Dangerous, _jup_, that's me."

El still pointed the gun at Sands and ,no more then ever wasn't afraid to use it. "Sands cut this stupid play, this is not you."

"And how _would_ you know that!" Sands spat at him. "How _could_ you know what _I am_!" He took a couple steps forward and looked up at El. "Where you there when _this_ happened!" He pointed at his temple. "Or when _this_ happened!" He pulled his sleeves up to reveal two thin white scars on its wrist. "Or _this_!" He pushed up his shirt and turned around, showing his back. El gasped, his whole back was covered with old wiping scars, cuts and burning marks.

"Do you need to see _more_ to know that this is _exactly_ how and what _I am_!" Sands' tone was low, but far from his normal dangerously self. When El didn't answer he continued. "Well, _do you_! 'Cause I have a lot more to show if you're not convinced yet." Again he took a couple of steps forwards.

Then he looked to the left. "And you , can you finally _shut up_!" He took a deep breath and shook his head violently. "I bet you're the one that's makes him come back!" His head dropped and his hair fell for the hollow sockets. "No, _please_, don't let him come back, _please_!" Then the man fell silent, standing like a marble statue in the middle of the room.

El seriously doubted Sands was still playing mind games on him. Slowly he walked on to the man and lowered his gun. "Sands, what is happening to you?"

When he didn't got a answer he touched the mans shoulder. Immediately Sands flinched back and rubbed his shoulder. "_Don't _touch me!" He backed up. "And it's not about what _is_ happening but what _had _happened asshole." He sighted. "_No,_ I can't tell him that, you _idiot_, he's the enemy!" 

"Sands." El started. "Who are you talking to?"

"Huh?" Sands' head cocked up and it was like he finally noticed El was standing there for real.

"Who are you talking to?" El said again, fully focusing at Sands behaviour. He saw the man tense and pale a bit.

"Where the hell are you talking about, El?" He grinned. "You starting to get old, pal."

His eye's narrowed. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, Sands!" He bow forward to the mans face. "You're talking to something."

"I am _not_!" Sands spat back, but it didn't sound very convincing. El growled and walked back to the chair.

"_Fine_, don't tell me, it's not like I care." He sat down in the chair and looked moody. He sighed and kicked his boots off. He heard the man behind him mutter, but didn't bothered to look around. Suddenly he heard a loud smack that made him jump.

He turned around quickly and saw Sands laying on the floor, clearly passed out. El cursed himself. "Can't that man just stay out of trouble for _one_ minute!"  
**  
****A bit short chap, I must say, sorry for that ******

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	28. Killing time

**Disclaim: No idea if I have to say it every chap, but just for the record: I don't own El, Sands and any other character that's in OUATIM, I wish I did really, I would be rich and famous…**

**Chapter 28) Killing time. **

It was like something was calling her to wake up. Like a small voice back in her head told her to stop dreaming and open her eyes. She sighed and said goodbye to the relaxing sleep and blinked her eyes. Immediately a sharp light shone right into her eyes. She moaned and rubbed her eyes. 'God, what truck hit me?' Slowly she opened her eyes again and wished the light wasn't that hard.

Still very dizzy she looked around the room. Everything was a little discoloured but thankfully stopped spinning. She blinked a couple of times and finally noticed Sands. He was sitting, or actually lying across her in the chair. He didn't look very happy and was playing with his lighter, seeming a bit sunken in his thoughts. She frowned, 'where am I?' Again she looked through the room. It looked familiar. Then she noticed she was lying on a sofa with a blanket covering her. "What the…" She whispered.

"Lizz?" She looked up. Sands stopped playing with his lighter, and was fully focused on her now. "Lizzy?" He said again.

"Uhuh." She struggled to say. What the hell was wrong with her? She thought about it so hard her head started to hurt, more. She remember something from a bar and a very nice guy, very sexy with beautiful dark brown eyes, half long black curling hair… She sighted and started to smile sheepishly. Then bit her lip. Wait, didn't something pretty scary happen after that?

"Still feeling fucked up girly?" She slowly nodded, and then remembered he couldn't see her.

"Jup, still feeling _very_ bad." She swallowed and started to get a little scared, still don't knowing what happened. "Sands, where am I?"

"You're back in home _El Macho_." He pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. "Speaking of the fucker, do you see him around?"

She snored. "Jeez, can you please give me a _moment_! I have a terribly, gruesome headache and you still look a little bit pink! Plus I can't remember a thing, and have no idea how long I have slept here and how I got here!" A shot of pain went through her head. She cursed and rubbed her head.

"Owh shut it, girly. Don't tell me you never had a hangover before!" He smirked and lighted up his cigarette. "Don't ya remember? You started to nag about the time, annoyed my ass off and then we drove home, savvy?"

She frowned. "I have a _hangover_?" She paused. "I can't remember drinking much."

"Well, smartass, that's the whole idea of a hangover." He inhaled. "You can't remember a god damn thing, smell to piss and puke the next day and your brain tears apart." He sighted. "I miss those good old times…"

"I hate it." She mocked, pulling a sulky face. Then she smiled. "I do remember a part about a very nice looking guy." She closed her eyes to think. "Something with a J or something…"

Sands' face went numb. "You're really getting crazy girly, there was no guy."

"_Yes_ there was!" She said. "I think…"

"You're stupid you shouldn't think." Sands snapped. Lizz glared at him but didn't say anything back, she was still a little dizzy and wouldn't give Sands the change to say something mean again.

"You know what helps with killing a hangover?" Sands suddenly said, making Lizz almost jump. "Drinking."

Her eyes widened. "Are you _crazy_! I'm never gonna drink again!"

"Not alcohol, smartass, I mean water." Sands stood up very shaky, finding support on the chair. "Just a sec." Bravely he walked into the kitchen. She heard a couple of glasses tinkle and to her surprise he came back handing her a glass of water. She smiled. "You're too nice! What did you do with the real Sands?"

"Ha-Ha." The sarcasm couldn't be mist. "Don't think I'll make a habit out of it girly." He sat down, placed his legs over one of the armrests and relaxed.

"I wouldn't dream of it Sands." This time her voice was filled with sarcasm. She drunk up the water and afterward even felt a little bit better. Also the colours went back to normal and she could see the room right again. She smiled and put the glass down. Suddenly something got her attention. "Sands, why is your jaw covert with a dark blue bruise?"

Sands growled. "El."

"Whooo!" She quickly sat up. "You fought with El? Again!"

"No, I didn't fight, the fucker just hit me." A dark grimace filled his face. "I can't remember much, but I know I said some very stupid things."

"You did?" Nervously she started to play with her bracelet. "And you have any idea what you told him?" The man before her looked down in defeat.

"I _might_ have given him the _slightest_ idea I'm very fucked up, dangerous and very pathetic." He paused. "I think I told him about what my dad did to me, not in many words but I did. I fucking told him, now he knows _everything,_ the _fucker_!"

"You also told him about the voices?" Lizz whispered.

There was a long pause. "No, I didn't tell him, but it was very clear, even that idiot can figure it out. I was screaming that they had to shut up and fuck off." He took a whiff of his cigarette. "I'm so fucking stupid! I lost the control, _again_!"

"You're not stupid Sands, it's not your fault." She tried to comfort him.

His head jerked up. "It fucking is! I should have beaten the voices by now! I even got a fucking _drug _to kill them and I'm still too weak to shut them out!"

Lizz sighed. Why was it so hard for him to see it wasn't his fault? None of what happened to him was. It worried her, he always blamed himself for what happened to him and he didn't give himself the time to get better. He always wanted to go, but to where? She didn't know and she had the idea he didn't knew it either.

"So what happened then?" She finally asked.

"Can't remember." His tone was bitter. "I just know one think, I'm so fucking screwed right now! He saw me without the glasses and I showed him what my dad did to me. I'm such a fucking fool!" His nails dug into his wrist.

"You're not, Sands, you're one of the smartest people I know. And the most manipulative one."

"Jeez, that helps, girly." He spat. "And how many people do you know, except me and El?"

"Uhhu…" She turned a little red. "Well, I know Chiclet-"

"Great, at least you think I'm smarter than an eight year old!" His voice was again full of sarcasm. "Lucky me!"

She frowned. "Can you please let me finish! And for your information Chiclet is ten! And I know lots and lots of other people. Like my dad, he was really smart and my chemistry teacher, very smart too. And-"

"Alright, I _get_ your point." He snapped, taking the last whiff of his cigarette.

Lizz kicked away the blanket and lay down on the sofa, looking at the wall facing her. "Where is El anyway?"

"Dunno." She reworded as answer. "He was gone before I woke up. But does it matter? I hate the fuckmook."

'You do, but don't,' she thought. She really liked El, he wasn't that uptight the whole time as Sands was. He also treated her with respect and it was nice to talk to him. It was nice to listen to nice romantic stories about Mexico. No matter what happened to her in this country she still loved it, just like her father did.

"So what do we do now?"

"Well, I was enjoying the beautiful silence, but it seems you already fucked that up."

She glared at him. "Can you stop sneering at me for once! I just asked you one question, no need to get all that angry at me!"

To her surprise he didn't reply. She mumbled something nasty and stood up. A little bit uneased she took the first step.

"What are you doing?" Sands asked frowning.

"I'm _walking_, some people do that if they're bored." Immediately the agent stood up and grabbed her shoulder. "_Hey_!" She yelled.

"You shouldn't walk, girly, you're sick!" he tried to push her back down.

"No I'm not! I just have a little hangover, it's nothing!" She slapped his hand away. "Stop treating me like a little girl! I can take care of myself!"

"No, you _can't_!" And he pushed her back on the sofa.

She landed on the sofa and turned red. "Yes! I _so _can take care of myself!"

"No you_ so_ can't!" He told her determined. "You're still a little girly, no matter how much eyeliner or mascara you use!"

Her eyes widened. "How do you know I wear eyeliner and mascara? I never told you that!"

He opened his mouth then closed it again. He turned around and walked to the chair. "I need a smoke, you're so god damn annoying!"

"Like you're a sweet little angel to live with!" She growled. She pushed her legs up and laid her head on her knees. "So since I'm grounded on the sofa what am I gonna do to prevent me from dying of boredom?"

"You can watch TV." Sands threw the remote at her.

She sighed frustrated. "Sands, it's eleven AM, noting good on TV, only home shopping stuff and very _lame_ soaps like As The World Turns! I'm not gonna watch that!"

"Then you _don't_ watch TV and shut up." He told her through gritted teeth.

"But I got to do something!" She yelled slightly scared she was really going to die from boredom. " C'mon I wanna do something,_ please_?" She tried to sounds so sweet as possible.

"Christ shut up!" Sands yelled. "You're just so.." He muttered something in frustration. "I'm going outside to get some fresh air and hopefully find some fucker I can shoot. I hope for you that fucker comes, else you might be the next!" He walked to the door. "If I even get the slightest idea you left the sofa, you're so gonna _regret_ it girly!" With that he walked out and slammed the door shut.

Lizz watched the closed door with big eyes. "I swear that guy is getting freakier by the minute!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After a half hour of sitting against the fence of the veranda, trying to get his anger down and after having more than one smoke he calmed down.

'Where did El go?' He thought. 'Maybe I scared him so much he flied'. He smirked that would be so brilliant. To bad he knew the man. El wasn't a man that would leave without a fight. And the fuckmook made it his heroic mission to protect the little girly, so there was _no way_ he wouldn't come back. He stood up and placed his hands on the fence letting his body support on the wood. The warm Mexican wind played with his sticky uncombed hair. He sighted. 'God, I wise I had my eyes back.'

He pushed up his glasses a little and touched the skin beneath them. The girl told him it didn't scar that much, but she probably just had said that to make him feel better, stupid little kid, why did she tried to be nice to him? He didn't deserve that, not after everything he did. He killed so many people, destroyed so many lives and did so many other nasty stuff. And he didn't feel sorry for it, not even a little regret. It was to late for all of that. Just to fucking late...

He shook his head. "Better get back in before she some how finds a way to get herself killed." He grinned and pushed open the door. He walked in and heard the sound of the TV.

"So you decided to go watch TV after all?"

"Uhu." Was the cranky answer.

"Good girl, finally you listen to me." He grinned. 'Guess threatening works after all.'

"Right, Sands, _of course_ I listen to you…" He didn't like her tone, to sweet, to suspicious.

"What did you do!" He said on a low tone.

"Nothing… just watching TV, just like you ordered me."

There was something going on, she never did what he ordered her to do. "Spit it out girly, what did you do?"

"Nothing, would I _dare_ to undermine your authority!" Still her voices was very sweet, but there was a sarcastic undertone, very hard to miss.

"Girly, I know you're fucking with me, so say it before I have to hurt you!" He walked dangerously towards her.

"Owh, I'm _so_ scared right now!" He knew she was smiling, challenging him. She was fucking playing with him! With him, Agent Sands! "You better be!" He snapped.

She started to giggle and jumped of the sofa. "You can't even catch me!" Sands growl and jumped at her. She gave a loud scream and backed up just in time.

"Fucking little bitch, stay still!" Very pissed he cracked his knuckles.

"Yeah, _right_, do you think I'm that stupid!" She laughed. "You can't get me!"

He growled. 'One day I'm so gonna shoot her fore real!' "Owh, just wait girly!" He focus on her breathing and rushed to her. She started to scream and laugh at the same time then made a run. She jumped on the sofa and looked around, facing Sands. The man looked utterly pissed off and ready to shoot someone. She grinned. 'Let's see how more further I can go before he 'shoots' me.'

"You're getting _slow_ Sands!" She yelled, jumping up and down on the sofa.

His eyebrows went low. " I was going to be easy on you, being a naïve little girl, but you screwed that part up. Now you're in _big trouble_ missy!"

She made another jump. "Like I said before, you can't catch me!" To her surprise he started to smirk. "_What_!"

"_Nothing_…" He looked slightly up. "I just wished I could see your face when I do _this_." And with one powerful kick he kicked her feet from under her. Her eyes wide and before she knew it she landed on her butt, right next to the sofa.

"Hey!" Furious she looked up. "You _cheated_!"

Smirking he looked down on her. "Girly, I'm a corrupted CIA agent, cheating is my way of life!" He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her up, still smirking devilish.

She pouted. "It still isn't fair, you know…"

"Like I care." His grip tightened a little. "Now, before I lose my sanity even more by your annoying little kiddy games… What did you do!"

"Noting-" She got pulled up and hung in the air. "Okay, I made a couple of changes on the TV, nothing big, I swear!"

"And what is that suppose to mean!" Sands snapped, not easing his grip.

She sighted and rolled her eyes. "Hello, what do you think! I screwed the thing open and switched a few wires. Now I can watch MTV, canal plus and TMF!"

His grip eased and he let her go. "That's it?"

She nodded. "Uhuh…"

"And you only switched a couple of wires?"

She nodded again. "Jup."

He started to chuckle and tapped on her shoulder. "That's pretty smart, girly." She jumped back on the sofa and sat down. "Dawn of the dead is on canal plus, wanna watch?"

He glared at her. "I _can't_ see idiot."

"_So_?" She switched the TV one. "I'll tell you what's happening."

He thought for a moment and finally sat down next to her. "Guess there is nothing else I can do around here. So why not?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was kind of nice to watch a movie with the girly. He succeeded to make her jump for four times in less then a half hour. She was totally in the movie, yelling to the characters what to do and in the meantime telling him what the 'idiots' ,like she called them, where doing.

"Owh, _god_! How can they be so stupid!" She yelled frustrated next to him. He chuckled, she probably was still holding the little pillow against her chest for support if something scary happened. Or to smack him with if he dared to scare her for the fifth time.

"I really don't get those people!" She muttered. "Why do they always run to the wrong place or open a door while it's so clear a zombie is behind it!"

"Girly, calm down, you'll faint if you keep talking in this speed." He smirked when he heard her grumble something at him. "And, just so you can sleep without a nightlight on, they're actors and get paid to play in third range movies like this."

"Thanks for ruining the movie Sands, really…"

"No problem, luv."

He got rewarded by a pillow against his shoulder. He grabbed the thing in reflex and snatched it out of her hands.

"_HEY_! Give it back!"

He held the pillow as far away from her as he could. "Don't think so, Lizzy-O."

Right when she was about to grab the pillow back, someone slammed hard on the door.

The both stopped fighting and looked at the direction of the door. Lizz half bent over Sands to snatch the pillow back, looked with huge eyes at the door. "It's the _zombies_!" Fast she grabbed the pillow and held it in front of her.

Sands glared at her. "There are no such things as _zombies_, idiot!"

Again someone slammed against the door. Lizz gave a scream and jumped behind the sofa. She heard Sands curse, sighed and dragged him behind the sofa too. Sands pulled his wrist back. "What the fuck do-"

"SST! Not now!" She whispered. Thankfully he listened to her and went quiet. Someone outside screamed and with one last _BANG_ the door slammed open.

Lizz swallowed, pulled Sands' gun out from between his belt and jumped up, just in time to look right into the hurried eyes of El. Her mouth dropped. "What-"

El cut her off. "They found us!" He yelled, slamming the door shut and pulling out his own gun. "There _here_!"

**Jup, I let it hang on a cliffy again, sorry for that but I luvvv Cliffies! And well, this chap took me so long I just wanted to update! **

**OWh and Emma, thanks for that scare tactics! **

**Review please, you'll get a cookie!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	29. Strongest man alive

**It took me some time to start this chapter and it took me even longer to writhe it. It's the longest chap I ever writhen, but I think you won't mind that, enjoy!**

**Disclaim: Just in case Robert Rodriquez wants to sue me, I don't own anything, only Lizz is mine! **

**Chapter 29) Strongest man alive. **

Sands had no idea what happened after El rushed in. He heard the sound of a stopping car and the girl, how stood next to him, started to scream. He wanted to pull his gun out fell the empty spot and remembered the girly had his gun. He cursed and wanted to yell she had to give his gun back.

But even before he opened his mouth he got dragged to a wall by strong arms. Someone pushed him down on the ground. His arm got twisted on his back and someone held his head down. It scared him more then ever that he couldn't see and didn't knew who was half sitting on him. But he immediately turned his fear into rage and started to kick around and scream that fucked had to let him go.

It took only three seconds for the man on top of him to pull his gun out. Sands felt the cold metal against his temple and tensed.

The someone on top of him bent down and whispered in his ear: "Don't move asshole, else I have to shoot you." Sands bit his lip, not to make a snappy remark, knowing that it wouldn't help him this time. He decided to shut up and listened what was going on.

There where more people inside. He tried to count the running feet's. It where about six men running around but he couldn't be sure. He heard El curs and heard a couple of gun shots. One of the man yelled and fell on the floor, instinctively he started to smirk. He heard another gun shot and this time the great El Mariachi fell on the floor. Sands head jerked to El. 'Is he badly wounded?' He tried to pick up a sound of the man. 'Christ, why did they have to take the eye's!'

A couple of man laughed proudly, cheering they beat 'The'. Sands cursed under his breath. 'Fuck, they know who he is, then they probably knew who I am!'

"Where is the little kid." One of the man said. Sands tensed. 'Fuck!' He totally forgot about her. She was still somewhere in the house! And the fuckers where also after her. If they shot her he would kill all the fuckmooks and let it hurt like the deepest pit of hell! He again started to kick and tried to push the man off of him. In reward his arm got twisted so far on his back he was sure it would brake. He hissed in pain and got reward by a smack on the back of his head.

"If you move again, I will hurt you for real." The man hissed. "Now shut up, asshole!"

He gritted his teeth and made a helpless fist, whishing he could hit the fucker so hard his noise would be on the back of his head.

"Here is the little kid!" One of the standing man yelled furious. The others mumbled some excuses. "_Idiots_!" The man snapped. "How fucking _hard_ is it to find one little girl!" Again some nasty words came out of the mans mouth. "You three, go looking for her. And if you come back without her you can kiss you're screwing day's goodbye." Again Sands smirked, if the situation would be different he had defiantly bought a drink for the guy.

"And you three." The man continued. "Stay with then. And _don't_ let them escape, they are worth a lot of money."

Sands heard the man leave. The fucker on top of him cursed. He got dragged up, still with his hand on his back and a gun against his temple. "_Walk_." The man ordered and he got pushed forward. He did what was told. He was smart enough not to make a fuss. He could get wounded and he wanted to know what was going on. He got push forward until the wall. He heard El panting next to him when he got pushed down against the wall.

"You're wounded?" He asked immediate.

"What do you think!" El snapped.

"You two, _shut up_!" One of the man said.

Sands grinned and looked up. "Ore _what_!"

The man smirked, he knew it. "Ore we might hurt you're little girlfriend." He felt himself pale and closed his mouth.

Suddenly there was a high scream. It almost made him jump and his heard skipped a beat. 'They got her!' His shoulders dropped. '_Fuck_! They got her!'

But it wasn't over yet. There was a loud _bang_ from something heavy and he heard two man yell in surprise. Sands smiled. 'Good girl', he thought, 'Let the fuckers know what you're worth!'

Small and hurried footsteps run throw the house, followed by two large ones. He heard glass brake and to his surprise he heard the two man fell on the ground, followed by a cheerful scream from the girl. The door slammed opened and the footsteps, just like the cheering scream, stopped.

"They got you two already!" She yelled scared.

Sands was just about to say something like. 'Thanks for you're brilliant observation', but got cut off.

"_Get her_ idiot!" The 'headman', yelled. The girl screamed and kicked around but just like him and El she had no chance. She also got pushed against the wall, next to Sands.

"All clear boss!" The headman yelled. Sands frowned, he wasn't the boss of the operation? But if he wasn't the leader how was…?

Someone stepped in and clapped in his hands. "Good work, Joscho."

Sands felt al the colour disappear from his face. His mouth dropped and he felt a shiver flew throw his body. "_Daily_?"

The man walked to wards him. "Nice to _see_ you again, old buddy, to bad you can't say the same." The man laughed coldly. "Let's see if the rumours are true." Sands immediately knew what the man was going to do. He tried to back away and jerked his head away. It only made the man in front of him laugh. The man grabbed his shin and pushed his head to him. Fast the man snatched his glasses away and a painful silent followed.

"_Tu-tu_ Sands, you really screwed up this time." Daily sneered. A couple man laughed. Sands couldn't breath. He had never felt so much rage. His whole body was tensed and he promised himself he would kill the man in front of him one day, he would make him cry for dead. He would-

"_Stupid ass_, give him his glasses back!" Sands turned his head a little to the girly next to him. Her voice was calm but full of rage. He felt very proud of the little girly, standing up for him against six armed man and world biggest fucker.

"Ahh, the brave little kid, I heard a lot of you from my boss." Daily turned to her. "You _won't_ be so brave if where back at you're _stepdaddy_, honey."

She let out one soft sob full of fear. And that was it. No-one except him was in the position to treat her! He truss his arm loos and jumped on Daily. "Daily shut you're _fucking_ mouth!" With al his force he let his fist connect with the mans face. He heard something brake and smirked, he broke the fuckers noise. Two strong hand dragged him off of Daily and he got slammed against the wall, but not even that could make him stop smirking. Even when he got kicked against the ribs.

"Never mind him." Daily spat, sounding like he got a cold. "He will get what he deserve, just wait and don't wound him more, think about the money. Let the _freak_ have his fun, it will be the _last_ time."

Sands frowned and thought quickly. "And what's that suppose to mean?"

"You'll get soled out to the Cartels, my dear college." Daily said.

One second he thought he would lose it, one second he thought he would lose his whole sanity. Then he remembered who he was, world biggest bastard slash greatest manipulator. He smirked evils. "No _fucker_, that's not my _point_. I meant, you're really letting me go! _Me_, the cold blooded murderer? You know me Daily, you know what I can do."

Daily thought for a moment. "Yes, I knew what you _could_ do, but now you're blind, and that means wordless."

His eyebrows rose. "Am _I_?" With one quick motion he pulled out the gun from the man who held him, aimed and shot. Three feet before him the headman dropped dead on the floor. The girly gasped, but didn't say anything. Sands was thankful for that. "You where saying?" Again silent filled the room.

Finally Daily dared to say something. "I'm still not convinced Sands."

He shrugged. "What do you want to see more? I got all day, throw me a curve ball."

"Well, Sands, I heard you got soft. Show me you're not and I might get you a job."

He smirked, he was half way throw. "I got _soft_! You're sure _you_ didn't lose you're eye's" Good Sands, very uncaring! " I fucking shot a man, he's laying right in front of you."

"_No_ Sands, that's not what I mean. I mean, you got a soft spot for the little kid." Daily gestured at Lizz. Slowly she looked up from the dead man and looked with terrified eye's at the man in front of her. He was pretty small and had about forty ponds overweight. He was getting bold and the hair he had left was hanging in dirty black-grey strings for his face. You could see on his face he hade lived his life. His eye's here blue and very dark.

"Why would I do that? Why would I want that?" Sands continued. Slowly she looked up at Sands. His face was numb without any emotion. It scared her to see him so cold, you could never know what he would do next. Then he started to chuckle and pointed at her. "You think that _I_ would _care_ for a lousy little brat like this? She's_ nothing_ to me, really, I thought she could get me money. But she's to _stupid_ to get it, I was planning to leave the kid today. To bad you fuckers came early."

She felt tears run over her cheek. 'The bastard, how could he! After everything she did for him! Now he was begging for a job at her stepdad.' She swallowed and rubbed her eye's.

"You mean you know we would come?" Daily asked in surprise.

"Course I did, where do you take me for?" Sands pointed at him. "I know you longer that today, Daily, _you shit_, you always come back."

"But… I saw you driving away from the bar, why did you run then? You could have handed me the kid right then."

'Fuck, don't started about that, fucker!' Sands looked away from the little girl. "I got a little occupied."

Lizz eye's narrowed. "You mean you _knew_ he was working for my stepdad!" Sands didn't say anything. "How _could_ you!" She started to sob. "I told you what that guy did to me and you where going to hand me to him! _Bastard_! That, after all I did for you! I hate you! I hate you _so much_!"

This time he did look at her. Still his face was without any emotion. "I don't give a _shit_ girly, never had. Sorry for breaking you're sweet little heart like this. But, c'mon wake up, this is the _real world_."

She didn't know what to say ore how to react. She looked away from the man she had trusted and bit her lip so she wouldn't cry. She looked over at El, how was still bleeding from the wound in his left arm. His eye's where dark and looked deadly at Sands.

"_Still_." Daily broke the silent. "I'm not convinced enough."

"What prove do you need, '_college_'?" Sands clicked the gun. "You name it, I'll do it."

Lizz saw Daily think. After a couple of seconds his dark eye's started to sparkle. She didn't like it and moved a little to El for protection, knowing he couldn't do any more than she could. Suddenly Daily reached out to her and pulled her close by her shoulder. She gave a scream looked furious at the man and tried to kick him. He simply pushed his gun against her neck and she went quiet.

"You told me you don't have a weak spot for the kid, _show it_." The man pushed her hard to Sands. She got smacked against him and fast backed up a couple of steps. She looked desperately at him. ' Please do something.' She noticed he didn't look that cold anymore, he looked kind of stressed. But it disappeared very fast and got replaced by his trademark smirk. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her near him.

Sands felt like shit, no fucked up, screwed over, fucking fucked! He felt sick, he couldn't hurt her, he owned her that. "What's this Daily?" He heard himself asked very cool.

Daily laughed. "Hit her."

His mouth dropped and he knew he lost the last bit of his colour. "_What_!"

"You heard me, _hit her_. Hit her as hard as you hit me." The man sighted and walked up to him. "Don't tell me the great agent Sands can't do this simple mission!"

"Off course I can!" He snapped, insulted by the mans words.

"_Why aren't you hitting her then Shel?" _The voice said very soft. _"And why are you feeling so low right now! You should be happy, you just got a job offered and a way out! Just hit the little girl and you're free to go, rich and fortune are laying in front of you, Shel!" _

'I know that, fuckwit!' He swallowed. 'Just give me a fucking minute.' His grip around the girl's wrist tightened and he pulled her close. He heard her breathing fastened and he felt her tremble. He knew she was scared. She was scared of him, terrified. And he hated it, and that pissed him off. Normally he felt so fucking good if he scared someone shitless… but now… she had trusted him without a doubt, she had helped him, took care of him and tried to be nice to him even when he made that so hard. She was the first person he ever told about his past, about how fucked up he was, about the bad evil man. She had listened and didn't judge him. Not even when he told her about how much he hated the bad evil man and how good he felt when he killed the man. Now he was the bad evil man, she was dead scared of him and he was about to hurt her.

"_So what Shel! Remember what I told you, take what you can and give nothing back! You don't need her Shel, you don't need anyone! You're to strong for that and you have to prove it now. So show them you're independent, do what Daily says and you'll be rich and powerful before you know it." _

He swallowed and started to sweat. He knew everyone in the room was looking him, waiting for his move. Even _he_ was waiting for his next move. What should he do? He knew what he was suppose to do and about a year ago he would have done it, no doubt. Well, maybe he had thought about it in the back of his head, but he wouldn't feel guilty ore regret.

"_What happened with you Shel? C'mon don't act like you care. This isn't you. You're not suppose to care about anyone besides yourself. Why would you now! You know how people work, then use you as long as they need and then stab you in the back or just go away. You saw it happen and you felt it, think about you're eye's. If you hadn't trust her you would be rich and free! Think about that, Shel!"_

'I know that, you don't have to let me remember all that, I was _there_...' He slightly shook his head. 'But still, she's just a _kid_, just like I was…'

"Is there a problem, Sands?" The voice of Daily sounded annoyed and bitter. The man how had hold him pushed him forwards. He slowly dragged her along in the process. She gasped when he dragged her close. He opened his mouth to say something to her not sure that it would be something comforting or something nasty. Slowly he closed it again when he couldn't choose between the two options.

'Fuck this, I'm in the middle of the room and everyone is staring at me.' He glared around, hoping it would make the doubtful whispering stop.

"_Shel, now you have to stop! If you don't hit her now, I'll make the bad evil man come back, you don't want that to happened, now do you?" _

He tensed and felt sick. "_No_!" His breathing started to speed up instantly. "_No_, don't do that!" His voice was nothing more than a soft cry.

"_Good boy, I knew you would listened to me… Now, do what you're nice college says and hit the pain in the ass." _

He felt his right and turn into a fist and with his left hand felt the girl tense. He bit his lip, god way am I so fucking weak! He shook his head. I _can't_ do this. He let his shoulders drop.

Daily sighted. "Sands what is this about? Don't tell me you don't want that so well pay job…"

"_Yes, Shel, what's you're fucking problem!" _He never heard the voice so angry before, but that was because he always did what the voice told him to do. "_Get you're fucking ass together and just hit her! HIT HER! If you don't hit her right now I'll go get the bad evil man and he will make you pay!" _

His stomach turned around. 'No, _please_ don't do that.' He tried to get his breath under control again. This was it, he was freaking out.

Then slowly the girl moved towards him, not much but just enough to hear her clear. "Just do it Sands, you want that job so badly knock yourself out. I'm tiered of this…this fight you always try to win, just do it I don't care anymore." Her voice was so cold and so uncaring, he tensed. He knew that voice, it was _his_, the one without any _hope_.

"I'm sorry." Slowly Lizz looked up and stared into the dark glasses. Her eye's narrowed. "What?"

"I'm _sorry_." His voice seemed to soften and he looked a little frightened. Slowly he smiled and rose his fist.

"No!" She backed off and held her hands protective for her face. She pressed her eye's shut and waited for the blow in the face.

But that blow didn't come. Instead he grabbed her around the waist and pressed her close. With his free hand he searched for the gun and pulled it from between her belt. For a second she was brain-dead and didn't know what he was doing and what she was suppose to do. That was until she saw him holding the gun. Her eye's shoot throw the room and she saw one of the man come out of his trance. "Tall man, three o'clock!" She yelled.

Sands reacted immediately, aimed at the shocked man and pulled the trigger. Gasping for air the man fell forward and everyone in the room watched the man fall on the floor. A soft gasp escapes her mouth as she stairs at the unmoving body. 'I'll never get use to that.'

_Click-click_, Echoed throw the room and she jumped up. Six guns pointed at her and Sands. "How many?" Sands hissed.

"Six." She answered.

"Fuck!" He grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her behind hem. "_Stay_." She nodded slightly and looked terrified to Daily who pointed his gun directly on her.

"This is the most stupid thing you ever did Sheldon." He almost spit Sands first name in the face. Lizz slowly looked at Sands. He stood for her like a statue, his back to wards her. He still didn't had his glasses back so it wasn't hard to figure out how his face expression was.

"No the stupidest thing was not handing you to the police when I found out you liked kiddie porn." His voice was dark and he pointed his gun a little up, now aiming at Daily chest. "And the most stupid think you could do, you just did. Now I know _exactly_ where you're standing." He clicked his gun. "And my ammo is almost full, not that I need that of course…"

Daily started to laugh. "Sands, for the case you forgot, my man are right in front of you, you can't kill me without killing yourself."

Sands smirked. "Yeah, I figured that out." Slowly he pushed the girl forward. "Good thing I always think of a plan B." He pointed with his free hand to the girl. "I know you came for her and I know you need her to get the money. You _can't _harm her therefore."

Daily glared at her and Sands. "Don't be a fool, it's six against one."

"Make that five against two, bastard!" Everyone turned around. El jumped out, pulled out the gun of the man in front of him and shot him throw the chest, giving Sands the time to react. He thankfully took that time and when the man El killed dropped on the floor he shoot the next. Panic started to fill the room. El kicked a man against the jaw and Sands in the meantime shot someone in the face.

Lizz stood there in the middle of the room, surrounded by fighting man and bullets flew around her head. 'At some point this is very _flattering_,' she thought. 'There all fighting because of _me_…'

She got kicked out of her though by Sands furious voice. "You're still standing!" He didn't even gave her time to react. "Fucking kid, there shooting, get you're _ass_ down!" He gave her a hard push and she fell backwards on her ass, like usual. "AUW!" She yelled. No-one reacted. 'Great! What am I suppose to do now!'

One man noticed her and scamper up to her. Lizz gave a loud scream and scrawled on her stomach under the sofa. She heard the man above the sofa laugh cruel. Her eye's shot fire. 'You think you won, don't ya? Well I'll show you what girl-power is!" She looked around and saw a old mousetrap. She grinned so wicked it could be Sands'.

Suddenly a very load scream filled the room. Sands stopped for one moment with killing everything that cam on his path. "Why is that_ fucker_ screaming!" Then he heard the high giggle of the girl and shook his head. "I don't even want to know…" After that he grinned and shot the idiot how thought he could sneak upon him.

After a couple of minutes everything that was suppose to be the bad guy's, killed. Very proud of himself he pulled his gun back between the belt. Right away he knew he made one very big mistake.

"_Bigger than not listening to me? Cause don't think I'm done with you yet Shel! You'll see!" _

He smacked himself on the forehead. 'Not now!' He slowly turned around and tried to pick up some sounds. 'Where did everybody go, where is the kiddo and _El Idiotico_?' He smiled, maybe I 'expediently' shot the fuck…' He felt himself glow and was about to do a happydance. 'But wait, he would defiantly have yelled at me ore at leased killed me back…'

Suddenly he heard someone movie behind him. In reflex he pulled his gun and aimed at the person behind him. He heard a very dark laugh. "_Daily_!" He clicked his gun. "Got any last words?"

"_Not_ so fast, college, I got something of you." There was a little bit of moving and a small whispered. "Speak, ore I'll have to hurt you."

"More then you're already doing! _God_, take a mint jerk, you _stink_!" Sands head jerk to the voice.

He growled. "Fucking Lizz! I told you to stay down!"

"Just throw you're gun Sands." Daily ordered. "Else she might get hurt and you don't want that now do you, dear Sheldon."

It took him so much self-control to not shoot the man right now. His teeth gritted and slowly he throw his gun to the man, hoping it would hit his feet at least.

"_Weak shit!" _The voice yelled. _"Look what caring about the little bitch cost you! Can't you see it! You're weak, weaker then ever! I swear you're daddy is laughing in his grave right now!" _The voice snored. _"Just wait till he gets here!" _

Sands shook his head. 'Go away!'

"Good boy, _you_, pick it up and hand it to me." Daily continued.

He heard the girl mutter and there was a small movement. "Good girl." He heard his own gun click. "Sands, stupid ass, I gave you one small mission and you fucked it up. You could have become a rich man, instead you played the wrong carts, now you _lose_…"

Lizz saw him aiming the gun at Sands chest. Her eye's widened. _"NO_!" Alarmed Sands let him drop on his knees. Just in time, Daily shot and missed Sands by a inch. Lizz bit her lip and tried to get lose. "Watch out Sands, he wants to kill you!"

"No, _really_!" Sands snapped back trying to find a safe place.

'Don't be so god damn annoying!' She though, glaring at him. Suddenly she saw Daily was reloading the gun and didn't pay attention on her. If she only could get her hands free. The jerk had bond her wrist so tight she had the feeling her whole blood circulation was cut off.

'But Sands can kill every man he wants without his eye's, so I should technically be able to at leased _distract_ this idiot.' She looked around. 'But _how_…' Here eye's focused on a gun, a very big gun. Without thinking she ducked forward and grabbed the gun then turned around and pointed the gun at Daily.

"Not so cool now huh!" She smiled, then she noticed the gun was out of ammo. 'God must really hate me…' She now noticed Daily as well as Sands where looking at her. 'Great, he thinks I'm in control of the situation, fabulous!'

"C'mon, girly _smoke_ the fuck!" He yelled furious. "Send him straight to fucking Broadway!"

She rolled her eye's. "Well, Sands, there is a _small_ problem." 'Okay, I just hope the man can't speak Spanish…' "El señala dos fusiles en mí y yo soy fuera de balas"

"Owh." Was the answer. "That sucks..."

"Us Spanish, idiot!" She yelled back. "_Jeez_!" She looked back ad Daily and even he understood there was something wrong.

"What's going on!" He snapped, now pointing one gun at Sands and the other at her.

Lizz smiled innocent. "_Nothing_."

But he wasn't convinced. He grumbled something and took a couple of steps to her. "If you don't spit it out, kid, I'll shoot him." He gestured at Sands. She swallowed. 'Owh, damn, shit, fuck, hell!'

Daily narrowed his eye's and shot. Sands jumped and she gave scream. The man had nearly missed Sands. "Spit it out, kid, right now!" He lowered his gun a little and was now aiming at her feet. "Else you'll never walk again."

"I Wouldn't do that is I where you." Daily and she turned to the voice. Daily cursed and she smiled. It was El. Slowly he walked into the room, with one hand pressed against his wound and in the other holding a shotgun. "I give you five seconds to get out of this house and _never_ to come back again."

Daily paled and opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Slowly not lowering his gun he walked backwards to the front door, not loosing the gun out of his sight. In the doorframe he stopped. "Ill get you for _this_ Sands, I'll get you _all_!" Then he smack the door shut and within a couple of seconds there was the screeching sounds of a driving car.

Lizz sighted in relieved and let the gun drop. Right that second El collapsed on the kitchen floor. She gasped, jumped up and run to El. She kneeled down. "El! _EL_! Say something!"

The man slowly opened his eye's. "I think, I need to see a doctor…" The he fainted again.

Lizz shook El, but there was no reaction. "Owh, _fuck_! SANDS!" hurried she looked around and saw the man sitting on the floor, seeming very depressed. "Sands! Don't sit there like that! _Help me_!"

"For w_hat_, I screwed up, I let him get away." The man sighted. "I'm so fucking _weak_!"

Lizz stood up, grabbed Sands by his wrist and pushed him up. "No time for self-pity, we have to get El to a doctor!"

He shrugged. "Then you go, I'm staying here."

"No you're not!" She sounded so determent. "You're coming with me, I'm not letting you behind. If that jerk comes back he will kill you and I don't want that. So get you're ass together and help me get El in the car!"

"But…"

"No fucking _but_, Sands, get up and help me!"

"I _can't_." He whispered, dropping back on his knees again.

She sighted in frustration "Why not?"

"Cause I'm _weak_." His voice was low and almost not to hear. "It's back, it's not talking yet, but I know it. _He's_ coming back and I won't be able to stop him." He started to sob. "Can't you see it? I lost, I fucking _lost_! I'm _weak_."

She felt a shiver run throw her body. "Sands, don't talk like that." Slowly she sat next to him. "You're not weak. If you where you would have hit me and joint my stepdad. But you didn't do that. You _saved_ me again." She placed her arm around his shoulder. " And that's makes you the strongest man alive."

**Awww, isn't that sweet! Didn't think Sands had that in him did ya! He can be a very sweet guy if he wants. IF he wants, so you won't get to see this nice side of him very much, maybe never again:P **

**Hope you enjoin this chap, Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **

**AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEWWW! **

**Translation: **

**El señala dos fusiles en mí y yo soy fuera de balas: He's pointing two guns at me and I'm out of bullets.**


	30. Parent talk

**First things first: I got over 100 reviews for this story! You can't believe how happy I am with this! I'M SO HAPPY! Everyone that ever reviewed this story, I LUV YA ALL! HAPPY! HAPPY! **

**So enough of the crape, I'll start writing, OWH! I made it 'till chapter 30! **

**I also have a request. I need a beta. I really need a beta.( No offends Me-Loves-Orli) But I need someone who can make the small things like face expressions and actions better. If you're interested, please mail me! **

**Chapter 30) Parent talk.**

It took them some time to get El to the truck. Thankfully he had parked the car almost on the veranda, but it was still a very hard job to get him there. Even with the two of them it was an almost impossible mission.

After half an hour, much cursing and yelling they managed to place El on the backseat of the truck. Lizz panted and brushed away the hair that had fallen in her face during the process. She sat down on the driver's seat and sighed. Next to her Sands sat down, also heavily panting. "Fucking _Christ_, I'm _never_ doing that ever again." He wiped away the sweat on his forehead. "I'm going to kill him as soon as we're at the doctor!"

She started the car. "Don't cheer to soon, we still have to get there." He muttered some curses and glared at her. Lizz looked right into the hollow eye sockets. She swallowed. "Here." She grabbed into her pocket and pulled out his sunglasses. Slowly she pushed the dark glasses in his hand. "I guess you want these back."

A little shocked he looked at her, opened his mouth, then grabbed the glasses and turned his head away. Lizz looked at him for a moment then looked down unease. She hated the fact that he still was ashamed whenever she saw him without the glasses. As if _she_ would scream in horror or make fun of him.

'To bad he still doesn't understand that,' she bit her lip and made a memo she had to stop that childish habit for once and for all. She grabbed the wheel, looked into the window and saw El looked horrible pale and hadn't moved since they placed him in the car. 'No time to lose.' She turned the car and hit the road.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

After half an hour or so she drove into the city and without any accidents, killing or any other crape she normally landed in she found a small hospital. It lay right in front of the fountain with the statue of the old prick. She smiled relieved.

"We made it Sands!" She laugh. " We made it to the hospital."

He tensed. "_Hospital_?"

"DUH!" She kicked the door open and jumped into the Mexican warmth. "And we didn't even get someone killed!" She opened the door and looked at El. She pushed back his hair behind his ears and she frowned. "I'm getting some help from the hospital, I don't think we'll be able to walk him into the building. You stay here okay?" Without waiting for an answer she closed the door and hurried to the hospital. Inside she found some male nurse and explained without difficulty what was going on, sparing him all the many details, she wasn't that stupid.

Two man ran out to the car and carried El into the hospital.

Lizz picked up El's wallet from the ground and was about to run after them. She had already started walking to the hospital again, then remember Sands was still in the car. She cursed, turned around and ran back to the car. Panting she opened the door. "Sands are ya coming or what!"

Silence, not even a movement from the man she was looking at.

She glared at him and sat besides him. "C'mon Sands, _please_, don't be your annoying stubborn little self and get your ass in action!"

Still no action from him. She frowned. He was sitting totally silent, she wasn't even sure he was breathing. It seemed he was staring at the hospital in front of him, dead pale.

This frightened her a little. "Sands? Why aren't you screaming at me for calling you stubborn and ordering you around?"

Finally he let out a very soft cry, almost inaudible. She noticed his nails were digging into the palms of his left hands. "I'm _not_ going back there, Lizz." He took a shaky breath. "_She_ died in there. Everything got so fucking fucked up after I went in there. I'm not going back in there_ ever_ again."

All of a sudden she felt very sad. "I'm sorry. I hadn't thought about that." He just shrugged.

"Can we go now, _please_?" He looked slightly at her. "You can pick a place to go, I don't mind, I just don't want to be here."

She nodded quietly, not knowing how to react to this sad little puppy. It was almost freighting how he could act so different from time to time. About one hour ago he had told her coldly he didn't give a damn about her and only saw her as an annoying little kid, but right after that he had saved her life. Why couldn't he just pick an attitude and stick with it!

She was about to start the car and remembered why they were here in the first place. She stared at the hospital. "What about El."

He laughed coldly. "You think I give _a shit_ about what will happen to that fuckmook?"

"No _but_…" She stopped, knowing it was impossible to talk him into anything that was about saving El. "I'll drive you to a motel."

He nodded silently, still staring at the hospital.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"We're here." She said, pulling over.

It was the first thing she had said since they drove away from the hospital. It was beginning to get scary, normally she couldn't been hushed by anything in the world.

He nodded, not in the mood to say anything. They stepped out and he let the girl guide him into the hotel. He got placed next to the counter, at least that was what he thought. The girl started talking to who was probably the manger, about renting a room. He heard her whisper about El's money and he felt the urge to snap something at her for being so god damn _honest_. But he kept quiet, even scaring himself a bit.

"Are you coming?" She asked, pushing him slightly forward. This time he didn't even nod, just did what was told. They walked up a stairs and he counted the steps and did the same with the hallway.

"We're in front of the door. We have room 409." He heard the wrecking sound of a un-oiled door. "It's pretty small, one large bed, a TV, two chairs , table, and a small bathroom." He received a gentle push and he stepped in. Slowly, feeling very disorientated he reached around, hoping to find the bed by himself.

And, thank god, he did. After a couple of shaky steps he felt the bed and sat down. He heard Lizz walk around him in the room placing some things down on the ground besides the bed.

"You think you're gonna be okay?" She asked zipping her jacket shut.

'No'. "Yeah, off course I will." He heard she doubted his answer in the way she was moving.

"Okay, then I'll be going, I have to check if El is alright." She pushed a jar in his hands. "If_ it_ comes back, take two pills. Not more than two, _understand_?"

"_No_, I think they drilled the brain too, can you please say it again." He kicked his boots off. "Owh, wait, maybe you should _write_ it down, wouldn't that be a dandy idea!"

Somehow he know her mouth dropped open. "Ha.Ha. You're to funny."

"Damn, right I am." He replied grinning. He heard her sigh and walk to the door. His heartbeat fasted up. 'Fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck!' "So when will you be back?" He tried to sound as uncaring as he possibly could.

"I dunno, can take some time. I don't know where El is and how bad his condition is. But I'll try to be back as soon as I can."

"Well, take your time luv, it's not like you have to baby-sit me!" He sneered. 'fucker, why did you say that! You don't want her to leave! IDIOT! Fuck! I don't want to be alone!'

"Okay…" She said opening the door. "Just remember, two pills."

"I _know_!" He snapped. "Don't be shocked and drop dead on the floor in surprise, but I _can_ count!"

"Right… Well, bye." He heard the door slam shut.

Uncomfortably he placed his legs on the bed. He pushed himself against the wall behind the bed and wished he knew the time. He reached out in his pocket and opened the cigarette pack. He noticed he was almost out of cigarettes and cursed, pushing the pack back into his pocket.

"Fucking peachy, now _I'm_ here stuck in a shitty motel while_ she's_ getting the fun of seeing El in pain." He moaned. "Life is a bitch." He placed his head against the wall and tried to relax.

After realising it didn't work he lighted one of his last cigarettes. 'She better buys me some cigarettes on her way back!'

'_Aww, poor Shelly, you really think she's coming back? That's so cute and naïve…' _

"Fuck you!" He rubbed his head. "She told me she would come back."

'_Shell, think! She can choose between El Mariachi, a legendary gunfighter. A man of his word, an honest and noble man. And then there is you. Mister idiotica. The guy who treats her like shit, tells her he hates her all the time, a man who doesn't give a shit about her. Now for what kind of guy would you choose, Shelly?' _

He froze. 'She wouldn't do that… she _couldn't_!'

'_Uhu, she would Shel. I'm sure she's sitting in the car right now, smiling and cheering, 'cause she dumped you. Must be a big relieve for her, having ditched the psychotic blind killing junk.'_

"_No_, she wouldn't do that. She's _not_ like that." With shaking fingers he placed the cigarette between his lips and inhaled deeply. "She wouldn't do that to me."

"_Right Sands… didn't you learn anything about people? They make you believe in them and when you're useless to them they move on and leave you behind. Or, they drill your eyes out…"_

"She _will _come back." He said, trying to convince the voice and himself.

"_Shell, why don't you listen to me anymore? I always said the right things. Where did it go wrong? Speaking of listening… I still need to punish you for disobeying me..."_

"NO!" He jumped up. "No _don't_! I'm sorry, I'll listen to you. Don't let the bad evil man come back!"

"_I'm afraid I don't have a chose dear Shelly. You need to get punished and your daddy really wants to see you again…" _

He felt himself getting cold. "No." He whispered.

"_No?" _It started to laugh. _"Shel, you think you have a chose in this!"_

"Yes." He felt around and found the jar. "I have."

It was silent for a second. _"Shel, if you take the pills you're weak, even lower then a junky." _

"I don't give a fuck, everything is better than let a voice in my head live my life!" Slowly he opened the jar and took the first pill. "See if you can get me after this fucker!" Right after that he took another pill.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz was on her way back from the hospital. The doctors had told her El was going to be okay. There was nothing important damaged, he only lost much blood. Therefore they wanted to keep him in the hospital for a few days.

Relieved about knowing El would be alright she park the car across the motel. She picked up a small leather purse she just bought together with the food and stepped out.

She said a fast 'hello' to the man at the counter and walked up the stairs. When she pushed the keys in the lock she took a deep breath. ' I swear if you start to yell at me right away I'm going to smack him!'. With that promise she pushed open the door.

A gasp escaped her lips when she saw the small table in the middle of the room in pieces. "God damn it Sands!" She yelled. "You're going to pay for that… as soon as you have any money!"

Muttering she walked in dropped the purse and picked up the pieces of the table. "_Jesus_, what did you do, _dive _into the damn thing!"

Angry she stood up with one of the table legs in her hand. "Can you at least say something." She turned around and looked through the room. She frowned when she didn't see Sands. "Sands?" She dropped the table leg. 'Owh jeez where is he!'

She looked under the bed and called a couple of times. But no answer. 'Shit! He wouldn't have gone away, right!' she thought walking to the bathroom door. She opened the door and switched the light on. Her eyes winded. "_SANDS_!"

A couple of steps in front of her he was laying on the floor shaking violently. She hurried to him and kneeled besides him. "Sands! Say something!" When she didn't receive an answer she slowly turned him around so he was facing her. "Sands, c'mon say something." Then her eyes focused on the jar in his right hand. The thing was half empty.

She held her hand in front of her mouth and started to shake Sands. "C'mon please wake up,_ please_ wake up!"

Slowly there came a small movement and he moaned softly.

'Thank god, he isn't in a coma.' She touched his forehead and noticed he was freezing. Again she shook him. "Sands can you hear me?"

His head turned a little to her and he nodded slowly. She smiled relieved. "You have to get to bed, you're dead cold."

He looked ashamed up to her. "I can't walk. Everything is spinning."

"That's okay, I'll help." She said gently. She placed her hand behind his head and behind his back. "Try to get up." He nodded and she pushed him up. Immediate he started to curse and stroke over his temple.

"How many pills did you take Sands?" She asked concerned.

He growled and looked angry up to her. "Can you not fucking talk so loud!" He pulled his knees up against his chest. "Now go away!"

Lizz looked at the man in front of her. He looked like total crap, very pale, hair a total mess and still shivering badly. "Sands, I'm not going away."

"Fuck you." His head lowered. "You just did. You left me here with _him_."

She bit her lip. "I'm sorry Sands I though-"

He interrupted her. "Don't _think_! It's not good for both of us." He tried to turn away from her, but was to sick to move. "Leave me alone."

'C'mon don't make me feel so guilty.' "Don't talk shit Sands." She kneeled beside him and grabbed his shoulder. "Get up."

A little shocked he glared at her. "I don't-"

"Shut up, listen to me and get up." She snapped, pushing against his shoulder. "I'm not letting you die here on the cold floor."

"No it's much better to die in a cosy warm bed." He muttered back, but surprisingly he moved and tried to get up. She used all her power to get him on his feet and almost lost her own balance.

"No this is _so_ much better." He sneered panting heavily. "Feeling your head explodes, _standing_, is a whole new experience…"

Lizz rolled with her eyes. "Can you _please_ keep that sarcastic comment for yourself, I'm trying to save your life here."

"And so far you're doing just a fabulous job…" Again his sarcasm wasn't to miss. Without saying anything, knowing it would only encourage his sarcasm, she pushed him forwards. He took a step and almost fell forwards. Just in time she could pull him back on his feet. "_Brilliant_, with your help I might get a fucking brain concussion, goody."

"Don't talk, just move." She ordered and pushed him forward again. This time he was able to walk until the door, but then suddenly stopped. "I think I need to puke." Before he could finish his line he throw up and Lizz looked away. For one last time he gagged and hold himself up against the wall. "Sorry." He whispered ashamed.

"That's okay." She said softly. He nodded obviously embarrass by his action. "Let's go."

She walked him to the bed and he lied down exhausted.

Lizz looks concerned at him. "How do you feel?"

"Like I got skullfucked with a shotgun." He mumbled back. "In case you missed my dedicated hint, that mean I feel like_ shit_."

Lizz choose to ignore his last snap at her and moved on to the next subject. "How many pills did you take?"

His head cocked up. "Does it matter? The damage is done, half of the stuff is out lying on the bathroom floor and…" He paused. "If you skip the vomiting and feeling dead sick part, it's almost a good thing." He pointed up. "I can _see_ colours right now. There're not very clear but they are there. I can_ see_. I see red and purple." He looked a little up. "And green and yellow." He turned to her. "Do you know how beautiful colours are?"

She bit her lip. "Sands…"

"No, don't hush me kid. You don't know how it is to be trapped in the dark. So don't nag about the pills, just fuck off!" To prove his point he crossed his arms.

"No you fuck off! I nearly got a heart-attack when I saw you laying half dead on the floor and I saved your life! So at least be _grateful_!"

"Grateful for what! Getting kicked up and dropped on a bed is not _half_ as cosy as I wanted!"

"I didn't kick you!"

"Alright missy precise! But you so_ did_ push me!"

"Yeah, to get you up, 'cause you have to much drugs in your blood that you're to fucked up to get up on your own!"

"I'm not that fucked up, right now, and don't copy my words!"

"They're not your words and _yes_ you're very fucked at the moment… fuckmook!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you too!"

"I'd love to!"

"That's _sick _Sands!"

"I _AM_ sick!"

"I meant it in the perverted kind of way!"

"Yes I get that, that's calls _sarcasm_, annoying little brat!"

"Don't call me names!"

"Or what! You're gonna tell your mommy!"

Silence.

Sands frowned. 'What the fight wasn't fun anymore?' " Hello, it's your turn, stay alert girly, could save your life one day."

"Don't talk about my mom!" She finally snapped after a very long pause.

'Owh gosh I hit the wrong button.' He grinned. "C'mon girly don't act so childish."

"I'm not acting childish!" There was some pain in her voice, funny how you could hear those small things after you had your eyes ripped out of your skull.

"And my 'mommy' wouldn't even give a shit if I was about to get hit by a truck, as long she had her drinks…" The bitterness in her voice wasn't to miss. It made him feel a little guilty.

"So you hate her then?" he asked a bit uncomfortable.

"No she's my _mom_… it's just..." A sight. "I dunno, she wasn't there for me, you know. If she just would have been a little more of a mother, I wouldn't have to be-"

Sands swallowed. "Here."

A pause. "No… be so grown up. I wanna be a normal girl. Since I was five or so I had to take care of myself, 'cause she was so god damn busy with drinking. I never could be a kid, or a teen."

Sands listened thinking back at his own youth. "Yeah, parents can be a bummer…"

**Strange and short ending I know, but I'm up to 3000 words and I wanna update! **

**Again, if ya wanna be my beta, PLEASE send me a mail! **

**Hope ya like the chap, and didn't think Sands was to Awwwww…**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	31. Morning torture

**Okay nog idea where this chapter is going. I made some kind of guidelines but I crossed them so many times… I do know there won't be many important thinks in it, just some humor.**

**Disclaim: Nop. Don't own Sands ore El. Lizz I do own. YAY!**

**Warning: It's not betad, sorry people. Don't hate me!**

**Chapter 31) Morning torture. **

It was pretty strange, Sands thought in the morning, laying on the bed his arms placed behind his head. He didn't feel that fucked up anymore. And last night had been rather pleasant. Both of them weren't in the mood to go asleep and after the girly had a couple of bullets there was no need to. The kid was so bouncy as a kangaroo after the stuff and talked so much he was afraid she would faint of the lack of oxygen.

While she was looking for the TV remote, he found out there was a minibar in the room. When he opened the door the girly immediately started to nag about his 'health'. But after a couple of minutes he 'convinced' her he was man enough to hold his drink. After exactly four minutes his body proved him the other way and he had to make another run to the bathroom, haunted by the evil laughter of the kid.

After that he walked pissed out of the bathroom and threw daggers at her with his glance. She manages to hold in her laugh just about he parked his ass back on the bed. She burst out in laughter and told him ,between the laughs, he was dragging along a stroke of toilet paper.

With a face ready to kill he pulled off the long piece of soft paper from under his feet and waited until the laughter stopped. Then he yelled so many cursed he was sure she had no idea what half of the stuff mend. Then a silent fell, but only for a second. She giggle and dared to said: 'You look kind of cute when you're screaming shit.'

He was stunned, restore quick, smirked and threw a pillow at her head. Rest of the time they talked. Well, mostly she did the talking part, he listened and made a couple of sarcastic comments ore sneering remarks.

Sands grinned listening to the steady breathing of the girly laying next to him. 'And she was the one telling me I wouldn't make it throw the night without falling asleep.' He shifted a little her side. 'Wouldn't it be a peachy idea to kick her out bed?' He sat up. "No, that's to easy.'

He got up, his head pounding a little, and walked into the bathroom. There he tries to remember where he puked and cursed himself for not wearing shoes. "Fucking Christ, where did these people dropped the loo, I got to piss like a-"

"_SANDS_!" A defiantly to load voice screeched throw the motel room. "When you use bathroom, close the fucking door!"

'Well, so much for sleeping beauty.' He shrugged. "Mind your own god damn bushiness, and quite using the word_ fuck_, that's my stile!" He kicked with his feet against the toilet, took a relieve breath and unzipped his paint.

"SANDS!" Again the sounds of her voice screeched throw the room, this time angry. "Close that door immediately!"

"What, where you razed by the Amish ore something! Scared you might see something _interesting_?" His voice is mocking and challenging.

"GOD DAMN IT SANDS!" He hears her snoring. "You pervert sick little man!"

He smirks. "Can't hear you, I'm pissing." There were some loud and frustrated cursed from out of the room, a couple of stamping feet's and a slamming door. Filled with joy he zipped his paint up and walks back into the room, without stepping in his own puke.

"_Jerk_!" Was the first thing he got thrown at his head, quickly followed by a empty can of bullet. The thing nearly hit him.

"Little bit catty are we now?" He smiled after picking up the can and threw it back in her direction.

No answer.

"Owh right. Like not talking will work with me, sugar. I used to torture people, do you even think you might have the strength to ignore me?"

Again silent.

He sighted. "Okay, try to ignore me. Then I just have to find some stuff that can entertain me in the meantime, don't I?" He looked questioning around. "What to do? What to do?" He scratches his head. "Owh wait, why not drink the whole minibar. That's something El would be _glade_ with when he sees the bill. Ore I could just start to nag you to dead until you simply beg me to stop. And believe me I can nag people to the edge. That reminds me… I once had to make a man talk, owh boy did I nag that one crazy… then off course that was also because I slowly broke the man's fingers. One by one. _Slowly_ and so _painful_, that sound… it's sounds about like this-"

"_OKAY_! I'll talk!" She hissed frustrated and partly disgusted. "JESUS! No need to come up with that sick kind of stuff!"

Again a wicked smirked filled his face. "Who said anything about making things up."

A long pause, followed by a long 'iewww!' Then the sound of the tv.

'Strange, she's not even that shocked anymore.' He walked up to the bad and parked his ass down. "So, now what?"

"Now, what, what?"

He glared at her. "Now, what are we ganna do so we won't die of boredom."

"Well, _I'm_ ganna watch tv." She answered, sounding very bitchy. " You're a _ass_, I don't care what you're going to do."

He rose up a eyebrow. "Do I have to remember you what I just said." He made a small cracking sound. "Do you want me to get _detailed_?"

Again a silent followed by a long 'iewww!'. A movement from the bed and a sight. "Okay I'll think of something you can do…. Any requests?"

"As long as it's not hide and seek…" He sneered.

Lizz rolled her eye's. "Did anyone ever told you how annoying you are in the morning?"

"Yeah, once, I shot the asshole."

Lizz jumped of the bed into her shoes. "How _very_ you, Sands." She looked throw the motelroom. Her eye's stopped on the bathroom door. "You know, if you're so despaired to do something you can go clean the bathroom."

His head cocked to the bathroom and he looked a little disgusted. "No fucking way, I'm not a maid!"

Lizz pictured him with a pink skirt and a brush, and couldn't help it but grin. "Well you puked the damn thing over for two times!" She snapped back. "So you clean it up! I'm not ganna sit here in the smell of you're puke for the next day's!"

"To bad for you, I ain't cleaning it up, missy!"

"You so are ganna clean it up, mister!"

"No! You made me talk the fucking pills! I got _sick_ because of _you_!"

"Don't try to blame me Sands! I told you to take two pills not the whole jar!"

"I didn't take the whole jar, don't be such a drama queen!"

"Am not!"

"Yes you _are_, lill' miss-scream-a-lot."

"At leased I don't die half of the time in self pity, like some people!"

"_Fuck_ you!"

"Fuck you tw-… Bugger off!" She throw daggers at him when he started to laugh. "Don't be so full of yourself." She whispered so softly he couldn't hear her. She looked throw the room again the floor was filled with empty packing of candy, cans and other stuff she bought in the shop.

"You know I'm not ganna live for ever." It sounded from next to her. Annoyed she turned around to looked right into the dark glasses. She stared at the man in front of her. Again she questioned herself how he had looked with eye's. Would he looked even colder, more deadlier when he was about to hurt ore kill someone. And how would he be if he had still his eye's? Would he have killed her if he met her? Ore would he not even had cared how she was and used her to get to the money? She thought often about those things, not daring to asked, not only afraid for his reaction but more scared of the answer.

"Why are you looking at me like I come from mars?" he said. She realised she was still staring at him. Suddenly she smiled.

"I think I have a fun idea."

…

"No _fucking_ way!" The door slammed shut.

"Owh, c'mon Sands! Don't be a baby!" the girly yelled from out of the motelroom.

"Baby! I'm a baby! Fuck you! You really think I would freely let someone near me with a razor sharp scissor wile I can't see the fuckmook!"

"Sands, it's only a freaking haircut! And where not even going to a salon, I'll cut you're hair."

"Then I'll correct me. You think I will let you near me with a razor sharp scissor! NO FUCKING WAY! You're even clumsier then fucking Goofy!"

"Thanks a lot, you know just how to make a women feel _special_." She knocked on the door. "No get out of the bathroom ore I call the manager!"

"Yeah right! Like that's a good idea, you really want to get thrown out of this motel!" He yelled back. He smirked when he didn't received a comeback. "Good girly, learn how to shut you're mouth."

"Owh, run against a wall!" She pouted.

He growled, kicked open the door and pulled out his gun. "Don't mock me kid!"

"Don't point a gun at me." He heard her shift a little. Fast he switched the safety off.

"Got a dead wish girly? _Don't_ move." He heard her stop moving and took a couple steps forward. "You better be scared right now, kiddo."

'So that's what he wants.' Lizz thought. 'Thinking he's still the one in control. He wants to think I'll jump if he says it.' She looked at the gun. "I'm not you're dog you know. I don't do what you say if I don't want to." She crossed her arms. 'Good one Lizz!'

He took another few steps, coming very close. "See that's where you're wrong. I have the gun, see? That means _I'm_ the one in control.

'Sands you're starting to get predictable.' She smiled. " You have a gun, _yes_. But will you shoot? _No_."

She saw him turn dark.

"Don't be so sure, kid." He pushed the gun up, now only a few inches from her face. Coldly she looked at the shining metal.

"You think this will work Sands? Every time I do something you don't like treating me like this? Let me tell you it wont work. So just stop it! I'm so freaking tired of this game!" She pushed the gun away from her face. "If you want me to do ore don't do something just ask, I'm not a _thing_ ore one of you're people who'll run immediately when you order something." She looked at the reflection of herself in the glasses. A very angry and also curious girl looked at her, waiting for his reaction.

He frowned and looked down. He opened his mouth to close it again. Suddenly his head cocked up and he grabbed her by the upper side of her shirt. "You are the most annoying, nagging, rattling person I ever met!"

She rose a eyebrow and placed her hand in her side. "Like you score any better."

He pushed her a little up, but not that high she would hang in the air. "Not my point."

"What is you're point then, other than calling me names." She asks.

"My point is, we're annoying each other since the second you picked me up from the street and kicked-"

"I never _kicked_ you!" Lizz yells mad. "Quit making things up!"

She got pushed a little bit higher, now standing on her toes, arguing with herself if she was going to kick him now.

"See, Lizzy-O, that's _exactly_ what I mean, you can't get you're pretty little mouth shut for three seconds before yelling, screaming ore shouting. That _bugs_ me much, _very_ much. And since I'm not the best in self-control, as you already knew, you could try to be a little more like a normal girl and _shut_ you're_ fucking_ mouth when I'm pissed!"

"Well you also could try to be a little more like a normal person, Sands. It's pretty hard to live with a guy who threatens you twenty-four hours a day. And almost every time I leave you alone, you try to kill yourself! Do you have any idea how scared I am _because_ of you!" She wrapped her hands around Sands wrist. "Now let me go!"

Amazingly he let her loose. She rubbed over her neck. "Now, what?"

He shrugged. "Let's try to compromise."

Lizz frowned. "'Bout what?"

Sands sighted. "Christ, at leased_ try_ to keep up a little, you stupid little…" He paused. "I mend about the hairdo, remember that smartass." He stroke throw is sticky hair. "You can cut my hair, but, after I'll cut yours."

Lizz started to laugh. "Yeah right! Like I would let you even _touch_ my hair!"

"_Finn_." This time he smiled. "Then we just sit here, being bored, then I'll talk about every little_ detail_ of my little torture events..."

Quickly Lizz tried to push away the horribly images. "Okay, okay, I'll let you cut my hair. BUT, if you totally ruin my hair, I'm going to hurt you big time mister!"

"There are no word to express my fear right now, girly." He answer, the sarcasm impossible to miss.

She rolled her eye's. "C'mon let's go before I changes my mind. Ore _you_ chicken out." She grabbed his wrist and before he could protest she dragged him to the bathroom. She placed one of the chairs in the middle of the bathroom. "Sit down, and take you're shirt out." She ordered.

He grinned. "Girly's getting little bit _kinky_ ehy? I knew you couldn't resist me." Slowly he unbuttoned his shirt.

Lizz looked at him in disgusted. " You have no idea how much I mean the word '_iewww_' right now…" She walked back into the room and picked out the scissors from her purse. Back in the bathroom Sands sad shirtless on the chair.

"Owh, look what a good little boy." She cheered.

"Shut it, ore I'll smack you." He growled.

Smiling she walked pass him until she stood behind him. "So what will it be sir? Braids, bold, little bit punk, you name it."

"Shut up. Just a little bit shorter then it is now. Just a bit above my shoulders. And _don't_ screw it up, else I'm ganna mess you're hair up for good!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, not screw it up." A bit agitated she started to comb his hair, what didn't work out that well. "God you're hair is tangled, when was the last time you comb you're hair?"

"Shut up." He spit.

She rolled her eye's. "Alight, jeez, no need to get so uptight!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

After a half hour Lizz looked proudly at the result. Not only did she manages to cut his hair unto perfect, but also got him so far to let her shave him.

"You have no idea how must better you look right now!" She cheered clapping her hands.

Stiffly Sands stood up from the chair. "Guess I'll never know. I'm BLIND remember."

She glared at him. "Sands don't _kill_ the moment." She throw his shirt at him. "Where done."

With one fast motion he catches the shirt and grinned at her. "No fucking way, girly, now it's you're turn for the chair!"

**Like I said before, nothing very drastic happens in this chap. Still I'm prêt happy with the result. The only thing I'm a little worried about is, if Sands is getting OOC, if do, say it please. **

**That was all, gatta stop, school about half hour… the evil motherf-**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	32. Living on the edge

**Chapter 32) Living on the edge.**

He stared dreamy at the white wall across him. 'How did I get here?' A little bit worried he looked through the room. Three other white walls, a sink in the corner and a small bed, which he was lying on. He tried to get up, stopped immediately when pain shot through his shoulder. 'I was hit.' His eyes grew wide. 'Where is the ninã?'

Footsteps approached. Fast he closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door opened and someone walked in. 'If it's one of the Cartels, I'm dead', he realised.

"El señor Guezõ, cómo usted se siente?" A cheerful womanlike voice said. Slowly he opened one eye. A nurse stood in front of him, smiling merry at him. She has black curly hair bond up in a knot and her eyes were a dark brown.

Now very confused El looked at the nurse. "Huh?" 'What did she just call me?'

A worried frown appeared on the woman her face. "Senõr Guenzõ, Usted es bien?"

El blinked his eyes and managed to smile. "Bueno, señora."

The woman smiled again. "Usted es sobrina está aquí al visite usted, señor"

Utterly confused he stared at the woman. "_Sobrina_?"

"Si, señor, es sobrina." The nurse smiled. "Iré la obtengo."

As the nurse walked of, El scratched his head. 'What is that nurse talking about? What niece? I don't even _have_ a niece. And why did she calls me Guezõ? Why am I here in the first place!' He had no time to think about it. The door shot open and a dark-brown headed girl ran into the room.

"Uncle!" The girl screamed, ran up to him and hugged him. "Yo le he perdido!" She cheered, while hugging him. "Please try to act as if you're seeing your little niece again, El, I'm trying to make a convincing show!" She whispered in his ear. Slowly she let him go and turned to the nurse, standing in the doorway.

"Da las gracias para hacerlo salud otra vez!" The girl said gratefully to the nurse. The woman smiled and closed the door. The girl turned around. "Well El, so far your acting talents."

El stared stunned at the girl. "_Lizz_?"

The girl rolled with her eyes. _"Dhu_! Did you think I would let your real niece get you out of the hospital!" She sat beside him on the bed. "Aren't I smart?"

El was still stunned. "What did you do to your hair?"

She giggled and stroke through her short brown hair. "Sands and I had a compromise and I dyed it so I would look like your niece. Don't worry I'll pay you back for the paint."

"Why is it so short? You look more like a _boy_ than a girl, right now." El said looking at the short hair.

"Hey, that's not my mistake, Sands and a scissor is just no good match. I have to say I'm surprise I still have some hair left." She sighed. "_Anyway_, we have to get out of here, I left Sands at the car and I don't think it is a very smart idea to leave him there in the public."

El could only nod and wondered why she brought Sands here in the first place.

"Good, let's go." The girl jumped up and started to search through her purse. "Here's your wallet."

Slowly he took it and got up. It's wasn't as easy as he had hoped it to be, but at least his arm didn't hurt much. The girl already opened the door and looked from side to side sneaky.

"The hallway is clear, let's go!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

They managed to get into the elevator without getting caught. El leaned against the iron wall and panted. Walking and running was still a little bit hard. "So 'niece', why the rush al of a sudden?"

She rose an eyebrow. "El, you've been here for three days, I don't think my step dad will wait until you're better, there is something with evil man and health, they just don't wait."

El glared at her. "Please don't get as sarcastic as Sands is, _práctico_, I don't think I'm strong enough for two of them."

"Well, the guy gets at your nerves if you been in the same room with him for three days. I swear he just kills your sanity."

"Now you mention it, is he still acting so…" El ticked against his temple.

She looked a bit shocked. "No, he's okay, right now, I _think_."

"That doesn't sounds very good, ninã." El frowned when the elevator stopped. "Never mind let's get going."

Lizz nodded and the door slid open.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

They also managed to get out of the hospital without having someone getting killed. The girl giggled relieved when they sneaked out of the backdoor of the hospital. El growled something, holding his arm, not feeling happy at all. The girl looked questioning at him.

"I'm alright." He muttered. "Just a little dizzy."

She smiled relieved and placed an arm around his good one. "We're almost there, just this street." She insured him.

The 'almost' part wasn't entirely right if you asked El. It took them almost twenty minutes to get to the car. But the cause of that could also be the fact he had to rest every now and then.

"We're here." The girl said finally.

El growled something not even sure what it was himself, a thank you or a curse. It didn't matter at that point all he wanted was to get in the car and sleep. Bravely he stumbled into the direction of the car.

'_BWAMN'_

There was a shot and a bullet hardly missed his foot. El jumped up, cursed when his arm hit the wall.

"Don't _fucking_ move, Haga no joder mueve, who every you are." Sands slowly walked out of an ally across the car. His face didn't show any emotion. "Get your sissy ass against that wall and you_ might_ survive."

Shocked for the third or fourth time that day El looked into the barrel of the gun.

"Sands it's okay, it's me." The girl next to him hushed.

Still the gun did not lower. Sands frowned and now looked into her direction. "What's for dinner?"

Now El frowned. 'What the…?'

The girl seemed not surprised by Sands' question. "Nothing, you killed the cook."

Now the gun lowered and Sands smiled relieved. "Damn right, I did." With one skilful manoeuvre he put his gun back between his belt. "Now get your ass in the car girly, I've been waiting here over an hour and I'm almost out of cigarettes."

She walked up to the car and sniggered. "And how did you do that? You had _half _a pack when I left."

"Smoking makes the time go faster." To prove his point he lighted up a cigarette.

The girl shrugged, rolled her eyes and turned to El. "Are you alright?" He nodded slowly, not very sure himself. But the girl didn't see his doubts and walked to the car.

'I'm still not sure, or she's crazy or very stupid.' El thought opening the car door. 'She just keeps following a madman, a man who isn't scared to kill whole Mexico…But maybe I'm crazy, because I'm following her…'

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

"So, girly, where are we going?" Sands asked, shifting a little uncomfortable on his car seat. El had fallen asleep, or passed out, a little while ago. The only sound in the car was a soft Spanish song on the radio and the heavy breathing of the man laying on the backseat.

"Well, I have no idea really. I just want to get out of that city, you never know if there was someone watching us. Okay, whole town was watching you when you started to curse at that guy when you thought he looked funny at you..."

"That was just a small mistake, how could I have known the man was a police man trying to find a drug dealer!"

"Yeah, right, you might think about a self-control-class , if it was not for my fabulous acting talent you would've been in jail right now."

"_Talent_! You told the guy I was your mentally insane brother! That got nothing to do with acting, kiddy, that's just lying!"

"_Excuse_ me!" She yelled surprised. "But you _are_ mentally insane! So I didn't lie the whole time!"

He smirked at her. "Not insane, just living on the edge, Lizzy-O."

"Yes, the edge of your sanity!"

He made a face. "Shut up."

**This chapter is very short, I know, but for the moment I'm a little out of ideas. **

**So please review!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**

**La translation: El señor Guezõ, cómo usted se siente- Good morning mister Guezõ, how are you feeling?**

**Senõr Guenzõ, Usted es bien?",** -**are you alright?**

"**Bueno, señora."- I'm okay. **

"**Usted es sobrina está aquí al visite usted, señor"- You're niece is here to visite you. **

"**Si, señor, es sobrina."- Yes, you're niece**

"**Iré la obtengo." – I'll go get her. **


	33. Promise

**Warning, Sands is getting soft :p and about the ending it's a bit bout Lizz' past, so might be a little hares… You'll see. **

**Chapter 33) Promise. **

It'd been over a week. The three of them had moved from shitty motel to shittier motel. El was almost back to normal and had taken over the car. Something that pissed off Sands, because he wanted _her_ to drive and not _dumbasse_. After a long (too long if you asked Lizz) fight El'd finally won and drove every day with absolutely no clew where to go. They still had to come up with a plan, but since every information about the money was gone, her laptop and MP3 player, the little hope of getting the money and run to the other end of the world, had died.

Lizz looked through the window moody, supporting her head on her hand. She was counting the cactuses and tried to fight the urge to smack Sands, who was repeating the same line over and over again: _'Are we there yet? I'm fucking bored.'_

From the corner of her eyes she glanced at El. He was ticking stressed on the leather wheel and looked about to shoot Sands. She smiled slightly and turned around, just in time to stop Sands, saying _'it'_ again.

"Sands?" She started.

Sands had already opened his mouth to ask the question again and nag El to dead. A little insulted by her cut off he looked at her. "What the fuck do you want?"

"A McChicken, French fries and a milkshake, but I don't think that's in it for today." She rolled her eyes. "But you acting a little bit nicer would do just fine, thank you."

One eyebrow rose. "Fuck you."

"Sands shut your mouth." El snapped, clearly on the edge of his self-control. Not to strange, the man was driving non-stop since nigh AM. And with Sands in the back of your car it was very hard to not to stop the car and set the thing on fire.

"_Why_?" Sands said.

"Because you're driving me nuts." El snapped back.

"No, fuckshit, _why_ do you think I would listen!" A smiled appeared on his face as he shifted a little.

Lizz couldn't help but giggle. Sometimes he could be so god damn sarcastic and annoying it was just plain funny. Off course that wasn't the case if you were the one he was nagging to.

Sands smiled proudly at her while El throw daggers at her thought the window. She saw it, bit her lip and turned away.

It was silent in the car for about two minutes.

"El…." Sands started.

"_WHAT_!"

"I got the feeling you're a little stressed, am I right?"

No answer, Lizz looked up from her cactus counting championship and looked at El. The mans jaws were jammed and his hands were clutched around the wheel.

"_Right_!" Sands repeated.

A long sight from El, probably counting to ten. "Yes, I am! And you know why!"

"I've got my theories…."

"Because you are trying to get under my skin since the moment you stepped back into this car!" El hit the brakes and the car stopped. "And if you don't knock that off now, you can walk from here!"

Lizz cocked from El back to Sands.

"Like I said, a bit stressed. Wouldn't it be a good idea to get the girly behind the wheel so you can get your nerves back?"

"No." El snapped.

"Why not?"

"_Because!_."

"That's not half an answer and not close to an excuse."

"Shut up."

"What? I _did_ make a good point!"

"I also did when I said to throw you out of the car. Now shut up before I set my plan into action!"

When Sands was about to say something again, Lizz poked him between the ribs. Sands thankfully didn't make a fuss, but just grinned. He laid back, putting his good arm between his head and the seat. "Lizzy-O what time is it?"

She looked at her watch. "Almost nine PM."

He nodded. "Okay." He seemed a bit relaxed. For the first time since she helped El escape from the hospital. He hadn't like doing that, she knew that. In the morning he had been stressing about everything that could possibly go wrong. And he had been so pissed about the fact _he_ had to guard the car. _"I'm form the fucking CIA, I'm not gonna guard a god damn car!"_. She knew he was grateful that he didn't have to come anywhere near the hospital, but that she was the one getting into the fire line, he hadn't liked at all. Of course he didn't say it, he was to cool to say a thing like that. But when she was about to walk to the hospital he'd given her a concerned look. _"If you get the feeling someone is following you, get your ass back to the car, savvy!" _He then came op with a lame line she had to say to check if it was safe. _"What's for dinner?"_ He'd ask and she would have to answer,_ "Nothing you killed the cook."_ If it was save.And if she got followed or a gun pressed against her head she had to say: _" Tequila with lime and puerco pible."_ Sometimes Sands could be really smart…

She yawned and rubbed her eyes. 'Strange, how tired you can get from only sitting in a hot car all day.' She blinked. "Guys, I'm gonna sleep." She put out her jacket and fold it into a pillow. She placed the pillow on Sands shoulder and laid down. She felt him tense.

"Lizz…"

She rolled her eyes. "What?"

He pushed her off. "What the fuck is this!"

Sulky she sat up and fold the jacket back into a pillow. "Trying to get asleep, duh."

"Yes, I noticed that already." A short pause. "But since when does that have to include _me_!"

"Sands, please, I've been sitting in the car for days. It's starting to get to me. My feet are falling off, I need room to sleep so the least thing you can do is be my pillow!" She placed the pillow back on his shoulder and put her head on it. "Please, I wanna sleep, kay?"

He growled something. "Fine, if that will shut your fucking mouth."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

The girl had fallen asleep very quickly. He listened to her eased breathing and felt the warmth of her body against his shoulder. Pretty strange, 'when did I go from 'scary fucker with a gun' to 'cuddly pillow'? This is very twisted… And at some point very frightening. Maybe I'm losing my gift to scare off every person alive. Frustrating, _very_ frustrating.'

But still… He turned his head an inch to her direction. He didn't like to think it but he liked the kid. She was half as crazy as he was, didn't complain about, well, about everything. And she didn't make him feel like he was that evil cold-blooded killer. She even made him feel good about himself. Like he was needed. Off course that was a lie, the girly had El, a legend and a very good gunfighter. And the guy wasn't as insane as he was. So in everything , compared to El, he scored low, lower, lowest. Still she was sleeping against _his _shoulder.

He started to lose track of time. It really nagged him. He wasn't even capable to look at his watch. He had to ask the time or guess. He listened and concentrated very hard. The radio was playing softly. He heard El's fingers thumb on the wheel following the rhythm of the music. He couldn't help but grin. Man, had he pissed off El. He liked that, always had. Not just El, although that was his favourite victim, but everybody that came on his path. It was one of his ways to claim power. To be the one in control.

'And now it's my only way to keep power.' He thought bitter. He moved his shoulder a little, not wanting to wake her up. If it wasn't for El he would have placed his arm around her. Stupid fuckshit, there was no way he would let him see him being nice.

Listening and hoping he was annoying El's ass off, he lighted a cigarette. To his pleaser he heard the man behind the wheel growl. He inhaled deeply before sending the smoke out to El, at least at his direction. The girly started to cough and shook her head a little. He sighted. 'Sure missy 'lung cancer' has to make a show…' He inhaled one more time and pressed out the cigarette on the edge of the door. 'Happy now fucker?' He thought hearing El mutter. 'Good little me is quiet now, good little boy I am…' He shifted a little to the right, leaning against the door and window.

'Damn I wish I could see right now…' He clutched his jaws, not wanting to show the world any emotion. 'It would be so god damn good to see. To _see_ this fucking country, the car, the girly even seeing El would be good.'

Suddenly the car stopped and he cocked up. "What's going on!" He didn't care to sound paranoid.

El turned off the car. "It's late, the closest city is hours from here and I'm tired. We're staying here tonight."

"No _fucking_ way!" He snapped. "We're in the big bright open, every fuckshit can shoot us down! I didn't save your ass to get killed myself!"

"_You_ didn't safe me, that little girl saved my life. You did nothing, except almost shooting my foot off. So shut up and get to sleep."

"No way I'm letting you do this El!" With his right arm he pulled out his gun. "Drive, fuckmook!"

"No." The man moved. "And put your gun down, I don't think Lizz will appreciate it if you shoot my head off."

He cursed. "That's blackmailing, low piece of shit."

"That's life." After that the mariachi switched off the radio and the car went quiet.

'If only I could shoot him,' Sands prayed. Or torture him a little… just a _little_… A sight. Well _sweet-cheeks_ here would hate me for that. I should have killed El before she got all friendly with him! Again a sight.

El started to snore and he started to have the terrible urge to hit him on the head, with something hard or pointy, or both.

But finally he doze off . He didn't remember what he dreamed about exactly. All he knew it wasn't a dream about a razor sharp drill or a fucked up childhood. Anyway, half way in the dream someone started to poke and kick him. His brain told him to open his eyes, like every god damn time and he quickly realised he couldn't. He frowned and grabbed an arm right before it would hit him.

"Don't fucking_ touch_ me!" The arm got pulled free and someone backed away from him very fast. "Never touch me again_ freak_!"

It took lesser than a second to figure out who was next to him. "_Lizz_? What are you fucking about?"

"You where touching me while I was asleep, you sick bastard! Never do that or I will… I will…"

His mouth dropped. She didn't think he would… Like he would even consider to… "Lizz don't talk shit." He shifted a little closer toward her. This made her only winch back.

"_Don't_ get any closer!" She hissed, sounding more scared than freighting. "Leave me alone!" She sounded stressed and scared. He didn't get it, what was wrong? He didn't do anything to her. Yeah, he placed his arm around her, but so what! He tried to focus and figure our where she sat. He heard her breath very fast and shaky. He reached out his arm to find her.

She gave a soft yelp. Before he knew it he felt cold air sliding along his face and she was gone.

He swallowed and focused on the opened door. Why does she have to make a fuss about this? Jesus _fucking_ Christ, it was just a _arm_ around her. I don't want to know what she did when she got her first kiss… He couldn't help but smirk. She probably nagged the guy to dead. He shook his head and stepped out. "Better get her back before she gets eaten by coyotes."

Standing outside the car he again got that terrifying feeling of being vulnerable. And he didn't like it.

'Better get this over quickly. If El finds out I made her run away, he'll get pissed and I _might_ have to shoot him.' He sighed. 'Okay just find little girly.'

He counted the steps and walked in a straight line, at leased he hoped he was. "Lizz!" He yelled a couple of times, but no answered.

'Where is the kid?' he question himself. She wouldn't be that stupid to run off for real right? Her daddy-o, her _real_ daddy-o, was Mexican so she must know the dangers of the desert. Suddenly he heard her breathing. She couldn't be far away.

"LIZZ!" He yelled. "Get your ass _here_!"

"NO!" Was the defying answer. "Go away."

He walked up to the place where her voice was. "Don't talk shit, you'll freeze to death."

"I don't care!" Her voice was furious. "Leave me _alone_!"

He growled. 'Since when did she hit puberty!' He duck forwards and grabbed her wrist. He felt her tense and she let out a scream. She beat her fist against his hand, trying to get loose.

But Sands wasn't in the mood to play games. In one fast movement he grabbed her fist. He then grabbed her both wrists into one hand, so the other was free. "Cut that out before I'm gonna hurt you for real."

She didn't say anything but kicked against his shin and wiggled with her arms.

Sands, not close to impressed, sighted. "_Fine_, have it your way…" He pushed her down with his free arm, so she couldn't kick him again. Then he kneeled beside her. He heard her curse. "Now tell me what's your fucking problem! You wake me up in the middle of the night, start to kick me and then run off! What the_ fuck_ is that about!"

She was quiet, then started to sob. "You _touched_ me. Just like _he_ always did when I was alone." He felt her shiver. "Always when I was asleep. I couldn't even lock the god damn door!" She burst out into tear. "I _hated_ it, I _hate_ him! I whished he was _dead_, just so he would leave me alone…" She sobbed and his grip eased.

An anger as never before rose into him. That fucking low piece of shit. He was so going to pay for this, even if it was the last thing he did. That fucker was going to pay, pay a _very_ high price.

He heard her cry and he hated that even more. 'Killing him won't make it go away.' He thought about it, he killed his own daddy-o, but the memories still hunted him. But what else could he do, except killing? He was blind. He was build to kill and there was nothing more to it. Everything he had ever learned was about manipulation, torturing and control. And that had always been enough, 'til now.

Slowly he let her loose completely and stroke over her cheek. 'God, I'm so going to suck at this…' He felt her look up to hem. Probable with large frightened eyes, questioning what he was going to do next. "Sssh, girly it's gonna be okay."

"_No,_ it's not." She sobbed. "He will find me, I just know that. You don't know what he's capable of."

"You're right, I don't know that. But I do know were _I'm_ capable of. And Lizzy, believe me if that guy ever comes _near_ you again I'm going to hurt him so fucking much."

"You promise?" She whispered. He nodded.

"One pain of dead." Without a warning she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head against his chest. Normally if people even tried to be so touchy it would mean the dead penalty, but he decided to make an exception this time. He pushed her closer and stroke through her short brown hair. "It'll be al right, I _promise_."

**Don't flame me for making Sands a nice guy okay. Once again, that won't happen to often. Okay it's more of a 'never again' deal but don't kill the moment. I like Sands if he's nice. But I like him even more when he's his own sarcastic, ignorant, annoying, trigger-happy self. So three times guessing what will happen sooner or later…**

**Luzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	34. Tequila shots

**Ok, this chap got his ups and his downs. Bit like my life:P**

**Me-Loves-Orlie, yer da bestest beta/friend/reader/reviewer and femmate of da world! Luv ya! Long live april 7:D:D:D:D**

**Chapter 34) Tequila shots. **

El blinked his eyes. Slowly and yawning he got up and realised he had slept on the backseat of the car. Indigent he looked around and was about to yell something at Sands. But Sands wasn't there, just as the girl. He sat up completely and while looking around his mouth dropped open.

The car was parked right in front of a bar. Lights in twenty different colours twinkled everywhere and people walking by seemed very happy.

El frowned. He was sure he had parked along the road, somewhere in the middle of the dessert. And back then it had been night. Now it was... he looked up at the sun... Well somewhere in the early morning.

'Where did the gringo go and what had he done with the ninã?' El was about to open the car door and storm out when he saw Sands and Lizz walk out the bar.

Well, walking wasn't the correct word. Sands was waving with his arms so extremely he almost hit some bystanders in the face. Fast he grabbed a lantern while spinning on his feet.

"He's dead drunk." El muttered determent. He rolled his eyes and watched the girl standing next to Sands. She was holding her belly from laughter. Her cheeks were flushed red and she wasn't standing very straight either. "He got a little girl drunk!" His eyes narrowed and he kicked open the door.

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing!" He yelled furiously at Sands.

Both, he and the girl, turned into his direction. The girl looked a bit hazy out of her eyes and started to wave at him in an oddly way. Sands, still holding the pole like his life dependent on it, grinned.

"Right this moment?" He pointed giddy at the pole. "I'm trying to stay standing and not barf out two and a half bottle of tequila." After that speech the girl started to giggle loudly, now also grabbing the pole, to support herself.

El could only stare in anger and disbelieve at the agent. "You got a young girl _drunk_!" His voice sounded surprised and furious.

Sands made a wild gesture. "Don't talk shit El, I didn't do anything…" Quickly he pulled himself back on his feet when he was about to fall forward. "Okay, I might gave her a drink… _okay _four tequilas. But I got a reassemble excuse..." He shook his head. "At leased I had one around midnight before all the drinks…" He turned to the girl. "Lizz, I did make a good point back then, right?"

The girl, half way of to dreamland, suddenly noticed she was suppose to react. She smiled at El. "_Yeah_, he did… It was…" She rubbed her head. "Owh right! He said it was important to learn how to drink tequila… and he got so pissed when the bartender didn't want to give me any, only because I was a little bit too young." She sighed in disbelieve.

El looked from drunk to drunk. "What logic is it to piss of a bartender by making a girl drink!"

It was Sands who answered the question. " That's keeping the balance. And don't worry she's a cheap drunk, after two she started to get dizzy. So we didn't spend all your money."

El felt in his pocket. No wallet. Furious he looked up. "You spend _MY_ money on tequila!"

Sands rose a hand. "Not _all _your money…"

"That's it! I'm going to shoot you!" El grabbed Sands by his shoulder and dragged him towards the car, the girl following on her own. El pushed Sands against the car and grabbed both his wrists in one hand. "Where is my wallet!"

Sands seemed to notice El was a bit more then just pissed. "She has it." El turned around and looked ready to kill, Lizz immediately pulled out his wallet. El let Sands go. Without the support El had been giving him the agent fell forward and landed on the sandy road. "_Ouch_."

In the meantime El had grabbed the wallet and Lizz. He dragged her to the car, pushed the wallet in his pocked and opened the door. He lifted the girl and throw her in the car, earning a couple of furious curses. The mariachi rolled his eyes, grabbed Sands by his shirt and tossed him into the car as well. After hearing his curses and dead threats he slammed the door shut.

El sighed and looked around. Half of the villages were staring at him. "What are you looking at!" He growled and jumped in the car. He started the car and looked into the revues mirror. Sands as the girl 'looked' at him, both ready to say something.

"Don't even think about it. The first one who _dares_ to say anything will get brutally killed." Both of them closed their mouth and turned away.

That made El feel slightly better about the situation and he drove of.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

They were driving for about a half hour and none of them had spoken yet. El stared, still mad, at the road. Sometimes he blinked and looked at the two people in the back. Sands, had fallen asleep against the window. And the girl started to see very pale and was ticking nervously with her nails against the glass.

"El…" She started softly.

"I say no-one could talk!" He snapped back.

"But El.." She wined.

"No _but_, shut up!"

Sands seemed to be awake again. El saw him sit up and look at the girl. "El I think it would be a smart thing to listen to what she had to-"

"No, _shut up_, both of you!"

It was quite for three seconds. Suddenly the girl hit him on his shoulder. "EL, STOP THE FREAKING CAR!" El jumped and the car made a half spin before it stopped. Immediately the girl jumped out and ran to the nearest bushes.

"What's her problem?" El snapped, stepping out.

"What do you think _fuckshit_? First time drunk." Sands followed El. "What does that include?" He paused. "Yes, feeling like shit and puke. Good thinking almighty El."

After a couple of seconds the girl walked back, very pale and very cranky. "I'll never drink _ever _again. This sucks!"

Sands started to laugh and tapped on her shoulder. "Don't act like a sissy. You'll be alright… after a couple of hours." Sulky she pushed his arm away.

"Shut up, you're the reason I feel so bad. The leased you can do is act like you're sorry…"

"_Sorry_! Luv, I'm a psychopathic killer. Sorry is not in my dictionary. And what's wrong with livin' up you're world a little?"

She glared at him. "Living it up! I feel like _dying_! And are you very sure 'sorry' isn't in your dictionary?" A playful smile appeared on her face. "I can remember a certain agent who said he was s-"

"Fuck you!" Sands yelled pissed. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back into the car and slammed the door shut. El heard the girl giggle and Sands snapped something at her.

He looked at the car and heard the two of them discussing the differs between 'sorry, like I mean it' and 'sorry, I just want to hush you.' Since when did that bastard become so playful with her? He didn't like it. 'He's trying something, but I can't tell what it is…'

Sitting down he slowly looked at the agent and the girl. Smiling she stuck out her tong as he gave her the finger. El shook his head and growled. 'This is going to be a long drive."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"_E prendo di mira il peggio, il futile gli stolti e tutti i re, Non presto favori per poi riceverne, per non soccombere"_

And a long trip it was. Half way the girl jumped next to him and turned on the radio. Screaming in surprise she found a pop canal and ever since the music started banged through the car, she had been singing along loudly. It surprised him a bit Sands hadn't shot her down. But when he saw the sadistic smile on the man's face he knew why. Sands was to pleased with her because she was pissing him off. And Sands knew he wouldn't do anything about it. 'The manipulative bastard.' He thought angry.

"Ci vuole calma e sangue freddo, calma yeeh Ci vuole calma e sangue freddo oh yo yo oh yo yo!" She and the music screamed.

"That's enough!" He snapped and pressed the radio out.

"_HEY_!" She yelled.

"Shut up." He was already pissed and at the end of his nerves.

"Don't tell her to shut up, fuckshit!" Sands interfered. El shot daggers at him. 'Great now he's protecting her …' To his relieve he saw a motel coming. He parked the car and got out. Soon giggelina and Gringo followed.

"We're right in front of a very cheap and crappy looking motel. It's three floors high, dark wood and the doors and windows are painted red." The girl said.

It took El a second to figure out why she was explaining all of that. He realised she was talking to Sands and not to him.

"It's seven steps to the door. Or eight, depends on how big your steps are."

"_Great_." Sands said sarcastic. "You fail your K9 test, honey." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist.

"Just follow me okay!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They walked into the motel. El walked to the counter and started to talk in fast Spanish to the man behind it. Meantime Lizz parked Sands on a bench and sat down right besides him. She picked up a magazine, made sure Sands wasn't pissed or had his gun pointed at someone and started reading. After a couple of minutes El walked back and didn't look to happy.

"_Idiots_!" He snapped, pointing at his wallet. "Do you have any idea how much you spent! I just got enough for two bedrooms!" He threw a key at Lizz. "You two share."

Lizz looked offended at El. "You mean I got to be in the same room with him? _Again_!"

El nodded. "You don't have much of a choice." He gestured to the hall. "Let's go it's late."

Lizz stood up cursing, grabbed Sands, who was as pissed as she was and followed El. Not very surprised she found out her room was small and cheap. But the good part was, it wasn't pink, it wasn't mouldy and there were two beds.

"Yes!" She cheered, jumping on the nearest bed. "Finally I can sleep without fighting for the pillows!"

"I'm very happy for you, sugar." Sands said, the sarcasm dripping off. "But could you, off course_ after_ your happy-dance, tell me what the room is like?"

She stopped jumping and looked around. "Not very big, guess six steps by five. We got a own toilet and shower, door is on the right side. Right in front of you is my bed, three steps further is yours." She scanned the room and yelled. "And we got our own TV!"

"Isn't that awesome…" Cranky he sat down on the bed. "Does this room also includes a minibar, just a question, course."

"Yes and _no_, you're not going to drink any." She said back. "El is already pissed because you spent all his money."

"You were right next to me, luv. So don't blame everything on the insane guy."

"Yeah, sure when you find a way to blame me you're insane."

"Duh."

"Loser."

"Bitch."

"Idiot!"

"Brat!"

"Arg!" She kicked against the bed and made a face at him. "Can't you for once just shut up!"

"Do you _really_ want to know the answer to that question…?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm afraid not."

"Then shut your cute little mouth."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Someone knocked on the door. El jumped up and grabbed his gun in reflex. He sneaked to the door and slammed it open pointing his gun right at Sands!

The man, not impressed grinned. "Nice to know Mexicans are so hospitable."

El switched his gun to safety and pushed it between his belt. "What do you want?"

Sands pointed at the room across. "Kid is watching a movie, The Notebook. Crying her ass off. Can't take it, to fucking much, she's so _god damn_ annoying. I swear one more minute in there and I will kill her." After that line he smiled angelic. "So, good boy I am, came here so I can work off the urge to kill." He pushed El away and walked in. "You got a minibar?"

El, shocked by Sands abrupt action turned around and stared at the man. It took him some time to say something. "What!"

"El please, try to understand English." Sands sighed. "Is… there… a… _minibar_?"

"I understood you perfectly the first time." He snapped back. "I meant, why are you here and not in the restaurant if you so desperately want to get drunk."

Something in his bearing changes. Within a second his expression was between anger and fear. "Because I don't _know_ where that is. Christ, think El!" He felt around and sat down on the bed.

El started to feel a bit of pity for the man. He grabbed a beer and handed it over to him. He just took it and didn't say a thing. A bit offended by that he sat down on the chair across the bed. "And what are we going to do now?" He asked.

"Beats me."

El frowned. "You don't even have an plan?"

The man drunk from his beer. "Nop. Got nothing, no clue, no idea."

He didn't get it. Was this Sands he was talking to? Was this the man who set up half Mexico?

"Why not?"

"Because, every time I make a plan it gets fucked up by someone. First it was the little girly. She was suppose to hate me, get me money and then fuck off. That didn't work out. So I planned to get rid of her. Again that didn't work, I ended up with her in a cell and spilled every little detail of my so called life." He sighed frustrated. "Now she likes me and I… don't hate her. And because her daddy-o knows I'm with her now I can't leave. I can't run and leave her. Just like you El. We're both stuck."

"I figured that out Sands." He growled. He was a bit surprised Sands told him he wasn't going to leave the girl. It surprised him even more the man sounded so calm. Suddenly the agent stood up. "I'll be leaving, as you can _see_." He grinned taking a sip of his beer. "If you hear shooting, I killed the TV. Bye."

And the agent left smiling, already pulling out his gun.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lizz sat on the bed, holding a tissue. She was watching TV wile tears rolled over her cheek. "That's just to sad. Allie stay with him, c'mon!" She took a bit of her chips and kept talking to the TV.

She nearly got a heart-attack when someone slammed against the door. She heard a loud curse, jumped off the bed and opened the door. Sands stood there rubbing his forehead. She rolled her eyes. "I told you, five steps!"

He pushed her aside. "Fuck you, I'm in pain here."

She rose an eyebrow. "Right… You managed to survive more than four bullet wounds and now you're crying because you hurt your cute little babyface?"

"Don't you fucking talk to me like that!" He pointed at her. "And I can't even cry."

The last line made Lizz bit her lip. She cursed herself for starting about that. "Wanna watch the movie?"

"Watching isn't in the picture luv." He growled. He walked to the bed and laid down. "Thank god I still have you, precious." He took a sip of the beer and smiled.

"There isn't much to make you happy huh?" he replied sarcastic.

He grinned at her. "Nop."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Next day Lizz woke up by El. He told her he was going into town, trying to get some information about her steppdad. He told her four times she had to stay inside, not to go away, stay with Sands and not to go outside. Finally she pushed him out of the room hissing she wanted to go back to sleep.

She turned around and saw Sands sitting up straight already and she sighed. "There goes the beauty sleep…"

But to her surprise the morning went pretty good. Sands hadn't threatened her yet or yelled or pointed his gun. She smiled watching him mumble to the TV. 'Maybe he's changing his life.' She just went to the reception to get some food. Off course the cheapest stuff to order, since El had promised her he would make her pay if she spent to much money. And after that small drinking incident she decided to take the threat seriously.

"Honey, I'm home." She yelled suddenly from the doorway. Sands shot up and cursed. "Fucking brat, don't do that!"

"Do what?" She asked innocent.

"Well, breath for instance." He snapped back.

"Ha.Ha." Giving him the finger she placed the plate on the small table between the beds. "Got you a coke and a sandwich."

He looked at her. "Jeez, that is just to much…"

"Hold your smart comments for yourself. It's not my fault El is all pissed. You spent all his money!"

He sat up. "What? Again this discussion! You were right beside me! And you had the wallet! So don't fucking blame me for pissing El, this time." He felt around, grabbed a coke and opened it. He took a swig than spit out half of the stuff. "What the fuck is this! It tastes like piss!"

Lizz opened her coke. "That's _highway coke_, cheapest coke ever. It was this or nothing."

"Then why didn't you pick nothing. This stuff has to be radioactive!"

"Don't be a baby."

"Don't mock me."

"Or what!"

"I'll kill you!"

"Right… You always say that."

"This time I'm serious!"

"Sure Sands…"

"I'm totaly sure!"

"Owh god, now I'm so scared… Please, someone save me from this evil villain."

"That's it I'm going to kick your butt!"

"I'm a girl!"

"SO!"

"Guy's don't kick or hit girl that's just weak."

Sands drunk the last bit of his disgusting coke. "Then you don't know guys, Lizzy-O."

She giggled. "Can be, but I damn well know you, Sands." It made him smile, even made him feel a bit relieved. Now where the hell did that came from! Suddenly the phone ringed.

Sands heard her pick up the phone, still giggling. "Yeah with room 412, annoying brat and fucked up bastard at your serves." A quick thought of throwing something at her popped up in his mind. Suddenly she sighed and let out a soft cry. It made him frown and lower the can he was about to throw.

"Y-yes." She started to sob. "No, you can't!" A pause. "No… bastard." Another pause. He tried to focus on the other end of the line. "Yes." She said with a trembling voice. "I will." She hung up and walked back into the room.

"Sands… I got to go." Her voice was in disbelieve and fear. "I need to, where is my stuff?"

Sands jumped up and almost fell forward. "What the_ fuck_ are you talking about!"

She was quiet, trying to find her voice back. "That was my stepdad. He's got my mom, Sands. He's going to kill her if I don't come right now. I have to, have to go!"

His mind stopped for a moment. His mind freezing, realising what she was saying. She was going to leave. She was going away. Leaving him alone, again. Like everyone did before. He would be alone again. With the voices. And El was close by. And he wouldn't be able to get away, or leave the motel without her. "Fuck…" He whispered. 'I need her. I let her in, trusted her… And now she's leaving.'

"You… can't!" he managed to speak. She stopped picking up her stuff and turned at him.

"I have to." Her voice was soft almost inaudible.

He swallowed. "No, you fucking can't!" He breathed in deeply. "You promised you wouldn't!"

"Sands, I'm sorry. But I have to. He's got my mom."

"So what!" This time his voice was louder, stronger. He walked at her and snatched her stuff out of her hands. "You hated that bitch. She never cared about you. You told me yourself she was nothing, just a dead drunk." She was crying he knew that, but he didn't care. She was talking shit.

"Sands, she's my mom." She sobbed. "I can't let her get killed because of what I did."

The control slipped out of his grip. It hit him hard, to hard. She was going away. Without him… Leaving him for some bitch…

His breath began to speed up. "Fucking _lair_! Fucking bitch! So you're just going then!" Furious he grabbed the nearest thing, what was a bottle, and threw it against the wall. "You know what, _fine,_ just go! Get the fuck out of here!" He threw her stuff at her. "Go get yourself killed for that whore. Hope you burn in hell for it! Fucking _die_! I _hate_ you, bitch!"

She grabbed her stuff and ran to the door. He heard her stop and turn around. "You know Sands, of all the people I thought _you _would understand that I have to save my mother." She opened the door. "I'm sorry and…_ goodbye_."

The door closed and she was gone. He stared into the direction of the door and wished he would hear footsteps coming back. Wished the door got kicked open and she would walk back in, cursing him for everything he had said. He would snap something back, they would be mad at each other for five minutes and then go watch TV.

But he didn't hear the footsteps.

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He walked to the bed and dropped down on it. She was going and would get killed. And it would be his fault. He should had tied her to the bed or hit her or begged her to stay. Anything so she would stay. He lied still on the bed on his side. Slowly he touched his sunglasses. She gave them to him. He took them of and toyed with the glasses. It was the thing that protected him from the world. Because of it he didn't have to let people see his face. Because normal people would get a freaking heart attack if they saw him.

'But she didn't.' She saw the real me, in more ways that can be good for a person. And... she didn't hate me or made me a freak. He placed the glasses next to him and laid down on his back. He pulled out a cigarette and felt it was one of his last. He shrugged and lighted, inhaled, but didn't feel better. After blowing circled of smoke in the air he got up and felt around.

To his relieve he found the minibar. He grabbed all the bottles and walked back to the bed. Surrounded by alcohol he lied down. He rose one bottle. "Fuck you all I'm out of here…"

**It's pathetic. He screamed at Lizz to get the fuck out and hissed she would go to hell. Still I find him so god damn sad and at some point sweet. Finally he trusts someone and she has to leave. But it also sucks for Lizz, maybe even more… Poor girl, I'm a terrible person to put them both through this. **

**Leave a review it's making me write 20x faster. **

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **

Ff omdat ik je niet op msn spreek doe zal 'k ff zegge wak van la chapter vond! Okay, gaattie…: WAAAH! VET! ZIELIG! SCHRIJF MEER! (okay, dat hoor ik eigenlijk in een review te schrijven, maar goed…)

Byebyeos!


	35. City of the outcast

**Sorry I didn't update sooner. But I saw potc again and I had to edit a small idea for a story. But don't worry I won't abandon this fic, I'm just a bit stuck for the moment. But before I do something serious about writing I will finish this fic! **

**Disclaim: still got some space left so let's destroy my dream shall we? I DON'T OWN SANDS! (CRIES!) and I DON'T OWN EL! And I don't own ANYTHING that might look like something from OUATIM. I do own Lizz and I'm very glad with that!**

**A/N) PEOPLE READING THIS STORY! I wanna say I mad it to 100000 WORDS! That my record! Thank you all for reviewing everytime! I luv YA!**

**One last thing, The title sucks, like always. But the chap is good. **

**Chapter 35) City of the outcast. **

Angy and tired El shut his door. Sweating and hungry he walked into the motel. 'It _stings_, half day asking around and no information. I got nothing!' Irritated he felt in his pockets for his keys. After three pockets he realised his room keys were still in the car. "Damn it!" He hissed looking murderous at his door. He didn't feel anything for walking back to his car so he walked to the room across, knocking on the door.

After not receiving an answer he opened the door. The room was dimmed, curtains drawn closed and the room was a mess. Everywhere he looked were pieces of glass, splinters form a broken table and cigarettes buts. 'What happened here?' Slowly he walked into the room, hearing glass break under his boots. First he walked to the curtains and shifted them open. The room got lighted by the last bit of the sunset. He then noticed the light balls where blown off. 'Was there a fight?' Suddenly he heard glass rankle behind him. Quickly he turned around and saw a bottle roll from behind the bed, covered in blood.

His eyes grew and quickly he ran around the bed. There he let out a soft gasp. On the ground laid Sands, covert in blood, face very pale and he seemed unconscious. He kneeled besides the man and shook him gently. But the agent didn't react and barely breathed. El growled and stood up. He lifted the man carefully and brought him to the bathroom. There he placed him under the shower and putted the thing on. Slowly the water around him turned red. He sighted relieved. It looked worse than it was. Only his hands had been bleeding, probably because of the broken glass.

After a couple of seconds Sands slowly shook his head, probably wondering where the water was coming from. He mumbled something and shook his head dizzy.

El turned off the shower. "What happened Sands?"

The man's face turned into a grimace. "Am I not dead jet?"

"Afraid not Sands." El answered, not very in the mood to talks about Sands' dead wishes. "What happened."

Sands looked even more pained. "She _left_, that what's happened! She just ran off, that fucking little _bitch_." He looked up, soaked. "She told me she wouldn't run off like everyone else did. I hope she dies."

Shocked El looked at the man in front of him. Just a couple of hours ago he'd looked like the girls best friend, defending her and making her smile. What happened when he was looking for information? Slowly he looked back at Sands. He didn't look bitter as El had thought he would, no, he looked devastated. "She left me here, like an old dog tied against a tree. I'm nothing to her, else she wouldn't have broken her promise."

El didn't know what to say. Sands looked like he was about to cry, if he could. It was a bit frightening to see the man who was his sworn enemy look so… broken. He realised he had to say something. "Do you have any idea where she went?"

"To _hell_, that's where she is going." Sands hissed. "Stupid fucked up kid, she went back to _him_, after everything he did to her she still goes back to him. Only to save her dead drunk uncaring mom."

"Wait, she went back to her stepdad!" El yelled.

"That's what I said fuckmook…"

"And you didn't even _stop_ her!" El asked in disbelieve.

"What could I have said, El almighty, she's crazy. She wants to save her mom so desperately. Well, fuck her then. That bitch never did shit for her."

"You are unbelievable Sands." El felt much like beating the guy to shit, but only the looks of the man made clear that he did that to himself already. "She is just a little _girl_. She doesn't know any better. You keep acting like she's a grown up. But she _isn't_ Sands! God sometimes you can be so… so." He didn't find the right words. "And don't even act as if she doesn't care about you. She _loves _you. She's puts up with more shit than you can imagine. You've hurt her so many times and she never hated you."

Sands shrugged. "Fuck you El, _fuck _you."

Right now El felt much for shooting the man. But his mind said no, there were more important things to do. He hurried back into the living room and started to look around for clues. After kicking over some bottles and looking around the room he saw a small note next to the phone.

_He found me,  
__I'm going to San Luis Portuez.  
__He's got my mom,  
__Say Sands I'm sorry and please don't let him behind,  
__Love, Lizz. _

'San Luis Portuez, that wasn't to far from here.' El thought. One day of driving and you could be there. Quickly he grabbed his gun, the car keys and his coat. He was about to smack the door opened and run to the car. Then he realised there was still something he had to deal with. Growling he walked to the bathroom. "Sands I…" He sighted. 'Never mind I have no time for this.'

Before the agent even opened his mouth El grabbed him by the waist and threw him over his shoulder. Sands was to shocked to say something right away, but that didn't take to long.

"What the fuck are you doing!" He yelled furious, trying to get out of the strong grip of the Mariachi. "Let me go!" If he hadn't drunk so fucking much he would have killed El and make it very, very painful.

"Don't talk. You and I have a girl to safe." And with that El ran to the car, knowing he couldn't pay even half the stuff Sands drunk. He literally threw Sands into the backseat of the car and drove off.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

When he woke up his head was spinning and his hands burning. He didn't have a clue where he was. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to be dead. He seriously felt as bad as shit and he doubted that was only from the alcohol he had drunk. He moved his head a little to the left, trying to stop the dizzy feeling. He heard a motor spinning, was he in a car? How did he end up there? Even a better question, who was steering this thing? He knew who wasn't behind the wheal. "The little fuckshit." He hissed.

"Good, you're away." A deep heavy accented voice cheered, to happily.

El, off course _señor asshole_ had to drag him along, wherever he was going. Why didn't that fuckmook just shoot him? That wasn't so much to ask now was it! "Where we going?" He muffled, a bit wondered his voices sounded so calm.

"Going to save Lizz, since you couldn't do that yourself." El briefly answered.

"I don't want to." He said, not caring that he sounded like a toddler.

"That's your problem, we're going."

"Why, I don't _see_ any good in it."

"Because she saved us and because I feel I have to help her."

"Why? That doesn't make any sense you know." Sands said. "She choose to go away, why don't you leave her alone?"

"She didn't choose for anything Sands, her stepdad forced her to come. If not her mom would get killed."

"Her mom was a dead drunk. The bitch never cared about Lizz. So why did Lizz ran off to save that bitch?" This was really a question. And he was scared what the answer would be. He knew he sometimes treated her like shit. And deep in his heart he was scared that she ran off because of that. That the whole phone call thing was just a trick to get away from him. It nagged him to death he couldn't decide to trust her or not. He wanted it, to trust her. But he couldn't bring himself that far.

El sighed, another thing that bugged him. The guy acted like he was a child asking to many annoying questions. "A mother is one of the most important people in a life Sands. I'm sure you won't understand it."

'Don't get your answers so sure, amigo, you would be surprised.' Sands toughed. "Still she's stupid. Why would she care for someone that never did the same for her."

"Because children stay loyal to their parents, that's why."

He bit his lip. He knew El was right. At the beginning when his dad started to beat him, he never doubted his dad was bad. He was the bad one, not his dad. And the stupid part was, it took him about eighteen years to figure that out.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Around midnight El finally saw the lights of San Luis Portuez. It was a small town, mostly inhabit by labours. But because the factory had to close by a huge fraud it was almost abandoned. Only a couple of old people still lived there and of course people with criminal plans.

El park the car about hundred feet removed from the town. He smacked Sands, who had been asleep most of the ride, on the back on his head. "Wake up, Gringo." The man looked at him deadly and they both stepped out.

"Where are we?" Sands asked, still sleepy.

"We're in San Luis Portuez. Small town. Almost no villagers, one old factory, that's about it." El said, looking around for anything suspicious.

"_Great_, and why did you brought us here?"

He realised he hadn't told Sands anything about Lizz her letter. He'd just dragged the man to the car and drove away. "Lizz left a note." He felt in his pocket. "It says she's going to San Luis Portuez. And she says she's sorry for leaving you behind."

Sands shrugged. "Bit _late _for that, don't you think."

'That guy is unbelievable,' El decided. He put the car keys in his pocket and started to walk towards the city.

"Wait." Sands yelled from behind him.

Sighing he turned around. "What!" He said irritated.

Sands stood still, biting his lip and looking down. "I don't now where I have to go. I can't see."

El cursed himself for not thinking about that earlier. How was he going to deal with this? The man who stood across him was blind, no, worse than blind. And Sands hated to asked his help, he already knew that. And by only the looks of the other man he could make clear he wouldn't think a second time to shoot him, if he did anything to make the helping even more worse.

"And what should I do about it?" He asked finally.

"There isn't much to do about it anymore, fuckshit." He pointed at his glasses. "It's a bit late to restore the eyes, _savvy_?" His voice was a mixture between bitterness and sarcasm. He had to say, it was a very bad way to put the words.

"You know what I mean Sands."

"I know that, I'm just trying to get a bit humour into this deadly silence thing."

"That's not working, Sands."

"Because you are world best fun-killer, El, dear friend. I bet you're born so uptight."

El rolled his eyes. "Do you want to get into town or what!"

"Whatever."

Praying to God to please give him more patients he grabbed the agents' wrist. He didn't react to the curses, threats or the yelling. He wanted to get into the city, find out where Lizz was and safe her, before it was to late.

**It's again very short, but that's because I'm a bit stuck with the story. I still know what's gonna happen, but I can't write it down properly. So pray for me and send me a nice wonderful, long review. **


	36. Is it to late

**This chapter is a bit where my poem _Is it to late_ is about. I don't force people to read, just a small suggestion.**

**Also warning. There are some deep stuff in here. Mostly about Sands and about his problems. Not ganna say to much, not want to ruin the chapter. **

**One last thing. Sorry took some time to writhe, but the beginning was pretty hard to make. And I was to the Elf Fantasy Fair so I got a hell of a excuse!**

**Chapter 36) Is it to late. **

Things sucked like they never sucked before. El had literally dumped him in some kind of motel, somewhere in the middle of a criminal village. 'The' had left about three hours ago, out looking for Lizzy, who was probable already dead. And he was trying to stay sane. What, as a matter of fact, was very hard.

It went always the same. Something put him off balance and slowly the voice would take over. Normally he staid in control because he knew he could handle the situation. But right now he was freaking out, he was left alone with only his guilt and the voiced that slowly returned.

"_Tsk, tks Shel, thought you could just fuck me up with some drug? Really thought I would die only because that kid gave you some dope?"_

"Leave me ALONE!" He clutched his fist, making his nails dig into his hand. "Go away!" To his relieve it kept silent. He whipped the sweet off his forehead. "C'mon Sands, don't let that thing take the best of you, you're stronger than this."

A murky laughter echoed throw the room. Hastily Sands jumped up from the bed and cocked his head from side to side. 'Did it come from out of the room, or is it in my head.' He felt like thousand people watching him, every step.

"_Where watching you Shel, all three of us… You fucked up again… Remember what happens when you screw something up?"_

He held his breath. "No…"

"_That's right, he comes back and hurt you…And I think you fucked up big time…"_

"_You made another girl leave Sheldon. How could you! After everything she did for you! For once I thought you've changes. But your just one big LIE!" _

"No, mom I'm not-"

"_Yes you are Sheldon! Everything you promised me to became you failed. The day I left you told me you would be a good boy. And what are you now! A sick killer! I wish you're father had drown you, so I don't have to see what kind of thing my son become!" _

"Shut up!"

_Shelly, Shelly don't act so sissy. Act like a killer, you are one! End this!" _

"NO!"

"_Why not Shel, it's not like you have anything left to stay here…right?" _

"I need to save her…" Sands hold his breath, realising what he just said. And he was right. If she was still alive, if there was still a change to save her, he had to. He owned her that.

"_She's already dead Shel, you killed her remember? You made her leave and walk right into the claws of death. And do you think she's waiting for a blind brute monster like you? No, she wants the great Mariachi to save her. A man brave and kind, not a sick bastard like you." _

Sands clutches his teeth. The voice was right. There was just now way… That someone would pick him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

In the meantime El drove off, to the closed down factory. A couple of villagers had told him they had seen a couple of cars drove throws that. So it would be the best place to start looking.

He was almost there and saw light burn.

'At leased there are people in that thing.' He thought, he had drove for almost a hour to get there. About hundred meter in front of the factory he parked the car, checked his guns and ammo and stepped out. Quickly he sneaked close by. He duck behind a bush and saw two armed man guard the front door. He grinned, this was to easy.

A rock hit against the glass of the factory. The first guard frowned and ordered the other to check it out. After the second one walked off, the first one got smack on the back of his head by a holster. ( achterkant van een gun) Guard number two came back and got hit in the face by a large piece of metal. Making a squeaking sound he dropped on the ground, landing on guard number one.

Grinning El stepped out of the shadow and snatch both there guns. When he walked into the factory he was immediate back on his feet. This was enemy territory and he had to be very careful. He walked throw the hall carefully trying to catch every sound. He saw a couple of old machinery, been covert with dust. It was clear the factory wasn't used for a long time. He touched one of the things, trying to figure out where it got used for.

A light went one. El's eye's widened and he duck behind the old piece of iron. He heard two man walk close.

"_What the hell is thanking so long Daily!" _Grumbled the first one furious with a very south accent.

"_Can't help it boss, the little bugger isn't very willing to cooperated." _A very familiar voice spook.

'Daily is not dead yet!' El's mouth dropped. Why didn't Sands kill him when he had the changes!

"_It's a little girl! How hard can it be to get her to do what you say! Use you're head, idiot! Make her understand what the conscientious are if she doesn't do what I tell her to do! She stole my god damn money! And I'm very pissed 'bout that! So you better make sure she gets it back before tomorrow and doesn't try to warn anyone, like yesterday!" _

It was very hard for El not to shoot the man right now. 'That bastard is her stepdad. If I find out he did something to her I'll…'

"_Yes, boss I make sure she gets your money back." _Daily said hastily. El heard her stepdad mumble something and walk off. This was his changes!

He jumped up, sprung over the machinery and grabbed Daily by his neck. Before the man could yell for help he pushed his gun against the man's cheek. "_Don't_ say a word, ore you're dead meat."

Daily winched and looked at him with frightened eye's. El looked deadly back. "Where is she!" When Daily didn't answer right away, he dragged the man up and smack him up against a wall. "Better answer quick before I loos my temper!" To prove his point he pushed his gun from safety.

Shocked Daily pointed at a hall. "She's in the last door on you're right." His voices quivered. El's eye's narrowed. "I hope for you she isn't harmed." He lowered the man and pushed him forward. "_Walk_!" Daily almost tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward, stroking his neck. El still aimed his gun at Daily.

At the door Daily pulled a key out of his pocked and pushed it into the key-hole. He looked up at El. "She's in there."

"You first!" He demanded, not feeling much for walking into a room full of armed men. Daily sighted opened the door and stepped into a dark room. El blinked and tried to make out what was in the room.

Suddenly a war scream echoed throw the room and Daily yelped, falling unconscious on the floor. El jumped up and the door close behind him. He was in complied darkness. 'This is how Sands must feel all day.' Shoot throw his mind. He heard a sweeping sound and in reflex he grabbed a long piece of wood before it would hit his face. Quickly he reached to the and grabbed the carrier by the neck.

"Let me go!"

"_Lizz_?" Quickly he let her go. She coughed and catch he breath back.

"_EL_!" She let out a relieved yelp. "What are you doing here!"

He smiled. "Well, saving you off course!" She yelled again and hugged him. El quickly pushed her away. "Were not out of this yet. We have to be quick." He passed her a gun. "Use this if you have to."

Clumsy she grabbed the gun. "_I_ have to shoot?"

"Yes, you practised with Sands and I need you're help."

"But-"

"No _but_, let's go."

El pushed open the door, cocked his head out and scanned quickly he hall. No man around. "It's safe." He said and walked out. Lizz followed him. He turned to her. "Listened if we-" he stopped and looked at her face. Her lip was swollen and bruised, as her left eye. When she notched where he looked at she lowered her head ashamed. He gently touched her chin and pushed her head up.

"Who did that to you?"

Her eye's started to fill with tears. "My stepdad, when he realised I tried to warn the cops." El starred at her, feeling guilty for not being here sooner.

Suddenly running steps filled came close. "Alarm! Juan and Casper are out!" A man, wearing black closed run into the hall. He stopped running when he saw El and Lizz. "PRISONER ESC-" Before he could finish his word El shot him down. Fast he grabbed Lizz, who starred at the dead bleeding man.

"Run, they must have hear the shot!" Her eye's grow and she started to run as El tried to remember where the exit was. Another man stored in at them. El shoot him and pushed him aside, cursing under his breath when Lizz let out a scream.

Finally he saw the door he used before. Relieved he let out a breath and smashed throw the door. He broke easily throw the wood and landed on the sand. He shook his head making the sand fall out his hair. He stood up and looked at Lizz, standing in the doorway looking disoöritated into the night.

"C'mon Lizz." He stood up and both run at the car. El smacked open the door and hurried in, Lizz doing the same next to him. He felt around for the keys, started the car and drove hastily away.

After they reached the highway he dared to let out a relieved breath. 'They made with, without getting hurt.' Feeling rather good about himself he looked at Lizz. His mood dropped ten degree. The girl stared down at her feet, making herself small as possible. Tears slowly run down her bruised cheek.

"Lizz." He didn't know how he should react. "What happened to you."

"He beat me." She whispered, sounding cold. "He _lied_. He didn't had my mom. It was just a trick to get a stupid girl to do what he want."

El bit his lip. Now he had absolutely now clue what to say. And if he ever got his hand on that bastard he would… But right now that wasn't the point. "You're not stupid Lizz-"

"_Yes_, I am." She looked up at him with bitter eye's. "Everything I did was a mistake! I shouldn't have stool the money. I should have never got to Mexico. I shouldn't had helped Sands!" El saw her bit her lip, not to break down in tears. "I'm so fucking stupid!"

El took a couple of second until she calm down a bit. "You're not stupid Lizz, and don't interrupt me." He said after she already opened her mouth to say something back. "You manages to run away, get to Mexico. You can drive, shoot and get the best out of every situation. Lot of other girls, even grown man should hade gave up. But you didn't. You saved me a couple of times. And even Sands, not only from death but also from insanity."

"But I couldn't stop him from hating me." She whispered disappointed and sad. "Do you know what he did to me? First he tried to set me up and deliver me at my stepdad. I _swear_ that bastards Daily let me here the tap. It was just that there was some stuff in a bar ore Sands would have hand me over at that guy." She wiped the tears of her face. "And do you know what he said when I left? He whished I would end up in _hell_, he called me a _bitch_ a _liar_ he whished I was _death_." She looked up to him. "You only say things like that if you _hate_ that person." She wrapped her arms around her legs. "So he can go to hell, I _never_ have to see that guy ever again!"

El looked from the corners of his eye's at her. There she sat, a girl with short hair been throw more than was good for a person. He could get her out of this mess, save her and move to another country. It should be a good thing to do. But still… fifteen miles from here waited a guy, even more insane than the devil, for her return. He didn't like Sands. The man was cocky, manipulative and terrible arrogant. He knew what Sands had done, what he was capable of.

But he also knew that the man cared about her. Loved was a big word, but he adored her. It surprised him more than ever when he saw the cold-blooded killer act so kind at her. Sands had saved her, protected her and made her laugh. He would never admit it, but when El saw him, just after Lizz run off, it was like a Sands was crying.

So, even when is mind told him otherwise he started to talk. "Lizz remember when you woke up in my house after you went to that bar?"

Surprised she looked at him. "Yeah, but what has that to do with this?"

El slowed down the car a bit. " You didn't had a hangover. In that bar was a guy that putted drugs in you're drink. When the drugs kicked in, Sands took over the wheel and drove nearby my house. Then you passed out. He dragged you out of the car and walked to the house. I still have no idea how he did that. But he did. He could have left you in the car and you would have frees to death, Mexico can gets cold very fast."

"So there _was_ a guy and Sands _did_ save me?" El nodded.

Lizz frowned. "Why didn't he say that back then?"

El smiled. "You think that Sands would spread the rumour he actually saved someone's life with no other intensions?"

Lizz giggled. "That's right, hell would freeze over before he would say that."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

It's been three hours and the voices where still there. He had taken the fucking pills but still no effect. He sat in a chair, trying to breath so slowly as he could. If he didn't think and played death they where almost inaudible… almost.

"_Shel admit it, you're going mad, crazy insane…" _

"_Almost back little piece of shit, just wait, just wait…" _

"_I didn't think you could end up worse Sheldon! Even hell isn't good enough for you!"_

He slowly shook his head and brushed over his gun. 'Don't reacted on them Sands, they'll go away eventually.'

"_Ahh, that's where you're wrong Shel, see we never go away. We stay here for ever. No drugs can get us shut up. We are a part of you. You've made us, created us and you can't hush us!" _

He didn't get it. Why didn't they go away? He had taken the drugs, he didn't react on them and they where still there. What was wrong?

"_You're wrong Shel, everything about you is wrong, bad, mutilated. That's why nobody loves you. Why would anyone love something so disgusted as you!"_

Something deep inside of him hurt. Very badly it hurt. "That's not true. Mom, you loved me once right?" 'Please let it be a yes.'

"_Once I may did. But that's nothing more than a mothers job. A mom has to love her son. But in a way I always hated you, Sheldon. You where weak and looked so much as you're father. You where always so sickly attached to me. Like a parasite, why did you think I died. You suck all the life out of me!" _

"No mom, _please_… Don't say that to me." How could she say that! This couldn't be her. She always told him she loved him and she protected him from his dad. Ore would she tell the truth? Would she really hated him? If so, then there was never someone that loved him.

"_Incapable of loving, Shel. Told you that already, didn't I?" _

"_You're not worth the beloved, sick little kid!" _

"_You only hate and destroy Sheldon…" _

"No…" He felt pain in his chest. Great pain, not physical but mental. Why did this do so much to him? Where did the cold-blooded killer go? Why did he sunk back into that scared little Sheriff Sheldon? Why did he feel like this? It didn't make any sense, what was the point of feeling guilty if you couldn't make things different. He stroke slowly over his temple. 'What the fuck, what the _fuck_…'

_CREAKKK_

It took him some time to figure out what that sound was. He realised it was the door. He tensed. It could be anyone. And probable someone that wanted him death. He wanted to reached to his gun, but if he did that person could shoot him before he even touched his gun. He felt cold and frustrated for not been able to see.

The door opened more, hearing the sound of un-oiled metal. The someone stood in the doorway, ticking with nails on the door. "Sands?" It sounded unsure. His mind stopped. 'No fucking way…' Slowly he looked up in disbelieve. 'It couldn't be, why would…'

"Are you still mad on me?"

"You came back…?"

Both questions where answered when the other spook. He heard running steps and they jingling sound of her bracelet. Before he knew it she was around his neck and hugged him. She kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, _really_ sorry." She whispered in his ear. "It's my fault, she wasn't even there…" She sobbed. "I'm never going ever again, if you will protect me kay?"

He was still a bit tensed by the sudden touched, but slowly hugged her back, realising what she was saying to him. He tried to find good words, something good to say. But his mind failed him right now. Finally he manages to say something. "Promise." He felt her relax against his chest. She kissed him again and placed her head on his chest, where his heart was.

They didn't say anything. Sometimes silent is good to. He slowly stroke throw her short hair, feeling her deep breath and slow. She was asleep and back. She _came_ back. She hadn't broke her promise. She cared enough about him to get back. After everything he put her throw, everything he did to her, she came back. He let out a long relieved breath, not caring shit about El, who was probable watching him. Watching him been all cuddly and girly. The man was probable laughing his ass off. Right now he didn't give a fuck. Even if the whole CIA was watching this he couldn't care less. He just had to kill the fuckmooks tomorrow. All he cared about was she. Because she came _back_.

**Well, isn't this totally CUTE! Ore a bit to much? I hope not I really tried to make Sands the cold guy, but c'mon give it a break it's hard to get a guy 100 procent deadly all the time. **

**I also want you to know the end is near. I'm almost done. I think two, three, maybe four chapters and it's finished. ( feeling bit miserable at the moment). **

**Anyway, please let me know what you think of this! Was it to cuddly ore to OOC? If so say and I WILL change it… try.**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	37. Change in action

**I don't know what is wrong with me. It so freaking hard to writhe down something. I guess I just don't want to finish this story. But I got to.. so here is next chapter:**

**Chapter 37) Change in action**

"Wake up, wake up!" Something jumped on him and shock him. "C'mon _wake up_, sleepy!"

Disappointed he couldn't open his eye's and glare at her he bend up. "What the fuck is you're problem, bouncy? Can't a guy sleep without getting irritated by you're cheerfulness!"

"No, I'm afraid you have to learn to live with that, Sands!" She dragged him up. "_C'mon _stand up we got to go! We got to go!" Half singing the words he heard her run around, picking stuff up.

Rubbing his head he stood up and started looking… feeling for his shoes. "Why are you so _fucking_ cheerful anyway, it's not like everything is swell and peachy now."

She handed him his shoes and jumped up and down. "While you where asleep, what was for more than ten hours, El and I figured out a plan to get the money!"

'I was out for _ten _hours?... Wait a second…' "Get to the money!" His bad moody suddenly turned into good.

"UHU! I can remember very good where the computer stands. And I was almost done with reloading the files. If I can be there for a half hour the money is ours!"

With hearing that news Sands felt very like to join her with her dance. "You're being serious?"

"_Dhu_, like I ever would lie to you!" She laughed. "Where going to be rich! I'm going to buy a plane! And a villa! With a swimming pool and a butler! And I want twelve closet to put _all _my new clothes in! And-"

Quickly, not wanting to kill his good mood he hushed her. "Alright, I get it!" He spit. Slowly reality hit him in the face. There was going to be money. And money meant rich. And if you where rich… you can do everything you want. He was going to be a free man, not having to hide like a coward. Tons of ideas started to fill his mind. He could go everywhere, could get back being 'important'. Ore could destroy the CIA… Yeah that sounded very good… He grinned, that idea sounded _very _good.

But still, he had to stay realistic. "And you think you can sit there for a half hour without getting killed?"

"Yes I think I can. I checked the map of the factory via the computer. There are long pipes of ventilator shafts. We can climbed throw them to the office from my step dad. There you two just have to be sure no-one storms in and where out before the even know we where there."

It was very freighting how smart that kid could sound sometimes. He had to remind himself not to hang out with her so much, she started to act a little to much like him. It was a smart plan indeed. Still he wasn't Mr. optimistic. "And what if he get caught." It was silent for a moment.

"Then we shoot our way out."

Quickly he made a note to tease her how to make a reasonable plan B. "That plan sucks, luv. Bet _El _came up with that part."

"He did indeed. But…" Again a silent. "If we don't do anything now, we never get a way out. Believe me he will hunt me forever and he won't stop until he finds me." He voice drifted off.

Sands reached out his hand and touched her face. He felt her tense but she didn't winch back. He felt bruised lips and a trail of tears.

"He did this?" He tries to keep his voice calm not to scare her off.

This time she backs away. "Yes…"

The rage he felt before shot throw his body. "I'm going to kill him."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

El was packing the last bit's of his stuff. After this he was going to be a free man, a mariachi again. He wasn't sure where he was going after this fight. Ore what he was going to do with Lizz and Sands. But he knew one think. They where going to be okay. All three of them. It was going to be hard for both Sands as Lizz, but they would make it without him. There was going to be enough money so he could go back to his_ Guitartown_ and get back to his peaceful life.

He smiled, picking up his case with his guitar inside. Old memories of good times came back so close he could almost feel Carolina stroke throw his hair.

Abruptly his nice memories fade away when Sands stumbled in, almost tripping over a chair. The thing fell down as Sands started to curse. El rolled his eye's and picked up his leather jacket.

"Nice plan you thought El. Very smart, I always wanted to know how it was to walk right into the claws of death." He sneered.

"That almost worked out earlier now didn't it?" He immediately snapped back. He watch the man get pale.

"Do you have a death wish!" Sands said, clutching his teeth.

"Not more then I usually have."

Sands was about to make a very deadly remake but Lizz interrupted. "Guy's, can you _please _not kill the other before we are safely driven away from the factory? After that you can hurt the other as much as you like, but right now it would be nice to keep both of you alive."

"Like I need that fuckmook. I can kill everything without señor _idiotica_, quite fin, little girl. I don't need anyone else to tell me where I got to go ore how I have to shoot!" Sands looked cocky down on the girl.

Lizz not very convinced pointed at the chair. "You nearly got hurt by a chair."

"That's different brat, and if you want to keep me around you better stop sounding so god damn annoying!" He growled. "Where did repulsive fear go… _fucking_ world."

El and Lizz both stared at Sands. El, a bit stunned, Lizz just annoyed.

"_Anyway_…" El finally said. He picked up two pistols, pushed between his own belt and gave the other one at Lizz. Her eye's went big and took the gun. "Do I have to shoot?"

"You never know." With that El turned to Sands. "How many bullets do you have left?"

Sands checked his ammo. "Bout eleven, not much so."

El frowned. That wasn't good. He himself had two guns and one just in case. Without much enthusiasm he handed his third gun to Sands. " Small pistol 0.02. Full."

"Gosh, that's about enough to kill a ladybug!" Sands said, voice cold. "Yeah, this mission is going to be a blast, throw the _head_ that is."

"Can you please hold you're sarcastic comments to yourself!" El yelled.

"That wouldn't be any fun…" Sands grinned but didn't say more. El was glade with that, he had much more at the moment then to argue with that gringo. He picked the last things up and walked to the car, leaving Sands en Lizz alone.

Sands was sitting down, loading both guns and enjoying the silent. But off course not for to long.

"Sands?"

Irritated he looked up. "_What_!"

She walk to him and sat down next to him. "If I die…"

Angry he looked at her. "You're not going to die, I promised to protect you! So don't talk shit!"

"It's a _if_, Sands, please listen this is important." He nodded slowly as she paused.

"If I die, can you find my mom and tell her I tried to do the best. And that I'm sorry the problems I have cased. And… that I love her very much."

Sands lowered his gun. The line El spook shoot throw his head. '_Kids always stay loyal to there parents.'_ Quickly he blocked the memories of his own mom. He nodded. "I'll tell her."

"Thanks." She stood up.

"Lizz?" He said.

She stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

"If I get killed…"

"Uhu?"

"Hack the whole CIA and say hi from me okay. Tell them Sands never stops fucking with them."

She smiled. "I will do that."

"Good." Sands stood up and placed the gun safe between his belt. "Now let's go and kick that fuckers ass!"

**It's short, but I'm going on a small vacation. So I wanted to posted something before that. I guess next chapter will be the last. (cries) **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	38. Grand finale part I

**Sorry, a thousand times for not updating. Thanks for you're patient and please don't hate me!**

**Warning: Aint betaed. Will get betaed but I wanted to update before I die of ages…**

**Chapter 38) Grand finale part I.**

How closer the car got to there destination, who sicker Lizz started to feel. Checking her gun for the seventh time while ticking nervously with her feet on the floor she looked at the time. Almost midnight. She sighted. 'This so sucks! I'm so going to be sick…' Wishing she had taken a aspire before leaving she checked her gun of the eight time. She looked throw the car. Two death serious faces stared straight forward, both in a grimace both ready to kill.

She bit her lip. 'This can go very bad.' Slightly she turned her head from Sands to El. 'What if one dies, than it's my fault.' And she didn't want that to happen. Final there where two people that cared about her and she didn't want to lose them.

"Hey kid I'm not stupid just blind. Do stare at me like that." Sands smirked as he turned his head. "And don't think shit, where ganna be alright. We get in, get the money and get out. Simple as that. You don't even have to shoot." This made her feel a bit better but she still didn't feel relieved. Something felt very bad. But she couldn't place her feeling.

The car stopped. "Where here." El informed short.

Lizz looked outside. She didn't see anything but some trees and cactuses. "And what is exactly here?"

El stepped out. "About hundred feet away from the factory."

"Okay… And why are we stopping here?" She stepped out and shivered. "It's very cold now, why can't we just drive?"

"Because, _genius_, we don't want to get caught the moment we walk in the factory." Sands stood behind her. "_Think _for once in you're life. The car makes noise, people will _hear_ noise, people will _shoot_ at us. Do I need to explain the combination of bullets and pain, before you understand driving will get us killed."

Sulky Lizz stuck out her tong. "No, I think I understand where you're going to."

"Good, then shut you're cute little mouth and walk!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

It took them so time to get close to the factory. Many guard where walking around the building and large spotlights shone around ever inch of the ground. But with some quick stunts, jumping and hitting three guards on the back of there head, El manages to find the way into the building.

'Building is not the correct word,' El thought. He, the girl and Sands jumped into a sewer and where now under the ground of the factory. Bend down he tried to find a way up.

"This stinks." The girl complained, walking right behind him.

"We are in a sewer, what did you think it would smell like? Red roses!" Sands sneered sarcastic.

"Ha-Ha."

El frowned and looked behind him furious. "Can you two _shut up_ and act like where not on a safari! If anyone hears us where dead, so keep al those smart talk for yourself!" And thank god they both kept there mouth shut. 'It's like you have to baby-sit two toddlers.' He thought. 'One with the trill to kill people and one with that rattles on and on.'

Finally he saw light above. Far above. High up there was a hatch, with a old, rusty step to climb up to. And just the looks of that step made El worry. If the thing could hold a rat it would be a miracle, so how where they going to climb up with three people?

Lizz also saw the stairs. "El isn't it smarter to go back? That thing is never going to hold us."

"Go back!" Sands snapped. "We almost got caught while getting in. You think we will get out that easy!"

"He's right." El replied soft. "We can't go back, we will loose time we defiantly need. But we can't get up all up… by the stairs." His eye's shot throw the dark space. Not much to see, slimy pipes, filth, trash and a old fir hose… His eye's twinkled as he turned around. "Like I said, we can't get up all three, but one light person could do fine…"

Lizz looked at El. "You don't think…" She looked at Sands. "Say something, he's considering…" She saw Sands grind as well. "Owh, fuck you both!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

"I can't believe I'm doing this!" She grumbled at herself. Placing her hands on the next steps, while trying not to let fall the fire hose she climbed up. "After this I'm going to hate you both for good!"

"Don't talk, girly, you mid slip and fall down. And it's ganna be a_ loooong_, painful fall!" She rolled her eyes and wished someone could kick him. But is comment made her wonder, who high was she? Slowly she turned head a bit and starred right into darkness. Quickly she turned back to the stairs. "So, that's why people say, don't look down." She swallowed and slowly opens the hatch. She looks into a long hall, similar to the one she got dragged by Daily. It was almost dark, only lighted by a small hanging lamp. She took a deep breath and climbed out. Quickly she wraps the fir hose around a tick iron pipe and throws the hose down.

She heard a small thud from the hose and a curs from Sands. Clearly the thing had landed on his head, it made her smile and feel a bit better. "Just hurry up wouldya! I'm not very in the mood to get shoot without someone to protect me!"

"Yeah, yeah, hold you're horses, Lizzy-O. Climbing up without eye's is a lot harder then you think, honey." A frustrated huff sounded from El and without a couple of minutes the both of them climbed into the hall.

Lizz smiled and clapped her hands. "Mission accomplished!" Sands grabbed her shoulder and pushed her forward.

"Very happy for you luv, but where not done yet."

Lizz stuck out her tong. 'Party-pooper,' she thought. Quickly she followed El, who know exactly where he was going. To the roof, to the room she'd been locked up for the days. There was a computer. And that was the plan. She would plug in her MP3 player, upload the files and send them to her bank count. The money would be hers and they could get out of here in no time.

Off course this all sounded much easier than it really was. As a matter in fact, she wasn't so sure it was going to work. She wasn't that much of a hackers. She only knew the basic stuff and she had no idea what kind of things she needed to do to get the stuff on her account.

'But let's not thing of that this moment.' She grabbed Sands even tighter and hurried after El, who stood still looking at the ventilation shaft. Lizz looked up to and didn't get why he was starring at a piece of metal while there where about to get caught.

"I think we have to climb throw this shaft."

Lizz's mouth dropped. "What! No way! It's icky in there! With spiders and rats and that just so-"

"Yes, thanks brat, we get it!" Sands snapped and grabbed his hand loose. "Just get you're ass in the shaft!"

"Why do_ I_ have to go first!"

"So we can see if it's safe! If you get eaten by a mutated rat El and I know we have to take another way."

"Bastard! Now I'm _never_ going into that thing!"

"Yes you are!"

"NO!"

"_YES_!"

"Shut up!" Two heated head turned to El, who didn't seemed to be entertained by there fight. "I'll go first, you two just shut up!"

They both nodded. Annoyed El pulled the roster from the shaft. When he was about the climb in Lizz tapped on his shoulder.

"Uhh… El?"

"_What_!" He hissed with his jaws shut.

"If you haven noticed, there is iron on you're paints." The girl pointed at the iron chains on his Mariachi paints. He frowned. "So?"

"Don't you think people will hear metal rattle throw the pipe?"

It seemed she had a point. Questioning he looked down at her. "So what do you propose?"

She stared to grind and pointed at his paints. "You better lose you're jeans, before you lose you're goods."

El's eye's shot wide open and looked from the smirking girl to the demonic smiled of Sands. "You've got to be kidding!"

Sands stepped up front and rose his hand. "I think the kid got a point gigolo, you better lose you're stuff. Else you get us killed. And I know you don't mind me, but think of this sweet innocent girly who will suffer just because you're to chicken to pull you're paints out!" To intensify his point he pushed Lizz forward who was looking so sad and helpless.

El closed his eye's, cursed his weak heard for the million time and started to unzip is fly.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

I will give _anything_ in the world to see this moment! With a sarcastic grin on his face he crawled after El, without hearing the jingling chains. Just one fucking second will be enough. Again he heard the girl suppress a giggle and El growled something very low and very nasty.

God, if his Mariachi buddies just could see him now. I'm never going to let him forget this! I'm going to torture him, this is going to be blackmailing on a highest level.

Suddenly he hit his head by the end of El's boots. He rubbed over his head. "Why are you stopping!"

"Because where here, idiot!" He got for a answer.

"Well, excuse me fuckshit! Pardon me, I can't see a fucking-"

"_HUSH!"_ El kicked him again, this time on the jaw. There was much willpower needed not to just shoot the man. But I didn't, he didn't shoot El, not because he didn't want to because he did! He did want to shoot the man. But this time something stopped him from doing so. He knew he needed El for safety. Not only for him, but also for the girly.

There was a sound of iron, El kicked the roster down and jumped out.

"Clear!" He hissed.

"That's kinda logic El. Because if not, you would be dead, ore we would hear shooting!" Sand sneered and crawled to the end of the shaft. Shit, how deep was it? Was there anything under him where he could fall on?

"You can jump, it's about six feet." The girly whispered in his ear. He nodded and jumped to.

'Now it's up to you Lizz.' She looked down to the ground. God, how I hate heights! She closed her eyes and bit her lip to prevent screaming. Quickly she let herself fell down and landed half on Sands. He grabbed her shoulders and kept her stay steady.

"I knew you'd fall for me, sugar." He grinned. "But try to keep you're hormones in control, we still have something to do." Her eyebrow rose and she pushed him off.

"You're so _not_ to take serious, you know that!" She rolled her eye's and looked moody away. Her eye's stopped at El, who is looking for any traps or armed man.

"What kinda underwear is her wearing?" She hear Sand whisper close behind her. She just could bit her lip before laughing.

"He_ IS_ wearing underwear right!" He tapped on her shoulder. "Right!" She smirked.

"Yeah, he is. Just ordinary black, nothing fancy."

"No?Fuck and I thought there would at leased be little Mariachi singers on it." He clacked his tong. "Or some silk, or something _kinky_ like-"

"Sands knock it off!" She pushed him off. "Where being on a mission, remember! You can fantastic about El's underwear when we're safe. And I'm not around." She added quickly.

"_How_ is fantasising about _what_!" El hissed, party discussed party very angry.

"Nothing!" They both said on the same time. El growled what and pointed at the computer in the middle of the room.

"You, do that hack thing." He gestured at Sands. "You get you're weapons on sharp! And you both act like we are in danger, because we_ are_!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Her breathing speeded up, her fingers pressing the right buttons. Every second counted right now, if she wasn't fast enough the system would destroy itself and the money would be lost, deleted. Quickly she wiped away the sweat from her forehead and looked quickly at El. He looked stressed out, aiming his gun at the door, ready to shoot.

Sands stood on the left side of the door facing him. Somehow he looked calm even a bit relieved. He also aimed at the door, ready to kill. He know it could get very, very bad, but still he looked eased. Lizz didn't get it, but there was no time to think about that. '_Error'_ Still appeared every time she clicked on the files. "Fuck, work stupid piece of…" And she got throw the virus system. Surprise her eye's grow. "Who cursing _does_ helps…" She took a deep breath. "Now only the code." Slowly not wanting to type anything wrong she pressed the code, _F-R-E-E-D-O-M_. Within a second three different files opened and all the information as the money got downloaded on her bank account. She smiled.

"The money is ours!" She stood up feeling like god himself and grinned relieved.

The two man smile relieved. El slowly opened the door. Then he looked back in. "Coast is clear, let's move." Lizz nodded, grabbed Sands his hand and both run into the darkness.

'This is perfect!' Sands gently squished her hand. 'Everything was just fucking perfect!' He felt more than perfect. Right now he was back in control. There where no voices, no pain, nothing could hurt him now. She got the money, she was right next to him and El was still without paints. Fuck perfect, life couldn't get better right now. Well, maybe sight would make things even better, but you cant have everything.

He felt her stop and heart El climbed into the ventilation shaft.

"You're next smiley." She whispered playful. He realised he was still smiling as a imbecile and didn't feel like stopping soon. Carefully he placed his hands on the edge of the shaft and pulled himself up. After climbing in he reached over the edge.

"Need a hand, girly?"

"If you don't mind, Sir."

He grinned and bow elegant his hand towards her. "No problemos, M'lady." She giggled after his performance.

"Quit fouling around Sands, hurry up!" El hissed annoyed from right next to him.

"Whatever." He snored. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "Happy now Almighty El?" He got a grown for a answer. The three of them crawled back throw the shaft. Just a couple of hours and this whole fucking thing would be over. The idea of buying a casino started to pop up in his mind. That would be something, he always loved to gamble. Off course only if he was sure that he would win. Creative sportsmanship, he called it. Part of the game, part of life. And course the girly would come to. She wouldn't be very happy about it, but fuck that, she just have to get over it. Because she was his eye's and he needed her. He's he, the big bad bastard needed her! It surprised him no voice started to laugh, something that made life also much and much easier. The voices where back to where they came from, gone again!

"Sands!"

Okay, so one little voice was left no big of-

His hand slipped, suddenly there was no bottom. He let out a soft scream right before he crashed on a large piece of wood. A table probably.

"Fucking hell!" He yelled and looked up. "Thanks for saying there was a hole fucking brat!" To his surprise he didn't receive a snappy answer. What he did hear where chairs, scraping over the floor. And to his horror he heard clicking guns. He heart stopped for a second when he heard a very familiar voice.

"Well, well, if that isn't my old college Agent Sands…"

**Again sorry for the not posting, the bad English and the cliffy. I will try to finish this story before I go on a holyday. Because I think this fic deserves a ending. **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	39. Grand final part II

**Owh, boy you're going to hate me after this chapter… (evil grin)**

**Inspirited by: Evanescence, _My last breath. _**

**Chapter 39)Grand final part II.**

Sand froze after hearing that voice. It couldn't be… Was his luck really that low?

_Guess it it fuckshit! _The voice suddenly cheered in his head. _You fell right into the lap of you're nice old pal Dailey. IDIOT!_

"Get him up!" Daily yelled. Again the chairs scratched over the floor and within a second he was up against a wall, trapped between two strong arms. He froze that moment, he was so fucking caught!

"I know you're in there!" Daily snapped and looked up. Lizz let out a soft cry, immediately go cut off by El. Fast he grabbed her around her waist and placed his hand for her mouth.

"Don't say a word." He whispered in her ear. "They kill us!" She slapped his hand away.

"Yeah, and what about Sands!" Her eye's where wide of panic. "There ganna kill him!" Suddenly there was a shot followed by a low moan. Coming from Sands. Without any hesitate Lizz dragged loos out of El's arms and jumped throw the broken piece of shaft.

She landed on the broken table, almost fell but kept standing. With scared eye's she scanned the room. Dailey and a couple of man where standing right in front of her, all armed all very pissed because of her. But that wasn't her main rezone to be scared. Behind the men was Sands, slowly sinking on his knees. Blood started to drip on the ground surrounding him. With a pained face he grabbed his right upper arm, moaning low like a animal.

"Well, well, if it isn't the pain in the ass…" Daily smiled cold and pointed at one of the man. "Get her."

Lizz gave a scream, tried to turn around and run. But she stumble over a piece of wood and fell down. It didn't take the man long to get her op, drag her to the wall and push her down on a iron chair.

Dailey seemed very happy about her loud visit and pulled his self phone out of his pocked.

"Yeah, boss we got the kid." He started a conversation with the man on the other end of the line.

"You should've run, brat." Sands moaned a couple of feet from her. "You're so fucking stupid, you should've run with-"

"Shut up!" Lizz spit back. Slowly she looked up to the shaft. "They would kill you if I didn't jump."

"Well, what do you think there going to do now?" Sands snapped still holding his right arm. "There going to kill me and you when they got there money."

Lizz bit her lip and looked again to the shaft.

"So, now that we got you-" Dailey said, pushing his phone back. "-We don't need him any longer." He pointed at Sands. He walked up to the wounded man. "Get up."

Sands growl and looked furiously up. Only earning him a blow in the face from Dailey. Then he grabbed Sands and pushed him up. "Owh, Sands you have no idea how long I was waiting for this. You little blackmailing piece of shit!" Sands just grinned, what made Dailey only more furious. He grabbed Sands glasses and throw them on the floor.

Sands felt a shiver run throw his body when he heard the cracking sound of his glasses. This was it again, he lost his dignity. And with his dignity he lost his balance.

_"Fucker, you screwed up so badly this time…"_

_"You're ganna get killed shitty little boy and then you come to me! Hell is waiting for you piece of nothing!"_

_"See where this brought you Sheldon? To death! Why couldn't you just be a decent man, someone I could be proud of instead of hating?"_

"Fuck off!" Was all he said. What more could he say? And what did it matter, he was about to die. To get killed by a man he had been blackmailing from the moment he found out Dailey like kidporn. He never said it to anyone, in that way Dailey could stay a CIA agent and so he could urn some money. What a idiot he was. He should have go to the police, now Dailey was going to shoot him and the girly was going to be next. All because of him.

"Don't you shoot him!" Everyone in the room turned to Lizz. She went completely pale but wasn't thinking of shutting up. "If you shoot him I'm never ganna get the money back!"

"Owh, you will honey, be sure of that." And with that Dailey pulled his gun out an aimed at Sands. Lizz froze when she heard the blow. Quickly she closed her eye's.

But it wasn't Sands falling dead on the ground. To everyone's surprise Dailey dropped dead on the floor, making one last outcry. Slowly she opened one eye.

El stood in the middle of the room, aiming both his guns on the man in surrounding him. It was four against one, even a bit to much for El having nothing for cover.

'Shit.' Lizz thought. Slowly she looked up to the man standing next to her. He had a gun, but could she kill him? She sighted, no she couldn't she wasn't born to kill. But… you didn't have to kill someone to get his gun right?

Quickly she grabbed the man's gun and hit him in the knee. Because of Sands she knew that had to hurt like hell.

And it did to her delight. The man gave a scream and dropped on the floor. The attention left El and everyone looked at the screaming man. Lizz was a bit shocked by the sound of the man, know she did this to him. Quickly she pressed the gun in Sands hands like it burned.

"Here, you do it."

Sands felt the gun in his hand. And it was back again, the control. He had power again, a thing to kill. And with power there was control. The voices where under control. A smile appeared on his face. "Lizz lead the way."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

There was shooting from the other side. Once a bullet nearly hit him. But he knew he would win. It was too easy, these guys where a piece of cake after everything he'd been through. And it was because he wasn't fighting alone. He had the girly screaming where to shoot and El to watch his back, for the moment.

"Get down Lizz! Don't stay standing in the middle of this!" He snapped, pulling her down against the wall. "Stay here and talk."

"Right in front of you." He nodded and shot and off course hit. After a few more gun shots it was over. The fight was done.

"That was it?" He said. "This was the final battle, killing four man and running away with the money?"

"Guess so." El mumbled softly.

"And what's up with you Lizz? Still standing?" He looked at her direction and grinned.

"Yeah, I'm still alive. Just a bit disgusted because of all the dead bodies… And you're kinda scaring me off with that huge smile on you're face."

He glared at her and pushed the gun between his belt. 'So fuckers, where are you now? Can't get me anymore, now can you?' He felt the eager to scream victorious. Finally he was back in control again and not just for the moment. Forever, because he got the money and some weird girl that liked him more than El. He won, they lost end of story. He was back in the game!

"Sands-"

A shot and a yelp from pain and surprise. He turned fully around and stood stunned while she hit the floor. She was there, a few feet from him and he hadn't hear it coming…

_You really didn't see it coming… Fucking little monkey._

"No…" He felt paralysed. "Can't be…" Not now, not after every shit she survived. Slowly his feet started moving to her.

"Lizzy?"

He heard her cough and bow down. 'No. Not now.' He stuck out his hand and touched her hand.

"_See what you do to people, Sheldon? Look what you've done to her!"_

"_Didn't see that coming, you fuck, you screwed up!"_

"_Didn't see it coming, didn't see it coming…"_

He felt sick, numb, unbelieving. "Lizz?" She coughed and spit on the floor. He knew what it was, blood. He grabbed her wrist and shook it gently. "Lizzy, stay with me, say something."

"I'm going to died aren't I?" Her voice was weak and shivery.

"Fuck, _no_ you're not going to die! Don't fucking dare to say that again!" He heard his own voice skip a few beats but didn't care. She was talking shit, she couldn't die. Not now, not when they where so close to leave this shit-hole forever. Slowly his hand seek her cheek and lifted her head up. "Don't talk shit."

"I'm sorry…" She coughed again and started to cry. "Please go find my mom… and kill _him_." Slowly her breathing become weaker, her body eased and her blood started to drip on his hand. Before him, in his own hands she was dieing. And he just sat there not know what to do, what he _could _do to stop it. In his whole CIA training he had been told everything about killing someone. How to hurt you're enemy so he would break. But he couldn't remember any lesson about saving some-one else's life. And normally it didn't even matter. But now it did, because _she _was the one dying, not some agent ore other ally. No, it was Lizzy. Lizzy-talk-a-lot, Lizzy-snappy-mouth. Girly, to stupid to understand the real fucked up world. The little brat that cared about him more than he ever would have guessed. _More than I deserve._

"_Until now Sands, with her you could hush us..."_

"_But you screwed that up, you let her get killed…"_

"_So now where in here for real…"_

He knew they where right. He lost, but still had a mission to accomplish. Carefully he placed Lizz on the floor and turned around.

"I'm going to kill you and it's going to hurt like hell."

Footsteps stepped into the room. "Well, well if that isn't _The _agent Dailey kept talking about. You're the rezone it took me so long to find the little slut back. Thanks a lot for that." The footsteps stopped a few feet from him. "But in the end I found her, like always. Thinking she can run from _me_!"

"_I like this guy, Shel, he got balls. Maybe you should ask him to hire you."_

'Shut up!' Sands stood up. The pain in his arm seems somehow so less. Even the voices were so far gone, like there stood a wall between them. All what matter right now was his_ last_ mission, to kill him. It was a bit like The Day Of The Dead. He knew he was going to die, just one last thing and it all would be over.

"Freeze, mister Sands. As you could guess I'm not a stupid man. I have a gun and I'm heartless enough to shoot you… ore her again."

He stopped, like he was told. "Who are you." He asked slowly holding the rage.

The man in front of him laughed dryly. Sands tried to get all the details of the man. He had a America accent, sounded a bit South. He wore boots, did something business in drugs and… _shit_ he didn't know anything more about this guy.

"That's not something you should worry about, mister Sands. I have to say I'm a bit surprise that little brat didn't told you. I thought more of you, all the stories about you must be a big joke."

"Well, you didn't sound that great in her stories either, you sick fuck." He snapped back, calm but effective.

"Tsk." The man clacked his tongue. "So _what_, it's not I give a damn. And I think you agree, if you are a bit like _the_ agent I heard about. You walked over people and couldn't care less who you hurt. I must say, that's a man to my heart." There was clicking of a gun. "So, mister Sands. Are you the man I heard about, ore not?"

"_You are that man, Sheldon. That's the man you become… I'm so ashamed to call you my son."_

"_Yes, you are Shel, c'mon tell him. Maybe you can talk you're ass out off this, even urn some money of it. C'mon talk you sorry shit!"_

'Shut up, both of you!' He sighted and looked up to the man. "Yes and _no_. I was like that. I _was_ that low piece of shit. Never care about anything but me, never looked back to the deaths. I laughed at the torture I created. Until one day, I let some-one in." He grinned coldly. "Can tell you she was some fine piece of woman, that _bitch_. Never let some-one in, believe that. Makes you look to the world from a differed… _view_." Slowly he grabbed the edge of his glasses and took them off. The man across him yelped and Sands grinned. "See, isn't love a bitch? I thought I was going to die that day. Even wished this I would. But _no_, of course something fucked that up. I think you can imagine where this is going. _She_ helped me get back on my feet again, in more ways you can think of. Because of her I stayed myself and didn't turn into so weak piece of nothing, whatever some _things _will say…"

He made one step forward. "She made me realised there are bigger bastards than me on the world." He swallowed dryly. "Some things in you're life you can't changes. Like you're parents, you're first kill, the people you shot… But she thought I could _be_ a better man." He smiled and slowly breathe out. "Girly just didn't remember one tiny little thing…" He jumped forward, grabbed the gun and kicked the man between the ribs.

"You can't changes the way you are." He grabbed the mans hair and rudely dragged his head up so the guy had to _look _into his face. "Am I the man you've been told about, fucking no idea. But I know what I _am_. I'm agent Sands, the fucker how promised her to kill you if you ever touched her again." He aimed the gun between the mans legs. "You murdered her, just think of what I'm going to do with you now…"

He shot once and the man fell down. "I don't even want to know you're name, I don't want to know anything about you, fuckshit. Because you're to low." He listened to the moaning down at his feet.

Kneeling down he grabbed the man's right hand. "You touched her, motherfucker." He smiled briefly. "Once told her I broke a mans hand, finger for finger. I was lying back then…" Without a warning he snapped the mans little finger.

A hollow scream escaped the mans mouth, followed by seven more. Sands said nothing, didn't feel the pain in his own right arm, blocked the cries, just did his deed. It was the thing he was good at. He needed to make this guys ending as painful as could be. Because this was _it_ again. After today he would die, the quick ore the painful way. They, however _they _where, would find him, torture him maybe and kill him. It was his last job, last thing he found himself needing to do. At leased he thought…

After the eight he stopped and sighted. Was this the last thing he would do? Would this be the most important thing to perform before death?

"No…" He stood up and pulled the trigger for the last time. One soft last outcry and it was over for the bleeding tortured man in front of him. Never would he know who his last victim was.

'Couldn't care less.'

Counting his steps and tossing the gun away he kneeled beside Lizz. He took her hand and felt her pulse. Her heartbeat was getting weaker and weaker. He wasn't even sure if she would hear him. "He's death Lizzy I killed him." He felt a bit stupid, not knowing what to say. Everything seemed so unrealistic and fake. He tried to feel sad, upset ore furious. But he felt numb, there was no emotion. Like his brain stopped believing after she hit the floor. He didn't even feel any pain, everything sunk into nothing. Into the terrifying black.

His fingertips slide over her arm to her face. She felt cold but he could feel her smile. Blood slowly run from the corner of her mouth to the floor. "I don't even know what you look like, girly."

'I don't know anything about her.' Before all this he just had to look into some-one eye's and he could tell what the person wanted. Sometimes it was drugs, sex, revenge but mostly money. Looking was enough to know about a person. Some-one's bearing can tell you anything. Is this guy a killer, a enemy ore a lost soul.

'Like El.' He thought. El was the kind of man you would take for stubborn murder weapon, until you focused on him. He remember him sitting in the bar, playing a annoying song on his beloved guitar. By the way he hold the god damn thing you could see he love the piece of wood. He was trying to put all his love in his music, hoping it would make the lose of his wife and daughter a bit bearable. So the moment he could, he started to talk about them, his beloved Carolina and child. To make him bitter and pleased to take part in his scheme.

'Wait a second…' He held his breath. 'Where did El go?' He listened, hoping to hear the jingling sound of his jacket. "El?" Jesus, where did the fucker go?

"El? Where the_ hell_ are you!" He turned his head from side to side but could hear anything. "El get you're arse in here!"

Silent again.

"_Great, now he's talking to another imaginary friend…"_

"_Don't you get it piece of shit, he left you! Because he knew how insane you are, because you're sick and twisted!"_

"Fuck you _BOTH_!" He slammed his fist on the ground and let out a scream, finding out it was his wounded arm. Suddenly he heard something.

Boots! It where boots! But not one pair, not El's boots. More like soldier boots, they where close and running fast. Instinctive he grabbed Lizz her wrist and pulled her close. No way they would get her.

A door got kicked open and people run inside. Sands' hand shot to his belt, seeking his gun. It hit him, he had dropped it on the floor after shooting _him_. But it wouldn't stop him from attacking these soldier guys. He was done, his last fight, for once for something good and then the final was over.

"CIA! NOBODY MOVE!"

'What the…'

Before he knew it he got three gun barrels against his head. People started to run throw the room and reporting the death bodies. He heard them walk by, felt there stares but didn't move.

Suddenly there was a touch. Someone grabbed his wrist and twisted it so fare he had to let go of Lizzy. He lost it.

"_NO_! 'LET GO OF ME! Don't touch her, DON'T _FUCKING _touch her!" He kicked he screamed, tried to beat the bastard to pulp. But his body failed him, his blows got dodges. His kicks got stopped. But he kept fighting, because he was agent Sands. Because he needed the control.

Until a sudden pain in his neck. Everything got blurry, all his movements. He opened his mouth to scream. Because at the moment he knew he lost her. She wasn't real anymore because he lost the touch. She was gone, the control was gone. He was off balance. The voices would be back.

But he deserved it for losing her.

**Yes, I'm a very evil person. I know. And guess what. This was the grant final. This was it, last fight. The fighting is over for Sands. **

**Ready to review?**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	40. Medical report

**_Disclaim: I don't own anyone of OUATIM. I give all the credit to Rober Rodriquez a brilliant man. _**

_**Chapter 40)Medical report. **_

_**Date:** 16 february 2004,_

_**Name:** Sands_

_**First name:** Sheldon Jeffery,_

_**Date of birth:** June 9, 1963,_

_**Sex:** M,_

_**Bio:** Señor is brought in a few weeks ago. The precise date we don't know anymore because he's been brought in the middle of the night and by the way he acted no-one had the time to reregister the date.   
He still don't know anything of him, besides the medical reports and a few other files. That's al the agents left with him. It seems the señor doesn't have any family we can contact, ore children or friends. The agent told us to leave it like this, because he was a former CIA agent and they can't take the risk. But personally I think it's because they just want to let him disappear and hush his case. _

_It's still unclear what exactly happened to señors eye's. He's not just blind, he lost his eye's. What we do know is, he isn't born like this. There are a few pictures of him with the files with eye's. But when and what happened we can't say for sure because he won't speak at all. _

_He never spook after the first night. I can't remember clear what he said that night, it where all loose senses, vague words nothing seemed to fit. He yelled things like: 'No, fuck off, die, die, don't touch' and more thins like that. He even hit one of the agent in the face, tried to strangle one of the nurses and went finally quiet after a strong doses medication. _

_We left him in one of the locked cells for a day. He didn't got aggressive in fact didn't do anything. Until a male nurse got in to walk him to the main room. Again he tried to kill the man. After another day being strongly anaesthetized I walked into his cell strongly armed with two male nurse waiting at the doorway. I didn't touched him, kneeled in front of me. He didn't speak, didn't look up but I could sense he was fully aware I was there. I told him who I was, where he was. His face turned into a grimace. I waited a moment and asked him a few questions. But he kept silent and didn't move. _

_Another day later a nurse wanted to take him to the living room of our Centre. To everyone's surprise he stood up, grabbed her wrist and followed her throw the wall. He seemed to be okay. She guided him to a chair at the window and she started a conversation, he only listens but relaxed a bit. It went very well until she told him her name. Something snapped in him and he got aggressive, slamming the chair and hurting a other patient in the process. They were to late to prevent him from grabbing the nurse by her neck. She got slammed against the wall, standing on her tooth to stay breathing. There changed something in his bearing. Carefully he placed her back on the ground and touched her cheek, moving to her chin. He tried to read her face, I think. He let her go and sat down against the wall. He didn't even flick when he got drugged and brought back to his cell. _

_Since that moment he stopped fighting if someone touches him. He still doesn't speak, doesn't move even in his cell, what is strange cause the first day he walked from wall to wall feeling for the door. He seemed to gave up. _

_Still we can't trust his actions ore reactions. His behaving is uncontrollable. Like a few day's ago. He needed a shower and walked calmly with the male nurse to the showers. But at the moment he heard the water running he snapped and went wild. The male nurse had to drag him against the wall until he stopped hitting around. Letting him get a shower is getting harder every time. Because he knows the way, he knows who is walking with him. He doesn't like to get forced to do something. _

_Then there are his medical files. They don't make any sense. According to one of his files he was already been in a clinic but never been discharges with permission of a doctor. And in the second file there stands he got Schizophrenia. Still his medication stopped. A person with Schizophrenia will always need medication! And there is something else that bothers me. There is absolutely nothing about the señor before he joint the CIA. Nothing. _

_And there are some other things I have questions about. The first time he took a shower willingly a nurse came to me and asked me to look for a second. When I did I nearly dropped my maps. His back is covert with old scars. A bit later I saw thin white lines at his wrist. Señor has been suicidal, again something what wasn't been writhe down in the files. _

_There are so many questions around this man. I don't know where to begin and how to get throw to him. Because every time I got to him he shuts me out. Everything I say he banish. And it doesn't matter what I ask, he doesn't speak. Never._

_Only at nights when he's asleep. Then the talking begins, followed by screams. Again, there is not such thing as understandable lines. But there are sights of strong emotions on his face. So that means he's still here. And tonight he even called for someone. For a women I think. He called her 'Liz', ore 'Lins' I'm not sure. I wish I knew who this women is he's screaming for. Maybe I'll ask tomorrow. Maybe this time he will listen. And speak. _

_17 February 2004,  
01:18,  
Dr. Djessey Dominguez. _

Dr. Dominguez placed the map next to her on her desk and yawed. She looked at the clock and moaned. 'Again a late day. To late for me.' She got up . 'I need a coffee.' She grabbed her jacket from the ground and looked questioning at her computer. Would she get back to work about her new patient ore call it a day?

After a moment she shrugged. 'There is always tomorrow and it's not like he's going anywhere.' Smiling she switch the lights of and locked her door. After getting a hot cup of coffee she walked to her car closing the doors of El Centro psíquico, 'La Esencia.'

_Psychic Centre, The Essence. _

**So this leaves me with many options. Maybe I could leave Sands here. He will be safe from his enemies because in theory he doesn't exist anymore.  
But still there are many other options. What do you think? Do I continue ore leave Sands be? **

**Waiting for you're answere, Sue-AnneSparrow**


	41. What comes around goes around

**Because I knew I was going to writhe this end, I already made a poem of it a couple of month back. Called 'Sands of time,' Check it out if you like. Same thing about, 'Slowly I'll disappear', also about this Sands.**

**Many thanks to: Sands-agent, don't wory those loos ends will be cleared. Kentucky Fried Chicken: I argee, he's not a bad guy. Kay he killed half Mexico but in a very, very strange way he's more of the good guy. Me-Loves-Orli:Hell, YEAH I'm going to continue! And thanks to Lynn for reading:D**

**Disclaim: Don't own anything, you know the drill, it's from him ( point's at Robert Rodriquez) **

**Chapter 41)What comes around goes around. **

White walls, white walls. He knew it without sight. He was there in a room of white walls. And he was all alone.

No, not entirely alone. The voices where back every time the medication wore out. But if he sat very quiet and didn't move they would stay back. So that was what he did every day, every second of his life. Every time, because that's all what he had left.

'And I deserve it because _I _let her get killed. She died because of _me_.' He lifted his arm slowly and touched his face. Bandages stopped him from injuring his face. Some voice he didn't knew even told hem he would get a straitjacket if he would hurt himself. But he had to, he needed to bleed for all the things he had done. Maybe that way someone, _anyone_, would understand he was punished enough and end it. 'Please, that anyone, come quick…'

He couldn't remember how long he'd been here. He lost track of time. First he tried to carve strips into the wall. Then he realised he couldn't make day out of night. After ten stripes he stopped.

In fact he stopped with everything. Why would he fight back and get beaten again. He'd been there already so he knew there was no end out of it. He was helpless, not strong enough to kill someone. Half of the day he was drugged and the other half was one big hellhole. Voices he couldn't hush, burning pain in his head and getting forced to eat something. He hated it.

But sometimes someone would walk in and talk to him. It was a she and she had the same high girlish voice as… But she was gone. Fucking irony. Maybe God's sick twisted humour. Fuck God.

A low cold laugh echoed throw the room. Ore was it in his head? He lowered his head and made himself as small as possible. Suddenly someone grabbed his shoulder forceful and he winched back. Quickly he cocked his head up but saw no-one.

He tensed. He could _see _again. 'Fuck, need to wake up!' He hit himself in the face. 'Wake up fuckshit, before-'

"_To late Shel, owh boy you're back again!" _The voice started to laugh.

'Go away!'

"_Hell no, finally you're trapped and you can't run from him. I'm staying to see you get beaten every time you fall asleep…" _

"NO!" His head snapped form side to side, white walls, white walls. Nothing to hide under. Just a iron bed, nothing more. He could hide, couldn't escape. He looked at his hands and saw them tremble. Cold sweat started to run over his cheek. 'No, they brought me back.' In time it seemed. Right at the moment the white man changes his whole life by saying-

"_Sheldon?" _

'Mom?' No, please let her not come back. She can't see me like this. She'll hate me!

"_She already hates you Shel, she doesn't need to see you to know what kind of sick bastard you've become." _

'Motherfucker!'

"_No, that would be you're daddy. But don't cry he will be here soon…"_

"_Sheldon? You killed that girl?" _

'No!..._Maybe_- I don't know…'

"_You did Shel. She trusted you and you let her down so hard. One second you dropped you're guard and she got hit and you didn't do a think to help her. She was dying and you just let her go! You deserve to be here! Trapped forever for everything you've done! And I'll be sitting here and enjoy the show." _

'No! that's not true, she died because of that shitfuck, not because of _me_!'

"_Really? Let's ask her. She's right over there…" _

He held his breath and shivers run over his body. Slowly he looked up and gasped. She lied there, on the ground in a pool of blood. Hair hung for her eye's, he couldn't see her face. But he knew it was her, she wore the bracelet.

Slowly he pushed himself up and stared at her. "Lizzy? Lizzy-O?"

A movement flow through her body and she spook._"You killed me. I hate you." _

"NO!_NO_! I DIDN'T!" He dropped on his knees and he slammed on the white floor. "I didn't! I didn't! I didn't!" Every time she kept dying and every time he was to late to stop it. His hands hurt, he knew they would be bruised. But he had to tell her he didn't. Because if he did he really deserved to be in this self-created hell. So he kept slamming at the floor and screamed.

Until a needle stuck in his arm and the white got replaced by black. He went quiet and his body relaxed against the wall. He heard people walk away. He tried to fight the drug they but in him again. He didn't want to get medicated, didn't they get that?

"Señor Sands?"

Fuck it was her again, miss-talk-to-much, his punishment with a to much alike voice. He sighted and hoped she would go away soon.

"Who is Lins?"

His head snapped at her direction. It was _one_ thing she sounded like her, but now she was fucking talking about her!

Dr. Dominquez stared at her patient. For the first time in months he had truly looked up at her. A breakthrough! She smiled. "Was she family? Ore was Lins you're wife?" His muscles tightened and something in his face changed. Before she knew what happened he grabbed her blouse and pulled her close.

She gave a scream and tried to get loose out of his iron grip. She looked from side to side, hoping to find something useful.

"Lizz."

She froze and looked up. "What did you say?"

"Lizz, you dumbshit, _Lizz_."

Her eye's grew wide. He talked to her, he wasn't as far gone as she had thought he would be. She then remember he still got his hand clutched around her blouse. She tried to pull loose and when that didn't work she yelled for the nurses.

The man grinned when he got dragged unto the wall. "Fake bitch, go to hell." He grinned and kept staring at her with a penetrating gaze.

A bit uncomfortable she stood up and ordered the man to keep a eye on the señor. She kept cold until she walked into her office. She dropped on her chair and took a deep breath. Off course it wasn't the first time a patient grabbed her ore yelled at her. But somehow it felt different. She couldn't place it, but there was something wrong about this case. Why would his files concealed so many things. About his medical report, his birthplace and his friends ore family. It was clear he had still some one left he cared about else he wouldn't have say her name.

She got knocked out of her thoughts by the creaking sound of a opening door. A tall Latino man with long black hair wearing it in a ponytail stepped in. Confused he looked around.

"Not the janitors room I suppose?"

She smiled, placing the maps of her patient back. "No, this is my office."

The man smiled and scratched a bit embarrassed his head. "It's my first day here, I have no idea where everything is."

"No problem, I remember my first day. It felt like I ended in a labyrinth with all the walls and rooms." She stood up and introduced herself. "Djessey Dominguez, psychologist and doctor of sector four."

"Juan Guenzõ."

"_Sone of God_, nice name. So where do you have to go?"

He shrugged. "Not, sure I was ordered to observe some of the patients. Making some files about there behaviour, you know something all the new guy's have to do."

She nodded remembering her first-day jobs. Nothing more than look and writhe down, boring but also interesting. "If you want I can walk you there, I've been here for about seven years."

"If you don't mind." Juan looked into the wall and looked questioning at her. "Does there even exist something like a route map of this Centre?"

She giggled. "Not that I know. So what patient do you have to check?"

"Agent Sands."

She frowned and pierced her eye's into Juan's. "That can't be. He's my patient and I never gave anyone the order to observe him." Her eye's narrowed. "Who gave you that assignment?" Juan's gaze got blank.

"Dr. Something-something, I'm sorry, I can't remember. While I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure anymore if it was Sands." He pointed at the maps on her desk. "Might have said that because of the maps, are there anymore patients beginning with SA?"

She relaxed a bit. "Only Sanderson I can remember. But if you're looking for him you're in the wrong part of the building." She picked up the maps about Sands and placed them in her drawer, locking it. Then she stood up and walked with Juan into the wall. "I'll walk you there, but if you want to get a good start it would be wise if you could remember you're patients names."

Juan nodded silently and followed her throw the walls. While she walked into the elevator she tried to think about possible theories to talk to señor Sands. If she could get him so far he would willingly speak about himself maybe she could help him. And if that worked out she might get a bonus. And that would be very helpful since she was way behind her rent.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Light, darkness, light, darkness, colours. Yeah, he was back again. Dreamytime was over. Sands slowly rubbed his hand over his head. 'Headaches, do they ever stop?' He turned his head a bit to the door, it was all silence on the hallway. 'Must be night, then.' He realised he was cold, where did they hide the bed? And where was his gun? How took it again? And what happened to his head, fucking headaches…

Feeling sick he sat silent in the room with the white walls. He broke his head to remember how he got here. There were CIA agent involved. And there might be some drugs been involved, some heavy shit…

"_Idiot…" _

He remember right away where he got the headache from. 'Go away.' It always started the same. With one voice, the voice. A shiver run throw his body. Soon there would be more.

"_Don't remember, huh, ore don't WANT to remember?"_

'Fuck off.'

"_Cursing, yes you're good with that. Shel-big-shut, but who is laughing now?"_

Sands wasn't sure but he could swear there was a soft but penetrating laugh.

"_Can ore can you not remember anything?" _

'No, fuck _off_!'

"_Do I have to remind you with some fancy mumbo-jumbo ore can you figure it out yourself? Because I know you know exactly what I mean, savvy Shel?" _

'I said, _FUCK OFF_!'

"_I won't, you know that, I know that, the others know that. And it's because you killed her-" _

He grabbed his head. "GO AWAY!FUCK OFF!"

"_Yes, see you remember. So do you also remember killing her? Murdering her? Hurting her like she was nothing? Was she nothing Shel? Was she nothing to you? Just a thing like all the others?" _

His hands slackened slowly and he leanded his head against the cold wall. 'I don't know.' The truth for once, short and painful real. He _didn't _know. It stung like a hellbitch. He didn't _know _what to think. His mind couldn't focus, make choices. Things that normaly where so easy to deal with where now so fucking hard. Who was he? The killer from the stories? A weak little shitty kid? Just a sick and twisted machine following orders from a voice? He couldn't choose, lost the balance between it, him, they. 'Lost the control.' He bit his lip. "Lost it."

"_And still losing it. Losing, you keep losing. But Shel, it's never about winning ore losing. It's about power about having the biggest toys. With that you urn power and then, after that winning gets in the picture. But at the point you are you're not even enough to lose anything. You're nothing, just a shallow shel." _

'No, I'm not.' He rubbed his head. 'At lease, I think…' Where was he again? What did have happened and where was this going to?

"_I know where this is going to. You're going to get out ore get killed. You may choose. But wait, where would you go if you came out? To the CIA? Hell, then send you here. To family? WHAT family? You don't have anything left. This place is the best you can get. There is nothing more for you in it. The sky is the limit and you've reached that."_

"_He's right, Sheldon. What comes around goes around. That's what I told you when you where young. Everything you've done, you're going to pay for it, right here right now. Like you deserve, nasty boy!" _

'What comes around, goes around…' He shifted a little and touched the wall to feel where he was. Crumble paint fell on the floor when he slid his palms over it. 'Comes around, goes around. Comes around… goes around.' It felt foggy in his head, everything seemed unclear.

"_You killed her." _

"_Murdered her."_

"_Shoot-"_

"_-Them all, Shel. Shoot them all. Only for yourself. Everything you did was always just for yourself. Any kind of opportunity to create chaos, or kill, or trip someone was purely for yourself. Your own benefit, your own kind of very very sick sence of humour."_

'Comes around, goes around.' Made pretty much sence. He had to pay for the things he had done. 'Comes around goes around, comes around…'

**Been a couple of day's since I updated. But the ending has to be good. Like Mort would say: All what matters is the ending. So that's why it will take some time for me to get there. But don't worry I'm back:D!**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	42. Livin’ la vida loca

**Last chapter, last little surprise and after that finitó. More than a years work is done. Got to say, IT SUCKS!**

**Disclaim: The positive thing is, this will be the last time I have to do this: NOT MINE! **

**Chapter 42) Livin' la vida loca. **

Times didn't matter anymore. Day turned in night, minutes sunk in hours. Weeks walked by. He couldn't get grip on it. Couldn't remember how long he had slept. When the doctor had come. Ore when he got here. Even parts of his memory stared to fade. Pieces of his passed simply disappear. Was he disappearing? He didn't know, couldn't see, grab reality. The way back to the light was gone, he was stumbling in the darkness.

The words repeated over and over. 'What comes around, goes around.' He opened his mouth to say the words out loud, then stopped.

The cell door opened and someone stepped in. He tensed and focused. Was it she? The one with the high voice? But the footsteps didn't sound female. The steps where from boots and sounded harder on the floor then the ticking heels of her. So if she wasn't the one, who was? No-one other than she came in his room, when he was conscious. Would they sedate him again? Hopefully that wasn't the case, he had it with people pumping him full of drugs.

The boots stopped right in front of him. Lifting his head up he tried to get some information about the person in front of him.

"You have no idea how lucky you are." A heavily accented voice spit to him. "Get up." His mouth dropped and when he didn't reacted he got dragged up. He hadn't expected that, they never took him anywhere anymore and defiantly not this way. And something in the way he got treated scared him.

"_Shelly is getting helpless. A helpless drugged lunatic! Remember the times in the basement, all alone in the dark, no-one around to help you out, no-one to care…"_

He froze, but for just a second. His head snapped to the voice and he hit forwards with his fist. The voice hissed some curses and let him go, avoiding to get hit. He crawled back to the wall and pushed his body against it.

"_Finn_, have it you're way Gringo." And strong hand clutched around his upper arm and again he got dragged up. No matter how hard he tried he could get loos out of the iron grip. He felt iron getting around his wrist. 'Handcuffs!' He clutched his jaw and draw his body backwards to get his wrist loos. Without any effect.

"Should have got the jacket." The voice groaned and dragged him closer. Without a warning a stinging pain shot in his neck and everything felt blurry again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

The grumbling sound of a engine sounded close by. He got tossed from side to side, felt his cheek get cut by a piece of glass. Feeling sick he moved turned his head away from the glass. His head was spinning after that, the blurry feeling didn't wore off. Strange, it normally did after he woke up. Slowly he made a attempt to get up, but realised his hands where still chained together. He decided to leave it, because the headaches started to come up.

After driving for god knows how long the car suddenly stopped. The engine didn't turn off, but a door got opened. Shortly after that the door at his side got smacked open. With no further warning a hand grabbed him by this shirt and dragged out.

He didn't even got to changes to stand on his own. The man started to walk and he couldn't do else then follow. The man, holding him sometime muttered something, but didn't say anything directly at him.

Then they stopped, and he was thankful for that. It had been… long since the last time he'd walked that much, ore ate something.

"This must be it." The man said, not to him but tom himself. "21 Salte la calle." The man turned to left and he followed silently. After a few feet the man stopped again. "You don't deserve this Gringo." And with no further warning a rock hard fist slammed him in the face.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

When he woke up his whole face hurt, not to begin about the headache. He moaned softly and tasted blood. In what kind of hell did he end up this time? He slowly touched his cheek and cried out. 'Yes, I've must have hit bottom.' He tried to move, it was getting cold. Must be night, ore early morning. He shivered and whist to know where he was. He tried to get up, but failed. Stumbling forward on hands and knees he felt around. There was not much, garbage backs, a puddle of mutt a couple of glass bottles and finally he reached a wall.

"_Great, you found a wall. Now what?"_

It had a point. He was free, at leased no cages in a room anymore. Still he felt even worse then when he was in that room. There he knew what was going on, but this was much more terrifying. Not to forget, it was getting cold. And his whole head hurt.

He sat down in the corner and wrapped his hands around his knees. Trying to keep is breathing under control he stared to count.

"_For what point, Shel?"_

'So I stay here and keep remember.' He breathed out and realised he was shivering. If he just knew the time… Ore where he was. Ore what that man wanted from him. There had to be something right? There was always a catch. Maybe he was tested, was he back in the CIA. They where probable laughing there ass off right now, seeing a blind insane man struggling behind the windows.

But he didn't thing about it to move again. Right here, right now he was safe. Nothing was here to harm him. Still he felt terrified. Not knowing was as bad as torture. To not know what to expect. Everything could happen, hell maybe people where standing around him and he didn't even know.

"_Scary isn't it?"_

He didn't reply and silence fell. It got colder and colder, so it must been night. His legs started to feel numb and he rubbed his shoulders to stay warm. It didn't changes much. He kept shivering. But somehow he drifted into sleep.

He woke up again by a weak sunbeam in his face. His body was stiff and painful from the night against the wall and the cold. He cocked his head up, remembering how he got here.

A few hours went by, still nothing happened. 'Maybe I should go.' He thought. 'Walk away and-' Yes, and then what? Where could he possibly go to or expect some help? So he just sat and listened to the birds sing there cheery little song. He wished for his gun to shove some metal in there cheery ass.

"_Yes, take it out on some poor little birdies. That would be just the thing a sick psychopath like you would do." _

Again he didn't reply.

"_So you're ignoring me now? You think that's going to help?" _

'Maybe.'

"_Sissy, ignoring you're problem isn't a solution it's a sigh of weakness. You think you can simple ignore everything you've ever done?"_

'No, but forgetting helps.'

"_Forgetting? Then why don't you forget you're whole life? That would be a beginning! Failing, Shel, you're failing. Why don't you try harder to get out of this shit? Do you want to be here?"_

'No, but I don't have any other place I would like to be.' He sighted. 'Truth can be a bitch you know, but realising, damn that would be the hellqueen.'

"_Finn, you just want to stay here the rest of you're life then? Jesus fucking Christ Shel, you're really that pathetic to end here in the dumpster of the street between rats and garbage? Where did the real Sands go?" _

'He got beat up every day while you where making fun of him.'

"_Right, my fault. But where did the corrupted agent go? Then guy who could kill anyone without getting dirt on his boots?"_

'He got insane since the moment he got betrayed and lost his eye's.'

"_You where always insane, Shel, but you embraced it. You loved it."_

'_Bull_, you know that was much as I do. You don't know what it's like to battle yourself every god damn day, hoping to stay in control so you don't have to listen and reliving you're past. To feel the pain and the sorrow. Trying to hush you're guilt. I fell of the edge long time ago, just to weak to face it.' He grinned. 'To _blind _to_ see_ it.'

The voice stayed silent. Relieved he sat back. 'Got you there didn't I. Finally you don't have anything to answer. I'm right and you know it. This time I'm the one telling what weak shit I am and I don't give a damn about it. I did my last mission, that guy is death. There is nothing more to live for.' It was like Day Of The Death. Same place, against a wall with no clue where he was. The only difference was this time he was shivering from cold and not from injuries. And there was no little chiclet kid to stand next to him. Ore-

A car stopped making lots of noise. Someone honked the horn. He tensed and crawled behind a garbage back. A door got opened and he heard a radio play a very cheery song. To full of joy for the moment. The door closed as the music stopped.

He frowned and focused on the sounds around him. The birds had stopped singing, probable because the noise from the car. There where fast footsteps. And they where coming his way.

A curse. "_Jesus_, what a ass I said clearly I would be here in the afternoon!" Another curse followed by a sight. Again footsteps and something very familiar. His heart stopped for a moment. Jingling. Annoying jingling , way to cheery music…. But it couldn't be…

A gasp. "Jesus…" Again a few steps. "Just, what have-…. _Jesus_." One final step. "Sands?"

The voice came from right in front of him, sounding very sad. Slowly he lifted his hand. The chains rattled. Two warm hands grabbed his.

"You remember me?" She spook softly. All the weight of guild, hate and pain seemed to fall off. Even the darkness seemed a little less.

"Lizzy?"

It was enough to make her cry. "O my god, I was so worried! What on earth have they done to you!" Her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed his cheek. "Jesus, and that ass! I told him I would be here in the afternoon! _Shit_, you're freezing!" She kept asking questions, while sobbing. He didn't know what to say, what to do. It didn't matter. All what mattered was, she came back.

Then she let go and he panicked. Without touch or sound she was gone again and he would be alone again. All alone in a white room.

But she was still there. "Can you walk?"

He shrugged and pushed himself up against the wall. It was hard but he succeeded. His head was spinning but his mind was clear.

"I'm ganna take you home." Her voice was bright and by the high tone she spook with he knew she was smiling. "I bought a big apartment a few hundred miles of Mazatlán. Close to the coast, not far from the Centrum, but not that close so herd of tourist are walking around you're house. Then have a small church, not that matters I'm not religious ore anything and-"

He realised he even had missed that annoying voice and her ability to talk to much at the wrong time. She placed his hand on her shoulder and hold him close. "C'mon let's go and leave this shit hole forever."

Carefully he stepped forward and let her guide him to the car.

"You can lie in the backseat, get some sleep." He nodded and collapsed on the soft leather. 'Since when does she has taste?' He didn't got the time to get a good answer. Before knew it she drove away. The radio started to play again. And while the car drove away from hell and he fell asleep, Ricky Martin sang:

"_She's livin' la vida loca  
Livin' la vida loca  
She's livin' la vida loca  
Livin' la vida loca"_

_**The End. **_

**So there it is. The ending of this story. I hate it to end a story. It's like the character freeze. I'm finished and it sucks. But it was the ending, my ending. I thought about it to end it this way a long time ago, I believe this hit me the first time I stared to make this story in English. ( Also got the idea of the voices when I started in English) Big step for me because I had like English for five years and three of them I had a teacher who didn't even understood the languages herself. Still I wanted to make it English because a Dutch Sands… is just not the same. In English he just sounds like himself, like the real Sands. **

**I do have to thank many people for helping me out with the English and make me writhe. Especially thanks to Me-Loves-Orli: For being my NR 1 reviewer and telling me to keep writhing and to have also a obsession for everything that about JD. Sands-Agent: Thank you very much for the beta-ing, reviewing and support, means the world to me! Twix: For reading all my poems and reading/reviewing this story. Fanfiction Fanatic: For beta-ing many of my chapters. Very sorry you got so busy you did a kick ass job! And last but not leased: Autumn Avaia: Again for the reviewing and betaing my crap, thanks! THANKS YOU ALL! **

**So this is the end. But there will be a sequel because Sands is fare from sane, Lizz still got a dad and a mom to worry about and I have much, much more things to writhe down. It's keeps me sane for the moment you know. **

**One last thing, for the love of whole humanity, REVIEW for me… PLEASE?**


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